The Apologist
Unfortunately, yet again this summer, a former Buffalo Bill has removed the need to create an imaginary scenario where a current member of the squad is arrested. The dubious honor this week goes to former RB Travis Henry.
Henry was sentenced to three years in federal prison for his role in financing a drug trafficking ring operating from Denver, Colorado to Billings, Montana.
He was arrested last October in Montana after authorities found 6 pounds of marijuana and 6.6 pounds of cocaine that allegedly belonged to him. Federal agents described Henry as the "money guy" in the operation.
In April, Henry pleaded guilty to one count in trafficking cocaine. He faced the mandatory minimum of 10 years to life in prison. But U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull sentenced Henry to three years in a Florida prison and another five years' probation. Cebull also said that if Henry completes a 500-hour drug treatment program while in prison, he would take 12 months off his sentence. Plus, Henry is already being credited the 2 months he served in a Montana prison, so he could be released as soon as November 2010.
Travis' lawyers say he was "duped" by his friends who were in the drug trade. Supposedly, they took advantage of his fragile state after he was released by the Broncos.
The Apologist
A Virginia Beach judge convicted Bills' legend Bruce Smith of drunk driving, speeding and refusing to take a breathalyzer test on Thursday. Smith's attorney attempted to argue that Smith's football injuries (bad knees, concussion, etc.) made it very difficult for him to perform the field sobriety tests, but the judge felt there was enough evidence to convict Smith of the charges.
This will be the first DUI charge that has stuck to Bruce. He was charged twice before, but both times he was not convicted. This time, Judge Teresa McCrimmon gave Smith a 90-day suspended jail term and fined him $350 for DUI. She also suspended his driver's license for a year for refusing the breath test and fined him $90 for speeding.
None of this will slow Bruce down from entering the Pro-Football Hall of Fame in a month. Smith will be inducted into the Hall, along with owner Ralph Wilson, on Saturday, August 8th.
The Scizz
feat. Grandpa Tim
On this lovely July 4th weekend, High Character Friday will be brought to you by a new face at DGWU Sports. We would like to introduce you to fellow Buffalo-to-New York transplant, Grandpa Tim.
I met Tim in 2006 during the Eastern conference finals against Carolina. We were part of large, wild group at a certain bar that was playing all the games for us, including Labatt's and the Sabre Dance (fuck these guys now though, they cater to douche-bag Ranger fans).
Grandpa Tim is also slightly older than the rest of us, hence the nickname. We have let him have it over the years because old jokes towards Tim never get....um, old. Anyways, Tim will be contributing to this site once in awhile, so please join me in welcoming him. But please speak loudly because he only has one good ear. Take it away old man!
Not actual photo of Grandpa Tim
The Scizz
feat. The Scizzette
My apologies for no High Character Friday post last week. I was waiting on possible entries from several people, and... well... nobody sent me anything. But this week I make up for it with a very special guest! My better half, the Scizzette!
Everybody enjoy! Oh please, please enjoy!!! If you don't enjoy she will hurt me again...
I am so scared... soooo cold and scared.
JUST JOKING! She is a very lovely and beautiful young woman (who happens to beat me). Take it away, Scizzette!
The Scizz
Just a quick one this Friday, folks. I had something longer planned, but I just found out from the Scizzette that we have spontaneous dinner plans.
Yes. I know I'm a bitch.
Anyways...
The Yachtsman
This week's column is a quick one from the Yachtsman. We need to get out of here on the fast pace because... well... it's Memorial Day weekend and we need to get drunk.
The next Buffalo Bill to get arrested will be Rian Lindell.
The charge? DUI. The cause? Despondent over
breaking his streak of 150 straight field goals made from inside the 20, Lindell will attempt to drive off a bridge in his native Seattle (because really, what else is there to do in that awful place?). Unfortunately, he will miss miserably and plow into the median in the middle, hooking left instead of right.
Douche.
The Scizz
Oh, the irony. A few hours after posting a fictitious account of a Buffalo Bills arrest, a real one occurs... and boy is it a doozy:
The man above is fullback Corey McIntyre. Like many of us, Corey likes to masturbate. Unlike many of us,
Corey allegedly likes to masturbate outside an old woman's window at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm thinking this might blow over, especially considering he was arrested TWO MONTHS AFTER the actual incident! It also sounds like the woman may be slightly crazy and blamed the first black man she saw. That whore, she probably wanted it anyways.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bike ride to prepare for.
UPDATE: Police report of the incident. Hilarity ensues.
Welcome to DGWUS' 2nd edition of High Character Fridays!
This week, DGWUS blogger the Scizz brings the motha 'uckin ruckus. I hope you enjoy, because after posting this, he will retreat to a dark corner of the library for the rest of the weekend in order to finish several papers for Grad school. Fuck.
The Scizz
feat. Breezy
Welcome folks, to a new weekly feature here at DGWUS.... High Character Fridays!
Remember when Marv said he was bringing in high character players? Yeah, us too. Listen, we here at DGWUS loooove us some Marv Levy, but that whole process hasn't panned out too well. First, Marshawn decided to show us his excellent driving ability. 9 months later, he displayed his support of the N.R.A. In between those incidents, there was Ko simply being an asshole, followed by our beloved captain Donte Whitner doing his best Andrew Meyer impression.
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