no chance this is the actual screenshot of that line, mind you
Ah the bye week. The time to appreciate a break from the often frustrating squad we've been saddled with for these many years, to watch football with few rooting interests, and to perhaps forget about football altogether when life takes precedence as it so often does, whether in big ways or small.
This week was certainly no different.
But now that we're back to thinking about this underachieving and tragically coached Bills team, as it matches up against a hilariously superior Houston Texans squad, it's tough to find much of anything to be positive about. Perhaps the only real reason to be excited about this game is as a welcome opportunity to step away from the enormous and ongoing impact of a crazy as shit storm. Seems a good enough reason to me.
Scizz is taking a much needed break after his hell-ish week, and I'm luckily drunk enough to think I can fill his shoes, having sucked down a few Buffalo Lagers. Those lagers, unsurprisingly, assisting me in my belief that the Bills actually have a shot to win this game, or - put more accurately - my willingness to at least latch onto the infinitesimally small shot the Bills' actually have to win and cheer with a detached relationship with rational thought.
I would describe this as the "beers equal delightful sports fantasyland" paradigm. It's a working title.
Moving on to our feature presentation...
i miss steroids.
The Barrister, feat. Scizz, Outlander and the Apologist
Shawne Merriman. No longer a Buffalo Bill.
Coming off a long and tiring weekend of prep for the birth of my child, I was considering penning a piece on fatherhood and sports and my anxiety level and my fear of becoming a shell of my former self once the sleep deprivation hits. I may still get into that at some point before or soon after Baby Barrister makes his way into the world, but not today.
Ripping on a has-been/maybe-never-would-have-been-without-the-juice and the similarly has-been/maybe-never-would-have-been-without-the-Juice-or-Jimbo team that employed him is way more fun. See what I did there? It’s only Monday and I’m already bringing the awesome.
Science made Merriman a great player. And science probably should have told One Bills Drive that Merriman couldn’t be a great player after being robbed of his special sauce and the behemoth abilities it brought him. Steroids help with recovery time, avoiding injuries, getting unreasonably huge. Without them, Merriman showed himself to be incapable of keeping up with the game. His “Lights Out” dances seem delightfully quaint now, like a high school player celebrating his dominance against a ten year old kid half his size. You didn’t earn it, Shawne, and you couldn’t hack it when the playing field was leveled. The Bills, for their part, look not just a little bit like they're wiping a $3 million egg off their face. Ugh.
Did I say “delightfully quaint?” ... I meant “utterly pathetic.”
Our New Theme Song!!
The Apologist and The Barrister (feat. Megsie & the Yachtsman)
Well folks, we've never claimed to be timely in our posting of audio opinion material here at the Deeg, and this is no different. If you want timeliness of our opinions, start paying us money and we'll get right on that.
Monday night (yes, the Monday night that is nearly a week ago at this point), fresh off my week in Boston for another Bar Exam (Bad Decision #1), I was eager to convince Apologist to join be in a Sabres-Jets rendezbooze at Kelly's Sports Bar of Lower East Side fame (Bad Decision #2). Ever willing to please (aHEM!), Aps got his shift covered at work and we were a go for another night of hockey-related bad decision-making. Along for the ride was Yachter who, while typically unwilling to risk exposure to all sorts of bacteria and viruses at Kelly's, was suddenly down to cheer our Sabres on to that 8th place spot in the East (Bad Decision #3).
Cat = Buffalo GMs / Bird = Super Bowl
Alright, alright. We've had soccer and basketball posts with veiled references to Buffalo this week, but enough is enough. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed both the Yachtsman's
posts as much as the next guy, but now it's time for some more direct self-loathing. With the NFL rookie combine wrapping up, I have decided to go directly to one of the main sources that has caused us all so much pain the last several years: the Buffalo Bills' drafts since 2002. Now dissecting and examining every Bills' draft of the last 9 years would make for a very long blog post, as well as send me into a deep depression that may force me to run full speed into a brick wall, so I have decided to make this a series of posts. Let's begin.
Mr. Bad Decison, Tom Donahoe
You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday? / Is this a... what day is this?
Yes, I blew it already. It only took a few days for me to fall behind and for that loyal readers (do we have loyal readers yet?), I apologize. To be fair, this has all happened so fast.
It seems like only a week ago that the Yachtsman, Scizz and I were three sheets to the wind in a midtown bar throwing around the idea of "getting the band back together" and relaunching the blog. So of course I said, "SURE! I can get a post up by Monday!"
But enough about that. The best way to restart this all seems like to recap where I am as a fan these days. Why? Well, my last post was almost a year and a half ago. Plus, I am one of my favorite topics.
Hi! How are you today? Guess what? The Buffalo Bills just released their starting left tackle
, and 2nd year player, Demetrius Bell, is going to start "cold" against New England Monday night.
Dear God. I just threw up in my mouth a little. And you thought Trent Edwards had confidence issues before this...
Please enjoy this video of Mr. Bell's estranged father. Laughter heals everything. Except for the injuries caused by a vomit-inducing offensive line.
Mair To Miss Start of Regular Season
This story is slightly stale, but it had gone unreported thus far here on DGWUSports.
Last Thursday it was announced that forward Adam Mair
will be out a minimum of 6 weeks after having arthroscopic hip surgery. The Sabres say the surgery was successful
, but this translates to him completely missing training camp and at least part of the start of the season.
Obviously this is not a huge loss going into the beginning of the season. However, it is unfortunate for Mair, who statistically is coming off one of his most successful seasons in the NHL with eight goals and eleven assists. Plus, with the influx of Darcy's one-year bruisers and the rookie forwards coming up the pipeline, Mair's spot on the roster is not guaranteed when he's healthy enough to return.
I'm on my way out to do some solid drinking on this lovely evening in NYC, but here is the list of the Bills' cuts, per Tim Graham on the Bills message board:
QB Matt Baker
LB Alvin Bowen
DE Copeland Bryan
OL Kirk Chambers
TE Tyson DeVree
DE Ataefiok Etukeren
OL Christian Gaddis
RB Bruce Hall
DB Cary Harris
WR C.J. Hawthorne
OL Nick Hennessey
WR Felton Huggins
DT Derrick Jones
DT Corey Mace
LB Ryan Manalac
RB Dominic Rhodes
TE Jonathan Stupar
Biggest surprises/disappointments for me are Stupar, Bryan, and Chambers. But who knows? Take care everybody and enjoy your Labor Day weekend!
Yesterday, the Buffalo Bills traded safety Ko Simpson
to the Detroit Lions for an undisclosed draft pick in 2010. Mark Gaughan & Allen Wilson of the Buffalo News
presume it will most likely be a seventh round pick. I presume the Bills will use that pick, along with many others, on more DBs who won't amount to much either.
While the 'Million Dollar Man's' career has provided humor over the last few years, it hasn't produced much on the football field. Simpson finishes his career (for now) as a Bill with 4 pass deflections, 2 interceptions, and 1 sack over two full seasons. Unfortunately for Ko, his 2007 season was nullified by a ankle injury in week one.
Simpson was a member of the fabled 2006 draft class of the Buffalo Bills. We all remember this as Marv's first year. Levy, Brandon and Co. took Ko fourth overall and quickly moved him up the depth chart past an aging Troy Vincent.
Now, you wouldn't know this, but the Yachtsman and I have a game we like to play involving the Bills' drafts. I guess it's not so much a game as an activity. We like to go back and look at where underwhelming players the Bills have drafted, developed and cut loose were selected, then see who was picked up later in the draft.
As I predicted yesterday on this site
, the Buffalo Bills have released veteran RB Dominic Rhodes
. He has been less than mediocre all summer and young guys like Xavier Omon and Bruce Hall have been working their tails off.
Stay tuned for more as other releases are announced today...