In the wake of such a joyous victory, it’s probably no surprise that it’s taken a little longer to get a recap up. Words are simply insufficient to express the happiness with which I take every step throughout the Tri-State knowing that my beloved squad has vanquished such an annoying and petulant team from the nether regions of Douchebagistan, New Jersey.
Either that, or the Apologist offered to do the recap and then got burnt out by over-thinking it and now I am diligently picking up his fucking predictable slack.
That really was a great game. The first of its kind this year: a convincing win by the Bills; the result never really in doubt beyond half time. Sure, many fans, including a few in my living room, expected the game to fall apart when the Jets finally put a touchdown on the board, but those efforts by Gangrene, excuse me Gang_Green, were woefully insufficient compared to the kind of day Buffalo was having. Fucking unreal, totally unexpected, and still has me tingling from head to toe a day and half later.
Bullet points await!!
Barrister here. Jeremy White suggested, in the midst of unreasonable amounts of ranting in my twitter feed (@theycallmedubs
y'all), suggested that we talk about Mario Williams and his broken/sprained/bruised/not really hurt at all (?) foot and Doug Marrone yelling at John Wawrow and others.
Music from Glitch Mob and Wu Tang.
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We gathered to chat about sports and stuff. Bills. Jokes. Dance music. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. America.
It's been too long.
Music by way of White Panda, Dr. Ooo and Ellie Goulding. That's right.
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The Barrister and The Wild Card
You are about to get tag-teamed. …
No, not that kind of tag-teamed, perv. There will be no trips to the Eiffel Tower today, though you can still parlez vous my balls.
Barrister in blue. Wild Card, who will start us off, in red.
Wild Card: Alright. Let’s get a few things out of the way before we kick off this hot little spitfire. I’m a Stevie Johnson FAN. I mean, I celebrate his whole collection. We go pretty far back, me and Stevie. I distinctly remember a trip to St John Fisher his rookie year wherein I forgot the free tickets, and so incensed was the person driving that he turned the car around circa the 490. After a venomous rant, followed by a heartfelt apology, I convinced him to turn the car back around circa Batavia, and we proceeded to go to the ticket office (folding table) and ask the attendant (some fuckin intern or some shit) “hey I left the tickets at home, but come oooonn, right?!” and in true form that fuckin intern or some shit provided us with four tickets to training camp. This trip down memory lane is brought to you by Keystone Light; the tall boys of which I was still drinking at this point of my life, and it coincided with SJ13’s rookie year. That day, I saw Stevie at training camp and watching him run a few routes and catch a few balls was enough for me: he was my newest in a long line of long-shot Wide Receivers that I would root for every year. (See: Armour, Justin; Roosevelt, Naaman). But something happened for the first time ever with Stevie: HE ACTUALLY FUCKIN MADE IT!! I GOT TO BUY HIS JERSEY AND EVERYTHING!!
Why was the opening paragraph necessary? It wasn’t. I guess I just want to disclaim that he really is my favorite fucking player and I’ll defend him no matter what he does right or wrong. That being said, I firmly believe that he rarely does anything wrong. This time is no different.
But moving on…. the news.
So Stevie Johnson was in a picture that was ultimately posted by the Buffalo Bills to celebrate his birthday. He was in a shirt that said “USS Fuhkmore."
In stores this September.
The Apologist I say, I say, I gone and done it.
It’s alright. I know your heart is telling you it’s too soon to fall again, but it’s ok. There’s reason to get excited, to believe. You’ve been hurt before, but this time, it really is different. We’ve truly never seen anything like this. So it’s ok to already be excited for the Bills’ season to start.
In the 20 years leading up to last Thursday, since the NFL implemented an unrestricted free-agent system, the most money Ralph & Co. had ever handed out was $7 million-a-year to Derrick Dockery. You know, the Derrick Dockery who has started four games in the last two seasons.
Ok, bad memory. But seriously folks, this time it’s different. The Buffalo Bills, owners of the longest playoff drought in the NFL today, went out and signed the top free agent at his position in the market to the largest contract for a defender in the history of the league.
Aside from the lift this gives the entire defense, Buddy Nix gets a huge boost in stature from this signing. In my eyes, this deal legitimized his leadership. All Foghorn Leghorn jokes aside, it cements his position as a straight shooter who sticks to his guns.
Maybe he won’t be able to keep that up. Life as a coach or GM in the NFL, or any other sport for that matter, seems to preclude the possibility of standing by your word (right, Boeheim? …too soon?). But he said he was going to find someone who had head coaching experience. He said they would always use draft picks to find the best athletes. He said he wanted Stevie Johnson back. He said he would make every effort to sign Mario Williams.
Done, done, done, and done.
Will he be able to keep it up by restructuring Fred Jackson’s contract and finding difference makers in this year’s draft? Only time will tell. But for now, you can’t find much to fault in the Bills’ GM.
But enough about the signing itself. After a while the luster of all those zeroes at the end of Williams’ contract will wear off and the big questions will still need to be answered. How good can this defense be? Will the 4-3 mask the fact that our linebackers & secondary are less than great? Is Dave Wannstedt the answer at defensive coordinator? Are we really going to pay Shawne Merriman $5 million to salvage his reputation?
I’m not sure I’m smart enough to answer any of these questions well. Obviously adding a player as talented as Mario Williams will only make us better, but how much better is impossible to determine with any certainty. No sport exists with more variables than football. Serious speculation is simply a waste of time. (Peter King’s 2011 Super Bowl Prediction: Falcons over Chargers. Oops.)
Simply let the excitement wash over you. Your Buffalo Bills made the biggest splash of the NFL off-season.
Hey. Mind if I take your job? / Ummm...
Ok, maybe not the biggest splash. But still, think back to where you were when the Bills’ season ended. Luckily for me, I don’t have to think too hard, because I vented all my rage here
. I was distraught and depressed. A few days after writing that, I had basically stopped thinking about the Bills. I refused to look at a single draft board or even consider the Bills’ chances of reaching the .500 plateau, let alone the playoffs.
Today? I’m excited for the draft. I’m excited to see what our schedule looks like. I honestly believe the Bills have a shot at a playoff spot.
Foolish? Probably. Fun? Definitely.
As I’ve said time and time again, sports should be about fun. Splitting the hairs on Mario’s head is pointless until games are played. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the feeling that the organization finally cares and maybe, just maybe, has a clue. Yes, that says more about the level of my standards than anything else, but still, improvements were needed and they have been made, with more coming on the horizon. It's hard for me to find bad things to say about a team I shredded to the best of my ability two months ago.
Are things definitely going to be different? I don’t know how much, but they already are. The Bills of the last 12 years never made moves like this. These Bills resigned a true #1 receiver, then went out and got one of the two biggest jewels in the free agent market. And neither of them ever entertained offers elsewhere.
No one saw this coming. But it happened. So go ahead. Let yourself fall in love all over again.
For once, there’s a really good reason.
True Colors....shining through.
The Deeg Crew, feat. Joe Pinzone & The Pink Elephant
Twenty-five episodes? Buffalo for real? Yikes.
Not only are we shocked that we have actually recorded 25 episodes, but the fact that we have kept a steady listenership and continue to gain subscribers blows our freakin' minds. So, on the eve of Yachtsman's 30th birthday, the Deeg drank lots of craft beer and gathered at the Apologist's apartment to record the big two-five, or the silver anniversary edition if you will. We open with a new theme dedicated to Mario Williams, and from there we go into rants of happiness about the big signing of our new high-paid, defensive monster. You will also notice that the Yachtsman probably had a little too much fun with Spotify during the recording (a lot of True Colors), but all in all, it made for some pretty funny moments, including actual hand-holding, high fives, and group hugs... and maybe some dry-humping.
The second segment is a little crazy, as we attempt to talk about the Sabres, but our overall excitement for beer and Mario leads us astray. We are joined by Apologist's roommate and friend of the Deeg, the Pink Elephant, for a good portion of the podcast, whose non-love of sports becomes hilariously apparent early on. However, he spends a good deal of time making fun of us for being idiots, so that evens it out.
It also would not be a silver anniversary edition without our dear friend, Joe Pinzone
of Buffalo Wins
! Joe skypes in from home and most likely regrets it immediately. His take on the Bills and Mario is fantastic, and as always, so much better than anything we can come up with. Well done, Joe. Phil
was supposed to be on, but technology is hard for us drunk idiots. Maybe next time.
Musical breaks from Toto, Wings, The Meat Puppets, and Puff Daddy & Mase. Yup.
Download from Libsyn here
or iTunes below. Easiest way is to hit the streamer.
Yachtsman. Apologist. Round One. FIGHT!
This week's episode was recorded from the Scizz's apartment in Hoboken, and is a mishmash of sports talk that, honestly, is way below our normal quota of offensive jokes. But you know what? Even the Deeg can get serious once in awhile.
Now don't get it twisted, there are still PLENTY of the inappropriate, spit-take inducing moments you have come to know and love, but they are put on the back-burner to some actual *shutters* sports-related discussions. What you get are three very different segments from all members of the Deeg.
Segment one includes a lightning round of talk, including Jason Pominville's captaincy, re-signing Stevie Johnson, and a hilarious moment when the Yachstman gets the Barrister's hopes up, only to rip the soul from his body.
Segment two is almost all NBA talk, which we realize is usually saved for the Apostles of Bob
, but after watching the Heat take apart our beloved Knicks, Yachter and Aps have a heated discussion about Lebron's talent and Legacy.
Segment three brings you Sabres talk about the state of the franchise, being a small market/deep pocket team, and trade deadline chatter that will only make us look stupid after Darcy's surprising moves today. Finally, what do John Williams, Mos Def, and Amy Grant have in common with this podcast? You guessed it, the weirdest musical interludes yet. Get the podcast through this Libsyn link
, or through iTunes or streaming option below. This episode has been Cody Hodgson approved! (Barrister's Legal Disclaimer: It has not.
El Yachtero"If the #bills let stevie walk and get no one better than manningham I will, in fact, turn in my fan card and root for someone else"- @matthew1stewart
, of BuffaloWins and some fucking blog
I wasn't invited to, on twitter discussing the impending Stevie Johnson "issue" at One Bills Drive."A league source told The Buffalo News that Johnson isn’t expecting to receive the franchise tag from the Bills, and despite swapping contract proposals recently the two sides are far apart on negotiations. The franchise tag option hasn’t been discussed during negotiations with Johnson, the source told The News.
"- Rodney McKissic on TBN's "BillBoard" blog.So the latest we have on Stevie Johnson is that there is no latest. But realistically, the fact that there is no latest and we have to wait until the combine to get the latest and by that time the latest will probably not be the greatest, but the worst, I'll just start the assumptions here: Stevie isn't going to be a Buffalo Bill next year. The fans back home don't enjoy the swag, the coach doesn't enjoy the penalties, and the bank doesn't enjoy the expenditure.Ugh.Weakest.
This is not going to be a happy post.
I'm fucking bitter. Right from the outset, dear readers, please understand that there is a LOT pissing me off these days. For the life of me, though, I can't stomach a full post where I take on one, cohesive topic of my rage. I'm exhausted from vacation (go figure), I'm already exhausted from work, and I'm exhausted by the dozen or so little corners of my sports world that make me want to find Jerry Sullivan's NYC doppleganger and strangle him to a long, slow death.
I am not in a good place, in other words.
This is my week 13 Buffalo Bills preview. It's not really a preview, rather, it's a rage and sadness storm. Also, it probably makes little to any sense. Meh.
If you are a fan of the Big Lebowski, then you will be familiar with the scene above. If you are a HUGE fan of the Big Lebowski, then you will be very familiar with the title of the post. You see, when Lebowski plays on cable, John Goodman's favorite line of "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!"
is brilliantly translated to "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!"
Almost as good as the famous Scarface translation into "Where'd you get that beauty scar, tough guy? Eating pineapple?"
. But, I'll let you check that out for yourself
What does this have to do with the Buffalo Bills? Well, when the Bills started this season, they were tough underdogs who worked hard, played harder, and seemed like they were ready to take on the world. They were Walter's original line. Since week 7, the Bills have become that weak direct to TV translation. They are plagued with constant injuries, show little to no heart (although I'll admit there was a couple sparks last week), and have powerful ability to look like a NAIA college football team.