The Commander, guest contributor
Hi there, welcome to The DEEG. I’m “The Commander”, which is totally a play on Cobra Commander. Confession: I’m a giant GI Joe dork, I have an entire room full of action figures and shit. I’m a grown ass man and everything. I even have a job, and a girlfriend, and a shitload of cats and dogs. If you don’t know me, that’s ok I haven’t written anything long form in forever. Basically, I’m a Twitter smartass and the people who run this place love that sort of thing so they gave me a chance to be funny and entertaining in more than 140 characters.
First a little background so that you guys get where I’m coming from when it comes to my relationship with Buffalo sports. I was actually born in Cleveland and moved to Buffalo when I was about 9 years old. Being too young to really care about the Cleveland teams, I latched onto the Bills and Sabres and grew up following them. The first Bills game I attended in person was The Comeback, so really It’s been all downhill from there. About 2 years ago I moved to California and jinxed the only pro team in my immediate area into moving to Seattle. You’re welcome Sacramento! Despite having a “9 to 5” I’ve been able to watch like 95% of every Sabres game this year…thanks to mobile devices and working from home occasionally. So now that you have an idea of the lengths I go to be disappointed in my sports teams, I feel that I can openly bitch and complain about them for you. The only difference between you and I is that at least when the Bills and Sabres suck unequivocal amounts of ass in November or December, I don’t have to shovel snow.
This is a terrible time to jump aboard the DEEG, Bills season is long over and another shitty Sabres season is behind us. But I wanted to take this time and reflect on the 5 things that I hated the most about the past Sabres season.
Season ticket holders at the Aud: Still nursing chronic knee and back injuries.
Due to the popularity of the first "Where Are They Now" post, and the sheer enjoyment I got out of writing it, I have decided to come back for round two. There are plenty more former and current Buffalo Sabres personailities that we all need to catch up on. I have searched far and wide and even enlisted the help of other Buffalo bloggers in order to bring you the whereabouts and actions of these men. You should know how professional I am after listening the latest CrapTastiCast
. Remember, everything in this post is 100% factual because DGWU only reports the TRUTH! If you have any new leads, please fight the good fight and leave them in the comment section.
BUY ME OUT!
J.P. Dumont: Stomping his feet and asking himself how the fuck Kotalik pulled that one off!?!
Dave Hannan: Agonizing wife at the dinner table with 1080th recounting of the goal against NJ -Scotty from BSN
Head server, here I come!
Chris Butler: Arguing with a sales rep at U-Haul on Transit Road over price of a 24 foot truck, one-way to Calgary. The words "what do you mean you don't know who I am" were uttered.
I should have known when the e-mail said ZubrusSucks@gmail.com
Jiri Novotny: Just e-mailed me to ask if he can be in the next "Where Are They Now" post.
Mike Wilson: Slowest windup in the sanitation engineer industry. - Scotty from BSN
Jean Luc Grand-Pierre: Losing his MMA debut. Threw fury of punches that hit no one, fell, and tapped out to a basic arm bar in .3 seconds.
Ted Nolan: Still banging Hasek's wife. -The Yachtsman
I still want him on the fourth line!!!
How YOU doin'?
Ted Black: Shamelessly flirting with female bloggers....and some male ones too.
Rory Fitzpatrick: Currently ranked #3 in voting on Canadian Idol. Bryan Adams and Tom Cochrane are PISSED.
John Rigas: Spending a day in solitary for refusing to eat his prunes. -Scotty from BSN (I also had one written but it was way more inappropriate...use your imagination)
We are on to you Reegs!
Darcy Regier: Posing as @FakeDarcy on twitter to throw us off his trail.