Sad. And adorable.
The Barrister & The Scizz
It was a rainy, misty, shitty day in New York City on Thursday. The perfect setting for our second installment of Infinite Sadness, one of the peripheral cogs in the Deeg Podcast Industries. Scizz, still sitting in the solitude of his sobriety, and I, still sitting in my own sweat and overworked misery, got together via Skype to discuss some of the more recent sports news that makes us infinitely sad.
While the arc of our conversation is often tangential, we touch on the NHL playoffs and how it's been to watch hockey suddenly get big in the big market of NYC, and then have a reflective discussion on how unsurprised we are to see that the Buffalo Sabres have not invited us and our stockpile of dick jokes to attend next month's Blogger Summit. Hint: It's Scizz's fault. Second Hint: It's also Alex Sulzer's fault.
This was a ton of fun to make, as always, and includes musical interludes from Incubus, Ben Folds Five and Biggie Smalls. Enjoy by streaming or downloading below.
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FIX IT GARY.
Yes, we missed opportunities. Yes, the Flyers are deeper down the center. Yes we are struggling to make plays in the slot. Yes, the Sabres are going to have to buck almost a century's trend of epic heartbreaking Buffalo losses to win the series on Tuesday in Shittydelphia. Yes, Barry Melrose continues to have a job covering the NHL (defying the odds since ESPN The Deuce!).
Look, they're both lost!
After a little tete-a-tete with my January 1st self, I realized we are on an awesomesauce run, and we should (operative word) be enjoying it. Not that it makes it any less worse. And I'm not telling you not to feel the burn of an OT loss in the playoffs to the scummiest scumfucks this side of the 70s. I'm just saying it's a miracle we're here....and I feel way better now than I did after Game 5 vs. Boston last year. The Pegula Era hasn't really begun, we have money to burn, and there's a Brad Richards out there over the rainbow ready to spurn us should Derek Roy not fulfill his destiny on Tuesday night (NO PRESSURE FANCY HAT).
"Who's ready for a little game of 'I keep the puck too long?' Vanek? Stafford? Too Soon?"
But what would a blog post from The Yachter be without some sort of ill-founded, less-than-factual, swear-laden rant? Right guys? Seriously though. The headshot shit? Gotta end. There's nothing I can really say about it that hasn't already been said (but of course I'll try). First, it was a blatant push head first into the boards. Second, it'll never be a suspension for Richards due to a number of reasons:
1.) He has a C on his chest, which stands for Captain which means Marketable, which means No Balls Bettman wouldn't DREAM of suspending the Captain of a Big Market Squad in a Game 7 for something so petty as driving a player's unprotected face and frontal lobe into the boards at full speed.
2.) He's one of Hockey Canada's Golden Boys. TSN, The Globe, HNIC, The CBC...you won't see word one from one of those outlets calling for a suspension or calling it a dirty hit, even though it clearly was one of the more egregious hits of the playoffs. AND OF A TYPE THE NHL HAS BEEN HEMMING AND HAWWING ABOUT FIXING FOR THE PAST 18 FUCKING MONTHS.
3.) Things don't work that way for Buffalo. If by some miracle of miracles we pull a win out of our collective cursed buttholes in Philly on Tuesday, it won't be because the Hockey Gods gifted us with a suspension of the Flyers' best player. It will come with grit, effort, attention to detail, and every Sabre playing 10-15 pts. higher than his EA Sports NHL 11 Rating. Basically we have to not only defy the odds but the majoriy of the gods & titans too. Minus Hephaesteus though. I hear he's a HUGE Grier fan.
On a serious note.....if you let a Captain (read: role model, face of the franchise in the community, marketable asset, leader) get away with a devastating hit like that, what kind of message are you sending out to younger players and parents? It's okay to drive your opponent headfirst into the boards? Because a 2:00 minute minor is basically saying "it's okay to do that if you absolutely have to, but try and staw away from it". A 5:00 minute major takes that type of hit out of a young player's repertoire for life.
Another added benefit of being consistent with your headshot policy? It keeps guys like Pat LaFontaine, Paul Kariya, Adam Deadmarsh, Eric Lindros, and Tim Connolly on the ice and thus fulfilling the tremendous amounts of potential and talent they were blessed with. (Yeah, if it weren't for Connolly's fear of getting blindsided for his entire career, he ACTUALLY would have been a top 20 center)
SIDENOTED ADDENDUM VIS A VIS POST SCRIPT: Can one of the more coherent readers of this pile of words explain to me why Boarding is even considered a minor penalty these days? There is no moment when Boarding should not be considered a 5 Alive. It's the most dangerous of all minors, and I'm including the high stick. Think back when Ovechkin trashed our darling Danny head first into boards a few years back. An inch here, an inch there.....maybe the Sabres are moving to the next round and Briere is talking about his glory days.....I'M JUST SAYING. Seriously. Boarding. Bad.
This picture will never get old.
I just lost this entire post once already, but in the spirit of Ryan Miller and The Buffalo Sabres, I will plow ahead and move forward. BOOF. This series is mystifying to me. We're seeing things out of this Buffalo team that no one could ever have predicted, except maybe the inner warriors living inside the men with Demon Bison on their chests. I am no longer predicting or expecting any rational outcome of these games. Ryan Miller and his woodsman muttonchops have led this band of lumberjacks to a point where they are the hardest wood-chopping & water-fetching squad this city has seen in a LONG time.
Fig. A.) Skeleton; Ryan Miller's.
Outrageously unsubstantiated and outlandish keys to the game:
- Chris Pronger may be trying to pull some Willis Reed Shit on us. I will have none of that thank you. If he does manage to step out on the ice, look for a maelstrom of Kaleta and Myers blindsiding him at every opportunity. Welcome to the Thunderdome, Gaptooth.
- Tyler Myers has been laying lumber all over the place this series. Look for Psycho T. unleash hell today.
- I don't know what Ryan Miller will show up today, but it doesn't matter to me. I will now follow this man into the depths of holy hell with a smile on my face.
- Who will start in goal for the Flyers? Who fucking cares? Either way the Swords will rain havoc upon their crease.
- My mom is reading the blog now. Uh Oh.
Hoboken, NJ today. The Pourhouse. Watching the game in a state that hates Philly almost as much as Buffalo.
Hasek Jersey, with Glory, again.
The bell tolls for you, Philadelphia. AND TYLER ENNIS IS TOLLING IT.
Can we all join hands right now?
Better late than never. Here is your 2011 NHL playoff schedule for the First round series between our beloved Buffalo Sabres and those dastardly Philadelphia Flyers:
Thursday, April 14 at Philadelphia, 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, April 16 at Philadelphia, 5:00 p.m.
Monday, April 18 at Buffalo, 7:00 p.m.
Wednesday, April 20 at Buffalo, 7:30 p.m.
*Friday, April 22 at Philadelphia, 7:30 p.m.
*Sunday, April 24 at Buffalo, 3:00 p.m.
*Tuesday, April 26 at Philadelphia, TBD
(Thank you, Die By The Blade
Yes, I realize every Buffalo blog and facebook page has posted this already, SO GET OFF MY BACK!!! Sorry, but I am fired up beyond belief and have listened to this amazing piece of brilliance
about twenty-seven times today. I am a little insane right about now.
Stay tuned to find out where the DGWU Sports crew will be watching the game this Thursday evening and maybe you can join us. Also, besides following each of us separately, you can now find us as a whole on Twitter @DGWUSports. Lastly, please keep an eye out tonight or tomorrow for the official posting of the DearGodWhyUs Podcast. It was recorded Saturday afternoon above MSG in a lovely studio that our dear friend/now-producer Megan hooked us up with. I'll save the details for the Yachtsman's intro.
I now leave you with "The Hit". I totally get that neither player is with these respected teams anymore, but how can you not bring this up when talking Sabres Vs. Flyers. (After listening to Jeanneret's call, check out the call around 1:20. "WATCH OUT....oh it's too late")
OOOOOH AAAAAAAH SABRES ON THE WARPATH. OOOOOOH AAAAAAAAH SABRES ON THE WARPATH.