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Smarten Up! - What is Love?

2/14/2013

9 Comments

 
The Continental

Every week (HA FUCKING HA) The Continental will answer your questions. Whether it is Buffalo sports related inquiry, needed advice, or just a generally stupid question you feel like seeing her answer, have at it and we'll see what this young lady is made of! You can e-mail weekly questions to us at deargodwhyussports@gmail.com, tweet us @DGWUSports, or even tweet her directly @hpurricane. 


I clearly need to get better at "getting drunk" and/or "posting to the site."  The Barrister puts me to shame and he has a wife, child, and law bidness and drinking to tend to.  In the mean time I have been getting drunk A LOT.  #OccupyNassau was fun, if traumatic for brave coworker I invited along.  I did do a lot of yelling about Jochen Hecht being a shitsipping taint, but I did keep the "Please let me suck your dick Cody" to a minimum.  But seriously, if any of you buffablogbros can hook a sister up tell Cody I'm DTF.  
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 What's a good VDay activity for a non-romantic couple that doesn't want to buy each other shit. @criminallyvu1ga

Anal.

That counts for a lot of people.  Although some people can get by with "make dinner" and "tell my partner I love them."  But for you two, you guys moved to a new city with what I assume is a somewhat temperate climate?  I recommend a nice long walk with your dogs, then if you can, make a bonfire!  That's cozy and romantic (provided you are legally able to set fires.)  Hot dogs optional, but everything in my life is better with hot dogs.
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Hot Diggity Damn!
Which professional league athletes get the most ass on the road and why and in order? -HKD


Time spent on the road, takes football right out since they have the shortest season, plus just less time away from their wives and families during the week.  Let's go from least to most ass:

4. Football-time crunch, short seasons AND career length.
3. Baseball- baseball players wear tight pants, but they're mostly busted and weird shaped.  At least hockey players are busted but man-shaped.
2. Hockey- good Canadian boys usually get married young and have a surprising amount of sexual hangups.  So by the time they start being adulterous it's in their late 20s, inherent disadvantage.
1. Basketball- I mean have you SEEN basketball players!  Young, cute, crazy scary tall, full schedule with plenty of travel.  Definitely first.



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HOOP DREAMS
Who should I want to bang more, TJ Brennan or Ryan Fitzpatrick? @SamanthaJoy124

First this stems back from a hilarious exchange with @fgif when his profile picture was Franj with TJ Brennan.  Sam said she "maybe would" the tall one (Brennan.)  Then Frank cried himself to sleep or something, I don't know his life.

Sam, TJ Brennan is 6'1" and Fitzy is 6'2" so they are pretty much at the same playing field as "unfortunately not that much taller than you."  (Sam is my dutch goddess friend, if any of you are 6'3" or taller in the NYC Metro area  and are a "good" dude please romance her.)  TJ Brennan is the obvious choice, he is younger, has a better future in his sport, isn't Grand Marshall of the shit parade.  Brennan is the healthy scratch of shit parades.
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I've got hurt feelings, I've got hurt feel-lings
I'm a busy important 3L, please watch House of Cards and decide whether or not I should watch it since we both have impeccable taste.  -@sholland06

Ok, I may have paraphrased there but that's really what he meant.  SORRY to to disappoint but the night I tried to start watching House of Cards I hit a speed bump commonly known as "blacking out." Since I tried to drown my sorrows that Franj and Renn could not make #occupynassau.  Maybe 12 beers before trying to start an hour long drama was a poor choice.  Really the drinking 12 beers was the poor choice.

Anyways sholland06, people I love and trust (Happy Valentines Day <3) all love it, the afformentioned Franj, Renn, but also StephanieZD, runthedive, cbruckel and other people who I'm sure I'm forgetting.  The tone seems to be a lot of "wow this is incredible and well done" but mostly "KATE MARA."

Also to everyone if you have any important cultural contributions to add to my life I am always looking readers.
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House of Cards tho
What's your ideal sports/vday date: Mine is NBA All-star weekend? -@e_dealur


Really?  All star weekend?  Anyone likes those things?  But fair, it's the NBA and you get dunk contests and the game is like two Harlem Globetrotters playing each other, not the awkward shinny the NHL puts on every year.

Sex and hockey is probably too pedestrian right?  Yeah, that's not even a special occasion, and Valentine's Day is about going "above and beyond" we can all agree. Therefore my answer is leave work to drink, go to a Rangers or Knicks game and get very drunk,then give a blow job to my date in a cab.  WHO SAID ROMANCE IS DEAD Y'ALL!!!!
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True Romance.
Are you there Deegers it's me The Continental:


On a day with such a rich tradition of love and romance I'm here to ask you: What is the most shameful/weirdest/creepiest/scariest/saddest/grossest thing you've ever beat off to?  Anonymity encouraged. 


Happy Valentines Day! XOXOXOXO
9 Comments
NOT Rusty
2/14/2013 03:31:30 am

House of cards is great… it fills the empty void left by being alone on Valentine's

When will I find love?

Reply
Alex link
2/14/2013 03:33:48 am

Semi-related, a few years ago during college when home and hanging out with friends, the question "where is the weirdest place you've ever beaten off?" was posed. Two of the highlights:

Church Bathroom (not me)
Beneath the scorebook while keeping score at a little league game (not me, and no one topped that)

Surprisingly, I had nothing good at the time. The only thing I have that comes close is in a movie theater in Geneva while on a first date, and she was doing the beating.

Reply
NOT Rusty
2/14/2013 03:43:27 am

@Alex

In my car on the interstate at rush hour.

I it car jacking.

Reply
not franj
2/14/2013 03:45:16 am

In dire straits and without an Internet connection I once (repeatedly) beat off to a Lane Bryant flyer that my roommate left in the bathroom after reading the paper.

Happy Valentine's day, y'all! (big girls with no self esteem get at me)

Reply
Sam
2/14/2013 03:46:13 am

When I googled Fitzpatrick I was leaning towards Brennan. Glad I was on the right track.

Reply
The Continental
2/14/2013 04:33:26 am

I'll just post @Matthew1Stewart's comment here:

‏@matthew1stewart
@hpurricane You posted? Is this where I alternate b/w pedantic trolling and wishing I was Magary by saying unfunny things in ALL CAPS?

Reply
Boner in the Shorts link
2/14/2013 08:17:53 am

In middle school I beat off in church. Probably the saddest one of all time was while on tour and we were somewhere down south. I beat off in a disgusting Burger King in the middle of nowhere an it was before smart phones so I had to unlock ye older spank bank. I didn't even order any food I just cranked one out and left.

Reply
Not Outlander (Totally Outlander)
2/15/2013 04:10:32 am

Since I didn't get the internet and discover the hun until 10th grade, there was a camel cigarette ad with chick with total DSL's from a sports illustrated that I still remember to this day; even at what, 12 or 13 I knew that was sad.

Reply
stphnhllnd
2/17/2013 08:50:23 pm

So I finally read this. One correction: I'm not important.

I have since watched House of Cards and it is good. Not great, but good enough so I'll definitely finish the season.

Your taste is impeccable, though.

Reply



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