The Apologist
This week is the first week where the game because a nagging necessity. You're fed up with this season: with the players, the coaches, the owner, everything. But the game is still there, staring you in the face. It's on primetime for God's sake. Although, "primetime" isn't exactly a word I'd use with much sincerity at this point. Lord knows if the NFL had a flex schedule for the Thursday games, we would've gotten bumped faster than Chan can abandon the running game. (BOOM goes the explosive commentary!)
This week is the first week where the game because a nagging necessity. You're fed up with this season: with the players, the coaches, the owner, everything. But the game is still there, staring you in the face. It's on primetime for God's sake. Although, "primetime" isn't exactly a word I'd use with much sincerity at this point. Lord knows if the NFL had a flex schedule for the Thursday games, we would've gotten bumped faster than Chan can abandon the running game. (BOOM goes the explosive commentary!)
We miss you, Bryce.
Lately it seems fans remember the age of dominating the AFC East as fondly as they do the Super Bowl trips. Even when the Fins had one of the greatest QBs of all time, we'd regularly thrash them and send them back to Miami with their flippers between their legs. This game used to mean a lot to us. There was a time when the games against the Dolphins were considered some of the biggest of the year, back when it was a serious rivalry. Or should I say, back when we were both competitive enough for the games to mean something. Now all they seem to be good for is deciding which team sucks less.
Still, finishing strong in the division is one of the few attainable goals left for this team. Two (relatively) strong showings against the Pats and 3 wins against the Jets & Fins would at least show we're not completely incompetent. Not that we aren't. It'd just be nice to be able to delude ourselves for a little while longer.
Shitty Analysis
1) Stop Reggie Bush. When these two teams met last December, Reggie Bush ran for 203 yards. And after getting benched last weekend for fumbling on the Fins' second possession, you know he'll be running angry tonight, which spells trouble for the worst run defense in the league. It seems somewhat futile to expect this defensive unit to turn around their woeful performance, but playing at home against a team on short rest has to play into their favor. Right?
2) Aside from T.J.'s poorly run route, the offense had it's best game of the season last weekend, most notably their 35 first downs. THIRTY FIVE! I can't remember the last time they even sniffed 30 first downs. So whatever got them their, please Lord, keep doing. Except for, of course…
3) …DEAR GOD, RUN THE BALL! C.J. Spiller has yet to have 20 carries this season. NOT ONCE! And I know Chan will be extra nervous going against the league's 5th best run defense, but they also have a monstrous pash rusher in Cameron Wake (8.5 sacks on the season, almost half of what the Bills collectively), so we the worst thing we could do is give up the run after two quarters and ask Fitzpatrick to throw the ball 40 times.
But that's probably what we'll do. We're awesome like that.
Playlist Additions To Fire You Up
DJ DangerMouse - Encore. This one is for the offense. We need more of what they gave us last weekend. I know that sounds strange considering we lost, but as I said, sadly it was our best team effort of the season. And either way, this song kicks ass. If you weren't conscious of the Grey Album when it came out, you need to learn yourself quick and this is a great place to start.
Busted - The Black Keys. I know we've had a few Black Keys tunes on the "Fired Up" playlists this season, but they rock. So, deal with it.
Elliot Smith - Coast to Coast. This might raise a few eyebrows. In my defense, this is the only song of his I've ever gotten really into, because it's awesome. I can't quite put my finger on any one reason why, but I know when I need to get the juices flowing, this song does the trick every time.
(Insert dirty "juices flowing" joke here. INTERACTIVE BLOGGING, YOU GUYS!)
Still, finishing strong in the division is one of the few attainable goals left for this team. Two (relatively) strong showings against the Pats and 3 wins against the Jets & Fins would at least show we're not completely incompetent. Not that we aren't. It'd just be nice to be able to delude ourselves for a little while longer.
Shitty Analysis
1) Stop Reggie Bush. When these two teams met last December, Reggie Bush ran for 203 yards. And after getting benched last weekend for fumbling on the Fins' second possession, you know he'll be running angry tonight, which spells trouble for the worst run defense in the league. It seems somewhat futile to expect this defensive unit to turn around their woeful performance, but playing at home against a team on short rest has to play into their favor. Right?
2) Aside from T.J.'s poorly run route, the offense had it's best game of the season last weekend, most notably their 35 first downs. THIRTY FIVE! I can't remember the last time they even sniffed 30 first downs. So whatever got them their, please Lord, keep doing. Except for, of course…
3) …DEAR GOD, RUN THE BALL! C.J. Spiller has yet to have 20 carries this season. NOT ONCE! And I know Chan will be extra nervous going against the league's 5th best run defense, but they also have a monstrous pash rusher in Cameron Wake (8.5 sacks on the season, almost half of what the Bills collectively), so we the worst thing we could do is give up the run after two quarters and ask Fitzpatrick to throw the ball 40 times.
But that's probably what we'll do. We're awesome like that.
Playlist Additions To Fire You Up
DJ DangerMouse - Encore. This one is for the offense. We need more of what they gave us last weekend. I know that sounds strange considering we lost, but as I said, sadly it was our best team effort of the season. And either way, this song kicks ass. If you weren't conscious of the Grey Album when it came out, you need to learn yourself quick and this is a great place to start.
Busted - The Black Keys. I know we've had a few Black Keys tunes on the "Fired Up" playlists this season, but they rock. So, deal with it.
Elliot Smith - Coast to Coast. This might raise a few eyebrows. In my defense, this is the only song of his I've ever gotten really into, because it's awesome. I can't quite put my finger on any one reason why, but I know when I need to get the juices flowing, this song does the trick every time.
(Insert dirty "juices flowing" joke here. INTERACTIVE BLOGGING, YOU GUYS!)
HIGH FIV-vaauuhh, oops, ummm. Nevermind.
Random Buffalo Bill of the Week
Travis Brown
Travis Brown
The sad thing is that I know people will recognize this name. The guy played in a total of 3 games over 2 seasons with the Bills and started 0 of them. So why does he even show up in the statistics? In 2001, he was our last ditch effort after giving up on Rob Johnson and not quite being ready for the AVP era. In 2003, it was Drew Bledsoe who needed bailing out. We're awesome at picking quarterbacks. The point is, this is what happens when you screw this choice up time after time after time. Eventually the games get harder and harder to watch and people start looking down the bench and say, "Hey, what can that guy do?" Travis didn't fair much better than anyone other man to line up under center and even he had to know his snaps stank of desperation. There may come a time when our backup quarterback can walk the sidelines unrecognized, but sadly, that day is probably a long way off.
Trivia Time: Of the four quarterbacks I just mentioned, one is a coach, two work at QB Camps for kids, and one runs a vineyard. Can you guess which guy walked away from anything having to do with football? Spoiler alert: The winemaker is the guy whose last play as a Bill was throwing the ball away on 4th down. YOUR WINE PROBABLY SUCKS WORSE THAN YOUR POCKET PRESENCE, DREW!
Nailed it.
Best/Worst Twitter Account
DGWUSports - SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION. Whatever, we'll be tweeting about the game as it happens. Sure we won't have anything insightful to say, but since when has twitter been used for anything substantial.
Trivia Time: Of the four quarterbacks I just mentioned, one is a coach, two work at QB Camps for kids, and one runs a vineyard. Can you guess which guy walked away from anything having to do with football? Spoiler alert: The winemaker is the guy whose last play as a Bill was throwing the ball away on 4th down. YOUR WINE PROBABLY SUCKS WORSE THAN YOUR POCKET PRESENCE, DREW!
Nailed it.
Best/Worst Twitter Account
DGWUSports - SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION. Whatever, we'll be tweeting about the game as it happens. Sure we won't have anything insightful to say, but since when has twitter been used for anything substantial.
Oh, yeah. That.
Predictions
Top Stat Line of the Week: Stevie Johnson, 11 catches, 134 yards, 2 TDs
Ok, ok. I'll admit this is more wishful thinking than anything else. But Stevie is due for a huge game and I'll give you $20 if you can name one guy who plays in the secondary for the Fins. It's at home. It's primetime. Ryan's coming off his best week of the year. Do work, Stevie.
Garbage Pail Stat Line of the Week: Mario Williams, 0.5 sacks, 3 tackles
This would bring his season sack total to 5. In 11 games. This is what $100 million buys you. Vomit.
Potential Dolphin Injuries
Paul Soliai: Dyslexia
Davone Bess: Plague
Jake Long: Cauliflower Ear
Ryan Tannehill: Concussion… I'm just kidding, he'll be fine.
Potential Bills Injuries
Corey McIntyre: Exposure
Dave Wannstedt: Parking Lot Beating… Disease
Ruvell Martin: Kidnapping
C.J. Spiller: Murphy's Law
Drunkest Member of the Deeg
This is the easiest week of the season to predict. Tonight, the Barrister and I will be drinking together in Queens and recording our long-awaited 5th episode of the Legal Limit. Add in that I don't work until 5 tomorrow and he hasn't been to a bar without the Scion since his birth and you've got a recipe for black out. That said, I'll wind up being drunker since I don't have a wife or child. No one cares how drunk I am when I get home tonight. And that is in no way depressing…
Top Stat Line of the Week: Stevie Johnson, 11 catches, 134 yards, 2 TDs
Ok, ok. I'll admit this is more wishful thinking than anything else. But Stevie is due for a huge game and I'll give you $20 if you can name one guy who plays in the secondary for the Fins. It's at home. It's primetime. Ryan's coming off his best week of the year. Do work, Stevie.
Garbage Pail Stat Line of the Week: Mario Williams, 0.5 sacks, 3 tackles
This would bring his season sack total to 5. In 11 games. This is what $100 million buys you. Vomit.
Potential Dolphin Injuries
Paul Soliai: Dyslexia
Davone Bess: Plague
Jake Long: Cauliflower Ear
Ryan Tannehill: Concussion… I'm just kidding, he'll be fine.
Potential Bills Injuries
Corey McIntyre: Exposure
Dave Wannstedt: Parking Lot Beating… Disease
Ruvell Martin: Kidnapping
C.J. Spiller: Murphy's Law
Drunkest Member of the Deeg
This is the easiest week of the season to predict. Tonight, the Barrister and I will be drinking together in Queens and recording our long-awaited 5th episode of the Legal Limit. Add in that I don't work until 5 tomorrow and he hasn't been to a bar without the Scion since his birth and you've got a recipe for black out. That said, I'll wind up being drunker since I don't have a wife or child. No one cares how drunk I am when I get home tonight. And that is in no way depressing…
Me in four hours calling Scizz to talk about the game.
Overall Score
This game smells to me like one of those close games that never quite feels like it's close and then, SURPRISE, we won. Sorta like the game in Arizona. You know, our only win in the last 6 games. Good Lord.
My official guess:
Buffalo 24, Miami 21.
Good luck, everyone.
This game smells to me like one of those close games that never quite feels like it's close and then, SURPRISE, we won. Sorta like the game in Arizona. You know, our only win in the last 6 games. Good Lord.
My official guess:
Buffalo 24, Miami 21.
Good luck, everyone.
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