Apologist and Barrister, feat. The Continental
Oh dear. Craft beers. Whiskey. Vanishing dignity.
You may be aware that Apologist and I recently rendez-vous'd (not a word) for the Bills game Thursday night, using the time out at the bar as a perfect opportunity to revive the little-known Legal Limit podcast franchise. You also may be aware that new-to-the-Deeg Continental - of Smarten Up! mailbag fame - joined us, making her podcast debut.
You probably wouldn't have predicted this level of shit show, though. Good good, we are terrible. Actually, really, just the Barrister. He was most definitely over the legal limit, right guys? ... I'll show myself out.
We talk Bills/Dolphins, of course, but also take potshots at Al Gore, celebrate the Knicks move to 6-0 against the Spurs, talk about how the NBA may pick up disgruntled hockey fans during the lockout, commiserate Ryan Fitzpatrick's role in Bills franchise history, laugh about blunts and guns, and then bump into some Hurricane Sandy refugee Chicago Bears fans who happen to also love the Miami Heat. I'd claim it all makes sense in the end, but it most surely does not. Luckily, I'm pretty sure it's about what you've all come to expect from this embarrassment of a website.
Musical interludes include Jefferson Airplane, Oddisee, Bob Dylan and The Beastie Boys.
Stream below, download here
, via the iTunes button below, or on our podcast page here
For the last few weeks, I’ve been chomping at the bit for something to get worked up about and post about. I mean it doesn’t take much, but I’ve found the current storylines swirling around here in Buffalo have been so meaningless, so trivial, that to try and put some 1,000 word diatribe about them would be so transparently fraudulent - not to mention really difficult for me to do - that it would frankly unbecoming of me. I don’t have many standards when it comes to what I’ll write about, but faux-outrage (copyright: national media, November 2011) - or blatant trolling if you will - is the lowest point of blogging you can reach (Ed. Note: We've all been there). I’d rather read hot takes on what the French Connection statue should look like, or an in-depth post on whoever the other punter in Bills camp is. Vince Young? Who cares? Tarvaris Jackson? Ditto. The NHL lockout? That’ll be worth discussion in a month, when the first slew of games have been cancelled but for now, the two sides are speaking so far past each other they can’t even bother being insulted, and neither should we. Shane Doan? My once raging doaner is now flaccid and sad.
The one place I didn’t expect to provide inspiration was my baseball team, the pitiful (go ahead, drink that word in) Boston Red Sox. I wrote about them
some thirty games into the season (respectful post on the Youk notwithstanding
) and until a week or so ago, nothing had changed. They still sucked ass, their roster was still filled with a bunch of egomaniacal tools and, frankly, why subject you, our refined readers, to Red Sox garbage when this baseball season has been so captivating otherwise. God knows you’ve had enough shoved down your throat by ESPN about Pedroia v. Bobby V
, and “can they turn it around” crap that attempted to take you away from the Pirates (!?!), the Nats (!!), the A’s (!!) and R.A. Dickey
that I felt no need to pile on. You deserve a summer without Red Sox talk, and with the team wallowing in mediocrity, what better summer than this one?
Are you fucking serious?
Lost in the haze of last night's epic USMNT win at the Azteca was the circus, clown shoes shenanigans of Dusty Baker, as the Reds manager chose gamesmanship over common sense, and gave Mets fans another reason to hate his stupid, fat face.
Up 1-0 in the second inning against my lowly Mets, Baker successfully prodded the umpire to instruct RA Dickey to remove two bracelets from his wrist. Two bracelets that had been given to him by his daughters before he climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro last winter, and which he has worn in every one of his magical starts this season - not to mention his All Star Game innings earlier this summer. Dickey complied - how couldn't he - later conceding that, well, rules are rules. Dickey would go on to give up three homers and the Mets lost 6-1.
Advantage DB, I guess.
Congrats! You are a Bills fan! Everyone loses!!!
It has been awhile since I posted my last QB suckitude rant
, so sticking with the theme of controversy that has engulfed this site over the past week, I might as well jump into one of the biggest in-fighting arguments among fans to ever hit One Bills Drive; Doug Flutie Vs. Rob Johnson.There are several key points that need to be discussed about this so-called "rivalry". First of all, it has to be considered one of the saddest QB controversies of all-time. While New England had Brady/Bledsoe and San Diego had Brees/Rivers, the Bills had a 40 year-old CFL player and and a completely unproven kid with no starting experience. At this point I would have killed for a Simms/Hostetler. I have always said since then, that no matter what side of the rivalry you were on, everyone lost. Neither player was ever the answer to the Bills' QB future. You want to argue which one was better for them in the "now"? Go right ahead, but to say either one was the future leader of the franchise means that you are strictly insane and should go back to starting your Casey Anthony fan-club.Second, and I know I'm going to take a ton of shit from the rest of the crew for this one, but I was a Rob Johnson guy. Yup. There it is. First step is admitting your problem. Let me make it perfectly clear though. I never hated Flutie. I loved the guy and like everyone else in Buffalo I had several hundred boxes of Flutie Flakes stored away (seriously, people treated those things like rare currency). My obsession at the time was about the previously mentioned "future" of the franchise. Despite never winning a Super Bowl, the Buffalo teams of the 90's had spoiled me. I was used to that team winning all the time and after the fail that was Todd Collins, I needed a new Jim Kelly. Forget that the Bills were a playoff team in 1999, I was only thinking about the next four years of Super Bowl runs and MVP trophies for my new quarterback. As I have said many times before, Jim Kelly was and still is my favorite player, and the cockiness that Rob Johnson displayed may have reminded me a bit of 'ole Jimbo. Of course I confused cockiness with pure douche-baggery. What can I say? I was a dumb, immature college Freshman and I wanted Rob Johnson to be the man SO badly. I was convinced that this "upside" you kept hearing about on ESPN would lead the franchise to the promise-land. I was so convinced that I was totally O.K. with Buffalo BENCHING the guy who got them to the playoffs in the first place, Flutie. In retrospect I realize what a total idiot I was and writing this is a bit cathartic. HOWEVER, do not tell me that if Flutie started that game against Tennessee that Buffalo would have won. That is an argument for Mom's and and the old drunk guy at the end of the bar who doesn't know who Gale Gilbert is. FACT.
How could I have possibly thought that this guy was the future of the organization? Ugh.
But now I'm getting off-track, so let's go to the numbers.
Johnson: Record: 9 - 17 Rating: 85.8 Yds: 4798 Comp. %: 60.5 TD: 27 INT: 17
There are a couple of interesting things to think about as you look at those numbers. The record first and foremost shows his total ineptitude as a leader. No matter what talents he had, he could not win games, and much of this has to do with a category that I didn't include. Sacks and hurries. Johnson was constantly holding on to the ball too long or leaving the pocket too early. He was J.P. Losman before J.P. Losman was.
What always gets me is that stupid QB rating. Of all quarterbacks since #12, nobody touches Johnson in that category. In fact, if you take away the win/loss record and look at the rest of those numbers, they look pretty solid for a starter. Not amazing, but better than most of the shit we have had to deal with over the past 10 years. Then there are Flutie's numbers:
Flutie: Record: 21 -9 Rating: 81.7 Yds: 7582 Comp. %: 56.3 TD: 47 INT: 30
Not bad. Especially that record. Flutie found ways to win games and Johnson found ways to lose them. Again, the 2000 playoff game was not left in his hands in the final moments, but besides that, Johnson could not close on his own. Flutie was the guy people played for and Rob Johnson was the arrogant guy who felt self-entitled and pushed players away. Now of course as always, these are sweeping generalizations that have become pretty common on this site, but you have to know what I mean. For example, every single picture I found on google images of Rob Johnson made me want to punch him in the neck. Whereas with Flutie, no douchey pictures at all.
Alright maybe one. But as you look at Flutie's numbers it is obvious that he was the most successful QB after Jim Kelly. I will not argue with that. I wish that I would have seen things that way back in 1999 and lived in the moment instead of imagining championships that would never be. I will stand pat on my argument that Flutie was NOT the future. Not saying that Robbie Jo-Jo was either, but its not like Flutie went on to dominate elsewhere. In four seasons as a San Diego Charger he went 8-14, including that awful 5-11 year in 2001 as the full-time starter. He became a solid go to back-up, but Doug Flutie was never a guy that was going to hoist the Lombardi trophy above his head as a Buffalo Bill. First of all it is way to heavy for him, and second, that was what Drew Bledsoe was for....oh wait.
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Sorry folks, but this is going to be one of those "nothing to do with Buffalo" posts. I just had to throw this up because I think it is absolutely amazing.
For those of you who don't check out any sports websites/blogs on a daily basis, you may have missed highlights from the first episode of "Joe Buck Live" on HBO. Who the fuck could make you care about watching highlights from a live show from Captain Douchebag himself, Joe Buck, you ask?
Artie Lange. That's who.
The ScizzHe admits a mistake, but in a incredibly douchey, backhanded, and arrogant way
. Also, he is still a giant loser.
I'm in full 8 year-old manner, pointing and laughing at him. Join me, will you? I assure you it happens to him frequently.[Editor's Note: To enjoy the Scizz's original thrashing of John Hopkins, click here.]
Welcome folks, to a new weekly feature here at DGWUS.... High Character Fridays!
Remember when Marv said he was bringing in high character players? Yeah, us too. Listen, we here at DGWUS loooove us some Marv Levy, but that whole process hasn't panned out too well. First, Marshawn decided to show us his excellent driving ability. 9 months later, he displayed his support of the N.R.A. In between those incidents, there was Ko simply being an asshole, followed by our beloved captain Donte Whitner doing his best Andrew Meyer impression.
The Scizz has been on me all week to finish the Draft grades I promised our dear reader(s?) this past weekend. I sat in front of the computer after work every night and tried to come up with things to say about our new picks and I simply couldn't muster the strength.
The spirit did not move me to write anything... I simply don't trust the BrainMush @ One Bills Drive to do anything right anymore. Why waste your time and mine trying to sugarcoat another shitty draft? We picked three DBs, passed on a proven stud d-lineman for a skinnier/riskier Aaron Schobel, and reached on a couple linemen who could have been picked much later in the draft. That's what's been running around my head these past few days, so there you have it. Allen Wilson, I am not.
However, it's not like I don't have something to bitch about at length. Being a Buffalo Sports fan, I'll always have something to bitch about. And yes, something has been bothering me for quite some time. It's this guy:
Larry Fucking Quinn.
I'M KO SIMPSON WITH THE BUFFALO BILLS!!!!!!! I AM WORTH MILLIONS!!!!! And apparently they are trying to unload my DUMB-ASS.