Hey there gang, The Commander here...been a little while. I figured I’d stop playing GTA5 for a few minutes and drop some HOT SPORTS TAKES so that I don’t get fired. I think my SO brought Parvo home from school, so I’ve been downing DayQuil and Cold-EEZE like they were M&M’s. So I apologize in advance if this jumps around a lot, and it probably will. Think of this like me ripping off Bill Simmons or Larry King and just tossing some random shit out there. I’ve got a Sabres preview for you next week, and a few other things I’ve been working on for the NHL season, so stay tuned for that.
I’m primarily a hockey guy, so I’ve been hibernating for the summer, watching my lawn die because it hasn’t rained near me since April or something. Having a lawn in California is surprisingly rare. Most of the houses on our street have rock gardens and shit. I completely understand why now. One day I’m going to flick a cigarette butt somewhere and burn down about 15 homes.
I’m primarily a hockey guy, so I’ve been hibernating for the summer, watching my lawn die because it hasn’t rained near me since April or something. Having a lawn in California is surprisingly rare. Most of the houses on our street have rock gardens and shit. I completely understand why now. One day I’m going to flick a cigarette butt somewhere and burn down about 15 homes.
My bad...
I hope everyone’s enjoying the EJ Manuel experience so far. I’m holding off judgment on him as a player because Nate Hackett calls an offense like a 15 year old calls a game of Madden. The fact that there’s so little play action and there seems to be two total running plays in the playbook makes me think they aren’t doing all they can to make him successful. The tools are there for sure though. At the very least, I don’t get the “OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOO!” feeling whenever he drops back to pass, which in terms of Bills quarterbacks is a massive improvement. The poor kid isn’t even going to be able to take a piss without having 50 armchair assholes critiquing it, so sit back and hope for the best.
One thing you don’t realize when you’re finally taking that big step and moving in with your SO, if they get sick you are absolutely fucking doomed. You’re going to get sick too. You share fucking everything…plates, cups, beds, furniture. Even if you pretend cooties still exist and girls are icky like you’re back in 3rd grade, you are absolutely going to catch whatever it is they have. My head hit the pillow the first day she was sick cursing her entire family and everything she stands for.
What are people going to do when they realize Zemgus Girgensons is European?? Are heads going to explode like that Scanners scene?
This is so Larry King so far that there should be an ad for Welch’s Grape Juice in it. I almost hate myself.
One thing you don’t realize when you’re finally taking that big step and moving in with your SO, if they get sick you are absolutely fucking doomed. You’re going to get sick too. You share fucking everything…plates, cups, beds, furniture. Even if you pretend cooties still exist and girls are icky like you’re back in 3rd grade, you are absolutely going to catch whatever it is they have. My head hit the pillow the first day she was sick cursing her entire family and everything she stands for.
What are people going to do when they realize Zemgus Girgensons is European?? Are heads going to explode like that Scanners scene?
This is so Larry King so far that there should be an ad for Welch’s Grape Juice in it. I almost hate myself.
This is the dude who runs the Sabres social media footprint. Really explains everything about that organization doesn’t it?? I’m sure he’s a nice guy. I stopped following him on Twitter because he was Tweeting love letters at Sarah Palin. That photograph haunts my dreams. I’m sure it was taken after bodies were buried in the woods behind him. He has a very "I own Old Navy Fleece's in ALL THE FUCKING DIFFERENT COLORS BABY, YOLO!!!" feel about him.
Also he sucks at his job.
Also he sucks at his job.
Did you guys know that Steve Ott is a bad hockey player?? Good hitter, good on faceoffs – sure. Positionally the guy is a fucking train-wreck. He leaves his guy to take stupid runs at people constantly. Also he had the worst possession numbers for a forward in the NHL last year. Oh and he takes dumb penalties too. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DON’T YOU DARE PUT THE “C” ON THIS FUCKSTICK’S CHEST RON.
I’d buy everyone on the Bills a mini-fridge and some time at the shooting range if they were all as good as Mario Williams is. Don’t listen to the racist media shitdicks who have an agenda to push…watch how many times a game the dude is blatantly held or double teamed because HE’S THAT FUCKING GOOD.
Do yourself a favor and DO NOT drop $60 on EA’s latest NHL effort. I buy the thing every year. I make up reasons to love it every year. I fanboy for the fucking game every year. So for me to say this, there’s REALLY gotta be some shit wrong with it. Basically, only about 30% of my online games even get a connection, and when they do it’s a coin flip to see if the connection lasts for 3 periods. Also, if you use one of the features in the game (custom soundtracks), it locks up your entire Xbox. Excellent work EA. It’s not even a $60 roster update because the rosters are from before free agency.
Do yourself a favor and ABSOLUTELY drop $60 on Grand Theft Auto V. The story is fantastic, the game is beautiful, the missions are fun and the characters are well written. I’ve gotten my $60 out of it already, and oh by the way they’re adding online multi-player on October 1st. That’s right, you can get a group of friends and rob banks, people, hookers and all kinds of shit. $60 is going to seem like a bargain by Xmas.
When you’re reading about all this FIGHTING IS BAD IN THE NHL AND BAN FIGHTING BECAUSE HEAD INJURIES, you should know that a long time ago fighting in the NHL was cool and served a purpose. This was before the 2006 Playoffs so many people probably aren’t aware of it. John Scott has a role on this team, and I’ll get into that more in my preview.
You should be excited about the long-term prospects of the Sabres. These kids who are coming up are legit and this team will be good again sooner rather than later. Even if Grigorenko busts out like many already think he has (because you’re stupid) – there’s plenty to like about the core of this team 3 years from now.
And mostly because Lindy Ruff isn’t around to fuck it up.
- You can follow me on Twitter at @essbeeay
I’d buy everyone on the Bills a mini-fridge and some time at the shooting range if they were all as good as Mario Williams is. Don’t listen to the racist media shitdicks who have an agenda to push…watch how many times a game the dude is blatantly held or double teamed because HE’S THAT FUCKING GOOD.
Do yourself a favor and DO NOT drop $60 on EA’s latest NHL effort. I buy the thing every year. I make up reasons to love it every year. I fanboy for the fucking game every year. So for me to say this, there’s REALLY gotta be some shit wrong with it. Basically, only about 30% of my online games even get a connection, and when they do it’s a coin flip to see if the connection lasts for 3 periods. Also, if you use one of the features in the game (custom soundtracks), it locks up your entire Xbox. Excellent work EA. It’s not even a $60 roster update because the rosters are from before free agency.
Do yourself a favor and ABSOLUTELY drop $60 on Grand Theft Auto V. The story is fantastic, the game is beautiful, the missions are fun and the characters are well written. I’ve gotten my $60 out of it already, and oh by the way they’re adding online multi-player on October 1st. That’s right, you can get a group of friends and rob banks, people, hookers and all kinds of shit. $60 is going to seem like a bargain by Xmas.
When you’re reading about all this FIGHTING IS BAD IN THE NHL AND BAN FIGHTING BECAUSE HEAD INJURIES, you should know that a long time ago fighting in the NHL was cool and served a purpose. This was before the 2006 Playoffs so many people probably aren’t aware of it. John Scott has a role on this team, and I’ll get into that more in my preview.
You should be excited about the long-term prospects of the Sabres. These kids who are coming up are legit and this team will be good again sooner rather than later. Even if Grigorenko busts out like many already think he has (because you’re stupid) – there’s plenty to like about the core of this team 3 years from now.
And mostly because Lindy Ruff isn’t around to fuck it up.
- You can follow me on Twitter at @essbeeay
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