Introducing High Character Fridays!

05/08/2009

The Scizz
feat. Breezy

Welcome folks, to a new weekly feature here at DGWUS.... High Character Fridays!

Remember when Marv said he was bringing in high character players? Yeah, us too. Listen, we here at DGWUS loooove us some Marv Levy, but that whole process hasn't panned out too well. First, Marshawn decided to show us his excellent driving ability. 9 months later, he displayed his support of the N.R.A. In between those incidents, there was Ko simply being an asshole, followed by our beloved captain Donte Whitner doing his best Andrew Meyer impression.

Every Friday until the start of the season we will be featuring a different Buffalo Bill's player/coach/employee, and what their probable arrest will be. The DGWUS crew, as well as special guests, will be taking aim. Enjoy!

Our first post is brought to you by long time DGWUS pal, Breezy. A former high-school classmate of The Scizz, and proud model of Zubaz Bills pants every Sunday during the NFl season. Take it away Breezy:

So I've figured out which Bill will be arrested next.

It will in fact be the one trying to calm everything down with the media... coach Dick Jauron.

Jauron will be stopped in a routine traffic incident (most likely driving too slowly on an interstate), but will be taken into custody for driving with a stolen license. Though the cops see that the name on the license reads Dick Jauron, they are certain that they have pulled over the Crypt Keeper from HBO's series Tales from the Crypt, airing from June 10, 1989 through July 19, 1996. Based on this, they have no choice but to assume the license is stolen.

The charges become more serious when a search of the automobile reveals that he has been peddling an illegal mood stabilizing drug. The drug provides the user a blissfully, even-keeled feeling, best described as 'just short of mediocrity'. The street name of the drug is 7 and 9.