If there was any week for me to skip a college football post, last week was the right one. There may have been a couple of games worth watching and Boise St-Fresno St was as fun a game as we've seen this year but otherwise it was as barren a slate of games as we've seen thus far. In other words it was the right weekend to fall into a drunken netflix wormhole until six am on the morning you were planning on posting, or to attend a Saturday wedding instead of being stuck watching games out of sheer boredom. Luckily, not only is this week not a repeat of that, it could arguably be the best slate of games this season. While you're all enjoying the action, I'll be tailgating at the UB game with a few friends, my stepdad and a few of his fellow buddies from their college days. I haven't been to a UB game in approximately fifteen years but after watching their instant classic against Stony Brook, I intend to tailgate this in a similar manner to Bills games- get hammered in order to make the sport taking place on the field (football in name only) more palatable. My agreement to go to this game simply shows that us at the Deeg will indeed tailgate anything, and if you're for some reason attending this grudge match against UConn, let's have beers.
Also, after forcing oneself to sit through last week's Bills game, I cannot urge tuning into college football on Saturdays enough. It really is remarkable to see what the sport is supposed to look like sometimes.
Now onto the games.
Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech, 7:30pm, ESPN: Unranked teams sure, but it's Thursday football. The last few weeks I've been slightly surprised by how many people elect to tune into the NFL Thursday game instead of whatever college game or two are being offered. First, the Thursday game has been putrid this season just as it was putrid last season, borderline unwatchable and existing solely to give the NFL's television station some live programming outside of the draft and to give the league an out for their whole "every team gets a night game" policy. Not much has changed regarding the Sunday and Monday slots, as the league offers the same ten or twelve teams in a rotation with the occasional Raiders appearance as seen on Monday. As for our own squad on Thursday night next week, the Bills and Browns have a long tradition of combining for unwatchable games, so I just can't wait to see what they can put together with two less days of preparation.
As for the college games, the Thursday offerings have consistently been more entertaining than their NFL counterpart. This week we have two teams with only one loss between them facing off and even Iowa State-Tulsa at least offers fun uniforms (I love the cyclones unis). I understand that tomorrow's NFL game features San Francisco, but can't you just see that game entering the fourth quarter with the score 12-7? Give the amatuers a chance somewhere other than your porn selection.
(11) Oklahoma State at West Virginia, Noon, ESPN: Remember when West Virginia was good? Like, really good? Like, ranked in the top five, best offense in the nation, revolutionizing the game, all that? Or was that just a dream? I thought it was a dream myself until I watched Geno Smith fire forty yard ropes last Sunday to mediocre receivers just like he did for the Mountaineers. It just makes me so relieved that my favorite football team drafted the guy who seemed like less of a dick (takes deep inhalation from bag of paint thinner). Okay, better leave the Bills talk to Scizz and Barrister before I get irrationally angry. Anyways, this is the best Noon game and gives us a chance to see how Oklahoma State looks, sitting at 3-0 and favored by eighteen points at the moment. They've consistently been a top-ten or fifteen team the last several years but they always seem to drop one game at home to someone they shouldn't which ends up subjecting all of us to another championship game chock full of SEC. I'm generally indifferent to the Cowboys but I'll take any team that can climb up the polls and stop subjecting us to the same teams every year.
(6) LSU at (9) Georgia, 3:30pm CBS: This is a good example of why rankings the first month of the season are generally arbitrary bullshit. The polls are all to eager to tell us that the Tigers are better than Washington, or Oklahoma or indeed Georgia, when their opening schedule has consisted of TCU, Alabama-Birmingham, Kent State and Auburn. Meanwhile Georgia had no luxury of easing into their schedule, taking on Clemson and South Carolina in the first two weeks. That's the benefit of these games though, is LSU good? We'll find out here. Personally I'm rooting for a decisive Georgia victory to turn the SEC into more and more of a clusterfuck.
(21) Ole Miss at (1) Alabama, 6:30pm, ESPN: Well Johnny Football couldn't get it done in College Station so who can we hope is the team that finally slays the school that is literally JUST NOW getting around to integrating sororities? Stupid rednecks have already overrun my television, I hate the idea that this current domination of college football will continue. Unfortunately this means rooting for Ole Miss, a school with a worse history regarding minorities, if such a thing were possible. Despite being ranked, Ole Miss finds themselves fifteen point underdogs and after seeing what the Tide did against Texas A&M I'm inclined to believe they'll beat the spread. In "Road to Glory" mode on NCAA '13, you control one player from high school through a full college career (I've taken Wyoming and Washington State to titles). If your player is on the offensive side, you have to hope for the best from your defense and occasionally you lose simply because your opponent scores EVERY SINGLE POSSESSION. Alabama against A&M was that team and I imagine they'll frustrate the shit out of Ole Miss the same way, which means Arkansas and LSU are really their only realistic chances of taking a loss before the SEC Championship.
Arizona at (16) Washington, 7pm, Fox: Okay, you're right, the Texas A&M-Arkansas game taking place at the same time on ESPN2 will likely be the better game. No offense will be taken if you tune into that game at the expense of this one. But come on, it's the SEC, now that they're in conference play, every single week will consist of entertaining matchups such as that (it is worth noting that A&M is only favored by three against the unranked Razorbacks), plus even this Manziel fan needs to tune into something else once in awhile. Here, it's an opportunity to catch some Pac-12 action that we don't catch as often as we should here in the East. Washington is an interesting team finding themselves in the middle of the top-25 as conference play begins. Are they good enough to join Stanford and Oregon as the class of the conference, and is Arizona being underrated? I think yes on both, meaning Washington will win this game Saturday, but Arizona will show that like their rival in Tempe, the WIldcats aren't a team to be overlooked and could find themselves ranked come the end of the season. (For what it's worth I'd also watch Wyoming-Texas State at this time, but it's on the Longhorn Network and again, fuck them.)
(23) Wisconsin at (4) Ohio State, 8pm ABC: I have to imagine the Buckeyes and their fans, like Penn State and their fans, have not forgotten that Wisconsin made their way to the Rose Bowl after finishing third in their B1G division. I've always loved to hate Ohio State but from what I've seen so far, despite it being against obviously inferior opponents, I have sincere doubts that Wisconsin can keep this game close and that perhaps they simply need to have a realistic idea of what a respectable performance is. It is at least the Buckeyes first game against a competitive team which may allow us to make some wildly fun assumptions going into next week. If the game is close, suddenly "OHIO STATE IS OVERRATED THE BIG TEN SUCKS," whereas if they blow them out it's "FUCK OHIO STATE IS GOING TO GO TO THE BCS AND GET BLOWN OUT AGAIN SAVE US THE BIG TEN SUCKS."
Being a fan of a Big Ten school is fun.
Also I'm getting a third jersey because fuck you.
Arbitrary Bills prediction: Ravens 31 Bills 13