WHAT IN THE SERIAL FUCK.
Daniel Murphy had a baby. Daniel Murphy took his collectively-bargained contractually guaranteed time off to go be with that baby. Daniel Murphy also plays for a terrible fucking baseball team, my beloved New York Metropolitans, who are certainly not in a playoff race of any kind during this the first week of the interminably long 162 game MLB season, and will certainly not be in any sort of playoff race ever again in all likelihood.
Daniel Murphy has his priorities in COMPLETE. FUCKING. ORDER.
Mike Francesa and the geniuses of the WFAN Morning Show "Boomer & Carton"? These guys are monumental douchebags. Sources tell me that each of them has physically been used to clean the undercarriage of Fran Drescher and Bea Arthur on consecutive evenings. Sources, guys.
First, Francesa... (quotes stolen from NY Daily News)
"One day I understand. And in the old days they didn’t do that. But one day, go see the baby be born and come back. You’re a Major League Baseball player. You can hire a nurse to take care of the baby if your wife needs help,”
“What are you going to do? I mean you are going to sit there and look at your wife in a hospital bed for two days? ... Your wife doesn’t need your help the first couple of days; you know that you’re not doing much the first couple days with the baby that was just born.”
“For a baseball player. You take a day, all right. Back in the lineup the next day! What are you doing? ... I guarantee you are not sitting there holding your wife’s hand. . . . I had three kids. . . I was at the birth and was back to work the next day. I didn’t see any reason not to be working. Harrison (Francesa’s son) was born at nine in the morning. I worked that day. What was I gonna do, sit with my wife in the hospital?”
Boomer Esiason, on WFAN’s morning show, took it even a step further, saying Murphy should have insisted his wife “have a C-section before the season starts. I need to be at Opening Day, I’m sorry.”
His partner, Craig Carton agreed: “Assuming the birth went well, the wife is fine, the baby is fine, 24 hours and then you get your ass back to your team and you play baseball.”
Kids rule. Babies rule. Being a dad is FUCKING RAD. Yes, you should hold your wife's hand after she just did the thing that is so much more difficult than any of the things that pissant men do. Yes, you should help while the baby is crying and your wife wants to nap because she just pushed a fucking HUMAN BEING through a hole in her body. Holy shit, these guys are either trolling or stupid assholes or both. Either way, fuck them because this is shit that men still unironically and unsarcastically believe with all their heart - that fatherhood is a spectator sport, that raising kids doesn't involve real work, and that neither the kids you've just created nor the wife who has worked and will continue to work harder than you are worth staying home for a few days.