The Outlander
Tomorrow night the longest lockout shortened season in the history of sports is coming to an end. Seriously, it’s only been three months; I have the schedule in front of me and everything. If you want highlights only, this will be a quick read for you: season opener, three Boston wins, comeback against Montreal, snapping Pittsburgh’s win streak. There, you can go back to whatever it was you were doing before you got here; I’m only writing this because the Wild Card is some sort of wunderkind and I’m feeling inadequate. Actually I’ll give you one more highlight: waking up at the gate in JFK at 7:30am after Occupy Newark, surrounded by dozens of people with only hazy recollection of how I got there. Probably should have just taken Scizz’s couch invite instead of taking a cab to the airport at 4am, but I am thankful for whatever TSA agent kindly let me through security.
That still-intoxicated confusion amongst the chaos of a crowded airport terminal is indicative of the season we just watched. What happened? Why was everything so terrible? Why am I still wearing this Vanek jersey? Well, I watched nearly every game and I don’t have the slightest goddamn clue. All I know is this is the first season I didn’t see a win in person since 2003-2004 and I’ve spent nearly all of those seasons in between living hours away. Well that, and that there were many specific things that came together like some sort of horrifying, malevolent Captain Planet to ruin our evenings three times a week.
At first I was just going to list all the things that were horrible about this season but as I got to eleven it struck me that first, with enough time this list could go on perpetually as if I was writing out the decimals in pi, looking for an end, and second, I wanted to identify what was worse than all the others; what, when matched up against the other “worst” things on the list, made the others look better. Think of this like a Bill Simmons' NBA trade value column, except you’ve heard of these names and I don’t get paid for it. To properly settle this, I decided to seed the eight worst entities about this season and match them up in a tournament format to see what exactly would come out on top (bottom?), along with my analysis.
To the seedings: 9 (Honorable Mention): John Scott - I definitely bitched about his presence on the ice more than some of the things found below, but when compiling this list I felt he may have gotten a bad rap from me. First, we all knew coming in he wasn't skilled at hockey. Two, it wasn't his decision to put him in the lineup constantly, leaving talented- err, less awful players scratched. However, he would have cracked my top 8 if it wasn't for his photobombing post-game interviews late in the season. So, thanks to some stellar off-ice moves, Scott does not make the most hated tournament. But seriously, get the fuck off my team now. 8) Jochen Hecht: I’m not sure what I hate more, his complete ineptitude on offense, the rare moments when that ineptitude disappears, or the fact that everyone involved in making organizational decisions loves this guy for reasons beyond understanding. Ruff, Regier and Rolston have raved about this statue and I haven’t the slightest fucking clue. Giving Hecht top line minutes was effectively hoping for a 1-0 win or a 2-1 overtime loss, and despite this I STILL don’t trust them to cut ties after this season. He’s a fucking 80’s horror villain. Go away. 7) Drew Stafford: Fuck Drew Stafford. Thanks for those two shootout goals I guess, dickface. 6) The Buffalo News: This is primarily a credit to their belief that all the teams ills would have been solved if the owner had commented about Regier or the Pominville trade. Watching them slowly melt down during the season into petulant children was pretty funny when I wasn’t annoyed by the pettiness and lack of professionalism by people who actually do get paid to write for a living. Plus they’re fucking creepy. Solid dark horse as a six seed
The Outlander
Tonight the Buffalo Sabres take to the ice in the land of meth labs and man-eating sinkholes to attempt to do something they haven’t done once during this mercifully shortened season: win their fourth hockeypucks game in a row. If Winnipeg and Philadelphia win their games in regulation, the Sabres will suddenly find themselves one point removed from the final playoff spot with a game in front of 13,000 empty seats on deck Thursday night in the Everglades. Ten of their final fourteen games will be played at home and, despite all of this, some of you are despondent, downtrodden, terrified that they might win, that they might turn that puncher’s chance into a playoff berth.
Why is this case? Well the prevailing logic seems to be that the team is better served by finishing with a top three draft pick, buttressed by the sweeping assumption that if the Sabres sneak into the playoffs, Darcy Regier will be rewarded with keeping his job and this team will be thrown into some sort of perpetual mediocrity as true as our orbit around the sun. I can’t say I don’t understand this logic; the idea of giving this general manager a second crack under Pegula at assembling a roster would accomplish little more than hemorrhaging the fanbase and leaving us a few more years closer to death without a sniff at a cup. What I don’t understand is how people are willing to assume that this is black and white, that wins equal the general manager staying. Because drive-time radio pronounces it true? Because a WGR beat reporter who spent the entire football season telling you Chan Gailey wasn’t going anywhere is now saying the same about Darcy? Because TBN staff members that haven’t broken a team story since the Ford administration pronounce it true? For shame.
I don’t know what the owner thinks about the general manager’s future. Neither do you and neither do any of the local media. What I do know is management espoused a three-year plan to win a Stanley Cup (that has been shot to shit) and pledged to win multiple Stanley Cups under the new owner. I know the owner allowed or ordered the firing of a coach that had been involved with the team for the better part of three decades. I know that perennial eighth place finishes and first round exits are quite removed from the sixteen wins that it takes to win a championship. I know that no one who builds a business worth more than a billion dollars does so by accepting continuous underachievement and incompetence.
I also know that telling the fans that they’re being neglected, ignored and mistreated sells papers and ad space, and allows fans to wallow in the “woe is us” attitude that gets ingrained into your DNA at conception in this region. I know it’s the safe column to write, the safe position to take. I know Pominville, Vanek and Miller have contracts that expire after next season and the general manager himself has already bucked tradition and stated to local and national outlets that any changes that will be made will be focused on next season.
My point is that there’s at least enough empirical evidence to argue that the general manager is gone no matter what happens short of a conference finals appearance, right? There’s more than enough evidence to support the idea that columnists and radio hosts are trolling the fanbase by using Darcy as a boogeyman to get you to tune in or use one of your ten free page views (I’m not silly enough to assume any of our readers are also TBN subscribers).
Making it harder to accept even a slight run of success is the fact that we had finally embraced, welcomed the idea of hitting rock bottom. After half a decade of mediocrity this was going to be the year we finally said “fuck it,” and took the losses laughing instead of crying. We were ready, and then these, these ASSHOLES had to go and start winning! God can’t they do anything right!?
 The Outlander
This evening the Buffalo Sabres host the Boston Bruins in what will be the fifteenth game of a forty-eight game season. With the season nearly a third complete, they find themselves tied for not the division, not the six seed, not the eight-seed, but for dead last in the Eastern Conference. I have watched the “L”s string along on the schedule I keep on the wall at work, next to schedules of other teams with their own impressive collections of losses. We’ve all grown accustomed to the Sabres being a fairly “streaky” team with no shortage of peaks and valleys throughout the seasons, of a team that will run out to commanding division lead only to go .500 the rest of the way and get bounced in the first round (09-10), or a team that will piss all over themselves like a bro after his first night out in Canada for four months and then become the hottest team in the league on the valiant run to eighth place (10-12). They are four points away from eighth at the moment, could conceivably find themselves there by the time I return to the office on Monday. But they won't, and that's why I'm here.
I don’t apologize often, for what I’d like to think are two reasons. The first is that in recent history, the words coming from my mouth that I regret the most have been apologies, apologies that were not warranted or deserved, even in abstract form. The second is related and offered with a grain of salt- I just believe I’m wrong less often than other people. Many fields demand that from those they employ, mine is no different.
So it is with gritted teeth but sincere repentance that I apologize for ever believing that this team, with these players, with this coach could ever put together a shortened season that could be described as anything other than a soul-sucking death march to the draft. We’ve spent many words here at the deeg eviscerating Ralph for not firing Jauron when it was called for, not firing Gailey when it was called for. I called him a “villain from a Dickens novel” and published it right after he had fired the coach I was ripping on him for not firing.
 Ask how proud we are about "regionalism" Ralph Wilson turned his franchise into a sideshow, an embarrassment. Perhaps they always were and we were just born at the right time to think otherwise. But I think at this point it is only fair to begin taking an objective look at those pulling the levers at the foot of Washington Street, because 2007 is rapidly disappearing in our rear view mirror and if all you need to do for immunity in this town is commission a bronze statue and plop an admittedly wonderful complex steps from the waterfront, then we deserve to be ridiculed by other fans, we deserve to be irrelevant.
The eeriness of the similarities is becoming disconcerting and I wonder if Ted Black follows Buffalo’s other hapless franchise enough to see those similarities, or if he is too busy digging through his thesaurus for new ways to explain “Terry’s” dedication to winning a Stanley Cup. We all love a good orator; myself probably more than most, and we cannot deny- especially in light of the last occupant of the owner’s box- that money talks. Throwing godfather offers at Richards and Doan, upgrading the arena, putting up the Harbor Center if for no other reason than we don’t have to watch Carl Paladino erect some lifeless structure only a 1970’s East German architect could love, mean something. But “something” is as far as I’m willing to go anymore.
Ted Black has emerged as Russ Brandon 2.0, with a wardrobe upgrade and a new fan interaction feature. The talk remains about the brand, about how dedicated the owner is, how they communicate daily, how passionate he is to win and how distraught they are about the losses. Now I fully believe that Brandon is shoveling shit while Black is being at least more sincere, but the similarities of listening to these two men offer red herrings and parlor tricks to a disgruntled and desperate fan base is insulting. I’ll enjoy the Harbor Center as much as anyone, but Pegula can take the flaming tap water from “Gasland” and turn it into the fucking Bridal Veil Falls if it means there’s a parade down Delaware. I won’t fault this owner for not dealing with the Buffalo media given their current bullpen of hacks and has-beens, but that silence, pious as it may be, has a consequence to the fan base and that consequence is assumptions.
 RADIO!! The BarristerBack from a pretty long hiatus, the Deeg is back with another CrapTastiCast, and it's one some of you have been waiting for since Mr. White and I exchanged words over the NHL Lockout in October. We spoke about having Jeremy chat record with us at the time, but daddy duties and Hurricane recovery put this on the backburner until now. Perhaps that delay was for the best since, in the month and a half that has followed that initial twitter fight (God I feel so stupid typing that), Jeremy and I have had a chance to talk more about the lockout. While I wouldn't say we've reached any kind of consensus on those issues that got me so heated in October, it's become apparent that Jeremy is a civil dude (not always readily apparent on twitter... which could be said about many) and that civility plays itself out on what you'll listen to here. My apologies if you came here expecting nothing but our unbridled asshole shtick. Frankly, we care too much about the issues of the lockout to cave into our sophomoric tendencies - at least this time - especially when we have a guest willing to look beyond the fact that I may or may not have called him a equivocating hack/dickhole back in October. /rushes to delete Deeg archives /trips over beer cans /farts /forgets original task Which isn't to say that this CrapTastiCast is entirely devoid of those tendencies you've come to know and love. Along for the ride are The Scizz and The Continental. In addition to the lockout, we talk Bills, Jets, Mets, Knicks and stumble through a few completely inappropriate conversations about drugs in closets and Scizz's love for our 43rd President. If you're only interested in our talk with Jeremy, cue it to 15:55 and enjoy. Also - give yourself the finger from us since we think you should listen to the whole fucking thing. In addition to our usual intro, Deeg house band The Jambrones help us out with our first two musical interludes, while the rest is picked up by Audioslave and Brother Ali. Podcast page here. Direct download here. iTunes link below or Subscribe via our RSS feed here. And, of course, stream audio in the player below if you wish.
The Barrister
Last week, as my body deteriorated as it reacted to little sleep combined with a stomach bug combined with an impromptu visit to Elmhurst Medical Center, I reached my lowest point. Last night, as Mike Weber and Jordan Leopold looked utterly confused as to their respective purposes in life, and Ryan Miller was yet again run out of the net by a vastly superior team of ice hockey players, the Sabres followed suit.
As if it weren't clear, neither professional hockey teams nor 29 year old bodies are supposed to behave like this.
And while I have adjusted my sleep patterns and imbibed more than my fair share of fluids to right my own ship, I wonder just how much is being done to right what is so very, very wrong with our Buffalo Sabres.
Frankly, I fear that "nothing" may be pretty close to the truth.
What is becoming clear is that this season is a bust - the Sabres need to win roughly 70% of their games to even have a shot at the playoffs... that will not happen - and the only questions are whether we'll actually get any watchable, palatable hockey in the meantime, and whether organizational shakeups will happen sooner rather than later.
As to the first question, your guess is as good as mine. The team we've seen these past couple months is a shadow of its former self - the self which dug deep for a 7 seed last year and then pushed one of the East's best to the brink. I don't know if I've seen this team dig that deep since November, even for just a period. For a town that prides itself in its support for hard-working hockey, and for an organization which has sold itself as purposed towards a Cup above all else, this lack of on-ice passion is staggering and disheartening. And for a fanbase that tends to support its teams so long as the games are watchable competitions of relatively even sides, it shouldn't be that hard for the team to put together some decent hockey and give us a continuing reason to overdrink on weeknights. But, while it shouldn't be that hard, it apparently is. Say what you will about the pieces still missing from the roster - and there are PLENTY to speak of - but we all thought, at the very least, that they'd step out onto the ice and compete. Instead, they've simply folded, leaving us with a shitty product with shitty prospects for the future.
As for the organizational shakeups that are sure to come given the team's failure to achieve even the most basic of goals, I do hope that they come sooner rather than later. The caveat being, of course, that this season is an unchangeable turd sandwich with absolutely no realistic hope of salvation, so any shakeups we see need to be purposed towards the long term. With the disastrous results on Long Island and in Detroit these past two games, no reasonably thinking Sabres fan is looking for a splash that might turn this season around. But, since it's all too likely that the on-ice product will remain garbage, the least the team can do is start actively trying to find ways to make the team better for next year so that we fans can at least have that to cheer for. Most fans will ultimately be ok with waiting on that Cup run - hell, its been over 40 years, we can be patient for a couple more. But, even with that general willingness to be patient, we will have a hard time stomaching the developing feeling that the team is spiraling downwards with no legitimate hope of recovery on the horizon.
Which is exactly what watching this Sabres squad of underachieving, overhyped nancies has felt like. Putrid, vomuit-inducing shit heading further and further down the drain. And, sadly, for those who've been able to stomach it, you all know that this is far from hyperbole.
So, dearest Terry Pegula, you humble man of such extensive means - IT'S YOUR SHOW. We're all in for your master plan for this Sabres team, and we know it will take a little bit of time, but in the meantime we need you to show us something. We need you need to show us that, as much as we all love Lindy, you are beginning to understand - as we have - that he might not be the guy to take us to the promised land. We need you need to show us that, as well as he's played in the past, you see - as we have - that Ryan Miller is showing himself to be not quite up to the task of the Sabres #1 goaltender and might need to find a home elsewhere. And we need you need to show us that, as locked in to its farm system as this team has been over the last decade, you appreciate - as we have - that there might be another, easier, quicker road to a Cup victory than sticking by our "core" through thick and thin, and that there's no shame in admitting that the philosophy of the franchise you took over might need some major tweaking.
The fragile sports psyche of the Buffalo fan, promised time and again that progress is coming, only to be served the same shit sandwich from its teams year after year, needs this all more than ever right now.
Terry, again - IT'S YOUR SHOW.
The Barrister
This may change. But, for now, Ville Leino - Sabre Killer - will be donning the Blue and Gold next season, and beyond. Brad Richards is a Ranger, the Sabres are right up against the Cap with roster spots left to fill, and we're left in the lurch for a little bit.
I didn't watch Game 6 live. Or, at all. I was listening on WGR at an Easter party, somehow having allowed my wife to win the day. The rest of the crew was in Hoboken, with the Scizz's family, and while I was jealous at the time, the way the game played out made me feel a little better. I didn't piss off my wife and even though I was still deeply entrenched in the heartbreak of that loss, somehow the fact that I didn't actually see it made it a little easier to stomach. Well, that and the absurd amounts of liquor and delicious treats at the Easter party.
For that reason, Ville Leino's signing with the Sabres did not carry as much emotional impact for me. In fact, it wasn't until I heard reporting about the deal yesterday that I actually learned who scored that OT winner in Game 6. As soon as RJ began the goal call that day, I remember immediately closing WGR on my phone and tossing it in my pocket. I wasn't going to live through another second, and somehow I could pretend it didn't happen if it only lasted a split-second.
Such is the neuroses of yours truly. I've gotten better at with years of practice.
As the twitter-followers amongst you may know, the DGWU Crew took to the bar last night, like we do, and were joined by @JoeBuffaloWins and @davekellynyc. Our own little Sabres tweetup, if you will. When we planned this impromptu venture, our spirits were high. The Sabres had just signed Ehrhoff, and after the signings of Regehr and Gerbe and Stafford, my god we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. And with the Brad RIchards sweepstakes about to start the next day, our eyes were getting really big. Pegula had brought this bizarre and, frankly, disconcerting sense of entitlement to this off-season, and we were ready to get the big fish. We convinced ourselves that these deals were setting up the kill of B Rich, and boy did we want to believe it.
 Enjoy not getting a Cup, dick Yesterday worked out a little differently after all was said and done. After feeling as joyous and ready to make a Cup run as we were Thursday morning, we fans are now scrambling to justify a new set of emotions by the time evening hit. And, with those emotions shifting and evolving over the course of the day yesterday, a lot of us found ourselves taking positions opposite ones we had held only minutes before.
Such is the neuroses of the Sabres fan base. Again, years of practice.
The good news, after we cut through all the self-serving justifications of our own positions, is that the Sabres are likely not done. Darcy made it clear in the Leino signing presser that there were deals left to make, trades to work out, and that the remaining time this summer will surely be give us fans more news to dissect and dwell upon. In fact, with only $1.3 million in cap space left, and only 19 players under contract, you can all but guarantee that something will happen to shake up the team a little bit more.
But, after all the focus on a 1st line center, and with the Sabres blogosphere making it abundantly clear that this was the priority in the off-season, what if that upgrade isn't out there? What if this is what we got for 2011-12 - Roy, Leino, Hecht, Goose, Adam? Can our dreams of a Cup survive with those bodies centering our lines? Do we even buy that Leino can still play the position after giving it up completely at the NHL level? Sure, Lindy seemed confident in that fact yesterday during the presser, but this is also the same master of obfuscation that gives us half-truth injury reports. I want to believe Lindy, and hell, I actually like Leino a lot. But, after dreaming big for the past week, I think we're all entitled to feel a little down.
Even so, the fact is that so many of the moments of depression over missing out on Richards are largely off-set by the following points: (1) The Sabres are better now than they were last week, (2) The Sabres have established themselves as a destination for top-tier talent in the league, (3) every player in the league is coming to realize how much Pegula cares about making this team better (see comments from Regehr, Ehrhoff and Leino re: how much Terry had learned about each of them before making his pitch), and (4) Brad Richards will NEVER win a Cup in New York. See? Don't you feel better?
So, with deals to still be done - out of necessity, really - we fans can rest easy that this team will keep getting better and keep getting closer to being a Cup contender over the next month or two. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if something happened in the moments that it takes me to finish up this post (I just checked....disappointed I wasn't right on that one...). Maybe they won't get that first line center after all, but maybe that guy will be out there next year, or maybe via trade during the season. But, even though our short-term dreams have been dashed, we're still living in a new reality of possibilities for this team and its future. And, as I often say, we're not in the room when these deals are made, but for the first time in years I am resting easy and have surplus of confidence in the team's front office.
On our walk west down 33rd street from Rattle N Hum last night, Joe from Buffalo Wins and I chatted a little bit about this new-found optimism, and I took the opportunity to StreetCast the conversation. You can check it out here:
Our dreams are still alive and well, just adjusted a little bit. This is going to be a GREAT year for the Sabres and for us fans. Let's Go Buffalo.
In honor of a dear friend who texted me last night, and also in honor of the Friendship Festival (does that still happen?? The google says IT DOES), I'll take us out with some levity from one of my favorite Canadian, Moxy Früvous, who found a second home in Buffalo over the years, and who I also saw play the Festival in 1997 or so. Miss you guys, and miss you Herm. I do not, however, miss '90s fashion. Yikes.
 I guess I'm sticking with the creepy, sexual offender-looking reviewers in this installment. The ScizzWelcome to the continuation of my 2011 summer movie preview. This week I take a look at the major releases of June, but of course with a Sabres twist. I got some great feedback from people about my May preview, and as it turns out, there are many nerd/Sabres fans out there. It is pretty cool that I can talk to complete strangers about comic book movies, hockey, and Dr. Who all in the same conversation. Also, my girlfriend just cringed after reading that last sentence. Hi Honey! On to the movies!
X-Men:First Class - June 3rd
Ennis, Gerbe, Myers, Gragnani, Weber, & Enroth  We should all be familiar with the X-Men film franchise now (but I’ll forgive you if you block out Last Stand and I’ll punch you if you try to make me remember Wolverine). As a huge fan of the comics growing up, I always loved the idea of this group of misfits with super powers that have to come together for the better of their kind and the safety of the world. In the latest installment from Kick-Ass director Mathew Vaughn, we have a prequel that tells of the beginning of the young X-Men coming together for the first time. So could there be anything else to do here but compare this young group of powerful mutants with the up and coming youth surge of the Buffalo Sabres. I know I have already used Tyler Myers and Nathan Gerbe in the May preview, but add in Tyler Ennis, Marc-Andre Gragnani, Mike Weber and Jhonas Enroth , and you have a formidable team coming together to achieve a common goal….world peace. Wait, I meant a Stanley Cup. Sorry about that, I get my comic and sports priorities messed up sometimes. Also in comparison, Tim Kennedy is Magneto. I have no evidence to support that statement.
Super 8 - June 10th
Cody McCormick  I had to go with the Yachtsman personal favorite Cody McCormick here. Yes, the only obvious connection is the number 8, but you damn well better believe that if the Sabres bring Cody back, I’m referring to him as Super 8 all season. Especially if this film is as good as I think it is. I have to say that despite being a total comic book nerd (5 comic book movies this summer), I am looking most forward to J.J. Abrams’ Spielbergian tale of mystery. In a similarly odd way, despite the more well known current players and free agents out there right now, I’m also really looking forward to the re-signing of Cody McCormick. Ever since he was called up for the 2010 playoffs, I think he has been one of the Sabres most consistent players. He plays hard, fights hard, and does exactly what you want from a solid 4th line player. He played in 81 games, finished with career highs in goals, assists, points, and shots on goal. Not to mention his 142 penalty minutes and willingness to drop the gloves. Both the film and the player are sleeper hits.
Green Lantern - June 17th
Terry Pegula  Back to the comics. Green Lantern tells the story of an Air Force pilot named Hal Jordan that is chosen by a group of cosmic beings to possess a powerful ring. This ring gives him superpowers and allows him to protect the universe. I know I keep on making these silly comic to Sabres connections, but this one really jumped out at me. Why? In 2011, a Pennslyvania billionaire named Terry Pegula is motivated by his Buffalo-native wife and his love of hockey to purchase the Buffalo Sabres. Using his powerful checkbook, he will be able to bring in/keep superstar players that will lead the franchise to a Stanley Cup. This is fun and yes, I am a huge dork.
Bad Teacher - June 24th
Drew Stafford  My initial instinct was to use former captain Craig Rivet here, but after re-watching the trailer for this R-rated comedy, I changed my mind. The synopsis of the film is that the Cameron Diaz character is a shitty teacher who under-achieves because she has a rich fiancé and doesn’t value her job. When she gets dumped, she panics and tries to win over a substitute-teacher (played by some guy from N’Sync) who is also rich, so she can be set again financially. She attempts to achieve this by becoming a better teacher, with the eventual plan of going back to being “bad” again. I already know I am going to take some shit for this one, and let me first say that I am not against the idea of resigning Drew Stafford. HOWEVER, you have to admit he has been frustrating to watch over the past couple of seasons due to inconsistency, and this huge burst in offense we witnessed (had he been healthy all year, he would have easily lead the team in goals) has to make you think. I hate contract years. Is this a new Drew Stafford that will become an offensive juggernaut? Or will he revert back to a 14 goal season after he gets a new, lucrative deal? And why is Jason Segal in this movie? He needs to focus on The Muppets!Sidenote: This movie actually doesn't look all that great, but go to the 1:53 mark for one of the best scenes from any trailer I have seen so far this year. Classic.
That does it for the June installment of my previews. Check back within the next week for my look at July, which features a douche-bag with a jacket over his shoulder, a cartoon classic, the TRUE Captain America, and more than meets the eye. Remember to follow me on twitter @TheScizz and @DGWUSports.
 This is exactly how we all felt Sunday morning while recording episode #5 Welcome everyone to episode number FIVE of the DGWU CrapTastiCast. Despite all of us either being sick, having allergy attacks, or being hungover we pulled together on a bright Sunday morning to record for your listening pleasure. With our faces burning off, we sniffled and thriller danced our way our way through many Buffalo related sports topics including the sadness of the Sabres game 7 loss, the bright future of the young players, another epic Pegula/Ted Black press conference, the end of the Connolly era, the thrill of meeting our hero Andre Reed, half-assed Buffalo Bills draft analysis, FC Buffalo, and much, much more! Megsie jumps in for some swiss tour guide commentary and Mondee never made it off the couch, but we get along just fine. Miss ya big guy! As always you can download the podcast through iTUNES and Libsyn (please subscribe if you haven't already).
You can stream our sexy, sophisticated, and nerdiculous voices right below too! Enjoy our zombified-selves!
 This picture inspires Lee Greenwood The ScizzI hope everybody had a chance to download or listen to CrapTastiCast episode #2 today. But if you need more Sabres talk, look no futher (actually you probably will want to look a lot further), because The Scizz is here for your gameday and comedy needs! A few things that need to be discussed: First, it looks as if Jordan Leopold will be playing tonight. Great news, since Montador has been playing like garbage and Morrisonn (why do you need an extra N, Shaone??) has not been much better. Hopefully the Big #3 can provide a spark and some leadership to these youngster defensemen. Also, Pronger is out again!!!!!!!! and Boucher will start in net because Bobrovsky apparently does not even have his own locker in the LOCKER-room today. Ouch. Second, please go right over to twitter and look at the hash-tag #untruebrierefacts. High comedy at its best. Here are some of the highlights: -"Danny Briere actually DID start the fire." -"Danny Briere loves that Raffi Torres is trending on Twitter." -"Danny Briere gave Jay McKee a staph infection" -"Danny Briere's favorite Star Wars movie is "The Phantom Menace" -"Danny Briere was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner." Third, how handsome is Ryan Miller? I mean look at that photo. I feel like at any moment a Bald Eagle is going to soar down and land on his should while lighting strikes the background and "I'm proud to be an American" starts blaring across the country. As mentioned above, if you do not cheer for Miller tonight then there is a 97% chance you are in Al-Qaeda. Finally, since this is maybe the worst gameday preview in the history of sports blogs (wait nevermind, Colin Cowherd is still alive), you should go check out Zachary's preview of game three over Die by the Blade, and also Scotty's post on Brad Boyes over at Buffalo74. Both are fantastic reads. And starting at 3pm, Terry Pegula will be on WGR, followed by Rob Ray at 4pm and Jerry Sullivan at 5pm, although by the time Razor finishes up I'll be on my way for some pre-game cocktails with The Barrister. In honor of The Yachtsman tweet from earlier, here is some De La Soul for your ears. Have a great night everybody and as always, SABRES ON THE WARPATH!!!!
 Silky Johnson, 2002's Hater of the Year. The Yachtsman
Warning to all you loveable, soft-hearted Buffalonians who read this blog: this post is covered in Haterade of the Brooklyn kind. Buyer beware.
Alright Buffalo. I've stayed away from one of these posts at the behest of my colleagues because they insist that I'm a professional hater. I tried to not write this. It's been a month or so since he took over the franchise, and I've only muttered these types of thoughts at the end of several pints. I've tried so hard to not be the Debbie Downer, but DAMN IT Y'ALL MADE ME DO IT I CAN'T STOP IT ANYMORE. THE HATE FLOWS FROM MY VEINS LIKE ANAKIN AFTER HE SMOKED THAT VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE!
 MANY BOTHANS DIED FOR THIS POST! This. Shit. Has Got To Stop. I bit my tongue when he cried at the press conference because everyone was digging it. I stayed away from the weirdos obsessing over the daughters and their respective twittage because....well because I stay away from subtle pedophilia like it's AIDS. I stayed away from basically all of Pegula-mania because I just want owners to own, players to play, and teams to fucking win cups. But this birthday shit......this hater CANNOT abide. In the words of my TV doppelganger:  This is a $6,400 suit! COME ON! I understand everyone is pumped about an underachieving shyte of a team underwhelming themselves to an 8th seed when teams above them with half the talent are cruising to playoff berths or division championships (COUGH - THE BRUINS COUGH COUGH - THE RANGERS). I get that. I get that a billionaire decided his sunset years would be spent questing for the Sabres to get a cup. I get that, and fuck I love it too. But seriously. The guy changed the carpeting in the lockerroom, ditched the slug, and put up a suggestion box. We didn't go out and get Brad Richards. We're not smashing our way to a 1 seed. All we did was start operating like the other 90% of the league. WHEN HE WINS CUPS, I WILL SING. UNTIL THEN LET US NOT ACT LIKE JESUS RAINED MONEY ON DOWN FROM HIGH WITH WHICH WE ARE TO BATHE OUR GRUNDELS.
God love you Buffalo, act like you've been here before.
See? Haterade. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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