In one of our shortest CrapTastiCasts ever, we struggle for subject matter after the Sabres' first loss of the season. While you can't really say we succeeded, we showed up at least so that's something. During the more lucid moments of this particular installment from the Buffalo expat insane asylum, we talk a little about the Sabres, a little about Manti Te'o, a little about baseball, and a little about man tears. The Scizz was off his rocker for most of the evening so don't expect much by way of focus... which, incidentally you should never really expect from us anyway.
Musical content by way of Deeg house band The Jambrones, Jane's Addiction, Radical Face and Aerosmith.
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Yes, I know the NHL is back and the Sabres are 2-0 and what not, but before the season gets too far under way, I still have some football business to take care of.
I still don't have a clear opinion on Mr. Doug Marrone. On one hand it, he has done a great job turning around a trashcan football program at Syracuse (and Buffalo IS a trashcan football organization as it happens), he appears to have been a popular candidate among many other front offices (unlike Chan Gailey, who Arena teams wouldn't call back), and he is the kind of "outside the box" hire that many of us have been clamoring for. On the other hand, said program was only a shitty Big East school, the Browns and Eagles folks are just as fatuous as the Bills, and a very successful, Super Bowl winning, defensive-minded Lovie Smith is still available.
Yet, no matter how I look at it, Doug Marrone IS the Buffalo Bills head coach, so I might as well get used to it. He has brought in Nathaniel Hackett to be the OC, as well as several hundred other assistants from 'Cuse, apparently, and has added some other staff members like new DC Mike Pettine (from the Jets) and WR coach Ike Hilliard (from the racist mascot taunting indigenous peoples team), both of whom I really like. So maybe, just maybe this guy actually knows what the hell he is doing. Or maybe not. #BecauseItsBuffalo
So instead of running down a hundred more "in-depth" points as to why or why not this hiring makes sense, I am choosing to embrace Douglas whole-heartedly, and actually give him some advice as someone who is already familiar with the player personnel shit-show he has inherited. I'm going to stick with the offense for today, as they give me a slightly less chance of having a rage aneurysm than the defense does. Maybe I'll be brave enough to tackle that next week.
Yes, Doug. That is roughly the number of players you should keep from this squad.
Let's be real here. That was fucking delightful.
The lockout is over, we've had top-level professional hockey for two straight days, and the Buffalo Sabres beat the piss out of the shitheads from Broad Street. What do we have to be sullen about?
/looks at rafters to see meaningless divisional banners and a slew of Bandits championships /kills self
There's certainly plenty of history to support a pessimistic tone today because, well, #becauseitsbuffalo, but sports are fun and yesterday was tons
of it. Is it a sign of things to come? Are we destined for the playoffs after a disappointing end to last season? I don't know and neither do you. Shit like games and goals and saves all still have to actually happen. Let's enjoy it, ok?
No? The Sabres are inevitably going to disappoint us and cause me to retreat to my son's nursery for a week's worth of tears? Well screw you man
For the time being we have the luxury of being all optimism all the time, at least until Yachtsman jumps on here with his "fuck all the things" tone, so join me after the jump for generally delusional and premature observations on Buffalo's early version of HOCKEYPUCKSTIME. (and a gracious tip of the hat to our buddy Frank
for that one)
You knew it was going to be like this. During all 113 days the players were locked out at the owner’s behest, through the passive-aggressive snipes in the media, through going from hating Bettman to hating Fehr to- well, we never really did stop hating Bettman, the only ones I heard talking about how many fans would be lost due to the callousness of those involved were national media types who can’t be bothered to waste their breath on the league when games are being played. Watching Wilbon and Kornheiser pretend to understand, let alone speak for the psyche of the North American hockey fan was akin to watching an elephant stung out on opiates attempt to ride a unicycle for the first time. Watching any ESPN personality lament the lockout with a barely-restrained smug giddiness in between five minute segments on Tebow and the Lakers was almost more infuriating than the lockout itself. You knew they were wrong, you knew that the sport, its teams and - in Buffalo’s case at least - even the ownership would be embraced before the ink was dry on the memorandum of understanding, “yes” vote on the lockout be damned. Sure, there were a couple of wavering souls out there, but they’ve been drowned out by the more than 10,000 attendees of this week’s scrimmage or the roving ticket buyers that have seemingly snapped up everything unless you prefer sitting by yourself. This is exactly what we knew was going to happen (perhaps not to this degree), and watching idiots pontificating otherwise on a network that is infected with plagiarizing journalists and trolling analysts was almost worst than the lockout itself.
Almost. As much as I could not tolerate the media during those 113 days it was ultimately the men at the head of this out of control train, the egos in suits that were the true villains. Thankfully the deal that could have been made in September if these people didn’t feel the need to mug for the press over the course of three months finally got made. And thankfully I don’t have to see what a barren wasteland filled with only basketball looks like beyond vivid nightmares of Vitale’s screaming and longform Bill Simmons columns. That- hockey returning- is more than enough for me. Nabbing some gear for myself and the rest of the deeg crew at half price is just a bonus. That said…
Good talk, Clarence.
/tired ass joke about me writing as much as Clarence Thomas speaks while The Court is in session.
You're all gonna hate this....
BEHOLD THE SEASON IS UPON US. How psyched are you? I, for one, am super enthused. If you are an idiot and listen to our podcasts (I don't and neither should you, if only to piss off Scizz and Dubs), you know that I no longer care for the brand of hockey peddled upon us by both Darcy Regier and Gary Bettman. There are SO MANY bettererer things you could be spending your hard earned money on. Elective dental surgery is live Shakespeare at the Globe Theater in comparison to whatever mediocre shitheels trot out on the ice on Sunday. But let's face it, your life is intertwined with this team (thusly making you a pathetic individual, much like myself /scotch) and community, so let's get you ready for this season in true asshole internet sociopath style....
"I did something relatively competently! I hope everyone blogs about it!"
If you're like me and you experience significant joy at other people's sports pain, then you probably love the New York Islanders. Fuck if I care about their glory years gone by when they actually won Cups. They've been near or at dogshit every year since I moved down to NYC in 2005, making an Isles game the best bet for a good Sabres roadie in the tri-state area. Thing is, while it's set to get much better when they move to Brooklyn (ha ha!), nothing is more dogshit than getting out to the hole of an arena they have out in Uniondale, NY.
Nassau Colisseum is basically what Mike Harrington would be if he was a sports arena with a slightly higher IQ and slender fingers. It's the Queen City Sports of athletic match venues, the Niagara Falls Reporter of stadia. It's the only thing you need to mention if a Long Islander talks shit about your hometown, even if you're from Batavia.
And, on top of being utterly terrible, it's bone you in the bum difficult to get to if (a) you don't have a car, or (b) you do have a car but like to throw back six or seven beers during a game like a real American but don't like to drive drunk because that's what scumbags like Billy Joel like to do.
So here at the Deeg, faced with this shit situation, we've started a grand tradition - still in its infancy, mind you - of hopping in a rented coach leaving from Queens, enjoying tasty beverages en route and avoiding the burdens of soberly watching a game in one the most massive of American shitholes.
Lockout over and NHL schedule in hand, we're ready to get the wheels in motion to #OccupyNassau on Saturday, February 9th. If you're interested, email the Deeg (firstname.lastname@example.org) or get at me on twitter @theycallmedubs. It was a time and a half last year and if you're in the New York City area you don't want to miss it.
Let's Go Buffalo.
In an effort to further expand our shitty digital universe here at the Deeg, contributors and house band members Jeff and Jon of The Jambrones have started a new podcast!
Not quite sports-related, Jeff and Jon's new series will focus on music - specifically their review of individual songs using perhaps the dorkiest music teacher rubric to determine a winner.
In the end, it's fucking rad.
With episode 1, the guys pit a hardcore tune from a Buffalo-based band against a manufactured pop tune from a young lady you probably hate. Download
or stream, and enjoy!
This doesn't even make sense.
The Apostles of Bob (Featuring the Apologist)
The NHL lockout ends, so what does DGWU Sports do? We celebrate by bringing back our seldom listened to NBA only podcast. Nobody can ever say we're whores for page hits (*Cough* Buffalo Wins *Cough* Trending Buffalo *Cough Cough*).
The Yachtsman and Scizz are joined in this ep. by fellow Deeg member the Apologist aka the Cartographer aka the Jazzologist for some sexy-ass basketball takes. We discuss the top 5 teams in the NBA, and where the Knickerbockers rank among them. We sloppily break down the current roster status and predict whether or not it can get the team to the promise land that is the NBA Finals.
We also talk about who the best and worst analysts and announcers in the league are (surprise, we hate almost everyone from ESPN), the Carmelo/KG/Honey Nut Cheerios incident, Andray Blatche's potential sex scandal, and a look back at the crazy players we used to love. LATRELL NEEDS TO FEED HIS KIDS!
Download the cast from our libsyn
page, iTunes, or that bad-ass streamer below. You're welcome.
Never has a CrapTastiCast required so much editing.
Sunday didn't go quite as planned. Our special guest for the afternoon was absent due to the failings of Time Warner's high-speed never really works internet so the rest of the NYC-based crew soldiered on with discussions of the Bills, Sabres, NHL and a silver platter of other topics that I can't be bothered to remember. We finish it off with another installation of our game "Scizz is a Douche," thereby giving us all the opportunity to show how stupid we are when we're a few deep.
Musical interludes care of Radiohead, Dr. Dog, Kendrick Lamar and 2 Bears. Download
and stream below, or hit our libsyn podcast page
for access to all of our podcasts.
The Beautiful Game
When the FA Cup started this season, before the "Proper" rounds of late, there were hundreds of teams competing the preliminary rounds. A long was still to go before the quarterfinals, this weekend's third round proper - the moment where Premier League and League Championship sides enter the fray - was full of what soccer fans: controversy, late goals, upsets and Arsene Wenger walking off the pitch with his arms crossed in hilarious and delicious disappointment.
If you happened to read my rambling post last week
and happened to, impressively, make it to the end of that monstrosity, you would have seen that I made some predictions for the round. And because I'm lazy and still hungover on the #ToiletWine I imbibed during yesterday's CrapTastiCast (expected to drop tomorrow), I suppose that recapping my predictions is as good/bad/pathetic way to talk about how the weekend went.
I... did not do so great.