The Scizz

Ah the bye week. In the past several years, it has become one of my favorite times of the year. One week of the NFL where I can focus on my fantasy team(s) above all else. One week where I don't have to be concerned about the Bills getting blown out by 40. One week where my heart can rest from the ridiculous emotions the Bills have sent firing through me. One week where I can rest my liver from the pounding it takes while trying to drown said emotions.

This year I expected to be a little more antsy over the bye week, but alas, I'm pretty psyched about it. With a full Friday and Saturday of wedding plans in Connecticut (for friend of DGWU, D-Roc, whom you may remember from Ep. 14 of the CrapTastiCast), this Sunday is going to turn out to be a nice little resting period for the gal and I. No screaming at the secondary for getting torched by mediocre wide receivers. No near vomiting from all the close games that Fitz and the crew have put us through. And best of all, no new injuries to seven more starters. 

So what else is there to do? Well I'm glad you stopped by, because the Scizz has got your back. Here is a fantabulous rundown of some activities to keep you busy this weekend, listed from top to bottom according to priority.

1. Stop back in to DGWU for the epic return of the CrapTastiCast. After a two-month hiatus due to constant traveling, high level stress at real jobs, technical errors because of celebratory beer spillage, and outright laziness, we all got together this week and recorded episode 15! It takes place in darkess at Megsie's apartment with a full menu of craft beer and incoherent ramblings from each of us. Remember how we hit our stride after a few episodes? Yeah, that's gone. But, it still was a lot of fun and we are sure you will enjoy it.

If you have yet to familiarize yourself with the little podcast we do here, check out the CrapTastiCast archives to prepare yourself. May I suggest episodes 3, 7, and 13 as some of our best non-guest adventures.


2. NASCAR, BITCHES! With no Bills game, I'll be able to focus on one of my favorite races of the year; the Fall Talladega race. Tune in to ESPN Sunday afternoon to see why Will Ferrell and Adam McKay chose this track as their muse for Ricky Bobby. With only five races left in the Chase for the Sprint Cup, just 35 points separate first from eighth place. Carl Edwards holds a slim lead over Kevin Harvick and last week's winner Matt Kenseth. Five-time defending champ Jimmie Johnson sits in eighth place, so please join with me in hoping he blows an engine by lap 14 so that NASCAR can finally have a new title holder.

3. Sabres Hockey. Do I really need to write anything else? Go back and look at the Barrister's giddiness over his last few posts if you need any more reason.

4.  Go to the movies and watch Johnny English Reborn. I love Rowan Atkinson and I love Mr. Bean. I don't care if this makes it seem like I'm nine, the dude makes me laugh.

5. Piss of your girlfriend/wife (or boyfriend/husband!) by watching every other NFL game on Sunday, while keeping your computer open to stat-tracker from 1pm until 12am. This should be completely understandable. Just know that when football season ends, you may have to sit and watch a full day's worth of that Sex and the City box set you bought her for Christmas (or Aqua Teen Hunger Force for the dudes).

6. I know I said this could be a rest from activities that destroy your body, but then again, why not get intoxicated and watch The Big Lebowski. Then these stupid Bills preview posts will make more sense with a fresh viewing on your mind. And if you have never seen it, LEAVE THIS SITE NOW YOU GOD-FORSAKEN SPIRIT!!!!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!!!

7. Catch up on the blogosphere. If you're like me, then the sheer amount of content on Bills and Sabres blogs has been somewhat overwhelming over the past few weeks. I have often found myself way behind on posts from some of my "go to" blogs. Take a look at our archives first, of course, then check out our blogroll for all the sites we here at DGWU love. Or in some cases love/hate. I'm talking to YOU, Tim Connolly supporters!

8. Finally, if you have nothing else to do, watch stupid baseball and punch yourself in the face.

Enjoy the weekend and I'll see you next week for my Week 8, Bills-Redskins preview. Let us all hope and pray that Sexy Rexy will be playing, just for the high comedy that comes with watching him attempt to play football.

I have recently fell back in love with the wit and music stylings of Mr. Ben Folds, so enjoy this fantastic video from 1997 when I was an awkward, high school nerdathlete. Oh, and kudos to you if you "got" the caption under the the lead-in picture to this post. Gotta love that Lebowski/Jacob connection.

The Scizz

We rarely take on a serious tone for this blog, but after a series of conversations with my father this week, I felt the need to pay respect to a classic man in the world of motorsports. At 4:54 EST on Sunday from Las Vegas Motor Speedway, IndyCar driver Dan Wheldon died from injuries sustained during one of the most horrific wrecks in the history of racing. Dan was a successful, well respected, and downright classy guy within not only the IndyCar series, but all of racing.

In ten Indy seasons, he amassed 16 wins, 43 podiums, and won the 2005 championship after setting a modern day record with six wins during the season, including the world famous Indy 500. He also finished second in the points standings in both 2004 and 2005. With the exception of maybe Jimmie Johnson, that is one of the most dominant three year span's in racing during the last decade. He actually was tied for the championship in 2005, but the tie breaker of more wins went to teammate and friend Sam Hornish Jr.

Dan went on to finish in the top five in points for the next two years, and in 2006 teamed up with fellow Indy driver, Scott Dixon and NASCAR driver Casey Mears to win 24 hours at Daytona in the Rolex Sports Car Series. Following 2007, Dan toyed with the idea of moving over to Formula One, but ultimately stayed with his heart in Indy. However, after a two win season in 2008, Dan struggled to find the winner circle the following two seasons and was replaced by a younger driver. With things looking bleak, Dan agreed to a part time race deal in 2011 that would guarantee him a chance at winning the Indy 500. 

At Indianapolis, in his first start of the season, one of only three he would have the opportunity to take part in, he passed the younger driver that replaced him in 2008 on the last lap, and drove to victory. It was a shocking and unexpected turn of events that left thousands in attendance and millions watching around the world, smiling from ear to ear to see the once dominant Wheldon battling back to show he still had the goods. Following the win, Wheldon delivered an emotionally fueled victory speech in which he spoke about the difficulties of not having a full-time ride, and then nearly broke down while dedicating the win to his ailing mother who had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. That moment got me to stay a little more focused on IndyCar this season. His likable persona and dedication to auto racing made it hard for me to not love the guy and pull for him when he would race later in the year.

On Sunday, while I was licking my wounds after a disappointing Buffalo loss, Dan was involved in the crash that would cost him his life. Since the Yachter and myself decided to relax outside and go to dinner with the girlfriends,  I completely missed the news until Sunday morning. I stared at the article in the Daily News for a solid 30 seconds before I could even think about reading it. How could another successful, respected, and straight up classic driver like Dan Wheldon be gone "just like that"? All of this also happened a mere days after he had signed a three year contract to return to IndyCar, the series he loved, full-time while driving for the world famous Andretti family.

This started a train of though that I feel the need to discuss. Too often, auto racing, not just NASCAR, is insulted and given a backseat to "real sports". Richard Petty, Mario Andretti, and Michael Schumacher are never put on ESPN's stupd shit lists of top athletes. Hell, even a FUCKING HORSE is usually ranked above them. After Jimmie Johnson won his fifth straight title, "experts" scoffed and said he doesn't belong in the same category as Tom Brady or Sidney Crosby. I've always accepted people's confusion for my love of NASCAR and motorsports in general. I understand that it isn't everybody's cup of tea., but do not for one second become one of those people that find it "cool" to rip on these men who drive for a living. Maybe you think it's boring to watch cars drive around in circles, or maybe you think anybody can drive a car fast, but the truth is these guys put their lives on the line every single time they step into these vehicles, and that demands fucking respect. Tom Brady has never stepped onto the field and feared for his life. Alex Ovechkin has never skated onto the ice and thought to himself that it may be the last time he sees the light of day.

Sure, football and hockey players risk serious injury every game, but you cannot say that these men risk life and death for their fans and spectators, several times a week. Men like Wheldon, Tony Stewart, Dario Franchitti, and hell, even Danica Patrick entertain the world by driving huge machines at over 200 mph. They don't need the Colin Cowerd's of the world sniveling on their radio shows about what a joke it is to call them athletes.

You know what though? Maybe these people aren't athletes. They are better. They spend their whole lives working their way through minor racing series in order to make it into one of the elite circuits of the world, and that's enough to put them on a list above any diamond kings or heroes of the gridiron. 

Dan Wheldon put his life on the line for the SPORT he loved and for the millions of racing fans around the world. Take a moment to think about that and appreciate what the man did during his life. More so, appreciate that, what these drivers do in one day's practice is more impressive than what Ryan Miller will do in his entire career.

So next time you want to rip on auto racing and it's fans for being boring or unimpressive, think about Dale Earnhardt. Think about Gilles Villeneuve. Think about Adam Petty. Think about Ayrton Senna. And now, think about Dan Wheldon.

Goodbye Dan. You were truly one of the greats. I'll have a big glass of milk tonight in your honor.

The Scizz

Later this afternoon, the DGWU will be embarking on an adventure for the ages. Roughly 250 miles upstate from New York City lies the small town of Watkins Glen.  361 days out of the year, the town is a peaceful area with breathtaking state parks, terrific wineries, and it is only a stone's throw from beautiful Seneca Lake. However, on those other four days of the year, usually in early August, the gates of Hell are opened and the demon spawn known as NASCAR fans transform the quiet village into pure madness. The path of destruction can be scenes from miles away; hundreds of thousands of crushed beer cans, empty Crown Royal bottles, and occasionally even abandoned children.

In other words....our kind of people.

I joke. The majority of NASCAR fans are not THAT bad. My father is the biggest fan I know and he will 100% be the one to drink the smallest amount and embarrass himself the least on this trip. What's that you ask? My dad? Oh yes, the DGWU crew will be meeting and partying with my father for the first time this weekend. I know how to do things the right way. We have been anticipating this trip since mid-Spring and are raring to go, but before I grab my bag and walk country strong into Manhattan, a few notes about the weekend.

- As you can see from the image above, Watkins Glen International is not your typical NASCAR track. Instead of the usuall oval shape with four turns, you get a road course with 11 different twists and turn, complete with different levels of elevation. Yes, that means that they actually drive uphill and downhill at different points in the course.  The biggest knock on auto racing is that it's boring because all they do is turn left over and over again. Not at "the Glen". Road courses are much more common in F1 and Grand Am (who are also racing there this weekend!), so when NASCAR runs them, it always becomes a highlight.

- Another great thing I enjoy about the Glen is that I don't have to sit stationary in a grandstand all day. You can move around to different turns on the track and see the action anywhere you want. This of course means that you miss a lot of the action, but it makes for a fun time when you pack a mini cooler with beer and venture all of the place.

- If you look at the map above one more time, take notice of section B. This will be where the DGWU crew will be camping and spending most of our hours boozing it up. If you hear anything on the news about infield fires or riots in section B of a NASCAR race....don't be surprised.

- The plan as of now is to record episode 14 of the CrapTastiCast from Watkins Glen this weekend. That doesn't mean all NASCAR talk (although expect a little) because I'm sure we need to talk about Mark-Andy's new contract, Lee Evans trade rumors, and of course all of the EPL action we will be missing. Bottom line: an on location podcast from a NASCAR event is going to be pretty awesome. Promise.

- You can also expect many ridiculous tweets from us. Keep an eye out for the hashtag #DGWUNASCAR from @DGWUSports, @theycallmedubs, @Y_vo, @Sam_Hartman, and @TheScizz. High comedy.

I realize that the majority of our readers probably have very little knowledge of NASCAR, so if you do decide to watch the race (or at least part of it), here is a list of drivers you might want to be familiar with for the weekend:

- Jimmie Johnson: You have to know who this guy is by now, fan or not. Although never winning at the Glen, Johnson has won the past five NASCAR points championship and can easily win on almost any type of track in the sport. Yeah, I said SPORT. Suck it. 

-Tony Stewart: Better known by stupid-ass nickname "Smoke", Tony has won five times at the Glen and has an average finish of 5th overall. Always a favorite.

- Juan Pablo Montoya: The former F1 won driver is a road course expert and won the race last season.  Most NASCAR fans dislike him because he isn't white. If they give you any other reason they are full of shit. (Sidenote: several years ago while at the this same race, every time Montoya would drive by these racist hicks would boo him, so I yelled pretty loudly "AAAAAAAAAH, THAT'S HOW I LIKE MY NASCAR! WITH A LITTLE SIDE OF RACISM!" The crowd was not amused.)

- Jeff Gordon: Another household name in NASCAR. Although he is getting up there in age, Gordon has still won at Watkins Glen four times and should never be counted out.

- Carl Edwards: One of the league's most likable drivers, Edwards has come close but has never won at the Glen. His average finish of 8th is not too shabby.

- Marcos Ambrose: A Tanzanian driver, Ambrose has won the past three Nationwide races at the track (kind of like the minor league of NASCAR) and has finished in the top five of all three starts he has had in the big league race. This could be the year he gets his first career win.

-Robby Gordon: Once a top competitor in NASCAR, he went on to buy his own team but has struggled to even keep his car in the top 35 in points. At this track, all bets are off. He always dominates here and and has won in the past with a career average finish of 13th in 12 races.

- Kyle Busch: Meh. Fuck this guy.

-A.J. Allmendinger: His name is fun to say and he is my dad's favorite driver (Richard Petty Motorsport). He also has driven well on road courses and has an average finish of 9th in three starts.

-The Road Course Ringers - Boris Said, Ron Fellows, P.J. Jones, Brian Simo, and Andrew Ranger: These guys are not full-time NASCAR drivers and are usually brought in by smaller teams for only the road course races. They are basically experts who struggle on the larger superspeedways, but tend to dominate road courses. Said, Fellows, and Jones all have top five finishes to their credit, meanwhile Simo has struggled and this will be Andrew Ranger's first career Sprint Cup start. Don't be shocked to see him in the top 10 at the end of the day.

Of course there are many other drivers that are talented at this track. Mark Martin, Denny Hamlin, and Kevin Harvick too name a few. I would expect all of these drivers to make a run at it. I'll even toss in two other small team drivers that I expect to run well here this weekend: David Gilliland and Andy Lally. You never know what is going to happen at Watkins Glen. Except the fact that the DGWU crew will be hammered and making fools of themselves, that you definitely know will happen.  Enjoy your weekend and see you at the races! Yee-haw!

The Scizz

-As I return to my home from a hearty long weekend of heavy alcohol and food consumption, a few thoughts on the sports world have been zipping through my head. First of all, that lovely picture above is of Mr. Darcy Regier and Mr. Ted Black starting the long awaited renovations on HSBC arena, and more specifically their new high-end dressing room facilities.  Word has it they will be one of the best in the NHL, comparable to what Mark Cuban has for his players on the NBA's Dallas Mavericks.  Which means if Cuban gave his players 26" flat screens with a brand new PS3 and loaded ipod, you better believe Buffalo players will be getting some sick 7" portable dvd players with a Sega Dreamcast and disc-man (Goo Goo Dolls "Best of" not included).  All kidding aside, it is pretty cool to see the effort these guys are putting forth in Buffalo's new PR department.  Sure beats the hell out of "Buffalo: For Real".  But more on that later.

-In other Sabres news, star prospect Marcus Foligno signed his entry level deal with the the club for 3 years and a possible 2.48 million dollars.  The son of former Sabre Mike Foligno was a stud in the world juniors and will most likely start the season in Portland or Rochester.  Or wherever the hell the Buffalo AHL team decides to settle.  Personally, I think Franklinville, NY is a lovely spot for an AHL franchise, but what do I know?  I drank 18 Coors Lights on Saturday and then ate my weight in mozzarella sticks at two in the morning. Champion of the world? Champion of the world.

-On Monday, the NY Times had a piece on revisiting Super Bowl 25.  In all honesty, I got five paragraphs in, burst into tears and slammed my head against the wall repeatedly. I refuse to keep torturing myself over that shit. So instead I will tell you that I once saw Otis Anderson eating dinner at a Hooters in Jacksonville before a Jaguars - Giants Monday night game.  My friend (a Giants fan) saw his Super Bowl ring glistening in the sunlight.  I told him that if I got drunk enough I was going to confront him and let him know that he was the worst Super Bowl MVP of all time. Instead I did shots with a Hooters girl with stretch marks and took a boat to the stadium. Yay me.

-One thing you haven't seen much about on this site yet is college football.  What you will come to find out is that I am Penn State fan and Yachtsman is a Michigan fan.  We are sure to go at each other's jugular once or twice this fall, but for now I'm sure we agree.....fuck Jim Tressel.  Fuck him and his stupid sweater vests. I could go on and on about all the lying and douche-baggery this guy has presented to us in his career, but I'm saving it for the Yachter.  He begged me via text this morning to leave this topic to him and a full post later this week.  If you thought his Ralph Wilson post was bad, hide your kids and wife because nobody hates Ohio State more than him. Remember that Ralph is part of an organization he enjoys. THE Ohio State is a HUGE piece of shit that only terrorists love. (Our fact-checkers are telling me this is true)  (I am the fact-checker)

-I'm not going to go too far into Wall Street Icon Jeffrey Gundlach's interest in purchasing the Buffalo Bills.  Sure it is exciting, but until Ralph leaves this world all we can do is sit back and wonder. Although the thought of a Gordon Gecko type running the Bills has me either extremely excited or terrified. Just pray he doesn't know Shia Lebouf.

-Looks like no CrapTastiCast this week folks. With the Apologist working, Yachtsman moving, and Megsie vacationing in Montauk it became quite difficult to make the recording happen.  With some luck we will knock one out by next weekend and have it ready for you asap. So if you have just joined in on our lovely podcasting nightmare of ramblings, take this opportunity to go back and listen to some of the past episodes.  Of course episode 7 is an epic mess, but episode 2 and 4 are also solid and you can hear us coming into our own. 

-NASCAR TALK! That's right everybody, this weekend saw an amazing finish at the Coca Cola 600 at Charlotte motor speedway.  It was officially the longest race in NASCAR history, and by lap 22 several lead cars started running out of gas, completely changing the dynamic of the race.  Then with just a few laps left, five-time champion Jimmie Johnson blew an engine, leaving all of the other leaders concerned with conserving fuel.  One by one, the leaders either pitted for fuel or ran out, and with one-lap left it looked as if crowd favorite Dale Earnhardt Jr. would end his two year win drought.  Not quite.  As I jumped up from bed at 11:45 at night to cheer Dale on, in total Buffalo sports fashion he ran out of fuel ON THE LAST TURN, and mid-pack runner Kevin Harvick zipped by for his third win of season.  Great ending, but of course I was left disappointed. At least Scizz fave A.J.Allmendinger came in 5th for his best finish of the season. I LOVE MEDIOCRE TEAMS AND RACE-CAR DRIVERS!!!!

-Which all reminds me that I have received confirmation from two of the other three member of the DGWU crew to go camping at Watkins Glen this August for their yearly NASCAR event.  We will be joining Father of the Scizz and friends for what is sure to be a drunken nightmare. Live CrapTastiCast anyone???

-Finally, tomorrow night brings that gathering of Barrister, Apologist and myself for some baseball fun at Citi Field in Flushing, NY.  DGWU fave R.A. Dickey leads the team against the fan-favorite of many local Buffalonians, the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Is that true?  I have no idea, somebody leave a comment and let me know. Anyways, If we can figure out how to do it, expect some live updates and amusing pictures.  Definitely look for drunken tweets from @DGWUSports. 

-I leave you with Wu-Tang member Raekwon and one of the tracks off his newest album Shaolin Vs. Wu-Tang.  Sick shit. This track, Masters of our Fate features Black Thought from The Roots and is already a "most-played" song on my ipod. RIP OL' DIRTY!