The Apologist
Let's face it. We're all fed up with the Bills. I can't remember the last time I talked to any kind of Bills fan who was still interested in the remainder of the regular season.
So when drawing my Dudespiration (do somethin') for this week's preview, I thought of one of my top five moments when the Dude lands in the office of the Malibu Police Chief ("A real reactionary").
Because honestly, I want to say this to the Bills right now...
Let's face it. We're all fed up with the Bills. I can't remember the last time I talked to any kind of Bills fan who was still interested in the remainder of the regular season.
So when drawing my Dudespiration (do somethin') for this week's preview, I thought of one of my top five moments when the Dude lands in the office of the Malibu Police Chief ("A real reactionary").
Because honestly, I want to say this to the Bills right now...
I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
They're playing like absolute garbage. I can't bring more energy to the topic than that.
So let's say you're like the rest of us at DGWUS (well... maybe just me) and you're looking for a reason to continue watching football. Let me suggest this. Go ahead and give up on the Bills. They're awful and the best we can hope for draft-wise is between 8 and 15. Vomit. But don't quit on the 2011-12 NFL season just yet (like the owners almost did, AM I RIGHT!?!?). Here are four reasons to keep watching...
They're playing like absolute garbage. I can't bring more energy to the topic than that.
So let's say you're like the rest of us at DGWUS (well... maybe just me) and you're looking for a reason to continue watching football. Let me suggest this. Go ahead and give up on the Bills. They're awful and the best we can hope for draft-wise is between 8 and 15. Vomit. But don't quit on the 2011-12 NFL season just yet (like the owners almost did, AM I RIGHT!?!?). Here are four reasons to keep watching...
Reason #1: Dan Marino Bad, Drew Brees Good
Dan Marino sucks. I mean, he was one of the greatest QB's ever, but screw him. Seeing another one of his records bumped off the top should bring a smile to Bills fans.
Marino set the single-season total yards record with 5,084 in 1984. Going into his 3rd to last game, Brees has 4,368, and he's at a pace of 341 a game in his last 4. At that speed, he'll blow by Marino by 300 or more depending how badly he feels like abusing the Vikings, Falcons and Panthers. And personal feelings aside, the Saints are fighting off the Niners for second in the NFC, so they still have plenty to play for.
Dan Marino sucks. I mean, he was one of the greatest QB's ever, but screw him. Seeing another one of his records bumped off the top should bring a smile to Bills fans.
Marino set the single-season total yards record with 5,084 in 1984. Going into his 3rd to last game, Brees has 4,368, and he's at a pace of 341 a game in his last 4. At that speed, he'll blow by Marino by 300 or more depending how badly he feels like abusing the Vikings, Falcons and Panthers. And personal feelings aside, the Saints are fighting off the Niners for second in the NFC, so they still have plenty to play for.
Bad. Ass.
(Doctor's Warning: Fans who feel they might go into a "THIS IS THE KIND OF GUY YOU SIGN FOR 20 MILLION A YEAR" rage-blackout may want to avoid this recommendation.)
Reason #2: Tebow
Look. I'm pretty sure (not sure) that I've ranted about this at some point during a streetcast...
...on second thought, I was ranting at strangers on the street. Maybe someone was recording it.
In any event, I like Tim Tebow a lot. Yes, he wears his religion on his sleeve. He also wins. Is there something unique about this season that's allowed him a streak he'll probably never have again? Absolutely. That's exactly why you should be watching.
Look. I'm pretty sure (not sure) that I've ranted about this at some point during a streetcast...
...on second thought, I was ranting at strangers on the street. Maybe someone was recording it.
In any event, I like Tim Tebow a lot. Yes, he wears his religion on his sleeve. He also wins. Is there something unique about this season that's allowed him a streak he'll probably never have again? Absolutely. That's exactly why you should be watching.
We've never seen this. No one's ever gone 7-1 with a stretch like Tebow's. Of the seven wins, SIX included fourth quarter comebacks. He had a game with the following stat line: 2-8 completed, 69 yds, 1 TD - 9 rushes, 43 yds, 1 TD. And they won. Weeks later, down 10 points with 4 minutes left to go against one of the league's top defenses and half the sport's fans waiting for him to fail... Seven plays. Seven completions. Touchdown. Minutes later, the Broncos were kicking the tying field goal. At that point, even Chicago had to know the game was over.
And to everyone saying, "It's the defense, not him," the defense plays this well because Tebow is on the sideline. They've admitted it. Just like the Colts' defense is phenomenally worse when they don't have Peyton to build leads for them, Denver's late stops don't mean a thing if Tebow can't find a way to win.
This amazing stretch might end any week now, but again, that's why I think you should catch it while it lasts.
And to everyone saying, "It's the defense, not him," the defense plays this well because Tebow is on the sideline. They've admitted it. Just like the Colts' defense is phenomenally worse when they don't have Peyton to build leads for them, Denver's late stops don't mean a thing if Tebow can't find a way to win.
This amazing stretch might end any week now, but again, that's why I think you should catch it while it lasts.
Reason #3: The Undefeated Green Bay Packers
No team has ever gone 13-0 so quietly before. It's funny now to think of the east coast bias shown to the Patriots as each week brought more and more excited ESPN announcer asking anyone who used to carry a football, "Can ANYONE beat the PATRIOTS!?"
With the Packers, it's almost as though the media has decided to cover it with an "Well, of course they won" attitude. I don't really have any problem with this. For the most part, I hate hype. And there's a very good to great chance that the Packers won't go undefeated (no, I don't have the guts to call that yet). But still, even I'd like to see a few less stories on Tim Tebow and a lot more about Aaron Rodgers and his "Oh my God, did you see that play?!" receiving corps.
No team has ever gone 13-0 so quietly before. It's funny now to think of the east coast bias shown to the Patriots as each week brought more and more excited ESPN announcer asking anyone who used to carry a football, "Can ANYONE beat the PATRIOTS!?"
With the Packers, it's almost as though the media has decided to cover it with an "Well, of course they won" attitude. I don't really have any problem with this. For the most part, I hate hype. And there's a very good to great chance that the Packers won't go undefeated (no, I don't have the guts to call that yet). But still, even I'd like to see a few less stories on Tim Tebow and a lot more about Aaron Rodgers and his "Oh my God, did you see that play?!" receiving corps.
Want... Play For... Us... Team...
Side note: He also has a shot to pass Marino's single-season yards mark. Joygasm.
Just like the Patriots in '08, the achilles heel of this team is their defense. I think they've got more than enough to tie the Pats' regular season mark of 16-0 (at K.C. then home for Chicago & Detroit ... all winnable), but I'm not nearly smart enough to say whether or not they've got enough to go all the way. They've won some close games against good teams, but in the playoffs, they're all close games against great teams (well, usually great). Obviously, they are the favorite, it's just hard to imagine a perfect season as possible. Still, it's clearly worth following.
(Doctor's Warning: See the warning under Reason #1.)
Just like the Patriots in '08, the achilles heel of this team is their defense. I think they've got more than enough to tie the Pats' regular season mark of 16-0 (at K.C. then home for Chicago & Detroit ... all winnable), but I'm not nearly smart enough to say whether or not they've got enough to go all the way. They've won some close games against good teams, but in the playoffs, they're all close games against great teams (well, usually great). Obviously, they are the favorite, it's just hard to imagine a perfect season as possible. Still, it's clearly worth following.
(Doctor's Warning: See the warning under Reason #1.)
Reason #4: Schedule, Schedule, Schedule
Huh? Stop watching television?! *PSH*
Ok, I'm stretching for a fourth reason. But hey, we've lost seven straight. I don't know how anyone can bring themselves to talk about football these days. I just want to watch. So if you're like me, make sure you stay on point with your clicker/sports bar/"hey, we're friend's, right? you still have the package, right?" friends.
For me, the game to watch this Sunday is Patriots vs. Broncos in the 4 o'clock slot. Pats are jostling for #1 overall and the Broncos, because they play in such a crap division, have to keep their eye on the 6-7 Chargers in their rear view. The Pats' defense is awful to very awful at times, and if Denver's D can keep it close at home, Tebow might have a shot at improving to 8-1 this season. Like him or hate him, you know you want to see Timmy lead a snow-filled, fourth quarter comeback at Mile High while Belichick scowls on the sideline.
On Monday, the football gods have finally given ESPN a good game to call. The 10-3 Steelers take on the 10-3 Niners. Both teams are in tight divisional/wild card races. Both teams play smashmouth defense. If you're like me, you like where this is headed.
For me, the game to watch this Sunday is Patriots vs. Broncos in the 4 o'clock slot. Pats are jostling for #1 overall and the Broncos, because they play in such a crap division, have to keep their eye on the 6-7 Chargers in their rear view. The Pats' defense is awful to very awful at times, and if Denver's D can keep it close at home, Tebow might have a shot at improving to 8-1 this season. Like him or hate him, you know you want to see Timmy lead a snow-filled, fourth quarter comeback at Mile High while Belichick scowls on the sideline.
On Monday, the football gods have finally given ESPN a good game to call. The 10-3 Steelers take on the 10-3 Niners. Both teams are in tight divisional/wild card races. Both teams play smashmouth defense. If you're like me, you like where this is headed.
So that's it. That's all I can muster for pro football in one sitting. Check back next week to see what we find to talk about besides the Bills here at DGWUS. Whatever you do, friends, ENJOY your Sunday.
Don't watch this gahbage.
Don't watch this gahbage.
Cheers.
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