Uh oh. NBA post (that's the sound of a 1,000 readers navigating away from the site).
Basketball is the secret favorite sport of 3/4s of the Deeg. The lockout has been occupying much of my internet perusal time lately. It's such a fucking bummer that we're not going to get Association Ball for a long while because the end of last season was INCREDIBLE. The villains being cast down by the team of unlikely anti-heroes led by a giant awkward foreigner having the clutchest playoffs ever next to D-Wade in '06? WHY THE CASH GRAB NOW, STERN!?!!?
ON TO MY POINT. Jason Whitlock is one of my favorite people in all of sports media. He has incredibly strong opinions that are frequently brilliant and sometimes piles of dumbfuckery. He is unafraid to examine the societal side of sports, most notably the 400 lb. Gorilla in the NBA which everyone ignores: race. Also, he's morbidly obese.
"@WhitlockJason: Jordan has never stood for anything. Now he wants to stand up when it's time to snatch money from black kids. BIG MISTAKE by Nike/Jordan."
Articles like this are why I wish I could write like Whitlock. In it, Whitlock takes Jordan down for taking a stand on something for the first time in his career: demanding the playes take a cut in revenue split potentially down to 47% (verified here in the paper of record). I read that and did a coffee spit take.
FUCK YOU MJ.
I'm not going to be able to do as excellent a hit job on MJ as Whitlock, so I won't try. I'll just reinforce a few points here:
- I never liked you...Oakley and Ewing and Starks were so much cooler than you and Pippen, yet you had all the talent. F you.
- Remember when they asked you about child labor and Nike? And you said I just want to play basketball? Fuck yourself.
- You picked Kwame Brown, and then signed him to the most retarded contract in the history of the league. You have never had a successful team, and you never will. You are a horrible executive....starting with the decision to put Pro Basketball on Tobacco Road. Idiot.
- Your signing/drafting of Adam Morrison (and your fellow idiot executives making similar decisions across the league) are why we are in this position. And you have the audacity to go ahead and demand for a less than 50% revenue split? Go fuck yourself with your gambling addiction and your stupid earrings.
- You've betrayed every single kid who ever looked up to you as a way to get out from under the shackles of dead end poverty (whoa....fuck it, I stand by it).
Alright. That's all. I hate MJ and if you love the NBA you should all read that article by Whitlock. GO KNICKS!