The Scizz

Before I jump into the sadness that is another Buffalo Bills' draft class, let me set a scene for you.  As some of you may know, I work in education.  I will not say exactly what I do or where I do it, but keep in mind that is what I do for a "real" living.  I actually really enjoy it 99.9% of the time. I am one of those jerks that truly loves what they do. However, days like today, I decidely want to jump out of a window.  Why, you may ask?  Several reasons: It is currently 68 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous.  It is St. Patrick's Day and I am very Irish.  It is also the first full day of the NCAA tournament, which as The Apologist put it, is the first day of the greatest sports month of the year.  Where am I?  At my school until 10pm tonight because Parent-Teacher conferences (which only happen twice-a-year) are scheduled for this evening.  That my friends is an EPIC FAIL.  But I'll stop bitchin' and continue onto the....uh....other kind of bitchin'.

THE 2007 DRAFT:

7th round:  C.J. Ah You - Defensive End - Oklahoma

Awesome name.  My high school buddy Nate was most excited about this pick, just for the possibilities after he made a big play:  Aaaaaaaaaaah Youuuuuuuuuuuuu!  But alas, it was not to be.  C.J. was cut before the season began.  In fact, he was one of the very first players cut in the very beginning of training camp.  Bad pick, right?  Nope.  C.J. was picked up as an injury replacement mid-2009 by the St. Louis Rams and has gone on to become a fantastic 3rd down pass rusher.  In spot situations this past season, C.J. racked up four sacks on a surprisingly strong St. Louis defense.  How many did Chris Kelsay have this season as a full-time starter?  3.5.  Better give him an extension.

7th round:  Derek Schouman - Fullback/Tight End - Boise State

Derek came out to Buffalo after being one of the heroes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in which Boise State shocked Oklahoma.  You may also remember the post-game in which Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend.  (Sidenote: The Scizz's better half was best friends in high school with said cheerleader's cousin!  Pathetic name-drop!)  Moving on, Schouman never amounted to anything in Buffalo, besides a very strong opening game in 2009 that ended in a horrific knee-injury.  He also now resides in St. Louis.  I sense a pattern.

6th round:  John Wendling - Safety - Wyoming

Meh.  He was a solid gunner on kick-offs and punts for three years, but when it was time for a new contract, the Bills decided to move-on (which is what Buffalo tends to do with long-snappers too).  I'm pretty indifferent.  However, he did do this once:

FACT: The Buffalo Bills special teams coaches attempted to have John jump opposing offensive lines in order to block kicks.  FACT:  It never worked.

4th Round - Dwayne Wright - Running Back - Fresno State

Remember this guy?  Of course you don't.  He had a forgetful rookie season and was cut before the 2008 season due to fumble issues.  Since then his career has included being waived by the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, and the Hartford Colonials of the UFL.  He is now on the Toronto Argonauts' practice squad.  Ouch.

3rd Round - Trent Edwards - Quarterback - Stanford

Fuck this guy for three reasons:
1.) For his ability to hold onto the ball in the pocket longer than Rob Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, and J.P. Losman COMBINED.
2.) For his career stat line of 30 INTs'-to-26 TDs, 60.5 comp %, and 75,4 passer rating
3.) For actually convincing me at one point during the 2008 season that he was the real deal and would lead us to the promise land that is the playoffs.  NO PICTURE FOR YOU, YOU HANDSOME SONUVABITCH!!!!

As you may have noticed, none of these players are currently on the roster.  There are two more woooooooonderful selections left, but since I had to stay at my school until 10 p.m., and I am absolutely dying for a Guinness and Bushmills shot, those will have to wait for this weekend.  So good news for you! A draft special addendum this weekend for everyone to enjoy! (which according to website statistics, is when only girlfriends and immediate family reads our site)  Oh well, I hope you read it, because I'm writing it bitches.

It's funny what a difference two weeks can make in the NFL.  Yesterday's selection of team captains for the 2010 season should have been the simple end to a Bills offseason in which the team drew up a plan to attain their goal and end their streak of seasons without a trip to the playoffs.  Instead, it comes across as a fairly meaningless act following a month of turmoil and uncertainty for team with a season probably headed nowhere pretty.

Still, the players got together and decided that Lee Evans and Brian Moorman would be two of their team captains for the fourth year in a row.  Joining Evans and Moorman for their respective units will be second-year captains Trent Edwards and safety George Wilson.  Linebackers Paul Posluszny and Kawika Mitchell will captain the defense.

If I there's something worth reading into any of these selections, it's the choices on defense.  Noticeably absent from the captainship are defensive end Aaron Schobel and safety Donte Whitner.  While they certainly haven't been big playmakers in the last few seasons, Schobel and Whitner have been seemingly the most vocal leaders of the locker room from a spectator's perspective.  But beginning last year and through this offseason, both men have come under fire for not delivering on the expectations they helped build up through their actions and words (or lack thereof).

Could their really be a changing of the guard in the locker room?  Have I not just been apologizing as usual for Poz?  Remember, this is a guy whose real rookie season was last year.  Maybe he'll never be the Urlacher-caliber linebacker we were all hoping for physically, but perhaps he's ready to be closer to it mentally.  If there were one unquestionable leader, holding the defense accountable and truly leading this team on the field (which there obviously hasn't been the last three years AND YES, DICK, I'M INCLUDING YOU MOST OF ALL IN THAT HEAD COUNT), then maybe this defense will actually be able to make some of those big stops we've needed at the ends of games over the years!!

[Sidenote: I will probably be typing in ALL CAPS every time I talk to Dick this year since I can't even imagine talking with him without shouting in his face.  I mean... You're gonna cut Langston Walker, then offer a contract to basically the same guy, but not until Tuesday, cuz then his contract won't be guaranteed through the season, so instead you're gonna send some poor rookie out to slaughter, care of one of the nastiest d-line's in the NFL?  Say what you will about their linebackers and secondary, that d-line still has Ty Warren and Vince Wilfork.

(AP) - Bills backup tight end Derek Fine and nickel cornerback Drayton Florence are likely to miss Buffalo’s season opener Monday night at New England.

Fine has been nursing a hamstring injury, while Florence injured his knee in the Bills’ second preseason game against the Chicago Bears. Both players were held out of practice on Friday.

Reserve defensive tackle Spencer Johnson was limited in practice on Friday for the second day in a row because of a bruised thigh, but coach Dick Jauron said he’s hopeful Johnson can play Monday.