GO TO SLEEP ERIC STAAL!
Everyone's really been digging the "My Name Is Jhonas" meme with Enroth, which is awesome because matching awesome songs with awesome goaltenders is an awesome pursuit. HOWEVER, I (don't I always) have a bone to pick with this matchup -- Weezer's all well and good, and logically it totally works....but I think Enroth represents more than just a catchy tune from a poppy 90s band. Just look at the lyrics:
MY NAME IS JONAS
Come sit next to me,
Pour yourself some tea.
Just like Grandma made,
When we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once, but never again.
We've all left the den.
Let me tell you 'bout it.
King Llort has passed judgement.
I think our little Swedish Demon deserves more than Rivers Cuomo. I think he deserves a song which represents the many facets of little Jhonas Superstar: demonic gaze (did you see the way he stared down that linesman after the helmetless no-whistle?), hellish eye-hand coordination, fearlessness, and the fact that his performance is leaving a nagging evil thoughts in all evil Sabre hearts (mine most of all): Miller who....sort of?* Jhonas the Demon deserves a song which represents his new demonic following among Sabres fans. He deserves a band which mirrors his newfound awesomenitude. He deserves the Dark Princes regailing his exploits with the deepest darkest hearts of Metal. He deserves....Sabbath!
Are you dudes lost? Do you need a map?
Specifically, he deserves N.I.B. (Nativity In Black). I discovered the similarities when I was blessed with a random Sabbath streak on my iPod. Think about it: it talks about how awesome Satan (Enroth) is, how awesome it is to come over to the dark side (The Playoffs), how Satan will take you there (Enroth's performance in a must win game), forget about your former life (forget about Connolly & Sekera & Miller's mysterious injury for now, just watch me goaltend), you're the first one to have my love (he's just a Rookie!!). You'll get it when you read it:
Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now, with every hour
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met
You are the first to have this love of mine
Forever with me, until the end of time!
Plus, it's an awesome song filled with pre-Sharon Ozzy. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG. Besides, if Enroth grew his budding mullet a few feet longer, he could definitely fill in for Iommi. No problem.
Yes, this is my second Enroth stroking
in a week. I don't care. Hopefully he doesn't blow it tonight vs. Tampa, right guys?!?!!????* Come on now, I still love Miller. But the hallmark of good Sabre teams has always been two-headed monster goaltending. I'll take a Jennings over a Vezina any day.