Alright, so the reason I never write about "sports" is because all of my teams are steaming piles of dog shit. Writing about them is tantamount to watching the dog shit: cool, harden and turn white on the corner every day when I walk to work. And Barrister has been begging me to write something for once in my life.
This thought process started with the Buffalo Sabres Twitter account tweeting about some Dancing With The Stars contestant. So turns out she's on Terry Pegula's record label (diversify yo bonds); mystery solved likely. I was sincerely afraid this was part of a "pinkification" operation to reach out to female fans. Because let's be honest, I'm sure no one has learned anything from While the Men Watch or the Ranger's Girls Guide to Hockey.
Hey, the Sabres account might not be on the same snark level as the Kings, at least they're not handing over the account to people I've never heard of who make shitty "jokes" about sexual assault.
What else really pisses me the fuck off? Keep reading.
Now they do recognize women athletes, like Danica Patrick the most recognizable NASCAR driver since... ever? some gross guy with a mustache? Well: "On her 31st birthday, we celebrate Danica Patrick with a collection of her best swimsuit photos:" I and others pointed out that objectifying the most popular female athlete in an otherwise entirely male sport may be ... problematic. So when he asked why I was "incensed" with the Patrick gallery, I answer, and get the following reply from Captain Cop-out. (Note: I change my twitter handle more than I change the sheets on my bed maybe.)
Thing is he did post a fucking awesome as hell picture of Sheryl Swoopes, and it got 45 RT's and 24 fav's. Danica Patrick: 20 RT's and 24 Fav's. Not exactly a referendum, but debunks his assertion that "swim pics" are above and beyond the most popular part of the account he curates.
I still follow him, because I love me some throwback Chris Mullin photos. But this is all still so insulting, to all of us: women, the objects; and men the lust monsters who don't realize that they're on the internet and can look at any kind of porn ever.
Yes, it's not hard to know more about hockey than a Rangers fan, but this shit happens all.the.time, and not just with old blue collar Queens hicks. I've been on dates where I get "I'm glad you're actually a sports fan and not just a 'girl sports fan'" like that's some sort of compliment. Yeah I know a lot of bullshit that I mostly gleaned from Twitter and Deadspin, but you don't have to put down the rest of my gender because they don't give a shit about Shawne Merriman jokes or a 4-3 defense, that just means they're smarter than the rest of us.