The Scizz



On Saturday the DGWU crew (and Joe!) recorded our newest episode of the CrapTastiCast. We then proceded to drink high alcohol-content beers for several hours.  I of course followed this up by returning home, drinking more, and then returning to Manhattan with the Yachtsman for more booze partaking.  Needless to say on Sunday I was battling a vicious hangover.  With my body destroyed and nothing to, I decided to watch some movie trailers online.  After watching seven or eight of the blockbusters that are sure to make this summer both very lucrative and nerd-filled, an idea popped in my head.  What if there was away I could combine two of my dearest passions?  No, not Cadbury Cream Eggs and flash frying (hint: that has already been done, and it is amazing).  I’m talking about summer movies and the Buffalo Sabres.  Both are highly entertaining, force me to fill myself with unhealthy food and drink, and in the end, mostly infuriate me. Thus this un-educated brainchild was born.  Each movie’s title and release date will be followed by the trailer, and then the best corresponding Sabres personality.  I also decided to split the review into four separate sections; May today, with June, July, and August following in the next couple of weeks. Welcome to the Scizz Summer Movie Preview: Sabres Edition - May 2011

I realize this film has been out for almost two weeks now, but it is still killing it at the box office and I have yet to see it.  Thor, of course is based on the Marvel comic and is the story of an Asgardian God that has been exiled from his home to Earth.  There, he must help a hot-ass Natalie Portman to save the world.  Who else better than Tyler Myers fits the role of a hammer-wielding God of thunder put in charge of saving the day?  Psycho T landed on planet Buffalo in 2010 and we immediately saw a guy that could help win the Cup (aka save the world). He is developing before our eyes and already plays like a superhero.  Plus Thor has to battle ugly ice giants and that only led to one thought; Zdeno Chara, anyone?

I know what you are thinking.  “How dare you compare Nathan Gerbe to a movie all about women in dresses!!!”, but please hear me out.  I have heard nothing but amazing things about this film.  Apparently at the genius direction of Paul Feig and the acting of SNL member  Kristen Wiig, they created a piece of work that is not what it seemed to many of us at first sight.  It is a wedding movie with a mostly female cast that has the comedy style of Old School and Hangover, even though it appears to be a chick flick on the surface.  Now how many of you last season thought Nathan Gerbe was just an undersized player that would never be a fan favorite or emotional team leader?  SEE!  The little guy may not look like a big, bruising star but when he amps up, fans go nuts and he can the push team to victory (see spin-o-rama on 4/8/2011).

I look to the famous Johnny Depp character of Captain Jack Sparrow for this comparison.  Although not a captain (yet), Roysie was an alternate and is definitely considered a team leader.  Before he went down this season he was having a career year and was considered by many to be one of the only players on the team that appeared to give a shit.   Cap’n Jack also has a certain cockiness and flamboyance that reminds me of Roysie during his now infamous and bizarre nights on Chippewa.  Plus, I have always said that if I could party with a celebrity, it would be Depp, and if I have a choice to hit the town with a Buffalo Sabre, you better believe it will be with this Kangol hat wearing sunovabitch!

There.  I finally said his name again.  Much like the first film, Hangover Part 2 involves a group of friends getting hammered and trying to remember the night before?  This is exactly how I feel about Butler after watching his playoff performance.  I keep trying to remember all the good stuff he did at the end of the regular season, but it has proven to be quite difficult. I am continually searching for clues about what exactly happened that may have turned him into the doorstep of that first round series. Speaking of which, if anyone happens to know if Dmitri Kalinin was seen around Buffalo or Philadelphia from April 14 - 26, please contact @TheScizz immediately.

That does it for the May round of the Summer preview.  Check back in the next few days for my look at the films of June and the Sabres that best represent them.  I'll deal with mutants, cosmic heroes, government secrets, and a comedic woman....and then I'll write about the movies!  ZING!

The Barrister

As was mentioned in the CrapTastiCast this past weekend, this weekend was a momentous occasion for yours truly. Never having been to a NASCAR race, I found myself very excited about the chance to journey down to Dover Interational - the Monster Mile - to see the early season Sprint Cup race.  As an at-times opponent of car racing on the grounds that it constitutes a massive waste of fossil fuel and, besides that, has never really appealed to me as a fan, I was pretty surprised to be feeling genuine interest in the race itself.  There were a lot of non-race reasons that I was excited about this past weekend's trip to Delaware - the chance to give a good buddy the send-off he deserves before his wedding, the excuse to drink and play lawn games, an opportunity to get out of New York City for a few days - so I wasn't short of reasons to make the trip.  But, after a few conversations with the Scizz about his love of NASCAR, I walked onto the Bobby Allison Grandstand with a desire to appreciate the sport.  Besides, after having tried many times to convince non-fans of the value of soccer, or even hockey, I figured I needed to give NASCAR a chance if only on principle.

So, here are my reflections on my first race weekend, some of which are definitively unrelated to the race itself.  It probably makes sense to break my thoughts into sections, since I'm probably still a little hungover, and certainly exhausted. 

The Race
First impression: Oh DEAR LORD is car racing loud.  Sure, I was aware that the roar of the engines was part of NASCAR's mass-appeal - part of the argument that the sport is amazing and has to be seen live to appreciate it.  But, holy crap, I had no idea. 

We got to the track a little late on Sunday, having taken our sweet ass time with a series of grilled meats that started at about 10 a.m., and found our seats as the drivers were around lap 48.  While we missed out on the first roar of the pack as they started, our seats were on turn 4, meaning that we had a great view of each restart throughout the course of the afternoon.  Each time a caution was called, I was instantly looking forward to that extreme feeling of power that vibrated through the stadium as the cars regained normal (read: absurdly fucking fast) speed.  It was really something special to see and experience.

As a novice to the sport, I knew pretty little about what to expect from the field, I knew that Jimmie Johnson is generally regarded as one of the best, that Kyle Busch drives the M&Ms car that my wife and I cheer for whenever we watch a race with friends (it happened once or twice, and we chose the M&Ms car because those are our initials), and that Carl Edwards is a man beloved by lady fans of NASCAR.

Given the limits of my knowledge, it was nice to see that the majority of the race was a battle between Jimmie and Carl, the two racers trading 1st and 2nd - leading 334 laps out of 400, between the two of them - while the rest of the pack kept pretty far behind for the most part.  Over the course of 300+ laps, not much changed - three racers dropped out due to mechanical issues of some sort, though there were disappointingly not any crashes of which to speak.  So, as the race neared its end, it seemed like we'd have a Johnson/Edwards sprint to the finish.  Yet, during a late caution, both Johnson and Edwards headed to pit road for four new tires, and the decision to make changes on each wheel, as opposed to just two, ultimately opened the door for eventual winner Matt Kenseth.  Kenseth, running in the #17 Crown Royal car, changed only two of his tires during his last pit, and the extra seconds allowed him to take the lead going into the restart on lap 367.  Or so I was told when all was said and done.

It goes without saying that I only had a vague notion of what was going on while the race progressed and finished, and that much of my recap is informed by post-race conversations with my buddy, Sean, as well as some basic research online.  I knew that Edwards and Johnson are perennial favorites in the Sprint Cup Chase, and I knew that the points system was rewarding them both for their efforts at leading the pack throughout the afternoon.  But, when the late restart happened, and they were suddenly in the middle of the pack, I was clueless as to why.  It was the rare moment I wished for some commentators to clue me in, or at least a few minutes of quiet to get the explanation from the NASCAR fans on our group, so I ended up resigning myself to the belief that the Crown Royal car had taken over the lead because God knows Crown is such a tasty beverage.  Works for me.

While I'm still not sure that NASCAR is as interesting as people make it out to be, my cluelessness and befuddlement as to why Johnson and Edwards suddenly pooped the proverbial bed certainly prove that there are things about the sport that I would need to learn before I really understand all there is to know.  If the Scizz convinces me to make the trip up to Watkins Glen later this summer, I now know that it might make sense to grab a set of radio tuners and listen in on the pit crews and drivers talking, because that's where the action is - or, at least, where it can be in a tight race like I just saw at Dover.  Little things like that, which could help keep my interest up as the laps blur together and my eyes grow heavy, might be just the thing I need to move from appreciating the sport to actually, possibly, liking it.

Honestly, though, I feel pretty dirty typing that. My hippy parents are going to disown me any minute now. If they actually read this blog, that is. Which they don't.

                                               Papa and Momma Barrister Disapprove of this Post

Moving on...

The Atmosphere
Of course, one of the biggest selling points for any NASCAR race is always going to be the atmosphere, most notaby the campers and RVs that lace the landscape around a track, along with the partying that comes with it .  My humble crew of bachelor partiers, while generally prepared for the weekend as far as food and drink, was put to shame by the level of preparation displayed by the NASCAR faithful. Seeing the work that goes into it for the fan - as well as the payoffs of that work in the form of creature comforts - I was pretty amazed at the level of dedication displayed by the folks I met down at Dover. 

Which isn't to say that these people were not drunken fools like the guys in my group, because they were.  And that's where we all got along just fine. (And why I could simply ignore the frequency of vomit-inducing confederate flags everywhere).  Only at a race can one feel so at home cracking a beer at 9 am over egg and cheese sandwiches, or passing around the inner bag of a box of wine for a game of Slap the Bag, knowing full well that no one is batting an eye at such a display of drunken disregard for the standards of civilized society.  Indeed, why worry about preparing for creature comforts when your plan is to drink until you don't feel feelings anymore?

Off-Track "Activities"
At the risk of foolishly relaying too much information, I'll take the opportunity to comment a little on our weekend life outside the track grounds, since we saw our fair share of sights on Saturday.

First, I'd like to thank the kickass manager at the par 3 golf course we went to Saturday afternoon.  We were pretty far gone at that point - this was right after Slap the Bag - so it was really good of the dude to forego payment so that we could clown around the course for an hour while he just went home for the day.  My grand plans of success in my first round of golf were drunkenly forgotten - putting aside the decent showing I had made at the driving range the night before - as I awkwardly hacked at ball after ball.  Fun was had all around, though, and really no one was making any shots that they were particularly proud of, much less any that they will actually remember.

After golf, we headed to a great local crab shack - hell if I can remember the name - for a gluttonous meal.  By the end of it, I was barely conscious from all the beer and food.  Meaning I was perfectly ready to follow the evening wherever it led.

Which was a good thing, since the smell and shame of our dinner followed us to our next destination, a super shady, super hilarious gentlemen's club just north of Dover.  Apart from the disappointment in there not being an amputee stripper (as was promised in several online reviews of this place), the bar was everything we had hoped it would be and more.  So many stories of kids and deadbeat dads, of dreams for their future, being told to me as I searched for a new excuse for why I didn't want a "dollar dance."  Never have I been more impressed and disgusted with what a dollar can get you in some parts of this great nation. 

*shudder*

The bar had its perks - pun most definitely NOT intended - not the least of which was the $4 beers, cheap cover and hilarious conversation with dancers and locals grabbing cigarettes out back.  At 12:30, when we casually mentioned that we'd be partying all night and that people were welcome to come join, part of me almost wanted a few of them to show up at our RV, looking to shotgun a Busch Light. While the other part of me was praying they wouldn't, and cursing myself for yet another bad decision.

And, that was my weekend.  There are other parts of the weekend that could be discussed, but some parts of such discussions might be bad for my career, and the groom-to-be's bride-to-be might read this (she follows me on Twitter, after all), so I'll leave it at that. (And don't worry my friend! Your guy behaved himself, as always!)

All in all, not quite a NASCAR fan, but not the hater I once was.  In general, it's probably not a sport I'll ever take a huge taking to, if only because my lady is already understanding enough when it comes to watching hockey and football.  But, if given the chance to hit up another race in person, this time knowing a little bit about what to watch for, I have a feeling that it could be something I enjoy every once in a while.  After all, until beers stop tasting so frickin delicious, I'm going to keep drinking them.  Might as well be at the track. 

Welcome to episode #6!  Boy do we have a treat for you kiddies!  This week, fellow blogger and podcaster Joe Pinzone from Buffalowins.com joins us on the CrapTastiCast.  Joe is the "O.G." of the ex-pat community in NYC and he has amazing stuff happening over at BuffaloWins, including the ambitious "What if" series and the new quasi-celebrity addition to his staff, Fake Darcy. Within the first 15 minutes of the podcast Joe has a Yachtsman style rant and we immeditaely knew that this was going to be a good one.  The Scizz also had the honor of sharing a mic with Joe and it brought him back to his days of touring with the E-Street Band

Beside Joe's awesome blog, we also discuss why Jets fans are the worst, Joe growing up during the Bills Super Bowl Era, what our lives would be like if Scott Norwood makes that kick, the FC Buffalo game in Brooklyn (we got hosed), the heartbreak of being a Buffalo fan and why the site got it's name, which off-season we are more excited about, why we continue to get excited for Marcell Dareus, and to the delight of the apologist, a whole lot of NBA chatter (including how amazing Zach Randolph's therapist is).

Joe does an amazing job and fits right in with the rest of us bozo's and even joined us from some high alcohol content beers after the show.  It was an absolute please having him on the podcast and we are already making plans to have him back (if we didn't scare him off arguing about politics at the post-podcast get together).  You can also follow Joe on twitter @JoeBuffalowins and Fake Darcy @FakeDarcy of course.  Class act all the way Joe!  As always, you can listen to the podcast below or PLEASE download and subscribe to the podcast through iTunes or Libsyn by clicking the respective links.  Special Thanks to Megsy and Mondee for all the awesome work they do for us.  And let us all pray that the Barrister got out of the bachelor party he was at in Dover....alive.  Enjoy the show and spread the good word people!

The Scizz
Welcome to Part two of my off-season guide to keep you entertained until The Sabres and Bills are playing again.  On Thursday I dedicated the whole post to hockey and took you through all the events leading up to the first full year of the Pegula Era.  This week I explore football and all the other stuff to keep you occupied through the summer of 2011.  The Buffalo Bills, soccer, NASCAR, and baseball: pick your poison.

NFL Free Agency & Training Camp – No set dates                                    

Even with the lockout lifted, a new CBA still needs to take place, and until then the fans are being left in pigskin limbo.  With free agency unable to take place, no undrafted FA’s were able to signed and we still do not know what players will be restricted or unrestricted.  The one thing that I hope to God happens is that Donte Whitner leaves town.  After his last twitter tirade, he still said he is open to returning to Buffalo.  The self proclaimed football-Jesus needs to shut up and move on.  Also if he could get hit by a truck, that would be aaaaaaawesome.

When, or if free agency does open, the Bills still have many holes to fill, especially at QB, TE, OT, DB, & ILB (If Poz walks).  The Amish Rifle and Levi Brown are the only QB’s on the roster.  Do they add an experienced veteran like McNabb or Marc Bulger, or a mid-level guy like Tyler Thigpen or Matt Moore?  Either way, this is Fitzy’s team until they add a QB in the draft.  Andrew Luck, anyone???

As mentioned, they also need tons of other help.  2010 waiver wire pickup Scott Chandler is tops on the TE depth chart (Desmond Clark is most likely available with the emergence of Greg “Greggie” Olsen), Erik Pears is our starting right tackle, and we have only three experienced corners, two of which are injury-prone.  And with no Poz, it would mean rookie Kelvin Sheppard immediately steps into a starting role (maybe not a bad thing).  So there is a ton of work still to be done.  Of course Buffalo always seems to find some diamonds in the rough through undrafted FA’s, like Jason Peters, Jabari Greer, and Jim Leonhard.  Those guys were steals and I’m so glad….what was that?  We let all of them leave?  Oh ok, that makes sense. *Smacks head against wall*

FC Buffalo Season – May 22nd opening against FC Reading Revolution  
                                        June 10th @NJ Blaze

Of course there are many more dates besides the two above, but those are the games that stick out right now.  May 22nd the team opens up their regular season at home and the big day on June 10th will see the DGWU crew attending their game on Jersey soil (or is it mud?) in full force.  Our trip to Central Jersey is sure to be exciting and will most likely end with my girlfriend’s parents bailing me out of jail.  Check out the Barrister’s excellent post about Nick Mendola’s scrappy FC Buffalo squad and get excited for the upcoming season.  You can check out thefull schedule here and plenty of coverage on the team, right where you are at DGWU Sports.  I just talked about soccer in a post.  The Scizz talked about soccer in a post.  I need a medal or maybe one of those nifty scarves I see all you fans with.

The Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at The Glen - August 14th

Oh yes, out of Europe and into redneck country.  I have to be honest, I feel a little more comfortable here.  No, I’m not a redneck, but I grew up watching NASCAR with my Dad and actually attended this race for  solid 10 years with him.  This year I hope to bring other members of the DGWU crew with me to celebrate some racin’ road-course style in upstate New York.  Just a few hours away from NYC, this track is located in the middle of nowhere, but with a registered camping site located within the track infield and my father’s mustachioed best friend pounding beers, it is sure to be a good time.  If you are not a race fan because you think that left turns are boring, this is a race that may peak your interest.  The road-course features many twist and turns and you can check outa map of the track here and a list of the events here.  The party goes Thursday – Sunday and I guarantee you a good time if you attend. Unfortunately, dumb ass fuckheads still take up the majority of the sports' fan base.  Last year one of my favorites, former F1 driver Juan Pablo Montoya took the checkered flag amongst outright racist boos from the crowd.  Hmmm, maybe NASCAR and soccer do have something in common. SOCCER  NASCAR  These people need to die fiery deaths over a tank of blood thirsty sharks.

Baseball:  Orioles @ Yankees  - July 29 – 31                                    

                    Yankees @ Orioles  - August 26 - 28

                    Cubs @ Mets  - September 9 – 11

                    Bisons games – Check the schedule

Always remember that during the summer months there are oodles and oodles of pointless baseball games being played for you to enjoy!  I realize that maybe we have readers who are Indians, Pirates, and Blue Jays fans because of close proximity to Buffalo, but the DGWU crew represent the Cubs, Mets, and Orioles.  The three series listed above are all ones to take interest in, because some of us may actually attend these games.  You can look forward to ridiculously detailed Oriole knowledge from the Apologist at some point on this site, continued live-blogging of Cubs games from the Yachtsman and I, and terrifying accounts of being a newish Mets fan from the Barrister.  I for one am excited about another possible DGWU roadtrip to Baltimore’s beautiful Inner Harbor for the Yankees series.  Get on that Aps, but be careful of Omar Comin' (see image above).

The DGWU CrapTastiCast – Every week this summer (hopefully)                    

Finally, if you are new to our site or at least have ignored our lovely podcast, please continue to look for new episodes of the CrapTastiCast with many different Buffalo-related guests all summer (including Joe from BuffaloWins this Monday).  We will try our best to have a new one out to you each week with fresh/stale comedy, average sports knowledge, and sweeping generalizations.  At least you get to hear that awesome intro music we have.  Feel free to hit that nifty little iTUNES subscribe button down below to keep track of all new episodes and please download the past ones.  It is a guaranteed goodtime for all to enjoy (except children, the elderly, and anyone originally from Philadelphia).  And naturally a lovely way to waste away your mornings at work.  Catch ya on the flipside.

The Scizz

So with nothing else to do and my two favorite sports teams months away form playing again, I decided to jump into baseball mode.  Up until this point I have been mostly ignoring the Cubs.  Back on April 1st I explained why I wasn't feeling baseball this year, but after all, these are my lovable *cough cough* Cubbies.  I have to admit, despite my early hate, I think this happens every season and I never notice it.  By mid-July, I have attended several Mets and Yankees games, drank at two different Cubs bars, and am examining the box scores in detail every single morning.  I love sports, and if baseball is all that is left to me during the summer months, then the obsession picks up.  Of course by September when Chicago has been eliminated from playoff contention, all focus goes back to football and hockey.  But at least I can admit to it.  So without further ado, I bring you what went down Wednesday night.

8:00  Girlfriend is working late and I’m planted on the couch with a Left Hand Stout.  Let the game begin.  Early stories are the domination of Lance Berkman, Starlin Castro, and Pujols hug-gate.

8:02  Holy shit. Castro speaks NO English.  The guy interviewing him is both the interviewer and translater.  This is amazing!  Why did I not know ESPN does this.  Mind-blowing!  Still not sure what I just witnessed

8:03  Commercial break already.  Seriously, Fuck ESPN. At least I can get my coffee maker ready for the morning.

8:07  Fan shown with Cubbie tattoo on his chest.  Kill yourself dude.  But first kill future trade bait Matt Garza.

8:09  Tony LaRussa still has Shingles.  But he is safely tweeting so thank God for that.

8:11  Aaaaaaand Ryan Theriot leads off for the Cardinals.  If he is batting over .300, I’m going to chug my beer. 

8:12  Off the hook, batting .279.  That bitch talked shit about the Cubs after getting traded to Cardinals.  Strikes out!  Boom!

8:13  Two outs and up comes future Cub Albert Pujols.  He hugged the GM, of course he will be a Cub next year.  HE HUGGED THE GM!!!!  

8:15  As ESPN keeps playing up hug-gate (did I mention fuck ESPN?), he flies out to center. Hug it out Albie.

8:16  COMMERCIAL!!!!  X—Men: First Class looks kinda bad-ass.

8:19  Cubs first at bat.  I bet Fukudome flies out.  He does.

8:20  2nd best Cub name behind Starlan Castro comes up.  Mr. Darwin Barney folks.  And he grounds out for the second out before announcers can even show the Cardinals defensive lineup.  Cubbie tattoo guy needs to kill me too.

8:21  Just noticed girlfriend sent a text at 7:50 saying she will be home within an hour.  Not working late after all.  She may not be thrilled with my plans.

8:27  Never disliked Lance Berkman.  Then he joined the Cards and started playing like himself circa 2001.  Full Count.

8:28  Fly out to left as they go to the studio for Curtis Granderson’s league-leading 12th homer.  “But wait for the next homerun from Yankee stadium we show you!”  Oh no, don’t make me wait.  Already forgot as Garza gets K #3.  PROVE ME WRONG BIG GUY!!!!!

8:31  Just realized how bad I’m milking this beer.  Girlfriend text really having an effect on me.

8:33  First hit of the night as Aramis Ramirez knocks a single to center/left.  Here come the 10 millions dollar man Carlos Pena.  Ew.

8:37  Pena walks to put two men on for Starlin. NO HABLO INGLES!!!

8:39 Shot up the middle off of Westbrook’s glove bloops to center.  Ramirez thrown out at home despite maybe the ugliest toss from center I have ever seen.  I think someone needs to talk to Dan Marino about weight watchers, Aramis.

8:44 “That’s a big time Squander by the Chicago Cubs”.  Thanks Dave O’Brien.  No runs this inning.  Time for another beer.

8:53  Men on 2nd and 3rd with one out.  Here is the Garza I know! 

8:55  A “nubber” off of bare-handed Garza.  Therior gets an RBI. Terrific.

8:57  WOW!  Pena actually impresses me with a great catch on a line drive.  Two men stranded and the Cubs get away only down one run.  Not bad I guess.

8:58  While I have a moment, let me play tribute to our color-man for the evening.  NOOOOOOMAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!   GIMME A COUPLA TAAAAAAAH BOOOOOOYS!!!!  Alright I’m done.

9:00  WTF?!?  Back from commercial and it is an absolute downpour in Wrigley.  Like end of the world rain.  Coincidence that this happened as the girlfriend walked in the door?  Eerie.

9:01  ESPN heads to Toronto for bonus coverage of the Red Sox and Blue Jays.  I think not. Time to check out the IIHF World Championships on Versus.

9:03  Czech Republic is up on Team USA 1 – 0 after a goal by…Jaromir Jagr???  Really?

9:04 And a penalty on the US by Van Riemsdyk.  Sound familiar?  No, because the refs didn’t call it enough when we saw him last!

9:06  Ty Conklin is in goal for Team USA.  Let me type that again; Ty Conklin is in goal for Team USA.  Time to check on the Cubs game.

9:09  Fantastic.  Now it’s giant douche-bag Michael Kay and the Yankees/Royals game.  I have YES for every Yankee game and ESPN puts this on. Baby Punching time…..and my next beer.

9:13  Starting to think this was a bad idea.  Back to the hockey game and it appears Jagr scored his second goal to make it 2 – 0 Czechs. 

9:16  Back to Yankees/Royals and Michael Kay is plugging Center Stage with Rex Ryan.  Holy fuck cakes can it get worse?

9:17 I can hear the girlfriend watching old episodes of 30 Rock in the bedroom and I’m getting jealous.

9:20  At least the pitcher’s name on Kansas City is Adcock.  It made me giggle.  Then I thought of the Beastie Boys.  I have issues.

9:25  Losing patience.  Michael Kay is terrible, Patrick Elias just had two consecutive turnovers, and my allergies are causing me breathing issues.

9:35  Check into Miami/Boston game in time to see Lebron celebrating.  How does it feel to financially cripple an entire city dick-hole?  I’m getting angrier by the second.  Time to check in with the Cubs.

9:37  Still no game.  Rain continues and this experiment is an EPIC FAIL.  I’ll DVR ESPN for the next 4 hours and check the game after work tomorrow.  Addendum?  Possibly


Addendum:
Thursday morning 6:07 AM  Couldn’t wait until after work so I check the box scores.  11 – 4 Cubs wins.  Starlin gets nasty with a 4 for 4 night and Garza goes for five solid innings.  However, if I continued to watch, they would have lost 17 – 3. So it works out.

Thursday morning 6:11 AM  Turns out they started playing 13 minutes after I retreated to the bedroom.  Damnit, I suck.  Oh well, maybe next time I can do this for a whole game and destroy my liver even more.  GO CUBBIES!!!!!

Thursday morning 6:15 AM   If you have not seen the video below, please do yourself a favor and watch this incredible interview.  Just make sure your not drinking anything.  I did a legitimate spit-take after the "hot guys that are like up for anything" line. Sadly it isn't real and only a local sketch comedy actress, but somehow that may make it even funnier because I'm not sure the interviewer is in on it, or not.

The Scizz

It's that time of year again ladies and gents.  No, not for ridiculously wordy blog post titles, but it's the dreaded off-season.  The Sabres are out of the playoffs, the draft is over and the Bills are awaiting the beginning of their upcoming season (if it ever happens), and I'm forced to watch baseball again because IT IS ALL THIS CITY TALKS ABOUT MAY THROUGH OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!  

Alright, now that I have got that off my chest, here is your DGWU sports guide to the 2011 Buffalo off-season. Note that nothing about the NBA will appear here because of the Apologist's excellent post from yesterday. I Could not have done it better myself....because I'm an idiot who still thinks Theo Ratliff and Adonal Foyle have potential.  I also have a bizarre hate for Tim Legler.

The 2011 NHL Draft - June 24-25

Where dreams come true?  Or where the Sabres draft guys that will never play for them named Marek Zagrapan or Phillip Gogulla?  I kid, I kid. We all know that drafting happens to be one of Darcy's strong suits, so make sure to tune into the entry draft on June 24th to see the magic happen.  The Sabres pick 16th overall in the first round, but of course traded their second round pick to St. Louis for late season/playoff disappearing man Brad Boyes.  Let us hope Darcy keeps his hot streak alive with prospects like Gerbe, Ennis, Myers, Adam, Enroth, and Butl....nope, not hyping that guy again.

Edmonton picks first overall and is expected to select 13 year old Canadian Center Ryan Nugent-Hopkins. Alright he isn't 13, but look at the picture below.  Dear Jeebus that makes me feel insanely old.  I thought Patty Kane & Ennis looked like a little kids, but Nuge-Hop (cool, nickname right?  Oh shut up nobody asked you).  

Other top prospects include Swede D-man Adam Larsson and on the rise Center Sean Couturier.  Check out mynhldraft.com for some great up to date mock drafts.  They have Buffalo taking the top USA prospect Brandon Saad with their pick.  He stands 6'2", 200 lbs, is a Pittsburgh kid, and doesn't look like he just graduated Junior High.

(Totally off-topic: SportCenter's Top 10 of the day is the greatest post-season comebacks of all time.  The Buffalo Bills coming back from down 35-3 with Frank Reich to beat the Houston Oilers was #2, to Boston coming back from down three games to beat the Yankees in 2004.  I haven't cursed on here in awhile, but Fuck. Fuck you Boston in your stupid A-holes.)

NHL Free Agency - July 1st

I was going to put up a picture of Brad Richards to the right, but with all the talk of Pegula's deep pockets and the cash he is willing to spend to win a cup, I switched it up.  There is a lot to talk about here, but I will do my best to keep it fairly limited, because as we all know, much more will be said as the big day approaches.

First, the Sabres have many RFA's they need to deal with.  Besides the obvious Drew Stafford, there are six other players they need to re-up with; Nathan Gerbe, Mike Weber, Reggie Sekera, Mark-Andy Gragnani, Chris Butl....still not saying his name, and the Demon Swede himself all need new contracts.  Most likely all of these guys will be in a Buffalo uniform next year, but you never know.  Leopold and Morrisonn are still under contract and there are some solid UFA D-men available (more on that later).

With the RFA's handled accordingly, we can then look at our own UFA's.  Most of which stand little to no chance of returning.  As we all know, Timmy Connolly has most likely played his last game as a Buffalo Sabres.  Early rumors have him heading to Atlanta or BAAAH-AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH the New York Rangers.  Mike Grier, Steve Montador, and Mr. Playoff Rob Niedermayer are also all currently rumored to be on their way out.  No surprises there.  After that, you have Yachtsman favorite Cody McCormick, and AHLers Mark Mancari and Matt Ellis, all of which will most likely be resigned on the cheap.  Oh yeah, and god-willing, Patrick Lalime won't be back (*shutters*).

Finally the fun stufff!  New UFA's for the Sabres to compete for.  Word has it that no player is untouchable for Darcy and Sabres' Management.  Brad Richards is of course the big veteran leader that many teams are drooling over.  Apparently the early frontrunners could again the Rangers, as well as the Sabres and Leafs.  So weird to see the Sabres as a frontrunner for a major free agent.  But if Bradley doesn't join the blue and gold, many other online sources (which of course are ALWAYS legit) have talked up the Sabres possibly bringing in (back) Chris Drury, as well as D-men James Wisniewski (Montreal) and Eric Brewer (St. Louis), Simon Gagne (Tampa Bay), and Alexei Ponikarovsky (Los Angeles).  I also would not be the Scizz if I didn't bring up my former favorite Sabre, J.P. Dumont, who is owed 4 million by Nashville next year and barely played at the end of the season and playoffs.  If Nashville buys him out and Buffalo can get him for next to nothing, tell me you wouldn't mind seeing J.P. back in a Sabres uniform running? Or is it just that I want my old, all red 3rd jersey to be legitimate again?  Could be.

Buffalo Sabres Training Camp - September

No reason to go into this too much right now, but it will definitely be a fun time to watch this franchise.  Besides any new UFA's that walk into the newly painted arena, Derek Roy and Jochen Hecht should be healthy, young guns like Myers, Ennis, and Gerbe will officially start a new season in their dominant roles, and of course a new crop of prospects will attempt to make the team.  Will Enroth officially be the full-time backup goalie?  Will AHL rookie of the year Luke Adam join the team permanently?  And will other past call-ups like Paul Byron and Dennis Persson have a legit shot?  It will also be interesting to see how close guys like T.J. Brennan and uber-filthy Zack Kassian make an impact.  Can it get more exciting?  I submit that it cannot.

IIHF World Championships - NOW

Yeah I almost totally forgot these were happening right now.  Paul Gaustad is playing on Team USA (who is I was writing this was in battle with the Czechs) and DGWU fave Mark-Andy Gragnani is playing for Team Canada.  Also some guys named Ovechkin, Gaborik, and Tavares decided to show up and play.  And remember Phillip Gogulla from the beginning of this post?  He is playing with another former Sabres Prospect, Felix Schutz on Team Germany.  Their Coach?  Former Sabres defenseman Uwe Krupp.  It's a small world after all.

Also for Buffalo Sabres News during this off-season, make sure to check out former Buffalo74 site-runner Scott Michalak's new site Buffalo Sabres Nation.  I spent over an hour after work reading everything on the site and it is phenomenal.  Congrats goes out to one of my personal favorite blogger/tweeters in Buffalo sports.  Here is hoping we can book him on the podcast sooner rather than later!


Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post on Saturday, which will feature the Buffalo Bills, FC Buffalo, NASCAR, Baseball, and some cool guys who run a podcast called the CrapTastiCast.....weird.  You can also look forward to more basketball chat from the Apologist, an angry rant about the city of Buffalo's new slogan from the Yachtsman, solo NASCAR-related posts from yours truly and the Barrister, and Friday check out my account of forcing myself to watch a full baseball game (hint: the girlfriend worked late and booze and Matt Garza were involved).  Until next time, I leave you with future Sabres bad-ass Zack Kassian.

The Barrister

For the sake of my blood pressure, and my own credibility as a watcher of sports, I always endeavor to keep a level head when it comes to watching my teams get jobbed by an officiating crew.  Watching a game and feeling like the team is fighting two battles - one against the opposition, and one against some ass-clown referees - is beyond frustrating.  After then inevitable loss, I'll walk away from the arena or field, burdened by a sneaking fear that my love for the team is clouding my judgment, and even if I saw repeated instances of head-scratching, hair-pulling decisions by a ref, I'll always wonder if I'm simply in denial that my team just wasn't good enough to win. Perhaps that's why those moments of anger, when I almost can't talk as I cope with the sheer absurdity that a ref missed a certain call, are often not about anger at all, but sadness, disappointment, regret. That this seems to happen so often as a Buffalo fan - to the point that I have legitimately been convinced (if only for a brief periof of time now and again) - that the higher powers of sports management hate Buffalo and will fix games to ensure that we will be forever saddled with the "Dear God, Why Us?" meme.

                                   Excuse me, sir? That shit was clown shoes. Please walk into traffic.

Catching the D train from John Dewey High on Saturday, I was much less nuanced in my attitude, mostly because I had no real confidence that the officiating crew working the game was necessarily credentialed, but also because their ineptitude was on display from the opening whistle and lasted the full ninety.  While the linesman closest to our small but spirited group of Blitzers supporters was good-natured about the heckling rained down by the Yachtsman, and others, he was apparently ignorant to the true workings of the offside rule. Time and again, FC Buffalo players would streak behind the defender, running onto a well-placed ball into space, only to get called back. "Flag," as we so affectionately, yet degradingly, called him, simply didn't get it.

The head referee, though - the key component of any officiating crew - was where we fans focused much of our rage, and with good reason. Down 1-0 in the second half, the Blitzers were threatening to score an equalizer, and had more than their share of opportunities to get decent balls into the box (Ed. Note: That phrase will NEVER not be funny to me).  Two plays, about four or five minutes apart, sealed the Blitzers fate.  First, with about 25 or so minutes remaining, a ball was dropping towards a Brooklyn player who controlled it off his chest.  The ball, falling to the ground, took a bounce before the fullback directed it back, with his foot, to his keeper, who then picks it up.  With his hands.

In a world where justice exists for my teams, an indirect free kick is called, the Blitzers score, and we got ourselves a game.

The back-pass was, of course, not called. Yachstman and Barrister look at each other, incredulous, then calmly accept fate while holding out hope for that next break to go our way.

A few minutes ticked off the clock, and Matt Stedman, one of the Blitzer's two strikers, found his way into space behind the defense. Stedman had already been having an incredibly solid match, and this break was a long time comng.  "Flag" had no imagined offside call forthcoming, and it looked like a moment of celebration was upon us. I almost felt bad cheering as loud as I did at that moment - the sudden eruption of noise must have come as a slight shock to the striker - though, it didn't appear to matter as he deftly touched the ball to his right, past the keeper, raising our hopes that an easy tap-in  from 7 or 8 yards out might be in the works.  The touch may have been too hard, and maybe that's why neither the referee nor the linesman felt the urge to make the call and point to the spot after the Blitzer striker was aggressively taken down - from behind and from the side, by the defender and keeper, respectively.  The looks on the faces of some of the Brooklyn supporters nearby, many of them players within other levels of the Italians' system, confirmed that they had gotten away with one.  A goal kick was awarded instead, and I felt that all-too-familiar feeling in my gut.

                                     An FC Buffalo supporter indicating his displeasure with the no-call. 
                                               .
Needless to say, a disappointing result.  FC Buffalo controlled possession for much of the game, and showed a surprising cohesiveness in doing so, especially given the fact that this was the first game (or time, even) many of these guys had played together.  It looks like the new coaching regime has the team on the right track, at least with respect to the players they've brought on board, and I think its fair to say that this match will likely put the Blitzers on solid footing to start their regular season off right.  

Some other thoughts/highlights from the game:

- Pat Regna, the Blitzers starting goalie, went down in the second half after a collision with Brooklyn player Mostafa Haridi.  According to FC Buffalo's website. both players required pretty serious medical attention - Haridi for an injury to his mouth, requiring emergency dental surgery, and Regna for a large laceration under his knee.  Here's hoping both guys are ok.

- In addition to the infuriating no-calls in the second half, the referee can also be credited with one of the most hilarious moments of the match, after he called an infraction on a Blitzer player (it may have been the sole 1st half yellow card, which was against Matt Stedman, for "dissent") and was heard explaining that "he knows what he did." As we fans were in the dark as to the true reason for the call - which was bullshit, obviously - having seen nothing of note, this moment was especially funny.

- A few minutes before the game got underway, Team President Nick Mendola stopped by and greeted me and my buddy Geoff (City Honors Soccer represent!), and mentioned that the team was a little short-staffed. Upon the start of the game, I thought there was only one sub on the bench, though when Regna went down it became apparent that there was a keeper as well. Short-staffed indeed.  After the game, me and the Yachtsman chatted briefly with a player on his way to the team's bus, and - I hope I'm not misunderstanding him - the guy mentioned that he wasn't even really on the club anymore, that he used to play for Queen City FC, that he now lived in Jersey, and that he was called to fill out the roster for this game since he was close by.  I suspect that these issues will work themselves out in the coming weeks as the season comes up, though for the time being I think it shows the heart and talent of these guys to play so well in the circumstances.

- Another thing to keep in mind is that, as was mentioned by another player on his way to the bus, this team had not played together this year. Let me clarify - when I say "play," I don't just mean play an actual game. This team hadn't even gotten the chance to practice together.  As per the team's website, there were no available, playable fields in WNY during the possible window for practice times (which was limited by the NCAA eligibility freeze...which maybe someone could explain to me, since I'm a little slow), and this team legitimately had no opportunity to train together before this game.  I am astonished that this can be possible (though, knowing the quality of some WNY soccer pitches, I wouldn't be surprised if the team deemed some of them simply unsafe), and even more astonished that the team played so well and to such a narrow defeat.  Again, positive signs for the season.

- Finally, I have to say that I had a blast at this game. Much respect to the guys that came down from Buffalo for the game - Dale, Jeff and Brandon - as well as the other crew of Buffalovers who came out (though, I never really caught their story...I was a *few* beers deep, after all).  The DGWU crew is looking forward to a roadtrip up to Buffalo for a home game or two this summer, especially if it means getting to link up this portion of "The Situation Room" for some adult beverages.  Also, in the coming weeks, we'll be looking to extend a similar invitation to Buffalo residents who might be tempted to make a second trip down to the Tri-State area for FC Buffalo's match against the NJ Blaze (who, incidentally, are not the Bible-thumping sqaud I thought they were; the Buxmont Torch, a different fire-inspired club, is down with the G-O-D...good for them), scheduled for Friday, June 10th.  Hope some of you guys can make it down this way again.

Again, despite the result, this game gave a lot for Blitzer supporters to be happy about.  Look for more game analysis from the Yachtsman and yours truly in this week's edition of the DGWUS CrapTastiCast, which is likely slated for posting late in the week. Until then...

Besides, this isn't really your typical game this weekend.  As a footy fan, I've always been jealous of the FA Cup format England enjoys. While I know Britain doesn't have the monopoly on this kind of tournament format - multiple tiers of competitive soccer, all with potentially equal access to the ultimate goal of winning a Cup - I really got into the FA Cup while living in Bath in the Autumn of 2002, as Bath University's squad made a historic run (at least for a team of their competitive level).  As U.S. soccer continues to make strides in the American sports market, and as MLS gets legit (seriously, watch a game - dudes can play), it goes without saying that the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup has a big role to play.  One of the beauties of the open tournaments like this is that it makes small-market and even amateur level teams, and their supporters, into dreamers.  Soccer is a funny game, and while an actual Cup run probably isn't the cards for a team like FC Buffalo, any success - in that it necessarily means success against teams at higher level teams - is actually a BIG deal.  And, frankly, a team that works their asses off for a full ninety, and who can get a few bounces along the way, can make some miracles happen.  

                            Speaking of miracles -  how else can you explain how this guy still gets work?
                                     Oh, and this movie was NOT hilarious.  It blew.  Plain and simple.

On paper, a win on Saturday night would be a seriously overachieving moment for the Blitzers. The team, in their first season last year, finished 3rd in their division. A good result for their first campaign, particularly since they snagged a win against FC Sonic, the division champion that finished with only one regular season loss.  However, the infrastructure of football clubs, often brought about after years of development, are vital to successful programs.  I can't imagine that it's any different for the lower level clubs within the NPSL.  Despite the success of FC Buffalo in 2010, they enter this weekend ready to face a Brooklyn Italians team seeped in history.  Some facts to consider:
    1. Team was founded in 1949.
    2. They've won the US Open Cup twice, in 1979 and 1991, prior to the introduction of professional sides into     
        the tournament.
    3. They've played in the CONCACAF Cup Winners Cup and Champions Cup in 1991, following their US Open Cup 
        win.
    4. In addition to the team they operate within the NPSL, the club also has a few teams in the New York City 
        Cosmopolitan Soccer League.
    5. Their team name ranks on the low side of the Barrister's "Racist Team Name Quotient," somewhere well below 
        the Redskins, but much higher than the Argonauts.
    6. They play at a high school named for a badass pragmatist whose ideas still shape American education.

Taken together, these factors add up to a big hurdle for the Blitzers this weekend.  The Italians are a club who has been there before, whose history acts as a daily inspiration for the players suiting up each game.  And, with a developed infrastructure that is strong enough to support several teams, including youth squads.  This infrastructure gives the Italians (GOD that's awkward to type) a potential surplus of talent from which to choose. 

But, what I can say with some certainty - and until I see the teams match up, I can't say much of anything with certainty - is that me and the Yachtsman will be down in Brooklyn on Saturday night, that Joe from Buffalo Wins will also, I'm told, be there, and that there will likely be some other expats or Buffalo lovers in the crowd.  There may even be some folks who've made the trip down from WNY.  I guarantee that we will be at least a few beers deep, we'll be loud as hell, and we'll probably end up saying something offensive about whether the mob is sponsoring Brooklyn's team.   So, as Nick Mendola's team makes the trip down to Kings County to play the Brooklyn Italians, they may not have history on their side, but they'll have Buffalo on their side, and maybe that'll be enough.

Weather permitting, drinks at Beer Island, Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island - 2 pm. With any luck, the crowd will be better than what you see in the only decent pic I could find.  Seriously - sand + beer = fun.    

Gametime - 5 pm, John Dewey High School, right up the street. 

If you're interested in linking up with us for the game, comment here or holler at @DGWUSports on the Twitter, and keep an eye out for tweets re: any venue changes in the event of some sprinkles, as well as game updates as the evening wears on.

In the meantime, Let's Go Buffalo.