The Scizz
With the draft over and DGWU waiting for a possible draft recap from the Wire (since none of us know what the fuck we are talking about), I feel like getting to know our new undrafted free agents is just as important. These guys may not come with all the hoopla and bitchy blogger twitter fights, but they still play an important part in training camp and may actually make the squad. Look at past undrafted "stars" like George Wilson, David Nelson, and even Brian Moorman! Any of these new, young cowpokes could be diamonds in the fluff and be leading the Buffalo Bills team to a 5 - 11 season in no time!
So sit back and enjoy the extensive research I have done to inform you, the reader, about what possible gems await us when training camp opens. (Note: 98% of this profile is completely fabricated and in no way accurate. Eat me.)
First up, the guy MOST likely to make the team this season, punter Shaun Powell!!!!!
Position: Punter
College: Florida State
High School: Tex Graves HS - Tupelo, Mississippi
Strengths: Punting a football and prolonged eye contact
Weaknesses: Throwing, catching, and running with a football, tackling, and blocking. Also, all social situations.
On-field accomplishments: Highest career punting average at FSU
Off-field accomplishment: Lowest career arrest total for a punter at FSU
Favorite Players: Rick Tuten, Sammy Baugh, Sebastian Janikowski, and "that black punter"
Other boyhood idols: My Dad, my other dad, Festus
Goals: "To be the greatest punter in the history of the NFL." or "Have the most rapey face in the history of the NFL."
Favorite bands/musical artists: Gin Blossoms, Usher, Yo La Tengo, David Allan Coe, and Sepultura
Favorite movie: Deliverance
Favorite food: Kickers
Off-field activities/hobbies: Power stretching, Chin Strap Beards Anonymous, collecting used rape whistles, knitting
Favorite Buffalo Bills moment:
College: Florida State
High School: Tex Graves HS - Tupelo, Mississippi
Strengths: Punting a football and prolonged eye contact
Weaknesses: Throwing, catching, and running with a football, tackling, and blocking. Also, all social situations.
On-field accomplishments: Highest career punting average at FSU
Off-field accomplishment: Lowest career arrest total for a punter at FSU
Favorite Players: Rick Tuten, Sammy Baugh, Sebastian Janikowski, and "that black punter"
Other boyhood idols: My Dad, my other dad, Festus
Goals: "To be the greatest punter in the history of the NFL." or "Have the most rapey face in the history of the NFL."
Favorite bands/musical artists: Gin Blossoms, Usher, Yo La Tengo, David Allan Coe, and Sepultura
Favorite movie: Deliverance
Favorite food: Kickers
Off-field activities/hobbies: Power stretching, Chin Strap Beards Anonymous, collecting used rape whistles, knitting
Favorite Buffalo Bills moment:
Favorite Non-Football Sports Teams: Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Romantic Crush: Rooney Mara, Robin Givens, Ving Rhames
Most embarrassing moment: Being a punter at Florida State
Most looking forward to....: Building team chemistry, hanging out with Shawne Merriman, looking for a job in mid-August
There you have it! Your first in depth profile of a Buffalo Bills undrafted free agent. Stay tuned at DGWU Sports for many more as we count down the days to the season. Yay football!
Follow me @TheScizz and tell me how awesome I am.
Romantic Crush: Rooney Mara, Robin Givens, Ving Rhames
Most embarrassing moment: Being a punter at Florida State
Most looking forward to....: Building team chemistry, hanging out with Shawne Merriman, looking for a job in mid-August
There you have it! Your first in depth profile of a Buffalo Bills undrafted free agent. Stay tuned at DGWU Sports for many more as we count down the days to the season. Yay football!
Follow me @TheScizz and tell me how awesome I am.
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