Anybody else have the feeling our kids will be speaking Chinese fluently in 30 years?
The Scizz
Before I jump into the sadness that is another Buffalo Bills' draft class, let me set a scene for you. As some of you may know, I work in education. I will not say exactly what I do or where I do it, but keep in mind that is what I do for a "real" living. I actually really enjoy it 99.9% of the time. I am one of those jerks that truly loves what they do. However, days like today, I decidely want to jump out of a window. Why, you may ask? Several reasons: It is currently 68 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous. It is St. Patrick's Day and I am very Irish. It is also the first full day of the NCAA tournament, which as The Apologist put it, is the first day of the greatest sports month of the year. Where am I? At my school until 10pm tonight because Parent-Teacher conferences (which only happen twice-a-year) are scheduled for this evening. That my friends is an EPIC FAIL. But I'll stop bitchin' and continue onto the....uh....other kind of bitchin'.
THE 2007 DRAFT:
Before I jump into the sadness that is another Buffalo Bills' draft class, let me set a scene for you. As some of you may know, I work in education. I will not say exactly what I do or where I do it, but keep in mind that is what I do for a "real" living. I actually really enjoy it 99.9% of the time. I am one of those jerks that truly loves what they do. However, days like today, I decidely want to jump out of a window. Why, you may ask? Several reasons: It is currently 68 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous. It is St. Patrick's Day and I am very Irish. It is also the first full day of the NCAA tournament, which as The Apologist put it, is the first day of the greatest sports month of the year. Where am I? At my school until 10pm tonight because Parent-Teacher conferences (which only happen twice-a-year) are scheduled for this evening. That my friends is an EPIC FAIL. But I'll stop bitchin' and continue onto the....uh....other kind of bitchin'.
THE 2007 DRAFT:
7th round: C.J. Ah You - Defensive End - Oklahoma
Awesome name. My high school buddy Nate was most excited about this pick, just for the possibilities after he made a big play: Aaaaaaaaaaah Youuuuuuuuuuuuu! But alas, it was not to be. C.J. was cut before the season began. In fact, he was one of the very first players cut in the very beginning of training camp. Bad pick, right? Nope. C.J. was picked up as an injury replacement mid-2009 by the St. Louis Rams and has gone on to become a fantastic 3rd down pass rusher. In spot situations this past season, C.J. racked up four sacks on a surprisingly strong St. Louis defense. How many did Chris Kelsay have this season as a full-time starter? 3.5. Better give him an extension.
Awesome name. My high school buddy Nate was most excited about this pick, just for the possibilities after he made a big play: Aaaaaaaaaaah Youuuuuuuuuuuuu! But alas, it was not to be. C.J. was cut before the season began. In fact, he was one of the very first players cut in the very beginning of training camp. Bad pick, right? Nope. C.J. was picked up as an injury replacement mid-2009 by the St. Louis Rams and has gone on to become a fantastic 3rd down pass rusher. In spot situations this past season, C.J. racked up four sacks on a surprisingly strong St. Louis defense. How many did Chris Kelsay have this season as a full-time starter? 3.5. Better give him an extension.
7th round: Derek Schouman - Fullback/Tight End - Boise State
Derek came out to Buffalo after being one of the heroes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in which Boise State shocked Oklahoma. You may also remember the post-game in which Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. (Sidenote: The Scizz's better half was best friends in high school with said cheerleader's cousin! Pathetic name-drop!) Moving on, Schouman never amounted to anything in Buffalo, besides a very strong opening game in 2009 that ended in a horrific knee-injury. He also now resides in St. Louis. I sense a pattern.
Derek came out to Buffalo after being one of the heroes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in which Boise State shocked Oklahoma. You may also remember the post-game in which Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. (Sidenote: The Scizz's better half was best friends in high school with said cheerleader's cousin! Pathetic name-drop!) Moving on, Schouman never amounted to anything in Buffalo, besides a very strong opening game in 2009 that ended in a horrific knee-injury. He also now resides in St. Louis. I sense a pattern.
6th round: John Wendling - Safety - Wyoming
Meh. He was a solid gunner on kick-offs and punts for three years, but when it was time for a new contract, the Bills decided to move-on (which is what Buffalo tends to do with long-snappers too). I'm pretty indifferent. However, he did do this once:
Meh. He was a solid gunner on kick-offs and punts for three years, but when it was time for a new contract, the Bills decided to move-on (which is what Buffalo tends to do with long-snappers too). I'm pretty indifferent. However, he did do this once:
FACT: The Buffalo Bills special teams coaches attempted to have John jump opposing offensive lines in order to block kicks. FACT: It never worked.
4th Round - Dwayne Wright - Running Back - Fresno State
Remember this guy? Of course you don't. He had a forgetful rookie season and was cut before the 2008 season due to fumble issues. Since then his career has included being waived by the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, and the Hartford Colonials of the UFL. He is now on the Toronto Argonauts' practice squad. Ouch.
Remember this guy? Of course you don't. He had a forgetful rookie season and was cut before the 2008 season due to fumble issues. Since then his career has included being waived by the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, and the Hartford Colonials of the UFL. He is now on the Toronto Argonauts' practice squad. Ouch.
3rd Round - Trent Edwards - Quarterback - Stanford
Fuck this guy for three reasons:
1.) For his ability to hold onto the ball in the pocket longer than Rob Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, and J.P. Losman COMBINED.
2.) For his career stat line of 30 INTs'-to-26 TDs, 60.5 comp %, and 75,4 passer rating
3.) For actually convincing me at one point during the 2008 season that he was the real deal and would lead us to the promise land that is the playoffs. NO PICTURE FOR YOU, YOU HANDSOME SONUVABITCH!!!!
Fuck this guy for three reasons:
1.) For his ability to hold onto the ball in the pocket longer than Rob Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, and J.P. Losman COMBINED.
2.) For his career stat line of 30 INTs'-to-26 TDs, 60.5 comp %, and 75,4 passer rating
3.) For actually convincing me at one point during the 2008 season that he was the real deal and would lead us to the promise land that is the playoffs. NO PICTURE FOR YOU, YOU HANDSOME SONUVABITCH!!!!
As you may have noticed, none of these players are currently on the roster. There are two more woooooooonderful selections left, but since I had to stay at my school until 10 p.m., and I am absolutely dying for a Guinness and Bushmills shot, those will have to wait for this weekend. So good news for you! A draft special addendum this weekend for everyone to enjoy! (which according to website statistics, is when only girlfriends and immediate family reads our site) Oh well, I hope you read it, because I'm writing it bitches.
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