Hey did you know Craig Schaller still exists? The guy who was fired from WHAM for being a racist asshole with no sense of decency? Well, like a bigot moth to a bigot flame, he's BACK, this time to defend the historically beleaguered, down-on-his-luck, the man keeps stomping on his feelings, Donald Sterling.
It really isn't surprising that this prick is back in the news - and by news, I mean DGWU Sports - since he's had such a tremendous career to date, what with being fired and then finding no work apart from guest-blogging here that one time (we paid him in bananas and he didn't get the joke). I imagine that Schaller has been waiting for a week of current events like this since he was let go from the world of radio ... if he's going to be known for a thing, he might as well run with it. And while one might think that I would let this lie - the motherfucker is just sad at this point, why bother? - a good friend of mine once wrote that we have to, in essence, burn the fucking idiots into the ground with our rebuttals. Not to mention it remains the Buffalo sports off-season, I am clueless about drafts, the Mets terrify me, Liverpool even more so, and the Red Bulls aren't worth talking about here until July, so here I am. Let's get after it.
I enjoy the failure to appreciate the name as an adjective, making this headline hilariously obtuse.
I am really worried about where our country is headed.
I am also worried about where our country is headed, but you tell me your reasons first.
The NBA has come down hard on Los Angeles Clippers owner, Donald Sterling, for his racist views, and it has to have anyone in a position of power worried.
Assuming that you haven’t spoken to any NBA owner or executive, any person who has a billion dollars, or anyone in a position of power over anything other than a righteously meaty hoagie, you need to re-write this, Craigy. What you meant to say is “anyone in a position of power who also happens to be an asshole with no fucking control over his mouth and no respect for the people he associates with in his business or private life and who is such a monumental dick that someone might just release a tape of him revealing just how fucking terrible he is." Perhaps those guys should be worried. We agree on this.
On the one hand, sure it is a good thing that everyone wants to see racial relations improving in the country. We have come an awful long way since the Jim Crow days of segregation and sitting in the back of the bus. That is definitely a good thing, and I am not disputing that in any way.
Woo boy, starting here makes us sure that you are DEFINITELY going to dispute this. Even if I didn't know anything about you, this would be transparent as all fuck. "On the one hand, it’s good that we’re doing good things and trying not to accept racism. On the other hand it isn’t."
While we're here, Trayvon Martin wants a word with your blanket “we’ve come a long way” bullshit. We freed slaves after the Civil War, yet here we are, in 2014, and Donald Sterling is telling his girlfriend to not be seen with black people. PROGRESS.
What concerns me most is everyone's extreme reaction to anyone in this country who still has those antiquated views. Should those people, like Donald Sterling, still have those kind of beliefs that they don't want to be associated with black people? No, obviously not. But it's not simple to change them.
What concerns me most is that you’re hideous, Schaller, but that’s tangential. It might not be that simple to change Donald Sterling’s views, but it is that simple to say GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR LEAGUE YOU UNBELIEVABLE PRICK. I don’t need Donald Sterling’s views changed. The NBA doesn’t need his views changed. No one said to him “Change Your Views OR ELSE!” The one and only priority: Get him the fuck out. “This won’t change his views” is a straw man, and an unbelievably silly one, you taint.
We are in a difficult time in our countries history when it comes to racial acceptance. It was only about fifty years ago that Martin Luther King was rising to prominence, saying that he had a dream.
Wait. You said we’d come a long way! Now you're saying it was just yesterday that white guys like you could rape and kill black people with a high probability of zero consequences. Not that you would have, but I get the feeling you liked having the freedom to do so.
“It was only fifty years” is the thing that racists pieces of shit say when they don’t want to give up the last shred of hope they have that their race will propel them to wealth and dominion as it has so many other white guys. Philip Seymour Hoffman wasn’t even fifty when he died and that cat accomplished a shit load. Stop selling us all so fucking short. Stop excusing the people who can’t get on board with being a decent human being. Stop being ugly and bald and having a terrible website.
It was only fifty or so years ago that major portions of the south still had racial segregation, and most of the rest of the country still hadn't accepted desegragation [sic].
BUFFALO. Buffalo has racial segregation. FUCKING TODAY. Racism isn't some thing that happened before was fixed, and is now just kicking around in some stodgy old dudes who can't evolve, suggesting that we all shouldn't get so bent out of shape when that stodgy old dude says something outrageous bigoted.
Racism is pervasive and present and down the fucking road. Fuck you.
And those people are all pricks. Fuck, they were pricks then. Being a racist douche was inexcusable FIFTY FUCKING YEARS AGO and it’s even more so now. But here you are. Beating that drum. Just hanging on to the vestiges of the most embarrassing and terrible and tragic thing about American history (wiping out entire tribes of Native Americans is a close second if you're keeping score), just so fucking eager to live in a world where every single fucking thing goes your way just because you’re white – as if that isn’t mostly still the fucking case – and you’re hanging on in this perpetual state of blue balls for white power, asking us to tolerate just the tip of those remaining human vessels of American racism; asking us to excuse those who “just don’t know better” as if popular culture and art and music and literature and government (in part at least) and our better angels haven’t been urging us towards some better version of ourselves for fucking centuries, and you ask us to Just. Wait. Just wait for the dickholes to catch up to the rest of us as they progress at an inexplicably glacial pace such that we’re not even sure they've progressed at all.
Short answer: Not. Fucking. Likely. I am done waiting.
Racial acceptance is a long process, and MLK's dream is getting closer to being realized each and every year. However, it still leaves millions and millions of people who are still around who don't exactly share that dream.
Step One: Realize people of color are people.
Step Two: Repeat.
Such a long fucking process. You sure nailed it.
Is it these people's fault that they still feel this way?
Does still having these feelings that have been so deeply instilled in them in their childhood make them bad people?
I don't believe so.
You also believe that there are too many Asians on the LPGA tour because America. Maybe consider that the things you believe are horseshit, reprehensible and strongly suggest that you dry hump traffic on the BQE.
Thank god this is mostly true. Even if it’s only a consequence of people being too scared to say what they believe out loud, I will take it.
Donald Sterling is a longtime repuded (not a word) scumbag. It has been well documented. No one likes him. No one has ever liked him. But for the NBA to now ban him for life from attending any of the games of the team that he owns, or any other NBA team is ridiculous. (To require that they *not* ban him, even more so ridiculous, Christ.) To ban him from even entering the NBA arena that he owns for any purpose, is extremely harsh. (Does he own it? NOT SO FUCKING MUCH) To attempt to strong-arm the other owners into voting that Sterling be forced to sell his team that he has owned for decades is too much.
"Too much" is trying to prevent minority tenants from renting in your buildings because you didn’t want your buildings seen with brown folk. That’s too much. A billionaire being forced to sell a piece of property, when that property's value is entirely dependent on its association with the properties of other men who have decided that billionaire's presence is untenable, and the sale of which will net him hundreds of millions of dollars, is not "too much." In fact, now that I think about it, this solution seems downright insufficient. I will now be starting a “Donald Sterling for Craig Schaller’s Ball Washer” campaign. … But, I see an objection in the gallery?
All of this for Sterling's [sic] making comments about how he feels about black people and minorities in a one on one conversation with a person he trusted that he had no knowledge of being recorded, is way over the top.
FUCK YOU for making that parenthetical. Why does her race matter unless you're making a solid, central point about Sterling's hypocrisy and the reasonable conclusion that such a fucking hypocrite should be burned at the stake of public opinion? Instead, you mention it in passing because ... you're a prick? It undercuts the whole idea of rushing to the defense of some shit-for-brains senile piece of garbage who (a) fucks around, (b) fucks around with a woman of color, and (c) tries to exercise control over her as some bizarre reassurance that his white golfing buddies won’t play Six Degrees of Donald Sterling and realize that the woman he is having intimate relations with had some harmless personal contact with a black guy earlier in the day.
That aside, this is the thing about this story that none of us should care a fucking lick about – whether it was somehow unfair or an invasion of Sterling’s privacy when he was taped. Again I refer you to his billions, his sexual escapades, and his treatment of people of color. This is his personal business, his problem to deal with, and not our concern. He is not a man deserving or in need of your sympathy … just your scorn.
This could lead to a whole new industry of wire tapping and secret recording. Now that everyone has seen what happens when someone is caught making racially insensitive comments, light bulbs should be going off in everyone's heads who have feelings of "wanting to get ahead". I think it might even become part of our vernacular.
WHOA WHOA WHOA. This is getting interesting. Go on….
We will call it "bagging a Sterling." (Actually that's something else completely but I digress) You have a problem with your boss? Take him out to lunch or dinner, and buy him a couple of drinks. "Sterling-bait" him with a question of something like, "did you see there was another homicide in the ghetto last night?" When the boss answers with something like, "Yeah, those blacks are a bunch of violent thugs", simply take your tape to Human Resources and say, "Do we really want a bigot like this working for our company?"
First of all, YES. In New York you are totally allowed to do this because New York has a one party consent law. If you are the party to a conversation, you can TOTALLY record it. It’s entirely legal. Now, you can’t really extort people with it, but if you’re just in it to fuck someone over and reveal them to be shitty, it’s fair game. If someone says "those blacks are a violent bunch of thugs" and you are able to get that motherfucker fired, good fucking work.
While the one party consent rule is not the law in California, there is no evidence that Sterling did not know he was being recorded other than the fact that we can’t believe he would have gone off on a “black Jews are treated WAY WORSE in Israel so obviously I’m not that bad” rant if he had known there'd be tape. Sterling's history suggests just the opposite, of course: that recorded or not, this asshole felt like he could say or do whatever he wanted since he has been apparently immune to any true consequences for being awful.
“But, Dubs, she was his girlfriend, is nothing sacred?” Well, apparently marriage isn’t sacred for him. And neither is fucking federal law. Karma is one sexy lady, let me tell you.
Easy peasy, right? In today's day and age, everyone has a tape recorder. It's right on my iPhone, under the utilities icon. A voice recorder that even a monkey could operate. Everyone who is in a position of power or in the public eye in any way should be very very worried after this. Like the ol' Santa Claus song goes, "you better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm telling you why. Everyone could be recording what you say."
This is all delightful fear-mongering, and even though privacy laws are pretty important in my eyes, I don’t really hate this idea. Try not being an asshole and not saying racist garbage, even in jest, and be nice to the people you let into your private life. I’ve said outrageous shit before. Hell, it’s probably been recorded once or twice on a podcast. But the people who I have been a shithead around in those moments adore me and respect me and it’s because I’m not a terrible person.
Is this a slippery slope? Yeah, I guess. But right now we're at "Donald Sterling gets banned from the NBA," so I'm not really worried whether this turns into a social trend where people stop trusting each other out of fear of being recorded saying outrageously bigoted things. I suppose we can deal with that once it starts becoming a problem beyond a dude who deserves everything he's getting.
AND YES. Those people in power or in the public eye should be worried of us little guys because, frankly, it’s about time we came up to bat and took some cuts at the powerful bigots of our nation. They should be terrified.
Hey, if you are living in some kind of understanding, empathetic, white collar, tree hugging, graduated from Princeton, politically correct world where no one ever says anything even slightly racially insensitive...well, consider yourself lucky.
Christ fuck you. The idea that human decency exists only for the professional, environmentalist, Ivy-league-educated class is abhorrent. Also, Sterling did not fucking tell a “racially-motivated joke.” Again with the straw man. Sterling ordered his mistress to a certain standard of conduct and in doing so revealed a great deal about how he thinks of his employees. This is not “I couldn’t see the black guy in the dark until he smiled” or “I’m going to drop the Huxtable kids at the pool” before you’re about to take a shit, though fuck you very much if anyone thinks those are funny or cool jokes that will never subject you to the scorn of decent people. This is also not a bar where you’re not allowed to tell racist ass jokes, it’s the fucking NBA. You are such a tool bag, Schaller, I want to throw you in a shed, lock the door and forget about you for eighteen years.
You are living in a world that for most people, doesn't exist. I live in a more true reality, where people of all races aren't afraid to say questionable things about other races or nationalities--sometimes in a joking manner, and sometimes not.
Nobody has a sense of humor anymore. Everyone needs to just lighten up. No one is able to express themselves anymore or have any feelings that could be negative. The P.C. police want to turn everyone into mindless drones, who all think the same way.
Hold up. “People of all races aren’t afraid to tell racist jokes” / “Nobody has a sense of humor anymore.”
Also, I want in on a Captaincy with the P.C. police. I will fuck your universe up, noobs.
That's not America. Not the america I want to live in.
Ok, leave. I'll buy you a ticket.
The reaction to Donald Sterling is wildly inconsistent as well.
WILDLY INCONSISTENT OH MY SIDES.
Google Aaron Hernandez and find me “what a colossal waste of talent” or something similar in a piece that doesn’t actually mention that he fucking murdered someone. Where do you fucking live that all you hear are racist jokes that no one finds funny but haven't heard the condemnation of Aaron Hernandez, Schaller? Is the rent cheap in your asshole?
You get caught making racist comments in our culture, and everyone says, "What a sad excuse for a human being! That guy has no place in our society. He deserves to rot in hell!" Yet you can kill someone, and everyone says, "what a shame. He was a great player." Michael Vick killed dozens of dogs, burning some of them alive, and he is still a starting quarterback in the largest media market in the country, still cheered on every Sunday. Leonard Little and Donte Stallworth got drunk and killed someone while driving drunk, then continued playing and no one batted an eye.
Anyone else surprised these are all players with darker skin than Schaller? Anyone else surprised Dany Heatley isn’t mentioned here? No? Me neither.
To the point about why Sterling gets this treatment, assuming that we've been easy on some black guys who did worse: outrage is the only way that someone feels a consequence for something like this. Without outrage over Sterling, there is a substantial risk that he remains an owner in good standing. Without outrage over Vick or Hernandez or Stallworth or Little? Generally law enforcement doesn't use outrage as a metric for whether criminal offenses should be prosecuted, so these men were convicted, served their sentence, and then returned to society in equilibrium having paid their judicially determined debt.
Not to mention that the guys mentioned have gotten seriously shit upon for what they've done and Schaller is once again flaunting his raging boner for straw men and their fuckable pliability.
Doesn't that seem inconsistent to you? It sure does to me.
No you are.
Then what is the consequence for owning a team of players you consider de facto slaves? That’s what’s missing from bullshit takes we've seen like this over the past week. If Sterling can’t change - as shown by the bigot apologists rushing to remind us that change is hard, guys - and if the NBA has a right to shape its structure and membership as it sees fit - as this right is inherent in NBA rules and in the First Amendment's Freedom of Association - what’s the solution? A player walk-out, risking contractual breaches and lost earnings? Why require that the players fix the problem that Sterling’s fat racist mouth started? He was vetted when he bought the team, he was a racist prick at various points in between, and his time with an owning stake in the National Basketball Association comes to an end when his fellow white billionaires determine that his personal baggage – the baggage of a life lived without learning basic decency for those who differ from him – is not to be associated with.
As for the rest of us, watch what you say, and watch out for microphones. You too could become a victim of Sterlingcide.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.