With the NHL unable to get their shit together, a time normally dedicated to debating the Sabres lines and going on an NHL ’13 binge must be allocated elsewhere. With plenty of the deeg covering the comedy of errors that is the Buffalo Bills, I’ve decided to offer you something almost as good: a weekly column dedicated to previewing the week’s college football games. It’s almost as good in the way that college football is almost as good as the NFL. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
Yes, I’m starting you off with a curve ball. NBCSN has been televising CFL for a month or two and I gotta tell you- it’s the fucking tops. First of all, they simulcast the TSN feed and as any hockey fan knows, TSN is the biggest TV cocktease on the continent. You’re trying to tell me that if I lived ten miles away, I would be able to watch old Canada Cup games, hours of NHL highlights, all the World Junior games, and full draft coverage? Instead we get Skip Bayless and Around the Horn. Apparently the typical American fan wants Tebow and Heat coverage, and that’s why the typical American fan is a pile of hot garbage. If I had to live in Canada, TSN would almost make it worth spending forty bucks on a case of Molson.
The best football game I saw all week was CFL (Calgary v. Edmonton). A buddy and I picked a team, wagered ten bucks, and proceeded to watch the following:
-A touchdown pass on a botched field goal hold to end the first half
-A quarterback who spent four years on the Seahawks…as a Safety.
-One team almost erase a nine point deficit with three minutes left.
-A game-winning field goal attempt clang off the upright as time expired.
What entertainment! Unfortunately NBCSN isn’t televising any more CFL games until next month because they need to air IndyCar racing. I NEED MY FIX OF YOUR SILLY ONE-POINT TOUCHBACKS.
Rutgers at South Florida- Thursday, 7:30pm ESPN
Friends don’t let friends cheer for Tampa teams. This game is taking place in Raymond James Stadium, and since the Bucs can barely drag fifty thousand of these pretentious, overtan jackasses to a pro football game, I’m sure USF’s cheering section will consist of five shitfaced bros in Hawaiian shirts that got lost looking for Margaritaville. Also, does anyone consider Tampa “south” Florida? It’s like people that call Poughkeepsie “upstate” New York. I hate you. Read a fucking map for once. Oh and Sonic sucks too.
Wake Forest at (5) Florida State- Saturday, Noon ESPN
I suppose I should still be bitter at Florida State for bouncing my other alma mater from the NCAA tournament, but they didn’t make the decision to take the ball out of Nicholson’s hands on the last possession. Also, FSU’s recent shittiness has made me warm to them. I used to hate the place when they had Peter Warrick, Charlie Ward and company, but now I can see myself rooting for them to be the team that takes the championship away from the SEC. Also, you have to respect the most racist mascot in all of sports.