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The Apologist
Buffalonians have always been a feast or famine fanbase. Either we’re headed for a championship or we’re one of the worst teams in the league. We should trade every spare part we’ve got to get that missing link or tank the season for the next big thing (Oh hey, Jack!). This is what happens when you’ve watched a team fail for most of your life. Not to mention seen the team’s ownership dangle off the precipice once or twice. It’s hard to say wait till next year when you’re not sure if next year will come.
That’s not our situation anymore. The Sabres are staying. The Bills are staying. (Can we please stop with the "Is Terry a good owner?" Who cares. They're staying.) We have a next year and a year after and a year after that… unless Goodell manages to sink the league. That’s a real possibility. Let’s come back to that.
To be fair, it's hard to stay logical after a game like last week's. As the Yachtsman would say, the Bills snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and in horrifyingly sloppy fashion. The offense had two first downs in the entire first half. The defense was flagged for two personal fouls on the same play and were collectively two penalties shy of tying a team record for infractions in the same game. Carpenter hit a 51-yarder, then shanked one from 30. All in all, it was a total mess. But it's still just one game.
The Bills have two wins and two losses. The victories have looked like what you’d expect from a playoff team: dominant defense, explosive offense, tight special teams. And the defeats have featured all the tell-tale signs of a pretender in contender’s clothing: brain farts on defense, an offense that can’t stay on the field, and sloppy play from all involved. It’s the kind of inconsistency that’s not really all that shocking for a team that had a complete overhaul of their coaching staff and ownership group over the past year. So which team will show up this weekend in Nashville?
Buffalonians have always been a feast or famine fanbase. Either we’re headed for a championship or we’re one of the worst teams in the league. We should trade every spare part we’ve got to get that missing link or tank the season for the next big thing (Oh hey, Jack!). This is what happens when you’ve watched a team fail for most of your life. Not to mention seen the team’s ownership dangle off the precipice once or twice. It’s hard to say wait till next year when you’re not sure if next year will come.
That’s not our situation anymore. The Sabres are staying. The Bills are staying. (Can we please stop with the "Is Terry a good owner?" Who cares. They're staying.) We have a next year and a year after and a year after that… unless Goodell manages to sink the league. That’s a real possibility. Let’s come back to that.
To be fair, it's hard to stay logical after a game like last week's. As the Yachtsman would say, the Bills snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and in horrifyingly sloppy fashion. The offense had two first downs in the entire first half. The defense was flagged for two personal fouls on the same play and were collectively two penalties shy of tying a team record for infractions in the same game. Carpenter hit a 51-yarder, then shanked one from 30. All in all, it was a total mess. But it's still just one game.
The Bills have two wins and two losses. The victories have looked like what you’d expect from a playoff team: dominant defense, explosive offense, tight special teams. And the defeats have featured all the tell-tale signs of a pretender in contender’s clothing: brain farts on defense, an offense that can’t stay on the field, and sloppy play from all involved. It’s the kind of inconsistency that’s not really all that shocking for a team that had a complete overhaul of their coaching staff and ownership group over the past year. So which team will show up this weekend in Nashville?
THREE THINGS TO BE EXCITED ABOUT:
1) Tyrod Taylor
1) Tyrod Taylor
Doug Whaley took a lot of flack for his “quarterback purgatory” comments in the offseason. His choice of words was probably poor, but his logic was sound. The Bills might not be a playoff team, but they won’t be bad enough to get a top draft pick. And after watching Taylor’s performance through four games, I’m not sure we need one.
He’s accurate. He’s composed. He’s mobile. Basically, he’s everything we could’ve hoped for. Could he fall apart? Sure he could. But there’s a couple reasons I believe he won’t. First off, the Bills seem completely behind him. You don’t send your veteran backup to Dallas if you’re unsure of the guy lining up under center. Second, this isn’t a rookie, it’s a four-year veteran with a Super Bowl ring. He might not have contributed much to that effort, but he’s seen what it took to get there. Guys in the huddle have to respect that fact. I might be wrong, but so far he’s completed over 70% of his passes with more touchdowns than turnovers in his first four games as a starting quarterback. And every time he tries to pick up yards with his legs, his eyes stay downfield till he crosses the line of scrimmage
Is he gonna enter the conversation of best quarterbacks in the league? Maybe not. But that’s not what we need right now. What we need is the defense we payed for.
2) Sacks? Please!?!
The Bills have 7 sacks through the first four games. This is not what the Bills had in mind when they locked up Dareus and Hughes for almost $150 million. But in the three of the team's first four games they faced quarterbacks who understood exactly what they were up against and got rid of the ball quickly. That won't be the case this Sunday against Marcus Mariota. Does he look like the real deal? Sure. Has he ever seen a defense like the one he's facing Sunday? Absolutely not.
And the defense has to be hungry. How could they not be? If they're as angry as all those flags would lead you to believe, you'd think that would translate to hits on the quarterback at some point. If there's one focal point to keep your eye on tomorrow, it's Mario Williams versus rookie tackle Jeremiah Poutasi. Please, Mario. Please turn him into a turnstile.
3) BOOOO-BIIIIIIIE!!!
He’s accurate. He’s composed. He’s mobile. Basically, he’s everything we could’ve hoped for. Could he fall apart? Sure he could. But there’s a couple reasons I believe he won’t. First off, the Bills seem completely behind him. You don’t send your veteran backup to Dallas if you’re unsure of the guy lining up under center. Second, this isn’t a rookie, it’s a four-year veteran with a Super Bowl ring. He might not have contributed much to that effort, but he’s seen what it took to get there. Guys in the huddle have to respect that fact. I might be wrong, but so far he’s completed over 70% of his passes with more touchdowns than turnovers in his first four games as a starting quarterback. And every time he tries to pick up yards with his legs, his eyes stay downfield till he crosses the line of scrimmage
Is he gonna enter the conversation of best quarterbacks in the league? Maybe not. But that’s not what we need right now. What we need is the defense we payed for.
2) Sacks? Please!?!
The Bills have 7 sacks through the first four games. This is not what the Bills had in mind when they locked up Dareus and Hughes for almost $150 million. But in the three of the team's first four games they faced quarterbacks who understood exactly what they were up against and got rid of the ball quickly. That won't be the case this Sunday against Marcus Mariota. Does he look like the real deal? Sure. Has he ever seen a defense like the one he's facing Sunday? Absolutely not.
And the defense has to be hungry. How could they not be? If they're as angry as all those flags would lead you to believe, you'd think that would translate to hits on the quarterback at some point. If there's one focal point to keep your eye on tomorrow, it's Mario Williams versus rookie tackle Jeremiah Poutasi. Please, Mario. Please turn him into a turnstile.
3) BOOOO-BIIIIIIIE!!!
Alright, this is a bit of a stretch considering he's rumored to be struggling with a calf injury and they brought in two backs to compete with him for touches. But how can you not root for this guy? He's made his way through a life of turmoil and come out the other side smiling ear to ear. He hits a hole as hard as anyone I've ever seen. He keeps the locker room fired up. The fans love him and he loves them. Personally, I hope Greg Roman designs an offense that gets him 100+ yards and 3 touchdowns.
THREE THINGS TO BE TERRIFIED OF:
1) Injuries
Obviously the reason Boobie has a chance to shine this weekend is that not one, but two guys ahead of him haven't made it through the first four games healthy. LeSean might not be back until after the bye week and Karlos Williams is out with a concussion. Add in a less than 100 Sammy Watkins, Charles Clay, Aaron Williams, Baccari Rambo, John Miller, Cordy Glenn... Do I need to keep going?
Whaley has proven numerous times that he's stocked the team with an impressive amount of depth. But there's only so many injuries a team can weather. The defense will probably be ok, but the pressure on Tyrod Taylor will be amplified if the running game can't generate anything on the ground. It could be a good test for him. Or it could be Reason #1 why we lost.
2) Flags
THREE THINGS TO BE TERRIFIED OF:
1) Injuries
Obviously the reason Boobie has a chance to shine this weekend is that not one, but two guys ahead of him haven't made it through the first four games healthy. LeSean might not be back until after the bye week and Karlos Williams is out with a concussion. Add in a less than 100 Sammy Watkins, Charles Clay, Aaron Williams, Baccari Rambo, John Miller, Cordy Glenn... Do I need to keep going?
Whaley has proven numerous times that he's stocked the team with an impressive amount of depth. But there's only so many injuries a team can weather. The defense will probably be ok, but the pressure on Tyrod Taylor will be amplified if the running game can't generate anything on the ground. It could be a good test for him. Or it could be Reason #1 why we lost.
2) Flags
Ok, I'll be real now. What the fuck is with all the flags? Seriously. I've watched an absurd amount of football in my life, but never have I ever seen a team get three flags on an onside kick. That happened in Week 2 against the New England Patriots. A game that broke the record for penalties between the two teams. And of course, as I mentioned earlier, the Bills were two flags away from tying a team high in penalties against the Giants. Even a great team can't afford to just hand the other team free yardage every other series. Not to mention, the more the Bills keep this up, the tighter officiating crews are going to call their games. I hate stupid calls as much as the next guy. The holding call that negated Taylor's 30-yard touchdown run was infuriating. But if you're labeled as a dirty team, like I don't know, the kind that gets a chop block call on a meaningless drive at the end of the game, then you're going to see even more ticky-tack calls like that. I understand trying to push the limits when you're facing a playoff-caliber team, but the Bills don't need to do that to beat the Titans. So please don't, Bills. Please.
3) The Kicking Game
Holy shit, we just signed Billy Cundiff.
3) The Kicking Game
Holy shit, we just signed Billy Cundiff.
That's not a miss. That's an embarrassment. A shank like that should be followed by a drug test. When you type Billy Cundiff's name into Google, the third recommendation that pops up is "miss." That's the guy we brought in to compete with Dan Carpenter. This game could easily come down to a late kick and... well... that moment will be terrifying.
WHY YOU SHOULD HATE THEM:
I used to run this segment back when I consistently did previews. And this seems like as good a team as any to bring it back for. Simply because there are obvious reasons to hate this team...
WHY YOU SHOULD HATE THEM:
I used to run this segment back when I consistently did previews. And this seems like as good a team as any to bring it back for. Simply because there are obvious reasons to hate this team...
- Mike Mularkey is currently a coach there
- Bud Adams
- The Music City Miracle... duh.
Also, double-fuck Bud Adams and his decaying middle fingers. I'm sure there are people out there who miss him, but that guy will only ever be remembered in Buffalo for one thing. God, I hope we win by 40.
CALIENTE TAKES CON LIL GREASICO
IYAYAYYAYYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAY!!
My name is Lil "I am the peeled banana in your fruit bowl of love" Greasico. So, I see that Apalodick has taken over Bills previews because scizzcakes hates Rex Ryan and anyone who is fat. And that's the theme of today's Mexican takedown.
Fat people.
Or in this case, Gordo hombres who work in the Buffalo media.
Holy fucking press club food spread. Have you pendejos seen the stomachs on some of these guys? Now I know why some of these clowns are terrible at their job because they are too distracted eating Sabres cookies and trying to shovel as many calories in their mouths. Trying to make deadline? More like trying to expand your waistline you fat fucking twats. Look at some of these fat fucks...
CALIENTE TAKES CON LIL GREASICO
IYAYAYYAYYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAY!!
My name is Lil "I am the peeled banana in your fruit bowl of love" Greasico. So, I see that Apalodick has taken over Bills previews because scizzcakes hates Rex Ryan and anyone who is fat. And that's the theme of today's Mexican takedown.
Fat people.
Or in this case, Gordo hombres who work in the Buffalo media.
Holy fucking press club food spread. Have you pendejos seen the stomachs on some of these guys? Now I know why some of these clowns are terrible at their job because they are too distracted eating Sabres cookies and trying to shovel as many calories in their mouths. Trying to make deadline? More like trying to expand your waistline you fat fucking twats. Look at some of these fat fucks...
Yeah... I have another bowl of Pasta Sal Marinara sauce and I dont even have to tell you who is who here.
If this was a weight watchers commercial between Sucky and Bully, it would be BEFORE and WAYYYYYY BEFORE. Seriously, wear baggy clothes you fat fucks
Someone tell Paulrus Hamilton he needs to chew before he swallows. Wait? This isn't him?
This is supposed to be Jon Wario and he's posing with a CD to cover up his 6 chins
Bottom line: Stop fucking eating while you are working. You are getting crumbs all over the computers and sweating all over Jack Eichel. Players don't want to see powder sugar on your mouths after games and think you were making out with the Pillsbury dough boy. Yeah, talking to you Farrinton.
Oh, Bills lose, 63-11.
DANE'S FANTASY FOOTBALL
DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH & FUGAZIS
Vick and Megatron both shit the bed as predicted last week, each in their own spectacular fashion! Hope you and the DGWU fans got a chance to peep me guest hosting Loudmouths on SNY downstate last week – I went 3-1 picking on Live TV! The only problem is picking the Bills to cover -5.5 was my only loss. I’m still riding with you guys and like Boobie Dixon this week if last week’s diamond Karlos Williams is still stuck in the dark, quiet room.
Check out the clips from the show if you want to know what I look like. You’ll be disappointed I’m sure. http://web.sny.tv/media/video.jsp?content_id=514360283&topic_id=21536544&c_id=sny
Enough about me, onto week 5 – the embedded links are the ones to click on if you want to fully enjoy the Fugazi’s and Diamond’s in the rough this week!
Diamond 1 – Christine Michael. It was sad to see Lance Dunbar go down (especially because he was in one of my FanDuel Lineups) but it just might be an opening for Michael. Dallas traded for him for a reason and have slowly started to work him in. Somehow Randle tried to fumble by superman-ing the pile (that term can go so many ways and we know he likes to crank that) for the 2nd straight week and was quasi-benched against the Saints. That might leave only DMc as an obstacle to carries and in a game where the Pats come off a bye and are primed to put up 40+ it might be the right time to give the former Aggie some burn. Michael is talented, has had some good times playing in Texas, and all the previous praise for the Cowboys offensive line still applies.
7-10 Touches, 50+ Total Yards, TD – Not bad for out of nowhere…
Diamond 2 – Phillip Rivers. This just smells like the right spot for Rivers. A crafty veteran with a chance to step up and have a big game on Monday Night against another perennial conference threat in a muddled AFC 2nd tier? That, and would you have guessed that Phillip Rivers LEADS THE NFL IN PASSING YARDS AFTER 4 GAMES? Melvin Gordon hasn’t gotten going which means more Danny Woodhead on the field, which means more short passing which all counts for the man who is has more pride in his faith than even Russell Wilson! Maybe they should talk about the temptations of the flesh together (This really is must-see video)…I can see Gruden now – “You know Mike, I love the way Rivers slings it with that funky delivery, he’s spreading the ball it’s like it’s holy water at a Christening . I call him the Baptiser…”
320+ Passing Yards, 2+TD’s
Fugazi 1 – Latavius Murray. The Raiders went to Roy Helu at the end of last weeks game in Chicago after Murray simply didn’t play well. The pass-catching back’s snaps will continue to increase this week. Latavius draws Denver and their #1 ranked defense giving up only 276 yards/game. I expect Del Rio to think opening it up with David Carr gives them the best chance to win this division matchup, and with two great corners the young QB will say “Helu” for more snaps then the last 4 weeks. Game-flow Genius call here goes against Murray…
<75 Rushing Yards, 1Turnover
Fugazi 2 – Andy Dalton. The Red Rifle has been good so far this year, but this is just about the time he turns the gun on himself. Yes, they’ve had the #2 offense in the league putting up 423 yards/game and Dalton completed 67% of his passes for a 123 QB Rating, but there’s a Seattle team coming to town that despite winning last week somehow has something to prove. The Seahawks have forced opponents to punt on all but one drive since Kam Chancellor has been back, and they see this as a chance to change the narrative about their season. Not the best spot for Dalton, especially since their power running game in the form of Jeremy Hill has only gone over 40 yards once this year back in week 1, and is averaging 33 yards/game over the last 3 weeks. Dalton may be on the phone with his mom (and Obama) after this one…
<250 Passing Yards, 1TD, 2INT’s
FINAL PREDICTION
We need this win to silence the critics and gain some confidence. I might be foolish, but I'm guessing this is Tyrod's best game of the season and the defense rediscovers their pass rush.
Buffalo 30, Tennessee 17
Congrats on making this far... I've got nothing for you. Tell your friends.
Bottom line: Stop fucking eating while you are working. You are getting crumbs all over the computers and sweating all over Jack Eichel. Players don't want to see powder sugar on your mouths after games and think you were making out with the Pillsbury dough boy. Yeah, talking to you Farrinton.
Oh, Bills lose, 63-11.
DANE'S FANTASY FOOTBALL
DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH & FUGAZIS
Vick and Megatron both shit the bed as predicted last week, each in their own spectacular fashion! Hope you and the DGWU fans got a chance to peep me guest hosting Loudmouths on SNY downstate last week – I went 3-1 picking on Live TV! The only problem is picking the Bills to cover -5.5 was my only loss. I’m still riding with you guys and like Boobie Dixon this week if last week’s diamond Karlos Williams is still stuck in the dark, quiet room.
Check out the clips from the show if you want to know what I look like. You’ll be disappointed I’m sure. http://web.sny.tv/media/video.jsp?content_id=514360283&topic_id=21536544&c_id=sny
Enough about me, onto week 5 – the embedded links are the ones to click on if you want to fully enjoy the Fugazi’s and Diamond’s in the rough this week!
Diamond 1 – Christine Michael. It was sad to see Lance Dunbar go down (especially because he was in one of my FanDuel Lineups) but it just might be an opening for Michael. Dallas traded for him for a reason and have slowly started to work him in. Somehow Randle tried to fumble by superman-ing the pile (that term can go so many ways and we know he likes to crank that) for the 2nd straight week and was quasi-benched against the Saints. That might leave only DMc as an obstacle to carries and in a game where the Pats come off a bye and are primed to put up 40+ it might be the right time to give the former Aggie some burn. Michael is talented, has had some good times playing in Texas, and all the previous praise for the Cowboys offensive line still applies.
7-10 Touches, 50+ Total Yards, TD – Not bad for out of nowhere…
Diamond 2 – Phillip Rivers. This just smells like the right spot for Rivers. A crafty veteran with a chance to step up and have a big game on Monday Night against another perennial conference threat in a muddled AFC 2nd tier? That, and would you have guessed that Phillip Rivers LEADS THE NFL IN PASSING YARDS AFTER 4 GAMES? Melvin Gordon hasn’t gotten going which means more Danny Woodhead on the field, which means more short passing which all counts for the man who is has more pride in his faith than even Russell Wilson! Maybe they should talk about the temptations of the flesh together (This really is must-see video)…I can see Gruden now – “You know Mike, I love the way Rivers slings it with that funky delivery, he’s spreading the ball it’s like it’s holy water at a Christening . I call him the Baptiser…”
320+ Passing Yards, 2+TD’s
Fugazi 1 – Latavius Murray. The Raiders went to Roy Helu at the end of last weeks game in Chicago after Murray simply didn’t play well. The pass-catching back’s snaps will continue to increase this week. Latavius draws Denver and their #1 ranked defense giving up only 276 yards/game. I expect Del Rio to think opening it up with David Carr gives them the best chance to win this division matchup, and with two great corners the young QB will say “Helu” for more snaps then the last 4 weeks. Game-flow Genius call here goes against Murray…
<75 Rushing Yards, 1Turnover
Fugazi 2 – Andy Dalton. The Red Rifle has been good so far this year, but this is just about the time he turns the gun on himself. Yes, they’ve had the #2 offense in the league putting up 423 yards/game and Dalton completed 67% of his passes for a 123 QB Rating, but there’s a Seattle team coming to town that despite winning last week somehow has something to prove. The Seahawks have forced opponents to punt on all but one drive since Kam Chancellor has been back, and they see this as a chance to change the narrative about their season. Not the best spot for Dalton, especially since their power running game in the form of Jeremy Hill has only gone over 40 yards once this year back in week 1, and is averaging 33 yards/game over the last 3 weeks. Dalton may be on the phone with his mom (and Obama) after this one…
<250 Passing Yards, 1TD, 2INT’s
FINAL PREDICTION
We need this win to silence the critics and gain some confidence. I might be foolish, but I'm guessing this is Tyrod's best game of the season and the defense rediscovers their pass rush.
Buffalo 30, Tennessee 17
Congrats on making this far... I've got nothing for you. Tell your friends.
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