I hate draft speculation. I abhor it. I think it’s the worst form of punditry in sports media. To me, it represents the continuation of the idea that there is no "offseason" in the NFL, only breaks between games. With that being said, I secretly read all the mock drafts starting with Dr. Z (unfortunately, not this year) over at SI in February, and by early April I’m salivating over all the players the Bills WON'T draft.
This year the award for Player-I-want-the-most-and-the-Bills-have-enough-ammo-to-pull-the-trigger-on-trading-up-for-but-won’t-do-it-because-Tom-Modrak-has-the-football-sense-of-a-female-bartender-at-a-piano-lounge-with-no-TVs goes to: Wake Forest LB Aaron Curry. All you need to know about Aaron Curry can be found here. He is a monster. With two first round picks and a high second rounder, the Bills moving up to get him makes the most sense. Curry would be better than anything the tits in the so-called "War Room" at One Bills Drive could come up with. He would have an immediate impact on the defense, providing equal parts coverage and pass rushing ability.
However, we all know the Bills won't make a SMART splash move. Instead, they'll probably trade down and draft a bunch of 2nd and 3rd round GUARD/TE Combos from the Horizon Valley Southeast Conference who have "upside" and "raw talent". The Bills have fed me so much "upside" and "raw talent" over the years, my bowels have become a 4th year "project", à la Chris Kelsay. With that questionable metaphor running through your brain, let's start the draft pick dance party, starting with the person the Bills are "highest" on. (WTF does "high on" mean anyway? I'm "high on" massage parlor handjobs from dead-eyed Korean girls).
1) ROBERT AYERS/DE/TENNESSEE
The only time I heard about Ayers was AFTER the end of the SEC Season. He played for a team that went 5-7 and a defense that gave up 167 yards rushing in a loss to WYOMING. I don't care if he's Bruce Smith. I simply do not trust the Bills' track record with players coming out of Fat Phil Fullmer's Jailhouse Rocky Top. Travis Henry? Peerless Price? Anybody?
2) EVERETT BROWN/DE/FLORIDA STATE
All I keep hearing about this guy is "despite his size, he's not too bad against the run". If the Bills use the 11th overall pick to draft "not too bad against the run", I'll wear a Kelsay Jersey to Christmas Dinner. And then take a dump on the table. (Come on, we haven't had a poop joke in at least two paragraphs.)
3) BRIAN ORAKPO/DE/TEXAS
This guy is a beast. An absolute monster. Do you see the CHAINS he's wearing in the SC profile!?!?!? Robert Flores peeed a little in his pants when he was introducing him. Look at the crotch... yeah, you saw it. Orakpo crushed Big 12 Linemen all year. He had a field day against Sam "I'm Not Cross-Eyed" Bradford. Two forced fumbles and a few sacks... wicked. Aside from him not falling to us, the only drawback I see in drafting Orakpo is the fact that he attended the University of Texas. Typically, the Bills have had "issues" in the past with draft picks from UT.
4) AARON MAYBIN/DE/PENN STATE
NO. He's young, only had one successful year, and buckled against USC (a good litmus test as to how a pick is going to perform in the pros). Also, they can't figure out whether or not he can play in a 3-4 or a 4-3, if he's big enough to play DE, or if he should play as a rushing OLB. The Bills simply cannot afford to draft another project. Chris Ellis is about all we need in the project department. Also, Penn State defensive players simply aren't what they used to be. Ohio State took over the defensive prowess in the Big Ten years ago and everyone else has been sucking from the hind tit since.
5) BRANDON PETTIGREW/TE/OKLAHOMA STATE
Yes, the O-Line needs pass protection help. Yes, the receiving corps this year will leed to secondary options being open at an alarming rate. Yes, Trent Edwards needs a safety net when Kirk Chambers and Langston Walker are being bowled over by Patriots, Jets, Dolphins, and even Saints. However, do we really need to draft a TIGHT END at 11? If we do this, it shows John Guy and Tom Modrak simply aren't prepared to handle the responsibilities given to them by Ebenezer Wilson. If our best option at 11 is Brandon Pettigrew, we should trade down and increase the amount of picks in the lower tiers.
ADDENDUM: MICHAEL OHER/T/MISSISSIPPI
We shouldn't have to draft another tackle because we're locked up with perennial pro-bowler, Jason Peters... wait.