Professional Blowhard The Barrister
It sure has been a while since I dusted off my gloves and took the media to task for its latest absurdity in the sports world. Sometimes, these venomous hit jobs are directed at The Network - an easy enough target, what with the willingness to sit on apparent evidence of child molestation at Syracuse, only to run the story without even giving the authorities the opportunity to vet that evidence and find that, in sum, it was demonstrably false. And sometimes, these hit jobs are directed at Buffalo sports media - also an easy target, what with the spelling errors, the apparent desire to merely yuk it up with a failing, entrenched hockey coach and the pathetic derision of a blogger community which has arguably provided better and more insightful sports analysis over the past couple years. (Not here at the Deeg, of course. We are more than happy to be the slime scraped out of the bottom of the barrel, presented as food for your more carnal cravings. It's what we do.)
One of the things I've noticed about Buffalo sports fans is that they can tend to believe that their town is getting jobbed at every opportunity. It's certainly no surprise, given the history, but it can leave people with a lingering sense that, in essence, whatever we get in Buffalo is a class below what everyone else gets in other cities. Sports teams? Inferior from top to bottom. Local theater and music? Undeveloped and of poor quality. Government? Corrupt and ineffective in a way unseen throughout America. Schools? Underfunded and forgotten. Cheerleaders? Sixes instead of tens. (This one may be right).
Some of this is true. In many ways, other cities do have it better. In a lot of ways, though, Buffalo has the exact same problems as other cities, but has convinced itself that the grass is greener in New York City, in Boston, in D.C., in Philly. I've found this to be especially true when it comes to how we digest our local sports media in Western New York. There always seems to be a lingering sense that Bucky and Harrington and Hamilton and Sully are on a lower tier than the guys who cover sports in the big markets. With the internet, though, we can verify that this is simply not true, and never was this more apparent to me than during the post-game presser following last Friday's Rangers-Devils Game 6.
Dear God, it was brutal.
So, in keeping with the overlap between "media hit piece" and "mailing it in," here is the transcript of the questions asked to Rangers coach John Tortorella following Game 6. My thoughts are in italics.
 People listen to this guy every afternoon on the radio. For reals. His name is 'The Bulldog'. In no way is that ironic. The Yachtsman
I wanted to go on a rant about how awful the "established" Buffalo Sports Media is, namely WGR & The Buffalo News. However, while I was digging through the interwebs looking for classic title pics like the one above, I came across a treasure trove of images that were just too awesome to pass up. I feel like I should also explain what my fandom tastes and feels like today, because Aps put it so poetically last time, and I am incapable of original thought. I also hope to dash whatever literary expectations you may have held for this site.
 John Vogl, you are not a hockey player. Put down the stick. Also, please check your goat at the door.
The Scizz
Sorry folks, but this is going to be one of those "nothing to do with Buffalo" posts. I just had to throw this up because I think it is absolutely amazing.
For those of you who don't check out any sports websites/blogs on a daily basis, you may have missed highlights from the first episode of "Joe Buck Live" on HBO. Who the fuck could make you care about watching highlights from a live show from Captain Douchebag himself, Joe Buck, you ask? Artie Lange. That's who.
The ScizzHe admits a mistake, but in a incredibly douchey, backhanded, and arrogant way. Also, he is still a giant loser. I'm in full 8 year-old manner, pointing and laughing at him. Join me, will you? I assure you it happens to him frequently. [Editor's Note: To enjoy the Scizz's original thrashing of John Hopkins, click here.]
The Scizz
The 2009 Buffalo Bills now get coverage from ESPN over irrelevant and useless stories! Just like the Jets, Giants, Dolphins, Cowboys, and Patriots! Thanks Terrell.
Last year, McGee could have been covering Josh Reed and suddenly fell into a hidden cavern, found a map to the Lost City of Atlantis, fought off evil gargoyles sworn to protect the secret, and emerged with golden wings & green horns, AND ESPN STILL would have thought twice about running the story.
But then again, falling down and hurting your shoulder with absolutely no severity is pretty important too.
The Scizz
We haven't had a solid, angry post here at DGWUS in awhile, probably because the Yachtsman has been busy, so here we go:
Some asshole named John Hopkins wrote a terribly misinformed, factual error filled, and just simply awful column for the Tonawanda News, which you can read for yourself here.
I hate to give this douch-bag more attention than he deserves, especially since it is painfully obvious he only wrote it to get noticed by someone other than his immediate family, co-workers, and the gangly red-headed hooker who works outside the casino Tuesday nights (I hope he gets checked out), but DGWUS has to say something.
The Yachtsman
Typically, we here at DGWU like to lay off the other two sports in the Big Four, because writing about Buffalo Sports is taxing enough. However, today, the infuriation levels aboard the Yachtsman's S.S. Bitch About are at an all-month high.
The direction of my bitchiness? Selena Roberts, shitty female sports reporter extraordinaire:
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