Before I jump into the sadness that is another Buffalo Bills' draft class, let me set a scene for you. As some of you may know, I work in education. I will not say exactly what I do or where I do it, but keep in mind that is what I do for a "real" living. I actually really enjoy it 99.9% of the time. I am one of those jerks that truly loves what they do. However, days like today, I decidely want to jump out of a window. Why, you may ask? Several reasons: It is currently 68 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous. It is St. Patrick's Day and I am very Irish. It is also the first full day of the NCAA tournament, which as The Apologist put it, is the first day of the greatest sports month of the year. Where am I? At my school until 10pm tonight because Parent-Teacher conferences (which only happen twice-a-year) are scheduled for this evening. That my friends is an EPIC FAIL. But I'll stop bitchin' and continue onto the....uh....other kind of bitchin'.
THE 2007 DRAFT:
Awesome name. My high school buddy Nate was most excited about this pick, just for the possibilities after he made a big play: Aaaaaaaaaaah Youuuuuuuuuuuuu! But alas, it was not to be. C.J. was cut before the season began. In fact, he was one of the very first players cut in the very beginning of training camp. Bad pick, right? Nope. C.J. was picked up as an injury replacement mid-2009 by the St. Louis Rams and has gone on to become a fantastic 3rd down pass rusher. In spot situations this past season, C.J. racked up four sacks on a surprisingly strong St. Louis defense. How many did Chris Kelsay have this season as a full-time starter? 3.5. Better give him an extension.
Derek came out to Buffalo after being one of the heroes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in which Boise State shocked Oklahoma. You may also remember the post-game in which Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. (Sidenote: The Scizz's better half was best friends in high school with said cheerleader's cousin! Pathetic name-drop!) Moving on, Schouman never amounted to anything in Buffalo, besides a very strong opening game in 2009 that ended in a horrific knee-injury. He also now resides in St. Louis. I sense a pattern.
Meh. He was a solid gunner on kick-offs and punts for three years, but when it was time for a new contract, the Bills decided to move-on (which is what Buffalo tends to do with long-snappers too). I'm pretty indifferent. However, he did do this once:
Remember this guy? Of course you don't. He had a forgetful rookie season and was cut before the 2008 season due to fumble issues. Since then his career has included being waived by the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, and the Hartford Colonials of the UFL. He is now on the Toronto Argonauts' practice squad. Ouch.
Fuck this guy for three reasons:
1.) For his ability to hold onto the ball in the pocket longer than Rob Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, and J.P. Losman COMBINED.
2.) For his career stat line of 30 INTs'-to-26 TDs, 60.5 comp %, and 75,4 passer rating
3.) For actually convincing me at one point during the 2008 season that he was the real deal and would lead us to the promise land that is the playoffs. NO PICTURE FOR YOU, YOU HANDSOME SONUVABITCH!!!!