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Major League City, Minor League Reporters

3/27/2019

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The Outlander

I hope to have a proper post to discuss the Sabres season- rock bottom for yet another season in a row- when I'm no longer cross-eyed and in need of drugs to dull the rage about it. Luckily one Bills beat writer, one Matt Parrino provided us with some content with yet another asinine post whining about Antonio Brown. I've saved you the time of FJM'ing that with your own incredulous remarks below. 

Why can’t Antonio Brown let go of Buffalo? Fans are so over him (Commentary) There are LOTS of things that call for commentary right now in Buffalo sports. This isn't it. 

So this whole Antonio Brown thing just won’t go away, will it? You’re literally the only one on my feed talking about it

Buffalo is ready to move on. Good! Finally! The QB still can't throw, the RB's can be carbon dated and that doesn't even begin to get at things like children in cages and the special olympics of all things being defunded. Let's talk about those things, or that new brewery in North Tonawanda.

Nobody likes to feel unwanted and Brown has made it clear he didn’t and doesn’t want Buffalo. He’s been persistent in his efforts to remind Bills Mafia of his feelings.

But why? Who cares.

Why is Brown posting memes poking at the fan base and revealing private conversations with his agent to prove he didn’t want Buffalo? You know Instagram has other athletes. Celebrities too.

There isn’t a lot of clarity about the why but there is some irony in the melodrama. Is the irony the fact that you and half the fanbase are whining about being thought of as small time while continuing to be hung up on some random athlete’s social media, thus proving you are small time?

When Brown decided to rock the foundation of the Steelers organization — no-showing the 2018 finale and demanding a trade, while setting fire to his market value — rocking the now infamous yellow mustache, he explained why he wanted out of Pittsburgh. Employers are not your friend and maximizing your value should be paramount for the employee.

Brown did an interview with ESPN in the midst of the saga and before the much-maligned wide receiver was traded to Oakland (the Raiders won four games last season while the Bills won six) The raiders have a quarterback who can throw straight and don’t have to get their dicks kicked in twice a season by the patriots. Also I really wouldn’t use the fact that the Bills went from nine wins to six and averaged about 15 points a game while doing it as a positive. He had issues with Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, and Steelers general manager Kevin Colbert didn’t seem to agree with Brown’s frustrations.
 
“If our guys were smart, they would listen to (Roethlisberger) because he’s been there, he’s done it,” said Colbert, who believes Roethlisberger was within his rights as a leader to question Brown’s play publicly last season. “He has 52 kids under him. I want them to step up and say, ‘Ben, what do I have to do? Can I do this better? What do we have to do to win a Super Bowl?’” We can already tell which guy at NY Upstate will be against unionization.

Brown responded to Colbert and gave insight into why he wanted out of Pittsburgh.

“What grown man is calling another grown man a kid? 'Fifty-two kids.' Like, you don't have no respect for these guys? Like, these are the guys that go to work for you, Brown told ESPN. “And that's what I'm telling you guys ... that's my issue. You know what I'm saying? It's all about respect.”

Is it, Antonio? Respect for the employee, not some jorts wearing shitbag from Gowanda who has a stick family of assault rifles on their car and throws half empty blue lights at fans wearing opposing jerseys on Autumn weekends

Is it all about respect?

If it is then why are you slinging shade at a city that only ever wanted to embrace you? Buffalo covets great players and they treat them like gods. It was pretty clear that fan desire for Brown was lukewarm at best but it’s nice that you ignore that here to continue your false narrative pity part. Why was this the case? Well it seems that by attempting to maximize his value and hold some control over his employment situation he was seen as a “troublemaker” and “controversial.” He also danced after touchdowns, a big no-no to the tiki torch crowd that piles into RWS parking lots every weekend.

Also, do they really covet great players? How would we know? You don’t have to go very far to find complaints about Jack Eichel’s work ethic. Folks were ready to ship Shady out until he started donating his seats to local terror agents in badges. The QB to end the drought was hated- not disliked, hated- by a slew of folks now eager to talk about how completion percentage is meaningless in football. The next “great” Bills player will be the first since Lynch…how was he received here, by the way?

Brown put out the first episode of his new podcast “The Boomin Experience Podcast.” This sounds like an inapplicable thing to cover as a BUFFALO BILLS BEAT REPORTER. On it he released a conversation with his agent Drew Rosenhaus, which detailed the teams that were interested in trading for him. New England, Philadelphia and Oakland were all mentioned and discussed as landing spots, but when Rosenhaus mentioned that Buffalo had shown interest he told Brown he wouldn’t even give the team a number on a potential new contract because his client had no interest in playing for the Bills.

“Yeah, don’t waste any time,” Brown said. Sounds smart. When I was looking to move regional offices in my company I didn’t send Knoxville an application because fuck that.

The podcast was a clear and direct message aimed at the city of Buffalo to clarify Brown’s position: he never wanted to come here. Again, as the sovereign in charge of where he wants to go, this seems not only well within his rights but completely reasonable considering:
  1. The offense sucks
  2. They haven’t won a playoff game in over 20 years
  3. The last time they made the playoffs they got rid of nearly every skill player who had a role
  4. The quarterback who ostensibly has to get Antonio Brown the ball is
    1. Not accurate on short passes
    2. Not accurate on medium passes
    3. Not accurate on deep passes
  5. Was picked by the Bills without any credence given to the fact that the number 4 was true throughout a college career facing such staunch defenses as Colorado State and Hawaii
  6. The coach and GM have made clear that they wish to rely on the run game, erroneously and publically stating that the local climate is colder, windier and harsher than elsewhere in the league despite this being demonstrably false
  7. The franchise has shown and spoken to a need for “their guys” which seems to be a very specific type that does not rely on
    1. talent

Antonio Brown shared audio of a trade conversation he had with agent Drew Rosenhaus. #Patriots, #Eagles, #Titans, #Bills and #Raiders all discussed in the audio. AB makes it clear he didn't want Buffalo. Belichick and #Steelers GM Kevin Colbert did speak. In the process of doing this post I noticed he used those hashtags to actually link to the team twitter accounts of each of those teams. This has nothing to do with content but I find it funny.

Thanks, Antonio. Buffalo needed that extra jab. What extra jab? Transparency from star athletes and the machinations of sports labor is something fans are rarely able to see behind the curtain. This level of candidness and transparency is frankly refreshing. Then again it’s probably something we should hate because it gave you an example to make this all about Buffalo.

It was a nice follow up to that meme he shared with him hand-gesturing away from a Bills logo. Memes!
​

Brown also said on his podcast that he’s enjoyed feeling the love from everyone in the aftermath of the trade.
Glad to hear it. It’s nice when we’re spreading love in this world.

So why are you spreading hate when it comes to Bills Mafia? Again, he didn’t spread any fucking hate. Buffalo is currently the 81st largest city in the country so I think you are woefully overestimating its importance in the world. The story is far more about Brown successfully orchestrating an exit from Pittsburgh and his- perhaps false!- belief that Jon Gruden and a team that’s going through an ugly extrication of its own is an upgrade. It’s not hard to avoid checking social media posts of athletes, they’re usually remarkably lame or brand based nonsense and the fact an athlete uses his to a) show transparency in the shadowy world of professional sports business and b) have some fun for once in a fucking while is not an insult. It is refreshing.
Listen, this situation is played out and everyone involved, especially Bills fans, are more than ready to move on Lmao bro you’ve spent a week highlighting corny platitudes from team employees, complaining about social media posts and claiming that Buffalo is horribly ridiculed by everyone who encounters a mere mention or former resident of the place. But don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about sticking up for your city. Actually if you’re super aggressive and touchy about your city you probably should feel bad for being such a baby.

I think Bills general manager Brandon Beane and coach Sean McDermott put it best.
“Don’t speak about Buffalo if you don’t know what this city and what this fan base is like,” Beane said. Brandon Beane knows Buffalo so well he designed a roster based on a climate that Buffalo doesn’t have and drafted a quarterback for that non-existent climate. As a matter of fact, Brandon Beane has built a roster that seems solely based on Johnny Carson and Jay Leno jokes about Buffalo.

McDermott added: “Perception and reality are not always the same,” McDermott said. “Spend a day, spend a week in Buffalo. Get around the people, get around the city, get around the energy in our city. People that say (Buffalo is undesirable landing spot for NFL players) haven’t spent that time and really maybe don’t want to spend that time. To me that’s on them.”
 
At no point during any of this exhausting bullshit was it said or implied that the spurning of the Bills had anything to do with the city or the people. I have lived away from Buffalo for most of the last thirteen years (if we count Bonaventure, kick it up to half my life). I studied abroad for a semester in college, I traveled abroad a couple years back. I’m married to a non-Buffalonian. I have never, not once heard an insult about the city beyond the fact that its sports teams are shitty (accurate) or that the suburb I grew up is racist (VERY accurate). I spent most of these years actually wearing Buffalo gear and every single conversation usually goes something like:
 
Them: did you grow up there?
Me: Yep
Them: that’s cool
 
Occasionally they’ll change it up and it’ll be:
 
Them: so you a Bills fan?
Me: unfortunately
Them: that’s rough I’m a [team that has not even remotely as tortured a past] fan
 
If I’m wearing Buffalo stuff I am 100% more likely to encounter a fellow ex-pat than I am anyone even remotely negative about the area. Everyone- including the author here who made it sound like his travels have been a Locked Up Abroad level nightmare of insults and confrontations over his precious home- prefers to believe they’ve been insulted because that would mean they matter outside their area.
 
I’m here to tell you that’s false. I have a Bills magnet on my car (in New England!) and all I got for my trouble was a fellow Bills fan giving me a thumbs up. No one cares.
 
Ultimately this is more pathetic than if Antonio Brown held a Facebook Live stream and proceeded to spend two hours trashing the Darwin Martin House. For about half a decade now there’s a new article out every month talking about how great Buffalo is. The Guardian sent someone. The New York Times sent someone. The Washington Post sent someone. The Boston Globe sent someone. Every fucking month there’s another piece published talking about the affordability, the resurgence, the upswing, the rebirth, every damned cliché you can think of. They go to the waterfront. They go to the wing joints. They go to the Albright and they return to their metropolis and write about HOW FUCKING NICE YOUR TOWN IS.
 
The desire not to play in Buffalo is fine but it’s Brown’s consistent disrespect in the aftermath of his trade to Oakland that’s also on him. Fuck you it is.
 
When the NFL official Instagram account posted the initial report that the Bills were close to a trade for Brown, he commented on the post: “fake news.” But in the end the only thing fake in this entire exasperating drama is Brown himself.
 
Antonio Brown is the only one in this entire cursed narrative that has been honest. He immediately squashed erroneous reports. He confirmed his desire not to go to Buffalo. He thanked his fans. He was honest about his problems with his former employer, honest with his agent about where he wanted to work and released actual fucking audio of those conversations. He is less fake than every national and local writer who had him heading to WNY. He is less fake than every Bills mafia loser who photoshopped him in a sexy blue jersey in the middle of the night. He is more real than any and everyone who made this a civic matter. He is more real than a beat reporter whose job description calls for objectivity but in practice is little more than a PR lackey for management and ownership. He is more real than someone whose position calls for holding people accountable but merely acts as hype man for a 6-10 franchise and a NFL quarterback who can’t throw a ten-yard out. He is more real than someone who claims fans are little more than petulant babies who can’t accept a grown man desiring to work elsewhere.
 
Years ago we used to complain about sports reporters being too negative; Lynch and Stevie got ran out of town, honest to god playoff hockey was derided as the “heroic march to 8th,” GMs and owners were excoriated for their frugality and the writers seemed to have open animosity not just for their readers but for the town THEY found themselves working in.
 
They are gone thank goodness but in their place is a new crop of jabbering hucksters who serve not to criticize but to placate and compliment at the worst possible time. We are in the worst era in Buffalo sports history, make no mistake about it. Yet the GM and Coach who were handed a playoff team and petulantly shoved it away are “privately complimented throughout NFL circles.” I’m not sure who started it, maybe Jonah Javad with his insecure rantings about Stephon Gilmore desiring to play for the greatest team in league history instead of one of its most forgettable. Hucksters like Nate Geary, claiming Nate Peterman could make throws Tyrod couldn’t and first refusing to back down before pretending that he wasn’t posting preseason gifs and jabbering about back-shoulder throws. Hucksters like this guy, who I’ve been aware of for about six months but has in that time become the spokesperson for insincere homerism.
 
Christ, at least Ed Kilgore was transparent enough to actual work for a Pegula institution instead of doing its work for a quarter of the price.
 
There is a case to be made that the Pegulas are the worst thing to ever happen to Buffalo sports. They have destroyed the team they purchased first twice over and seem to care little about it beyond the role it played in them getting their NFL team. There is no reason to have any confidence that a single hire they have ever made was smart or will ultimately result in on-field or on-ice success. They have received a pass because the fanbase is too pathetic to realize that merely existing isn’t good enough, there must be success. And the people who are supposed to tell the fans that yes, they should demand success, they should demand heads on pikes when that doesn’t happen are instead too busy telling you that a player wanting to go elsewhere is a deep civic insult, that the autonomy one person has over their career is something to be upset about, that not only does this person hate your city, everyone else does too.
 
It’s pathetic.
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