The title says everything you need to know. Rest well, little bird. Maybe Apologist can swing you whatever he uses for his unholy resurrections ... motherfucker has died a couple dozen times at this point. Coming back from the dead is to Sammy as having an apartment smelling roughly of marinara and lube is to Joe Buffalo Wins.
I'm not going to bother previewing this shit - you're not gonna read it, I have awful soccer to be watching, a 3 year old's birthday to go to in about an hour, and it's not my fucking job, man. Scizz is dead and I'm in mourning and all I can really muster is a promise to continue eating cheese curds and salami sticks for the next sixty hours.
That said, we still have hordes of fantasy football-playing jamokes out there that need some advice, and I'd feel bad not passing this along. Also, Dane co-hosted Loudmouths on SNY last Friday, which is amazing, so everyone should find that shit online and watch.
Fantasy Football Diamond in the rough and Fugazi of the week:
In a new feature for the previews, Scizz's buddy Dane aka Speedz Keyno (check his great podcast here, and twitter here) will feature some fantasy football takes, well, let's have him explain:
Diamonds in the Rough are guys who have warts and may not be expected to produce all season, but who have a favorable matchup or gameflow this week... Sometimes ya got to dig for it!
Fugazis? What's a fugazi? It looks nice and shiny - like something you want to spend some money on... But it's a fake, a fraud. You buy that, you're a real dunceski.
Hey Scizz – So Terrance Williams proved to be a SUPER Fugazi but hopefully the DGWU readers are checking our twitter page for the DFS lineups and getting paid! There’s more heat coming in our week 4 podcast – now’s the time when you can really make some moves to help win your league! I think Bills fans will be happy with at least one of my calls this week…On to week 4.
Diamond 1 – Karlos Williams. Let’s Go Buffalo! Karlos is the only RB in the entire league with a TD each of the first 3 weeks and it’s gonna continue against a Giants team that can’t even stop Arts and Crafty Tono Romo (those “Crownies” look good though). He looked great getting 12 carries for 110 against Miami, and I heard somewhere that Rex has a running big playbook. With Watkins banged up and early reports saying Shady may rest against the Giants this week, this is the place to go to win that DFS money! The G-Men are giving up 411 yards/game (good for 31st in the league), and ironically enough are gonna be focused on limiting Tyrod. Book it!
15+ Touches, 130+ Total Yards, TD
Diamond 2 – Melvin Gordon – The Chargers just haven’t shown up in their last 2 road games, but it’ll be a different story back at home against the Browns this Sunday. Gordon has looked good on a few long runs, had another called back on a penalty and is ready to break out. Danny Woodhead’s touches have gone down each week since the opener, and in a game where I expect San Diego to be ahead in the 2nd half Gordon will take advantage of a Cleveland run defense that is dead last in the league giving up 159 yards/game and 5.01 yards/carry. The badger fans will be proud and jumping around like it’s the 4th quarter at Camp Randall.
21 Carries, 142 Yards, TD
Fugazi 1 – Michael Vick – This is not the Michael Vick you fell in love with playing Madden back in the day. This is not the Michael Vick who once went into Lambeau and beat the Pack in sub-40 degree temperatures. This isn’t even the Vick that had a great stretch with Philly a few years back. This is a Michael Vick who didn’t have a job in late August, admitted that he didn’t prepare as a backup with the Jets, and had a QB Rating of 68.3 with more turnovers than touchdowns in 10 games last year. Now he dives into one of the NFL’s fiercest rivalries against a desperate Ravens team on a short week?!? The Ravens defense will attack like a fighting dog, Antonio Brown’s streak is officially in Jeopardy, and they’ll all be LeVeon a Prayer this week.
<250 Passing Yards, <30 Rushing Yards, 1TD, 3 Turnovers
Fugazi 2 – Megatron – This one is pretty simple. The Lions O-Line can barely keep Stafford upright. That means he’s getting the ball out quicker to guys like Golden Tate, Ameer Abdullah, and even Eric Ebron. Calvin has only been targeted deeper than 15 yards THREE TIMES ALL SEASON! The days of Stafford just chucking it up and letting Megatron make a play seem to be over under Joe Lombardi, and add to that he’ll be the focus of Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, and the LOB in Seattle on a Monday night…This won’t end well and Jon Gruden will tell you about it!
<7 Catches, <80 Yards
Bills 37, Giants 14.