Welcome to my Week 6 Buffalo Bills preview. My apologies for not providing you, the dear readers, with a Lebowski quote themed Bills preview for last week's game against the Fuggles. I actually wrote almost half the post in a car en-route to Montreal for a bachelor party, and fully planned on finishing and posting it at some point while I was there, I really did. However, after arriving on the scene, what followed was a 27 hour bender the likes I have not been a part of in years. Which of course, was my first reason for this week's Big Lebowski quote. Naturlly.I have three other connections to this week's title...
1. I feel like we all need a strict drug regimen to keep our minds straight while dealing with these Bills. Dear lord. With the exception of the opener against the Chiefs, every week has driven us to the brink of insanity. Two huge comeback wins, one 14 point lead blown to lose the game on the last play, and of course last week's odd domination/almost last minute choke. Tack on all the injuries to the secondary, offensive line, and now receivers, and this team will kill at least 37 people this season due to strokes or heart attacks. I would suggest that getting really drunk would help you deal with it, however, I have tried that nearly every week and I still freak out with a terrifying rapid heart beat. Drugs it is.
*DGWU does not support the use of illegal drugs. Except meth, which has given us the birth of Intervention, Breaking Bad, and obviously Hoarders.
2. Will somebody get Merriman back on the drugs? Seriously. I read earliest this week that his effin' achilles is bothering him AGAIN! And, I just received a text that says he didn't even travel with the team to Jersey. I hope everyone is with me when I say, pump this dude full of 'roids again and feed him enough cocaine to make Tony Montana blush. Who is in charge of these things? Where is the guy I knew from college whose job it was to keep Jim Kelly's Gatorade bottle full of vodka when he was watching from the sidelines? (Post-career! Post-Career!)
3. Eli Manning always looks confused and paranoid. You think his teammates would have passed some sticky icky onto him by now. Kid needs to caaaaaaalm down and relax sometimes. I usually feel bad for him, even when he is winning. Imagine having incredible pressure to live up to your father's insane expectations and then live in the shadow of your much more talented older brother. I don't give a fuck if he won a Super Bowl trophy! Look at him! Every time he throws the ball he looks like he either just shit his pants or he just remembered that he left a bootleg porn vid in his parent's VCR. (Sidenote: Both feel like punches to the stomach)
Keep in mind that these Giants are still 3 - 2 and have looked very good at times this year. Hakeem Nicks is a huge receiving threat, something that has given Buffalo's weak secondary fits this year. Which reminds me! Have you EVER seen such a paradoxical pass coverage in your life? These guys will give up big pass after big pass, which has driven me fucking nuts this season, but have still managed a ridiculous number of interceptions. I don't get it. It has been either all or nothing....and I kinda like it.
What other incredible insider news do I have for you? Well, I could go over all of the injury reports and what-not, but you can read those anywhere. So here are the injuries that will happen THIS week:
Giants: Victor Cruz - High Ankle Sprain, Justin Tuck - Strained Scrotum, Brandon Jacobs - Lodged Bear Claw, Steve Smith - Philadelphia Eagles, Jason Pierre-Paul - Fuckin' French
Bills: Naaman Roosevelt - Broken hand (of course), C.J. Spiller - Cracked ego, Terrance McGee - Leg fell off, Kellen Heard - Fall into obscurity, Lee Smith - Torn rotator cuff leading to Tommy John surgery, and of course Freddie Jackson's head will explode from extreme awesomeness. TO THE LINKS!
5 reasons to hate the New York Giants: Buffalo Wins
I love leading with these. Joe drops some much loved hate.
Should the Bills trade for a Wide Receiver?: WNY Water Cooler
Steve talks about the Buffalo WR trade rumors.
Buffalo Barks!: Kenny's 2 Pennies
If you are not watching Kenny's Bills (and 'Cuse) video recaps, you are truly missing out.
3 guys who need to show up for the Bills: Buffalo Wins
Title says it all. And I agree with everything Joe wrote here.
Breaking down the rest of Buffalo's schedule: Buffalo Lowdown
Brad Andrews plays a little game I use to drive myself crazy with.
Enjoy the game this weekend and GO BILLS!!! I'm feeling high school nostalgic today: