And they DID.
Not much of anything good to say about the season, but man does this still put a huge smile on my face. Someone break out the champagne! - we have some cathartic, remaining casually apathetic celebrating to do!
This probably changes nothing in the long run - Ralph "Odious Taint" Wilson, Jr. remains the owner of our Buffalo Bills - but it feels great to revel in the end of the Chan Gailey era at One Bills Drive.
May the wind be ever at your back, dear Chan, and your tendency to over-use your goats and under-use your stars ever keep you out of the ranks of NFL coaches for the rest of your days.
Back from a pretty long hiatus, the Deeg is back with another CrapTastiCast, and it's one some of you have been waiting for since Mr. White and I exchanged words over the NHL Lockout in October
. We spoke about having Jeremy chat record with us at the time, but daddy duties and Hurricane recovery put this on the backburner until now.
Perhaps that delay was for the best since, in the month and a half that has followed that initial twitter fight (God I feel so stupid typing that), Jeremy and I have had a chance to talk more about the lockout. While I wouldn't say we've reached any kind of consensus on those issues that got me so heated in October, it's become apparent that Jeremy is a civil dude (not always readily apparent on twitter... which could be said about many) and that civility plays itself out on what you'll listen to here.
My apologies if you came here expecting nothing but our unbridled asshole shtick. Frankly, we care too much about the issues of the lockout to cave into our sophomoric tendencies - at least this time - especially when we have a guest willing to look beyond the fact that I may or may not have called him a equivocating hack/dickhole back in October. /rushes to delete Deeg archives /trips over beer cans /farts /forgets original task
Which isn't to say that this CrapTastiCast is entirely devoid of those tendencies you've come to know and love. Along for the ride are The Scizz and The Continental. In addition to the lockout, we talk Bills, Jets, Mets, Knicks and stumble through a few completely inappropriate conversations about drugs in closets and Scizz's love for our 43rd President.
If you're only interested in our talk with Jeremy, cue it to 15:55 and enjoy. Also - give yourself the finger from us since we think you should listen to the whole fucking thing.
In addition to our usual intro, Deeg house band The Jambrones help us out with our first two musical interludes, while the rest is picked up by Audioslave and Brother Ali. Podcast page here
. Direct download here
. iTunes link below or Subscribe via our RSS feed here.
And, of course, stream audio in the player below if you wish.
"I always make poor calls in the ballgame." - Actual Quote
I started writing this with the mindset that there wasn't anything new left to be said about this season. We all know what's gone horribly wrong in a season that started with so much hope. But a dread has crawled into my head and I'm having trouble shaking it.
The offense has become a total joke. Chan's play calling has rivaled some of the worst in Bills history and, Dear God, is that saying something. Fitz doesn't have the guts to stand up to him, let alone the mindset to have any consistency. C.J.'s too young to demand the carries he deserves. Stevie Johnson waited twelve weeks to vent the frustration we've seen brewing all season long, and even then only slightly. They seemingly have lost the will to win. For the second straight game, the embattled defense held their opponent under 21 points. There was a time not long ago when 21 points seemed easy for Fitz & Co. In those eight quarters, the Bills scored seven points on offense. Seven.
As I watched Chan call throw after throw after throw in a game they trailed by one touchdown, I thought to myself, so, this season is done. The relevancy is gone, right? No more "In The Hunt" graphics. The Bills stink. Chan needs to be fired. A new quarterback search must begin. Maybe a new GM while we're at it. Because there's no way they could string together enough victories together to… to…
He still has a chance to keep his job.
Well, that happened.
I don’t think my liver was really ready for that delightful mess of a game.
Defensive dominance? A special teams touchdown? Thrilling, last-minute interceptions? A 50/50 split of running and passing plays? Apologist buying round after round of preemptive victory shots, chased down by Lagunitas IPAs?
So. Much. Win.
As a new dad, and a Bills fan, I haven’t gotten many days or nights like that recently, and I’m not entirely sure I could handle it if one of my teams actually started to get good for once. I know the team is bad, and we’ll get to that, but fuck what a fun night.
Which isn’t to say it wasn’t ugly. After all, winning ugly – very ugly, mostly – appears to be the best we can reasonably expect from this enigma of a squad. But, after putting together one of their most complete games of the year in Foxboro this past week, only to fall short when it mattered, the Bills took an early lead at home and cherished it like the rare commodity that it is. They ran the ball often relative to their track record, relied on their best player to get them the points they needed – albeit via field goals – and made sure not to disappoint a home crowd itching to get that primetime monkey off its back.
It honestly shouldn’t have worked, seeing as they’re a garbage team coached by a garbage Chan and owned by a garbage taint, but it’s not like the Universe doesn’t owe us a game like that every once in a while. And even with the playoffs a supremely unlikely scenario for these Bills, a win is a win is a boy this team is not very good please god where is hockey?
Screw it.... On to the milquetoast takes!
no chance this is the actual screenshot of that line, mind you
Ah the bye week. The time to appreciate a break from the often frustrating squad we've been saddled with for these many years, to watch football with few rooting interests, and to perhaps forget about football altogether when life takes precedence as it so often does, whether in big ways or small.
This week was certainly no different.
But now that we're back to thinking about this underachieving and tragically coached Bills team, as it matches up against a hilariously superior Houston Texans squad, it's tough to find much of anything to be positive about. Perhaps the only real reason to be excited about this game is as a welcome opportunity to step away from the enormous and ongoing impact of a crazy as shit storm. Seems a good enough reason to me.
Scizz is taking a much needed break after his hell-ish week, and I'm luckily drunk enough to think I can fill his shoes, having sucked down a few Buffalo Lagers. Those lagers, unsurprisingly, assisting me in my belief that the Bills actually have a shot to win this game, or - put more accurately - my willingness to at least latch onto the infinitesimally small shot the Bills' actually have to win and cheer with a detached relationship with rational thought.
I would describe this as the "beers equal delightful sports fantasyland" paradigm. It's a working title.
Moving on to our feature presentation...
Checking out Jeremy White's twitter feed. Considering just quitting.
What a busy week it has been at DGWU Sports! Between news of the NHL Lockout and our battles with the various personalities at WGR for refusing, as is their custom, to engage with viewpoints other than (a) their own, or (b) those of the mouthbreathers who call into WGR and make it their mission to express their vehement disdain for everything in the world, there was a LOT to discuss when we gathered Wednesday night. More shots were fired and kindling put onto the world of Buffalo sports media so that we can continue to watch it burn. Heh. Sports.
Oh, and there are those Buffalo Bills, too, which is actually where we started in segment one as we recapped the shit show that was Sunday with the Deeg. Bills @ Cardinals was by no means an enjoyable time, but recapping the fun times we had and the trainwreck of a game ended up being pretty fun/depressing/rage-inducing.
In segment two we welcomed Colin Bruckel, one of the founders of TheHosers.com
, a site we have linked to for a while and which provides stellar insight about the legal issues surrounding professional hockey and, in particular, the CBA. Colin's assessment of the current CBA negotiations was as interesting and well-presented as any I've heard, and it is an understatement to say that we were lucky to have him on. I would note, however, that since our discussion took place before the NHLPA presented its own offers to the league (and before Bettman rejected them immediately), you'll want to keep an eye on his site for more hot legal takes. Or you could continue being ignorant and just keep listening to the superficialities of sports talk radio.
Segment three brings it back to our wheelhouse of inappropriateness and ill-conceived sports takes as we talk the USMNT's win on Tuesday, the NBA's new policy restricting pre-game celebrations, Apologist's suicidal ideations following the Orioles' elimination from the playoffs, and our predictions for the Bills/Titans game this weekend. I must add that we had intended to talk more about (read: make fun of) Shawne Merriman's return to Buffalo, but had to toss that to the back burner so we'd have time to talk about the more pressing issues of gloating about our intellectual superiority over talk radio hosts. It's a burden, really. In any event, I'm hopeful that Merriman's second tenure in the 716 will give us plenty of opportunities to point and laugh.
Musical interludes this week are provided by Broken Bells, Gov't Mule & REO Speedwagon, as well as - of course - The Jambrones.
Download here and stream below, or check out our Libsyn
page or iTunes button below where you can get all of our archived podcasts and subscribe for future hot, aural takes.
During the 2012 Buffalo Bills season, the Scizz will be writing weekly game previews that will hit your eye holes every Thursday night/Friday morning. If you've been a follower of the Deeg for a while, you may remember that last season featured previews inspired by "The Big Lebowski." This year, as voted by our loyal/psychotic/confused readers, "Super Troopers" has been chosen as the ongoing cinematic theme. After a quick rundown of the game, the rest of the post has been inspired by his idol, Drew Magary, and his weekly previews on Deadspin, and will provide you with some solid predictions (false) and other incredible insight you can only get here (so false). So sit back and enjoy the (shit)show.
Actual autographed photo being shopped on e-bay.
Well shit. Where to begin? As I correctly predicted last week, I was a total idiot for once again getting my hopes up for a Buffalo Bills football season. But then again, at least I kind of/sort of saw it coming and drank enough alcohol on Sunday to numb the pain.
Of course, Monday was a different story. Still exhausted from the copious amounts of beer/vodka/whiskey (and a random Jager Bomb) that was consumed, I was forced to recount the previous day's outcome. Ryan Fitzpatrick looks like hot garbage. The defensive line is NOT who we thought they were. The secondary is an absolute joke. And of course, the injury bug has already hit big, as Fred-Ex is out for at least three weeks and David Nelson is out for the year, in a position of need where the team was already extremely undermanned. OH THE JOYS OF FOOTBALL!!!
Yet I'm not here to continue to whine and complain about how shitty the team looked in week one. There is enough of that everywhere (with obvious good reason). No, these previews aren't recaps, they are about looking forward and enjoying football, which is the most awesome-est sport in the world. In fact, as I said to the Yachtsman earlier today, I can't fully write this team off yet. I just can't. Because really, who am I betting against? If the Bills continue to suck, then it's just another year where by week 10 I have my Sundays back. Cool. However, If the Bills bounce back and show some of that early season 2011 spark, then maybe, just maaaaaaaaybe these ass clowns can still pull it together and all hope won't be lost. Naturally, as a fan I prefer the latter, but at this point in my life, I'm just going to enjoy football season and hope for the best. Brace yourselves, the Scizz is trying to keep things positive! Check it out after the jump....
wait. was that racist?
While Yachtsman was busy putting a silly little hobbit in his place yesterday
, Joe Pinzone had me on his Talkamania podcast
and we talked a whole bunch about the Bills, Fitz, Mario, the shitty defense and our obsession with football players justifying the money someone else pays them.
For serious, it ran a little long, but that'll happen.
Sunday was bad. Really bad. But we're doing it again this weekend and the catharsis of chatting about these not-so-lovable losers is the best way to get me through the weekday doldrums and start to feel ok about sitting down for another potential ass-kicking.
Maybe I really am insane. Maybe the silly little hobbit was right. ... Nah, fuck it. Everything about everything I do is unassailable. All. Day. Long.
While you're listening to these spoken word hot takes, be sure to check out the litany of content over at Buffalo Wins.
Those are interesting points Mr. White, Mr. Schopp. In rebuttal, I would ask that you both blow me. Cheers.
Listen, I'm not a huge Chan Gailey fan. In the midst of my fantasies about what the Bills could be this year, there is more than enough of a realist in me, telling me that there are hordes of things wrong with this team and that at least some of those things fall directly on Chan's shoulders.
But, there's realism and then there's churlish pettiness. One merits a simple nod of the head, the other deserves a water balloon full of herpes.
Earlier today, the triggering event for many comments and criticisms to follow, Chan was quoted as saying that he expected to win every game this year. Better yet, let's get the whole quote, so that we're all on the same page: "If you don't expect it, something's wrong with you," Gailey said when asked about expecting his team to make the playoffs. "If you say, I hope we're just a little bit better than last year, you ought to get out. That's wrong. I expect to win every one of them. I expect to be undefeated."
Gailey, in charge of selling his players on the idea of winning, and in charge - at least partially - with convincing us fans that the team is in the winning business, gave us what we should all hope for in a head coach: Hope. He didn't coat it with the realism we Buffalonians seem to value; he didn't tell us the actual truth about what, if a gun was pointed to his head, he would bet on for the Bills' season record. Instead, he gave us what we need as sports fans -- a reason to watch; to see if he can prove himself right, even if we know that he can't possibly really believe it.
But, goddammit if those clowns at WGR don't want to make us all feel like knuckle-dragging morons for seeing the real truth behind Gailey's lie. Goddammit if those clowns don't want to express their intellectual superiority - as if there's something so fucking brilliant about pointing out that, clearly, the Bills will not go 16-0, duh - while making us feel just a little bit less than ourselves for getting behind Chan for speaking confidently about his team and his job.
Good lord, the contempt with which these ass clowns hold the plebeian Bills fans for whom they apparently speak is OUTRAGEOUS. Mr. White, Mr. Schopp, I'm not one for cheap shots - wait, yes I am - but you two, and many of your comrades over at WGR, are sanctimonious knob gobblers. With great power comes great responsibility, and fuck it if these guys don't consistently thumb their noses at the special place that they have in Buffalo sports media and the trust that we fans, in essence, have invested in them.I won't waste my time with the reasons Schopp and White put forth (apparently over the course of THREE HOURS on air today) about why they think Gailey was stupid or silly or out of his mind. As I noted above, logic tells us that Gailey probably doesn't believe that the Bills will win every game. And even if he does, logic can also tell us that there is a benefit to his statements apart from their truth.
Nay, I take umbrage with the way
that these guys went about this whole argument, and about how it turned into one big joke for them -- "Everyone look and laugh at the stupid fans who respect Gailey for what he said. They're Stoopid!!" While the real fans, and the real sentient beings amongst us, get that there is a difference between the truth a coach gives us in a presser and the actual truth
, Mr. Schopp and Mr. White are so adamant that we have to choose between the two; that we can't see the good sense in Gailey's comments without ignoring the fact that those comments are, in a sense, ridiculous; that we can't be sensible and realistic about the Bills chances without seeing the value in Gailey's simple act of speaking those ridiculous words out loud. While the twits at WGR are always telling us - over and over - about how they want to give us the "straight truth" about our sports teams, and about how it's about respecting us fans enough to give us that truth, they have today shown themselves to think so little of us that they can't possibly fathom that we understand that Gailey's comments will probably be shown to be faulty in the end - NO FUCKING WAY!! - but that we can, at the same time!, validly feel that he's right
to make those comments. Gailey loves our Bills (and his job), and he loves them enough to feed them a little (read: BIG) white lie, a lie that hurts no one except for the sensibilities of dumbass radio hosts who care more about semantics than the big picture. Who care more about being right than about increasing a fan's enjoyment of the sport.I'm not even really sure why all this bothers me so much. Of course, Mat
thew Stewart at Buffalo Wins already covered Schopp's douchebaggery earlier today
, and maybe that should be enough. But, on the eve of the season, maybe the only moment where Bills fans can allow themselves to swim in the depths of foolish hopes and dreams for the return of a winning franchise, our coach comes out and stands with us in that hope. And these dipshits, with their soapbox monopoly over the Buffalo sports airwaves, choose to poop all over it, and all over us who choose to stand behind Gailey in the shared hope of success in 2011 rather than wallowing in the likely reality of a failed Bills season. This is the same old-world mentality that shits on new ideas that might spark a rejuvenation in Western New York, constantly focused on the likelihood of failure rather than the chance of success. This is the same old-world mentality that pushes vibrant voices like Nick Mendola's off of the air, seemingly preferring a solidarity of thought, marketplace of ideas be damned. With so many voices across the blogosphere who speak with a wit and intelligence and variety that make WGR seem laughably quaint in its narrow-mindedness (as Matthew so much more eloquently put earlier today at Buffalo Wins), I think it important to join in the fray and let my intentions be known. So long as Buffalo sports radio is limited to the, largely, asshat population guiding the reigns at WGR, and so long as those clowns continue to make money off of local listenership while unpaid blogger minions routinely outperform them, I will continue to call foul on the status quo and hope for a day when Buffalo sports receives more adequate coverage and consideration by those that get paid to do it.Of course, by jumping into the fray - where Schopp and White live daily - I think it fair for people to disagree with me. Maybe even call out the hypocrisy of my calling foul on WGR after calling Tim Connolly-apologists idiots, for instance.
It's fair. Can't take faceless internet potshots without expecting a few in return. Either way, there's one thing that all of us can agree on, even if the guys at WGR want to make us feel a little like fools for doing so: Let's Go Buffalo.And now for a video that is, perhaps, more dramatic than is appropriate for this ultimately petty post. But, it certainly suits my mood, at least so long as I have the
growing urge to punch Mike Schopp in his ugly, unfortunate-looking face.
Follow me on Twitter. And the rest of the DGWU Crew, too.
I shall battle Irene with Dark 'n' Stormies. You all should, too.
It's been quiet here of late. The Scizz, typically dependable for frequent musings on the trashy side of sports and entertainment, was on vacation last week and into this one. He's truly blessed with good luck, as he'll get the chance to be hit by Irene twice as a result of these travels. Good job, buddy. Serves you right for your hiatus.
I, too, have been quiet, as I was forced into submission - finally - by the needs of my first trial this past week. I had the urge to write Tuesday night, inspired by the bizarre events of that afternoon... dramatically giving my closing argument only to feel the earth shake below us minutes later, leaving me with a lingering sense of wonder at how we, as people, choose to live our lives when confronted with a daily threat of diaster - both by acts of man and God (if you believe in that sort of thing...which I do sometimes, depening on the day). Without going into the entirety of those thoughts I was having after the quake while waiting for the jury to render its verdict, I do think it bears mentioning that it is truly something special that we so routinely choose to seek out shared moments of joy and hope through sport, even when a life of self-preservation above all else might be the smarter move. Smart we are not, but committed to seeking joy we always are.
In any event, the trial is now over and, victory in hand, I have opted to take today off and be productive with non-work-related things, including ending DGWU's lull in content. And, as New York City and the Atlantic Coast prepare for what may be one of the worst storms to hit this area in the past 50 years, Mother Nature provides a suitable theme to at least focus some of the thoughts going through my head as we enter the weekend.
Of course, I'll be talking about our Buffalo Bills.
I start with the news about Freddie Jackson. CHAN! BUDDY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?? I mean, Jesus H. Christ, I could not be more confused about the decisions coming out of the Buffalo Bills management and coaching staff these days. The season hasn't even started - a season no one expects to be successful anyway - and Chan, et al. have already gotten a full roster and full fanbase scratching their heads or worse. Reports this week that Freddie is uphappy and uncertain about his role, about his desire for a trade. Un-fucking-real.
“I feel like a No. 1 back, and I should be treated like one. As far as what’s going on, you would have to ask them. I’m going to come out here and compete. I feel like I have been competing. I feel like I have done everything I can. It’s been like that for two or three years, and nothing has changed.”
Freddie, you're right. Nothing has changed. Same old hapless Bills. Why would any of us excpect talent and productivity to be fairly and objectively evaluated? (Though, to be fair, Freddie's a #1 back on a shit football team. He's being treated like a #1 back on a shit football team, and that's part of the problem...but, I digress).
Listen, I get that CJ Spiller needs touches in preseason. In fact, I think it's completely appropriate that he gets most of the touches during preseason, because he needs some work. Everytime I see him run the ball, it's a disaster, and I figure it has to get better with work, right? But, with all that being the case, how is it that Chan hasn't made it abundantly clear to Freddie that he's the #1 RB? How is it that Tim Graham from the Buffalo News has heard that it's Spiller's job to lose? WTFFFFF. Even if CJ has a great preseason - which has already been shown not to be the case - the changing of the guard can't happen until he shows it during real games, and until that happens Freddie has to be your guy. He's been one of the only bright spots on this team over the past couple years, not to mention that he's a fan favorite and is one of the hardest working guys on the team. He has earned everything he's gotten in the league including the respect of everyone in that locker room - I mean, hell, I feel like I'm in crazy town that I even have to write this. Think back to those off-season, player-run workouts. Fredie was there, CJ was not. THAT MATTERS. If CJ is the future, fine, no argument. But why put the cart before the horse? Why not, at a mimimum, promise Freddie equal touches going into the season, as so many teams are successfully using multiple backs on individual Sundays these days?
This is turning into a serious morale issue, and it just shouldn't be. The only thing the Bills ever have to bank on is that they're underdogs who, despite being so overmatched in talent and skill, want it more than their opponent. With these reports coming out of camp, it looks like Chan might be losing that x-factor as well.
Contibuting to this is the fact that it comes on the heels of Lee Evans's trade to the Ravens. Honestly, I didn't mind this deal when it came down a couple weeks ago - Evans was barely productive last year and, while he was an asset in terms of drawing double coverage, I wanted to believe that this reason was not enough to keep him. However, after seeing the shit with Freddie this week, and after seeing Evans tear up the secondary in the Ravens' latest preseason game, my gut is telling me that Evans wasn't useless, he just wasn't being used. An under-utilized talent on the field, probably due in large part to the chemistry that Fitzpatrick and Stevie Johnson had developed in their second team roles on the practice squad, it may soon become apparent that the issue with Evans was not his waning effecitiveness on the field, but the Bills' waning effectiveness in getting him the goddamn ball. If Evans has a decent year - 10 touchdowns, say - it will prove what the rest of the league knows about Buffalo...that this Bills team is an embarassment. And, as soon as that happens, the players in the locker room will start to feel it, too. What we all want to be a two or three year project will get extended yet again, and we may not see a playoff team for five years or more.
Like many Bills fans, I was really looking forward to this season. I liked what Chan Gailey did last year, and I thought the team had a pretty good draft. Things were looking up. These days, though, I'm yearning for those days of locked out football when we didn't have to dread another season of embarassment for our team, our fanbase and our City.
Let's Go Buffalo?