I don’t know if I have ADD or I just want to get on a pedestal about a whole bunch of shit today, but I just couldn’t pick one thing to write about. So let’s make an introductory list: (1) Jerry Sullivan is a troll that eats babies. (2) I wonder what made Jerry Sullivan a troll that eats babies. (3) Props to Jeremy White and Howard Simon for not putting up with his shit this morning. (4) This Mario Williams business is intriguing and frustrating. (5) This tornado in Oklahoma is just... wow.
Ok let’s roll.
(1) Good lord, if you haven’t listened to Jerry Sullivan’s segment
on WGR this morning, it’s worth a listen - if for no other reason than to give yourself an idea of what the biggest asshole in North America sounds like. You know, just to give yourself a baseline. Let’s break down some of his quotes, on this, a day where the top story in sports is Mario Williams apparently feeling suicidal:
“I haven’t been sympathetic, one iota about this guy since he played his first game for the Bills.” Ok, so Sullivan doesn’t feel bad for a guy who’s suicidal, and hasn’t ever since he had a bad game. Nice.
Sully then went on to criticize Mario’s effort throughout the year, brushed off his double digit sacks, then disclosed (to my knowledge for the first time) that a player told him last year, off the record that he was unhappy with Mario’s effort. Next, Sullivan says “Anyway, he might have a very good year. There are indications - I heard in camp he came into camp energized! Oh boy, Mario Williams at 100 million dollars comes into camp energized”
“Go look at his injury history, it’s always something with this guy.”
Sensing a pattern here? Sullivan hasn’t even talked about the story yet - he’s just taken this occasion to rip a guy in the wake of a story THAT HE’S SUICIDAL.
“I know for me, in the text, he’s - he can’t even write a simple declarative sentence.” -achm- Unreal. Attacking grammar in a text message WITH A SENTENCE FULL OF FAULTY GRAMMAR. If I was truly anal, I’d break down what’s wrong with Sully’s sentence.
“I have written about suicide in an earlier - in an earlier life in journalism, and I know you’re supposed to always take threats seriously, but I’m having trouble with this one.” SO, I know I should be taking suicide seriously, but I kinda don't like this guy, so... naaaahhhh.
Then, one of the morning show guys mentions the column that Sullivan mentioned earlier in the segment, and he gets defensive. “You goin Ted Black on me?!” The next 5 minutes is Sullivan just lashing out at anything he can think of. He re-hashes the Ted Black press conference, and tries to paint himself the victim of Black’s aggression, when Black asked him if he wrote the column already: “that was a cheap shot on his part, and suggested he wanted a fight!”
“I laughed later. I like those vigorous exchanges because you get more out of people. … I tried it with Mario Williams after the Seattle game” So, Sullivan admits that he jumped on the guy after an embarassing loss just to get a rise out of him - and that this is a tactic he uses frequently. No, Jerry, no... you? I don’t believe what I’m hearing.
Finally, Sullivan closes out by saying “you guys, you guy - come on. I’m past 7:20, I’m not even gettin’ - I don’t even get compensated past 7:20. I don’t need that, bein - why don’t you guys talk about baseball or somethin.” So, Sullivan, a professional journalist, closes out with FIVE incomplete sentences minutes after he rips a suicidal football player for his grammar in a motherfucking text message.
As, The Barrister
tweeted this morning,
"You are a disgraceful person and journalist, @TBNSully
. May your taint be set on fire. Forever and ever, Amen."
I concur. Go to hell. You're nothing but a troll with a salary. You’re no better than the idiots that waste their lives on twitter just trying to calculate the right words to piss someone off. Actually, you’re worse, because you’ve found a way to get paid to do it. Burn taint burn.
The Barrister and The Apologist
I don't even care that the title of this episode rips off 'Friends' - it's accurate. We're mean in this one. Well, really only with respect to certain creepy members of a certain local newspaper's sports staff.
Recorded during and after the Sabres' most recent game - a win?!?? - against the Maple Leaves of Toronto, we talk plenty about the Sabres, how sad we are about the lack of silver linings this season, and then whistfully predict the inevitable Cup run. Oh, and Joe from Buffalo Wins makes a cameo to talk about striking out with the smokeshow bartender at Gleason's, further adding to the list of things we'll make fun of him about when he returns to Twitter on Easter.
Musical additions by the way of Jefferson Airplane, Homeboy Sandman and Kasabian.
, or stream below in the media player. And if you haven't, subscribe to all of our "great" "podcasts" via RSS
or the iTunes button below. LIKE A BOSS.
One of the weird and awesome things about writing for this godforsaken website is that we have met some bizarre and amazing and talented people who read our site and, for some reason, think what we do here is pretty ok. Many, if not most, of these new friends have their own set of insights and, when it comes to the gentlmen contributing here today especially, very own style of contributions to the rag tag world of the Basement Brigade. These guys have already contributed to the Deeg by writing and recording our podcast's theme song, which, with the hashtag that followed, has probably helped define what we do here better than any of our hastily written, curse-laden posts have ever done. Their latest contribution, their first here not set to a rock anthem tune, is well worth the read. ~ Cheers, Barrister By @jambrones & @boner_shorts
I am a Jambrone.
I write songs about Buffalo sports.
I pump you up.
I make you nod your head.
I make you sing along.
And yes, I give you “douche chills
I get ‘em too.
Because of this rare gift, I have been relegated to the underground, where it’s dark, dirty and verbally violent. While children are singing along to the sweet melodies of my annoyingly uplifting music, I toil in the shit, the blogosphere, the underground sports media, as one of…them.
It wasn't always like this. I had a real rock band once. We played in almost every venue available for original bands in Buffalo through the 90’s. We also were able to play regularly in New York and Boston and even took a stab at a Midwest “tour”. We got to open up for big nationally known bands that everybody knew. However, we were and always will be, a “local band.”
"Who's playing tonight?" ... "Oh, just some local band"
To me, that label, “local band” is much like “blogger”, or “podcaster”, it feels the same: Subpar, subhuman, subservient, and often, subversive.
Through the Jambrones, I’ve come to realize a kinship with these fellow “CHUDs”, if you will. We share ideas about teams we love presented in a hack-like yet charming manner with no "radio voice" and little regard for journalistic tradition. And yet, we do it well enough that more than a few strangers have come forward and really like what we do.
We’re just dudes writing and talking about sports; just CHUDs...making songs, writing shit like this piece, rhyming players’ names, and ripping on Matt Ellis. It’s <gasp> fun. But ALL of us get squashed regularly by those with sports media power: The Buffalo News and WGR550.
....and morons learn to use the internet.
Content here at DGWU Sports has been lacking as of late, but have no fear! I have decided to rescue you from boredom by doing what I do best: Taking faceless internet potshots at people I don't know and acting as if I am superior to them. Yaaaaaaaaaay, confidence booster! /gross pelvic thrusts.
I could always write about the ongoing issue of the crowd noise at the First Niagara Center, but then I realized I actually enjoy writing and that would cause me to stab myself in the face with a pen knife....repeatedly. The fact that there have been so many blog posts and articles written about the crowd noise at the arena, and the way people get so unbelievably over passionate about both sides of the argument is FUCKING HYSTERICAL to me. It is amazing that people take this stuff so personal. I think it does matter, ultimately, but I really could give two shits. This is what happens when dealing with so many post lockout fans. THEY ARE THE WORST! REMEMBER THE AUD!!!! DEATH STAAAAAAAAAAIRS!!!
Back to the point of this jerky jerkface post I'm about to present to you. If you read this site, you probably hate the Buffalo News writers as much as we do. Furthermore, if you are like ME, then when you read the comment section of TBN, you probably have uncontrollable ragestorms™ of hate that make you want to immediately strangle the person who wrote them. It becomes difficult to imagine that these people managed to operate a computer and actually spend time posting worthless comments about worthless columns that washed up/fat/lazy/possible red dots on google map "journalists" shat out that very day. Calmer than you are dude.
I could leave this alone, and just make the occasional snarky comment on twitter about how moronic the comments are, OR, I can search out the best ones and re-post them on here for everybody to see as I make fun of them with absolutely zero repercussions headed my way. I chose to stick with articles about the Sabres for today. This should be fun, and yes, I am an awful person.
You can't see it, but there is a laptop in that boat.
From our old buddy Mike Harrington's article, "If Sabres complete postseason charge, it will be historic."
"Look at this way nega-fans.....you could always align yourselves with the Leafs. There's always plenty to complain about up there!" - Chris K. Buffalo, NY
First of all, "nega-fan"? Is this a real term on commentator pages? Incredible. Sounds racist to me. This is one of those classic putdowns from die-hards. STOP COMPLAINING AND CHEER FOR (enter rival here) INSTEAD OF HOLDING THE TEAM YOU SHELL THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OUT TO ACCOUNTABLE FOR A MOSTLY SHITTY SEASON BLEEEEEEEEEEEERG!
"At least the team is worth watching again, after such dismal play from Nov. thru Feb.! Let's cheer the team we have and let next year happen after this season is over! God Bless Rick Martin!" - Joer N. Williamsville, NY
If you ever want to talk about the Sabres and get my repsect, never start with "at least". For example, after the infamous Bob Corkum trade, I'm sure somewhere in W-ville this guy was saying "At least Darcy made a move!" Fuck you and stop using Rick Martin's name in vain.
"some day someone (terry) might listen to the (NEGA FANS) and cean house!! Every one gets all goose bumby cuz they won a few games little late boys!! - Rick H. - Las Vegas, NV
Again with the racism! At least this guy is on point about ceaning house. Who needs to be goose bumby!
And again from Mike Harrington's article, "Miller's words help close out big win."
"Let's Go B U F F A L O! It's been 42 years, I hope it won't be too much longer with the parade down Main St and Washington streets." - Jack B. - Stoney Creek, Ontario
I don't quite understand the spacing out of Buffalo. Does Jack spell out all of his favorite team names when he gets excited? Then again, I'm just happy Jack can spell. It was probably just a mistake from a longtime internet user.
"Hi There @ the Buffalo news I sent a comment about 20 minutes ago, can you tell me when it will appear? Thanks Canada Jack B, Stoney Creek, Canada." - Jack B. - Stoney Creek, Ontario
Dear Jack, who I assume is over the age of 65 or under the age of 7. If you have questions about your comments posting, it probably is not the best idea to post your question in the same exact comment area. Try e-mailing. Or snail mail. Or asking yourself why anyone in their right mind would be this concerned about their original comment actually being posted.
I think I may know the problem.
"both kassian and hodgson could turn out to be all-stars or they might not live up to the hype. i'm just saying that so far there is nothing that supports the idea that this trade was lopsided in either teams favor." - Mitch D. - Webster, NYCould be all-stars? Could NOT live up to the hype? My mind is blown. This gets me thinking....Ryan Miller could play well in the next game....OOOOOOOR he might not! INSIGHT!"So we got another Raffi Torres for Kassian. Just think if we kept Kassian, and had him alongside Folgino.......two big wingers that can skate and produce. Good thiing we got Sulzer in the deal, because that trade was so lopsided.
Another great one by Darcy...........congrats...." - Glenn B. - North Collins, NYYachtsman?From shitface Bucky Gleason's article "Who knows where this Sabres team can go?""Two weeks you declared the Sabres dead and that Pegula should fire the GM and blow up the team." - Harry K. - Hooksett, NHNo, Harry. That was the venomous bloggers who said that. Bucky's face was full of crullers and he had icing all over his fingers."Next season the Sabres better not fail to show up for 60% of the season and they better not lose in the first round of the playoffs again. - Matt P. - Palmyra, NYIs that a threat, Matt? Ted Black don't take kindly to threats, you maggot! By the way, Matty P. here was ALL OVER every article I read. He should just start a Buffalo blog full of negative energy and hate and then....nevermind."Hodgson is the next Connolly as long as Ruff is the coach." - David C. - Rochester, NYHmmmm. Does he choke in the playoffs? Does he have brittle bones and a coke problem? How about enjoying fellatio from under-age teen girls on Chippewa or from dorky bloggers? Yes? Then this is a fair assessment, my friend.Follow me on twitter @TheScizz and tell me what an asshole I am. I also enjoy cyber-hugs!And check out our sexy new podcast page! The Deeg Industries!