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Silky Johnson, 2002's Hater of the Year.
The Yachtsman

Warning to all you loveable, soft-hearted Buffalonians who read this blog: this post is covered in Haterade of the Brooklyn kind. Buyer beware.

Alright Buffalo. I've stayed away from one of these posts at the behest of my colleagues because they insist that I'm a professional hater. I tried to not write this. It's been a month or so since he took over the franchise, and I've only muttered these types of thoughts at the end of several pints. I've tried so hard to not be the Debbie Downer, but DAMN IT Y'ALL MADE ME DO IT I CAN'T STOP IT ANYMORE. THE HATE FLOWS FROM MY VEINS LIKE ANAKIN AFTER HE SMOKED THAT VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE!
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MANY BOTHANS DIED FOR THIS POST!
This. Shit. Has Got To Stop. I bit my tongue when he cried at the press conference because everyone was digging it. I stayed away from the weirdos obsessing over the daughters and their respective twittage because....well because I stay away from subtle pedophilia like it's AIDS. I stayed away from basically all of Pegula-mania because I just want owners to own, players to play, and teams to fucking win cups. But this birthday shit......this hater CANNOT abide. In the words of my TV doppelganger:
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This is a $6,400 suit! COME ON!
I understand everyone is pumped about an underachieving shyte of a team underwhelming themselves to an 8th seed when teams above them with half the talent are cruising to playoff berths or division championships (COUGH - THE BRUINS COUGH COUGH - THE RANGERS). I get that. I get that a billionaire decided his sunset years would be spent questing for the Sabres to get a cup. I get that, and fuck I love it too. But seriously. The guy changed the carpeting in the lockerroom, ditched the slug, and put up a suggestion box. We didn't go out and get Brad Richards. We're not smashing our way to a 1 seed. All we did was start operating like the other 90% of the league. WHEN HE WINS CUPS, I WILL SING. UNTIL THEN LET US NOT ACT LIKE JESUS RAINED MONEY ON DOWN FROM HIGH WITH WHICH WE ARE TO BATHE OUR GRUNDELS.


God love you Buffalo, act like you've been here before.


See? Haterade. Don't say I didn't warn you.
 


Comments

Dubs
04/03/2011 23:55

Just a thought, and maybe it's a little sematical, but... WE HAVEN'T FUCKING BEEN "THERE" BEFORE. That phrase only works when the cool thing people are going bananas over is a usual thing. A thing that you look at and say "meh, seen that." But, in Buffalo, with years of Golisano, a lot of fans haven't fucking been excited about the team from top to bottom, haven't felt like the organization has given a shit about winning, and has - while some of us have been living far away without the temptation of tickets every week - been spending plenty of dollars on a team they love so much, but that doesn't love them back.

Sure, maybe it's pathetic, but it's nothing if not understandable for a fan base that has been shit on so consistently for the past several years. With an owner like Pegula - and fuck that, he's not the same as 90% of the often bush-league NHL, that's BS - after Golisano, after years of FUCKING RALPH WILSON, I mean, fuck, we have never been fucking close to "there" before.

So, yes, maybe you're just hating because that's your style (and maybe why we're friends), but the people of Buffalo - who don't get the benefit of distancing themselves from the team whenever they feel outraged or emotionally drained - those people can do whatever the fuck they want as far as I'm concerned. And then when we make the playoffs, they can overcelebrate then, too, if only because they're hopeful that their team - starting from the top - might finally love them back.

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