What a difference the bye week makes. THE BUFFALO BILLS DEFENSE REDISCOVERED THE SACK FOR EVERYONE'S BENEFIT, EVEN THOSE ODD SPEAKING CANADIANS WE SO ROUTINELY MOCK/HATE/LOVE/SORT OF WANT THEIR PARLIAMENTARY GOVERNMENT AND REGULATED BANKING SYSTEM DEPENDING UPON WHICH SIDE OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM YOU FALL.
Aside from the glaring inequities of the current NFL that force us to play in a Stadium several million kilometers from home (what is that, like 80 miles? I DON'T KNOW REAGAN TOLD ME TO IGNORE THE METRIC SYSTEM), there are some actual gameday issues here involved as well. First, carpets. Seriously there are sections that have carpets. Horrible choice. Carpets muffle sound. Easy. Learn auditory physics, Blue Jays.
Also, the clapping. Have you been to Skydome (no I won't call it the other name) for anything? The only time I've ever seen that crowd on its feet was for Hogan vs. Warrior at Wrestlemania (THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE). I don't understand the disconnect, either. They clap for home runs yet border on Italian hooliganism at Leafs games when they're down by 3 against the Panthers. Every time the Bills play there (including this past weekend) it seems like they're playing at a wake. It's like the lower bowl at the First Niagara Center (ZUH ZUH ZUH ZING /waits for hatemail).
Finally...WE HAVEN'T HAD A HOME GAME IN SEVEN FUCKING WEEKS. CAN WE PLEASE ALL GO HOME NOW AND GET MENTAL IN THE 716 AREA CODE?!!? IF WE'RE ALL GOING TO GET DUIs, LET'S AT LEAST NOT GET DEPORTED TO TOP IT OFF. CHEERS.
On to hackneyed analysis:
- La Defense! Fuck to the Yes! 9 sacks (scratch that, statistical retract by the NFL: 10! A FUCKIN TIN! - /Varsity Blues reference), friends. A shutout. 2 picks. This is both a testament to coaching - way to rebound off a bye week, that shows moxie and control of the team, Chanford - and a testament to the awfulitudiness of the Washington Aborigines.
- La Defense Encore! Fuck AND to the Yes! Mike Shanahanahanahan's first shutout! YES. I bet you Shan-wow would rather be working with WonderlicBeard and Contract Freddie than Jon 7 Wives and Aloha the Running Back (for those of you bewildered and angered by the tremendous reach I just took, that's Fitz & Freddie rather than Beck & Helu).
- Offensive Line looks strong to quite strong. The Beard stays under protective bubblewrap, canyons are opened for Freddie, all whilst Karl Malone's estranged son rests his weary legs on our bench (mention # 3,203 that Demetrius Bell is Karl Malone's son....whom Malone deadbeat Dadded on...Go Jazz! Family Values, Utah!)
- Marcell Dareus looks like a bonafide monstrosity in the middle of that defense. He's %100 a guy you can build a franchise around (trade Kyle Williams, take a marquee LB high in the draft, build the Ravens defense of the late 90s, win the Superbowl in 3 years...I've got it all planned out!)
UNPLEASANTRIES AND THE SORT RE: THE BUFFALO BILLS FOOTBALL CLUB
- NONE. I have nothing to bitch about this week. I think everyone played extremely well against an obvious trap game, and hopefully we steam roll the Jets (we won't) next week. Rex Ryan's piqued interest in watching his DBs practice their footwork be damned (foot job joke...cheap).
Alright, well, I have a CrapTastiCast to put up, so I'll cut it short.....Bills played great. Yay for us. Dick Jauron is still not our coach.