When there's something strange....in the neighborhood.....
Guess who's back? Back Again. Guess who's back? TELL A FRIEND!
Due to popular demand and my own sheer boredom, welcome to the third installment of Buffalo Sabres: Where Are They Now?
If you are new to DGWU Sports in the last year, this all started as a dumb hashtag on twitter when I was bored at home on a Sunday night. Well, it's Tuesday morning, work is slow, and I compiled a nice little list with the help of some friends on the tweet machine. Enjoy yourself and start thinking up ideas to tweet me
for "2012 - Part 2." Oh yeah, and you can read the last year's two installments here
Ville Leino: Somewhere in Finland, diving into a pile of cash like Scrooge McDuck, except missing five feet wide and yet still laughing maniacally.
(assist from @JG_1611
Tim Kennedy: Filling out an application to be groundskeeper at Patrick Kane's new house in Hamburg. - from @Boner_Shorts
Dominic Hasek: Working out for his big comeback. This involves vodka, pilates, vodka, 117 cortisone injections, and vodka.
Pat Lafontaine: Staring at a picture of himself staring at a picture of himself staring at himself in a mirror. - from the Barrister
Jason Botterill: Laughing at Sabres fans on twitter who thought a Roy for J. Staal trade would actually ever happen.
Chris Butler: Still being fucking terrible at hockey somewhere.
This smells of the poop triangle.
Robyn Regehr: Staring at the living room wall while chewing a rock. - from @Boner_Shorts
Shaone Morrisonn: Taking his talents to Южная Бич. And by talents I mean the extra n in his last name.
Tom Golisano: Wondering how his bid for the Dodgers didn't win - Free payroll service & a coupon to Quiznos - from @JG_1611
Steve Bernier: Hanging out with his new friends Scott Norwood, Bill Buckner, and Greg Norman.
Somebody needs another.
Jason Pominville: Sitting in an empty locker room, rocking back and forth repeating "You're not Craig Rivet. You're not Craig Rivet" to himself over & over again.
Tyler Ennis: Auditioning for part of Crutchy in the touring production of Newsies. - from the Barrister
Taro Tsujimoto: Whereabouts unknown, but still better than Mike Weber.
Book it. Follow me @TheScizz
and feel free to leave other #WhereAreTheyNow ideas
in the comment section. Go Sabres?
Season ticket holders at the Aud: Still nursing chronic knee and back injuries.
Due to the popularity of the first "Where Are They Now" post, and the sheer enjoyment I got out of writing it, I have decided to come back for round two. There are plenty more former and current Buffalo Sabres personailities that we all need to catch up on. I have searched far and wide and even enlisted the help of other Buffalo bloggers in order to bring you the whereabouts and actions of these men. You should know how professional I am after listening the latest CrapTastiCast
. Remember, everything in this post is 100% factual because DGWU only reports the TRUTH! If you have any new leads, please fight the good fight and leave them in the comment section.
BUY ME OUT!
J.P. Dumont: Stomping his feet and asking himself how the fuck Kotalik pulled that one off!?!
Dave Hannan: Agonizing wife at the dinner table with 1080th recounting of the goal against NJ -Scotty from BSN
Head server, here I come!
Chris Butler: Arguing with a sales rep at U-Haul on Transit Road over price of a 24 foot truck, one-way to Calgary. The words "what do you mean you don't know who I am" were uttered.
I should have known when the e-mail said ZubrusSucks@gmail.com
Jiri Novotny: Just e-mailed me to ask if he can be in the next "Where Are They Now" post.
Mike Wilson: Slowest windup in the sanitation engineer industry. - Scotty from BSN
Jean Luc Grand-Pierre: Losing his MMA debut. Threw fury of punches that hit no one, fell, and tapped out to a basic arm bar in .3 seconds.
Ted Nolan: Still banging Hasek's wife. -The Yachtsman
I still want him on the fourth line!!!
How YOU doin'?
Ted Black: Shamelessly flirting with female bloggers....and some male ones too.
Rory Fitzpatrick: Currently ranked #3 in voting on Canadian Idol. Bryan Adams and Tom Cochrane are PISSED.
John Rigas: Spending a day in solitary for refusing to eat his prunes. -Scotty from BSN (I also had one written but it was way more inappropriate...use your imagination)
We are on to you Reegs!
Darcy Regier: Posing as @FakeDarcy on twitter to throw us off his trail.
Besides being a well-known critic, I'm pretty sure this guy is required by law to inform you when he moves into your neighborhood.
On Saturday the DGWU crew (and Joe!
) recorded our newest episode of the CrapTastiCast
. We then proceded to drink high alcohol-content beers for several hours. I of course followed this up by returning home, drinking more, and then returning to Manhattan with the Yachtsman for more booze partaking. Needless to say on Sunday I was battling a vicious hangover. With my body destroyed and nothing to, I decided to watch some movie trailers online. After watching seven or eight of the blockbusters that are sure to make this summer both very lucrative and nerd-filled, an idea popped in my head. What if there was away I could combine two of my dearest passions? No, not Cadbury Cream Eggs and flash frying (hint: that has already been done, and it is amazing
). I’m talking about summer movies and the Buffalo Sabres. Both are highly entertaining, force me to fill myself with unhealthy food and drink, and in the end, mostly infuriate me. Thus this un-educated brainchild was born. Each movie’s title and release date will be followed by the trailer, and then the best corresponding Sabres personality. I also decided to split the review into four separate sections; May today, with June, July, and August following in the next couple of weeks. Welcome to the Scizz Summer Movie Preview: Sabres Edition - May 2011
Thor - May 6th
I realize this film has been out for almost two weeks now, but it is still killing it at the box office and I have yet to see it. Thor, of course is based on the Marvel comic and is the story of an Asgardian God that has been exiled from his home to Earth. There, he must help a hot-ass Natalie Portman to save the world. Who else better than Tyler Myers fits the role of a hammer-wielding God of thunder put in charge of saving the day? Psycho T landed on planet Buffalo in 2010 and we immediately saw a guy that could help win the Cup (aka save the world). He is developing before our eyes
and already plays like a superhero. Plus Thor has to battle ugly ice giants and that only led to one thought; Zdeno Chara, anyone?
Bridesmaids - May 13th
I know what you are thinking. “How dare you compare Nathan Gerbe to a movie all about women in dresses!!!”, but please hear me out. I have heard nothing but amazing things about this film. Apparently at the genius direction of Paul Feig and the acting of SNL member Kristen Wiig, they created a piece of work that is not what it seemed to many of us at first sight. It is a wedding movie with a mostly female cast that has the comedy style of Old School and Hangover, even though it appears to be a chick flick on the surface. Now how many of you last season thought Nathan Gerbe was just an undersized player that would never be a fan favorite or emotional team leader? SEE! The little guy may not look like a big, bruising star but when he amps up, fans go nuts and he can the push team to victory (see spin-o-rama on 4/8/2011
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - May 20th
I look to the famous Johnny Depp character of Captain Jack Sparrow for this comparison. Although not a captain (yet), Roysie was an alternate and is definitely considered a team leader. Before he went down this season he was having a career year and was considered by many to be one of the only players on the team that appeared to give a shit. Cap’n Jack also has a certain cockiness and flamboyance that reminds me of Roysie during his now infamous and bizarre nights on Chippewa
. Plus, I have always said that if I could party with a celebrity, it would be Depp, and if I have a choice to hit the town with a Buffalo Sabre, you better believe it will be with this Kangol hat wearing sunovabitch!
The Hangover Part 2 - May 26th
There. I finally said his name again. Much like the first film, Hangover Part 2 involves a group of friends getting hammered and trying to remember the night before? This is exactly how I feel about Butler after watching his playoff performance. I keep trying to remember all the good stuff he did at the end of the regular season, but it has proven to be quite difficult. I am continually searching for clues about what exactly happened that may have turned him into the doorstep of that first round series. Speaking of which, if anyone happens to know if Dmitri Kalinin was seen around Buffalo or Philadelphia from April 14 - 26, please contact @TheScizz
That does it for the May round of the Summer preview. Check back in the next few days for my look at the films of June and the Sabres that best represent them. I'll deal with mutants, cosmic heroes, government secrets, and a comedic woman....and then I'll write about the movies! ZING!
As I sit here in a dome of absolute sadness and depression due to the fact that I will be in Philly today at 5pm, but not at the game, I am attempting to absorb as much Sabres knowledge as I possibly can. I was not planning on posting anything this morning besides a reminder for a meet-up of the game watch tonight (information forthcoming), but Bucky Gleason has a fantastic article up this morning on defenseman Chris Butler
that I needed to comment on.
It has been easy to dismiss Butler as yet another young defenseman the Sabres have brought up through the system that could simply not cut it. They possibly showed some potential, but never achieved at the level that us fans thought we were going to see. I'm not so much talking about someone like Dmitri Kalinin (seriously, fuck him though), but more so names like Funk, Card, and Paetsch. On a higher level, and I know I'll take some major flack for this, I also mean names like Weber, Sekera, and Gragnani (Yes I understand they are all playing well now, but you cannot tell me that not one of these players hasn't sent you into fits over the past several seasons). These are all draft picks that came up through Rochester or Portland that never seemed to make their mark. That's why when Tyler Myers busted through door the last season, we were all giddy as hell. The Sabres FINALLY had a young, sure-thing defenseman.
Eat shit Charo
The thing is, I absolutely thought Butler had the potential to be a top defenseman in the league. During his rookie year in 2008-09, he didn't put up many points, but he was a +11 in 47 games and he skated hard every game I saw him in. In an odd way, he reminded me a bit of Jay McKee. Then to start the 2009-10 season, he was playing lights out. Myers was the major story, but I am assuming that many of you, like me, noticed that Butler was making a nice little mark for himself. In fact, ESPN put out a story a few weeks into the season naming the top 75 defensemen in the NHL. No surprise, Buffalo had a big ZERO on the list. However, at the end of the article, there was an addendum naming Myers and Butler number 76 and 77. Myers AND Butler. To open the season, he was playing well enough to get that type of national attention. (By the way, if you can find a link to that article, please leave it in the comments or e-mail us. I scoured the internet trying to find it, but so far no luck.)
The rest of the season was not fantastic for CB. He ended up a -15 and those healthy scratches that have been so common this season, were starting to rear their ugly head. Butler had fallen off, and I started to get the feeling he was going to end up falling off the roster altogether, with young defenseman like T.J. Brennan and Drew Schiestel coming through the system. I simply felt disappointed. Another young player that I had so much hope for was sucking hard AGAIN. But if you read anything I write, or know me in person, I do not have much patience. These defensemen are all young guys trying to make a mark, and as Bucky notes, even Brian Campbell went through some major growing pains before he became the star we all knew and loved. I'm hoping that the Chris Butler that is playing now, is the guy that will be around for years to come. This pairing of Myers and CB is something special. Then again, I'm no expert. In my younger years I once uttered the words, "Taylor Pyatt is a future All-Star". Forgive me Lindy, for I'm a douche-bag.
I'm sorry! I will never question you again, sir!