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Ugh, who gets into the Hall of Fame without a Superbowl Ring? A senile idiot who looks like Skeletor shat in a human skeleton. I don't even know what that means but I'm sure it's bad. Forgive me.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS POST. IT IS ALCOHOL FUELED, KINDLED BY FIRES OF HOMETOWN SENTIMENT AND LOVE FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS BUFFALO SPORT.

The Yachtsman (beware, hammered)

The first time I heard that word odious, my mother used it in reference to me having a particularly nasty spoiled upper middle class white kid episode somewhere around the 6th grade. Basically, I was given everything I ever wanted in life, and was never left hungry and/or cold. Somehow I still found a way to bitch about something I didn't get-probably an outlandishly expensive toy that only a little spoiled bag of cocks like me would make a scene about. I thrashed and thrashed and thrashed, probably stamped my feet, and said odious nasty little things only a shitty mouthed 6th grader  with no concept of consequences or morality could say (thank crap my parents sent me to State School for college, otherwise I probably would have been an odious little shit for the rest of my days). I don't remember the outcome, but hopefully my father gave me a fresh one across the back of the head to straighten me out. I took one thing from that episode:

DON'T BE A SNIVELING SPOILED BAG OF COCKS.
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Just sell the team to someone in Buffalo so we can all be rid of you, you sniveling little shit.
Ralph Wilson has been throwing a 6th grade fit since the 70s. It started with his demands to build the new Stadium in Orchard Park (WITH TOTAL FUCKING DISREGARD FOR THE NAME ON THE G-D JERSEY...BUFFALO), and year after year his highness feels the need to repeat to Bills fans that his gift to us is keeping the team in Buffalo. REALLY RALPH!?!? THAT'S YOUR GIFT?!?! YOU BOUGHT A SHITTY AFL TEAM FOR $50,000 IN 1960, TRIED TO MOVE IT TO MIAMI, AND LED US TO 50+ YEARS OF MEDIOCRITY BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO CHEAP TO MOVE THE SQUAD TO SOUTH BEACH!?!?! REALLY?!?!!?

No seriously, all that shit happened. Ask Joe Pinzone.
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whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch small market small market small market bitch bitch whine dementia.
Of course, right now you're asking yourself why all the vitriol towards Ralph, Yachter? I'll tell you why: he's fucking us. The hockey hayride is over. Ted Black and the Pegulamaniacs are all hunkered down at Sabres HQ planning their next move. The Bandits season is over....now a (unfortunately) football town turns its collective head towards St. John Fisher College and the developments within. This is where Shitstain Wilson comes through in the clutch, every time. Ego influenced Front Office Decisions, shitty Head Coaching choices, and awful draft picks. Welcome to being a Bills fan since forever! It's all Ralph's Fault! (unqualified and unsubstantiated, but I really could care less it's 3 AM and I've had a few chardonnays).
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50 years younger, still a dumb stubborn bastard.
Seriously though all this vitriol comes from today's events of which I'm sure you're aware if you are a Bflo Blog Reader. Some rich dude in Midtown Manhattan (raised in Buffalo) wants to buy the Bills and we are all happy. Ralph's doucheocracy at One Bills Drive then releases a statement (which they had to, I know) saying the Bills aren't for sale whilst pee catheter is still alive. Everyone returns to sadness. (DESCRIPTIONS! MY FORTE!)

THIS IS A THING THAT MAKES ME PISSED OFF.

Seriously Ralph, you bought the team for $50,000....sucked off the county TIT for almost a half century, and now, when it's time to sell the team or keep it for your probably ugly offspring...you're not gonna budge. We all know what this is, you dementia'ed assed old creep-o: this is you taking a shot at "pipsqueak" Roger Goodell and the current NFL Big Market reality. WELL GUESS WHAT, RALPH CORNELIUS (NOT TRUE) WILSON: NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON IN BUFFALO CARES ABOUT YOUR PETTY RICH PEOPLE PROBLEMS. EFF YOURSELF, SELL THE TEAM, AND MOVE BACK TO DETROIT WHERE YOU CAN LIVE OUT YOUR DAYS WATCHING MATTHEW STAFFORD GETTING SACKED ON SUNDAYS.

Which brings me back to my original, rambling, outlandish point: Ralph Wilson is an Odious Taint. I'm sick and tired of hearing how shitty a market our area is. The least you can do for an area that has CRAFTED ITS FUCKING IDENTITY around your little country club project is to turn around and open up ownership negotiations. The City of Buffalo made you fucking Rich Ralph. It's time you turned the hell around and gave something back.


I fell asleep twice during the creation of this post and I am clearly still a bit sauced. This was stream of consciousness whining. I'm not even going to review content. I beg you to rip me to shreds in the comments section. This was irresponsible of me, but I fucking hate Ralph right now. He is a fucking douche.

This post was brought to you by the song "Whiplash" by Metallica
 
 
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"WWWWAAAAAAARRRRRPAAAAAAATTTTHH"
The Yachtsman

I just lost this entire post once already, but in the spirit of Ryan Miller and The Buffalo Sabres, I will plow ahead and move forward. BOOF. This series is mystifying to me. We're seeing things out of this Buffalo team that no one could ever have predicted, except maybe the inner warriors living inside the men with Demon Bison on their chests. I am no longer predicting or expecting any rational outcome of these games. Ryan Miller and his woodsman muttonchops have led this band of lumberjacks to a point where they are the hardest wood-chopping & water-fetching squad this city has seen in a LONG time.
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Fig. A.) Skeleton; Ryan Miller's.
Outrageously unsubstantiated and outlandish keys to the game:

- Chris Pronger may be trying to pull some Willis Reed Shit on us. I will have none of that thank you. If he does manage to step out on the ice, look for a maelstrom of Kaleta and Myers blindsiding him at every opportunity. Welcome to the Thunderdome, Gaptooth.

- Tyler Myers has been laying lumber all over the place this series. Look for Psycho T. unleash hell today.

- I don't know what Ryan Miller will show up today, but it doesn't matter to me. I will now follow this man into the depths of holy hell with a smile on my face.

- Who will start in goal for the Flyers? Who fucking cares? Either way the Swords will rain havoc upon their crease.

- My mom is reading the blog now. Uh Oh.

Hoboken, NJ today. The Pourhouse. Watching the game in a state that hates Philly almost as much as Buffalo.

Hasek Jersey, with Glory, again.

The bell tolls for you, Philadelphia. AND TYLER ENNIS IS TOLLING IT.
 
 
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The Yachtsman

Not much to say other than in a high pressure situation, within hours of each other, two of my greatest sports heroes (collectively, the Sabres - individually, the Undertaker) pulled a victory from the jaws of defeat.....greatest back to back wins since Ride the Lightning seamlessly transitioned into For Whom The Bell Tolls?
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'stranger now/are his eyes/to this mystery/he hears the silence so loud'
Stay tuned here for Aps' Wrestlemania recap (seriously, Scizz & I pounded beers and he took notes. Awesome) and perhaps a new contributor?!?! Also, Saturday we will be recording our first ever podcast; topics, emails & guests are much appreciated. Leave your dumps in the comments!
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ride the lightning, bitches.....
 

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