Dropping in to say hello. You know the drill. Let's get weird.
I hate writing this because I am a fan and proponent of women’s sports.
You do not have to write this. You are not passive observer in what’s about to happen. You are a participant. As am I, for the moment.
Big fucking deal that you’re a self-proclaimed fan and proponent of women’s sports, chief. You’re a GD paid sports columnist. Your lede here is “I do the bare minimum for my job.” It is painstakingly accurate.
Minimum support of women athletes having been proclaimed, all manner of sins can now be cloaked. You’re a regular Frodo Baggins, Smallwood. One cock ring to rule them all, one cock ring to bind them.
I understand why the members of the United States women’s hockey team have threatened to boycott next month’s International Ice Hockey Federation women’s world championships over a wages-and-support dispute with USA Hockey, the governing body for ice hockey in the United States.
See, I get that you’ve know said this but I get the feeling that you’re gonna say a bunch of shit in just a minute that will make readers wonder “Does he?”
Still, I cannot side with the players in their demands that USA Hockey pay them an annual salary of $68,000, plus child care, maternity leave and other benefits.
He CANNOT. It’s impossible, you see. All the rest of us that side with the players here in their negotiation for some bare modicum of professional salary, we’re doing the impossible, you see. We’re the Big Fish of third-wave feminism or something.
What are you going to do with your newly recognized super powers? Me? I’m going to grow weed out of my coffee cup using mind bullets. Beat that!
I agree with the players that it is pathetic that they are only guaranteed $1,000 a month for six months leading to an Olympics.
I agree that USA Hockey’s offer to raise pay to $3,000 a month prior to the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea won’t make that much of a difference.
I fucking hate fucking sports fucking writers. This is classic bullshit. An industry that rewards jabroni (pl.) who stand up on the take less traveled; the take that seems, dare I say, impossible based on the facts available.
It’s like Woodsmall thinks recognizing the basic facts before taking the conclusion a different way gives him some sort of credibility here. It does the opposite.
But the players are asking USA Hockey to pay them as if they are full-time employees, and I agree with the organization’s stance that it doesn’t do that for players – male or female.
Up until recently, much of the white collar industry of the U.S. has built itself on the work of unpaid interns. If you’re Darren Rovell or even Wood Smalljohn, you probably point to the availability of internships that don’t pay as the logical first step for any entrepreneuring young professional.
Unpaid or underpaid work is foundational for the continuation of centers of economic power, regardless of the whether the result is fair for labor. Consideration of how economic power metes out the scraps from the proverbial table to the dogs working the floors has some value in assessing fairness, as does the question: “can workers actually fucking eat?”
That USA Hockey “doesn’t do that” is all well and good, but it has no place in this argument. Of course they don’t do that. That’s why women are striking. The centralized monopoly of American hockey has no interest in paying any fucking body as a full-time employee until it is made to care.
Since the International Olympic Committee changed its rules in 1986 to allow professional athletes to participate, there has been a growing misconception that all athletes who compete at events like that should be paid as if they are professional athletes.
The belief that women should be “paid” here is not a misconception, it’s a GD belief, you ornery toad fucker. The fact that USA Hockey *makes money* off these athletes suggests that they should be paid.
That simply is not how it works.
THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE. THAT IT IS "NOT HOW IT WORKS" IS THE WHOLE REASON THE WOMEN'S TEAM IS STRIKING. CHRIST.
Athletes are compensated for competing in events the Olympics or a world championship based on the financial power of the sport, the country and the governing bodies of a sport in a country.
They’re compensated based on whether the organizing body chooses to pay them. Market factors don’t magically create a contract-for-compensation when there’s a certain profit margin achieved. There are choices here.
It’s misleading to say men get paid millions of dollars to represent the USA at the Olympics so women should get the $68,000 they are demanding. To repeat, USA Hockey does not pay the men millions of dollars. It doesn’t even pay them $68,000.
This is hot steaming bullshit.
The question of “should women hockey players get paid” is not answered in reference to the fact that men get paid. It’s answered in reference to whether USA Hockey actually values having the best women players compete. If they do, they will shell out the cash here, and they should. If they don’t, at least we can see an honest answer here. Hell, we’re already seeing it.
Referring to the fact men get paid by the NHL is a red herring. Men’s hockey in America has received support from USA Hockey – support when they provided negligible infrastructure for women to play – for generations. As it turned out, that support did not take the form of employment contracts because the IOC said players had to be amateurs. Fast-forward generations and USAH doesn’t need to pay players on the Men’s team because these players already make good money. Fair enough.
While USAH was supporting the talent pool that allows its best players to get their payday, Women’s Hockey globally had to fight for any recognition by the national governing bodies. It’s been less than 20 years since it was even part of the Winter Olympics. Unlike the Men’s game, the Women’s team hasn’t had the generations of support growing the game into a top-class money making enterprise. USAH has that role to fill now, and they should. Hiding behind “we don’t pay the men” is fuckery. They don’t because there’s no need to; they don’t pay the Women’s team players because they don’t want to.
If the men want to get paid, too? Let them negotiate for their own damn selves.
Either USA Hockey gives a shit or it doesn't.
In 1998, 12 years after the IOC allowed professional athletes, the NHL decided it would benefit from interrupting its regular season and sending its players to the Olympics. Though they still haven’t won shit at the senior team level. USA Hockey certainly benefited from having NHL players at the Olympics, but the players’ multi-million-dollar salaries come from their contracts with NHL teams. In the United States, governing bodies such as USA Hockey, do control the professional leagues.
Unfortunately, there is no high-paying professional hockey league for women.
Not that the ladies here are asking for a “high-paying” league to be financed by USAH here. They’re looking for a middle-class income to play at the sport’s highest level.
The National Women’s Hockey League is a four-team league with a salary cap of $270,000 per team. Players get a share of the home gate after 500 tickets are sold.
Does anyone think Teenyrod here actually gives a shit about the NWHL? A quick search of his bylines suggests this is actually the first time he's written about women's hockey. Not that this matters because he's totally a big proponent and fan of women's sports. Just not this one, in particular, which is why he's here to correct the record on why these athletes should just learn to eat their effort for breakfast.
Because they can’t make a living wage as full-time professional hockey players, the players want USA Hockey to supplement their income so they can live as full-time hockey players.
No: because they provide a valuable labor service to USAH, they would like compensation.
The U.S. Census Bureau estimates the median household income in the United States for 2016 was $53,889. DID YOU REALLY GO THE CENSUS BUREAU, FUCKBOI? Basically, the players want USA Hockey to pay them nearly $15,000 more than the median income, plus benefits, for a nine-day tournament once a year except for an Olympic year.
They want what they want. They are negotiating. It’s their bargaining position and they’re bargaining with their own participation in a tournament that I assume is one of the highlights of their careers. THIS. IS. THEIR. RIGHT.
Professional sports are businesses, not charities.
Wait. Either this is a professional sport or not. If it’s a professional sport, then these people deserve to get paid at least as much as the senior manager of some local HVAC outfit.
An athlete’s income is directly related to how much revenue he/she can generate, individually, or as part of a team and league.
This is another piece of fuckery. Athletes are paid the bare minimum that an owner chooses.
Revenue-generation may go into it, but all you have to do is look at NFL player salaries vs. NFL revenue to know that players are boned to the extent ownership wishes to bone them. It’s the same here.
Either USAH cares.
Or it doesn’t.
WNBA players make a fraction of the minimum salary of NBA players because the women’s game only generates a fraction of the revenue that the men’s game does.
This is a great example because the WNBA started as a way to build the game of women’s hoops and pay women a decent wage to play. It has never been a great revenue generator, but ownership decided – chooses – to give a shit and keep it going. Call it charity, call it optimistic pseudo-capitalism, whatever. It’s a choice to give a shit and try to create something that hasn’t been here before.
Conversely, female tennis players successfully demanded equal prize money at Grand Slam tournaments because their competition is as profitable as the men’s.
Nope. This was but one of the justifications for Grand Slam payouts to be equal; also included in the conversation was equal effort and, yes, the cynical cyclical impact of arguing that less popular sports deserve less funding when less funded sports are always less popular.
Unfortunately for the women hockey players, they can’t even make an argument like the one that women soccer players have made in their dispute with the United States Soccer Federation.
The argument that equal effort and equal participation means equal pay? Yes they can.
Although they’ve cherry-picked the numbers in their claim for equal pay, the women soccer players do generate significant money for the USSF when they host friendlies and participate in the FIFA World Cup.
Cherry-picking arguments? You mean like referring to revenue-generation as the only factor in athlete compensation?
Or like making points in a vacuum whilst ignoring the historical nuances of misogyny-in-sport and its impacts on the financial viability of a sport featuring women?
USAH brought in $41.9 million in 2014, a year when the U.S. Women’s team won a silver medal. They generate income. Players looking to take a fraction of that is a non-starter? FOH.
Women athletes work just as hard and train as hard as their male counterparts. In a perfect world, they would be paid like their male counterparts.
Eat my increasingly shriveled balls, you feckless human earworm. The world doesn’t get perfect by accident. People choose to be the change they want to see, or they sit behind their word processor spinning some ridiculous yarn about how women totally deserve more money except not actually.
But it isn’t a perfect world and most athletes – male and female - don’t get rich or even earn a living wage for competing in their chosen sport.
THERE IT IS.
First of all, no one is looking to get “rich” here.
Second of all, Woodslittle here finally gets to the point. After all of the pontificating on how much he really does support women’s sports, he drops the hammer.
Tough shit, ladies. The world is hard and y’all can get fucked if you deign to ask for enough money to survive.
Dear God, what a C-O-C-K Cock statement.
Is the best you got - “ladies, life is hard?” This is your point? The literal last line of your thesis here? In what fucking universe do you live in, Monsieur Tiny Forest, where you think any woman needs reminding that the world isn’t perfect and doesn’t give a shit about them? This is, guaranteed, the thing that virtually all women understand to be true without needing a reminder from a walking talking "well actually" reply.
Where the fuck do you get off, you dirty ass of a feral cat, thinking you’re providing some epiphany that settles the debate here?
Women’s Hockey Team: “We want to get paid a living wage.”
USAH, looking up from a blog written by James Little Dick: “Well, you see, he brings up a good point. Life isn’t perfect. Now fuck off and make me a sandwich.”