Dear God Why Us Sports
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Well The Sky Is Falling And It Just Douched On Matt Ellis' Head

4/20/2010

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The Yachtsman

Yes, they lost last night.  You could point the finger at a number of causes.  The “core” forwards are playing like they’d rather be out on Chippewa than in an NHL Playoff game.  The young guns are looking more and more overmatched.  Tony Lydman doesn’t understand the concept of NHL Hockey.  Deep down, as fans, we all knew these issues would rear their ugly head at some point this postseason.  Of course, it would be nicer if they'd lie dormant until the second or third round (or never). These and several other points may eventually add up to a sum equaling a loss, but that’s not the issue we have over here at DGWU sports.  The issue I have is how the FUCK is this guy still walking around with a smile on his face?!?
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Bruins ROOKIE Defenseman Jonny Fucking Boychuk.  This guy has laid the hammer down all series on several skilled and not so skilled Sabre forwards.  That’s fine.  It’s his job.  The problem is, he’s allowed to do a fantastic job.  I can understand the Sabres being a skill/finesse team, as much as they don’t ever live up to that moniker (skill teams score), but you would at least expect a modicum of revenge for the Vanek hit.  But then to come out and lay the lumber down AGAIN, this time on Matt Ellis…..it’s too much.  Yes, it was a tight game.  Yes it was a tight PLAYOFF game.  Yes, the Sabres needed every advantage they could get.  But COME THE FUCK ON, LINDY.  Let somebody loose out there on him!!  It’s not like you don’t have at least one weapon on the bench who can put in that kind of work.
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On the long train ride back from the bar, The Apologist (as he tends to do) made excuses for not unleashing some sort of beast on the Bruins.  They included no unnecessary power plays, the need for 5 on 5 hockey, can’t take key players out of the game.  I understand, but here’s my counterpoint:  THESE GUYS NEED TO WAKE THE FUCK UP.  A well timed douching of Marco Sturm or Patrice Bergeron would have been nice from Kaleta.  Yes, they had that boomtown hit on a Bruin who I couldn’t see by a Sabre I couldn’t see (it was on Versus in a bar, so you can imagine how easy it is to see who did what…..I think Jaffe was talking about his love of haircuts at that point), and that’s an awesome start!  Three or four more like that and maybe we start focusing a little bit better.  Instead, we got the NHL version of a Screech vs. Unnamed Bayside Nerd fight.
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I understand we’re never going to be the Flyers….but Jesus, can we at least be the Sabres??  Drew Stafford, Paul Gaustad, even (gasp!) Tyler Myers……USE YOUR SIZE.  We won game 1 because the Sabres decided to hit….and hit hard.  You can’t just do that for one game and sit on your laurels.  It’s a long post-season, and the teams that play golf in April and May are the ones who fall back to January hockey the quickest.  They played out of character for exactly one game.  They need to do that again if they have any shot of coming out of Boston with some hope.  Playing out of character….I’m pretty sure that’s what this was:
Prediction:  if they don’t come out swinging next game, Bruins in Five.  Ugly.  Celebrating on Home Ice. And we all remember how that feels. 
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Uh Oh. Interweb Futurism.

4/19/2010

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New development:  you can now follow me, the Yachtsman, on twitter.  I don’t think the Apologist wants his account info divulged, so I’ll let him do that on his own.  I mostly tweet about bodily functions, but the occasional sports topic and some liberal rage are tossed in as well.  Hell, to follow me is to mock me, right?
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Drew Stafford Returns, Hopefully with New Hand Implants to Match Cleared Brain.

4/19/2010

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The Yachtsman

WGR and other various media outlets are reporting Drew Stafford will return to the Buffalo lineup vs. the Bruins tonight.    He’s a classic Sabre……want to love him, can’t understand why he forgets how to play hockey half the season.   Here’s hoping he can regain his NCAA form and start using that big frame to fire pucks into the net for the boys. 6’2 200 lbs.  COME ON DREW, PUT A BODY INTO HIM (every Sabres game at Kinsale Tavern hears about four or five of those).
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Thomas Vanek Will Never Walk Again and Other Horrible Thoughts

4/19/2010

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The Yachtsman

So Thomas Vanek was savagely slashed on Saturday afternoon, and seemingly the motivations and efforts of the Sabres went the way of his mysterious injury.  Or so it seems.  I believe that the Sabres looked fairly off throughout the first two games, regardless of Vanek’s bout with polio, or whatever Lindy isn’t telling us it is (I should clarify, I love that Lindy doesn’t disclose injuries…..how am I more important than Milan Lucic’s headhunting prowess—should I know what’s wrong from the nosebleeds so the crazy Czech can blindside some player’s injured regions??) 
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The “individualism” of forwards like Connolly, Roy, and Pominville are starting to creep into the play of guys like Kennedy, Ennis, and others.  Just at the right time (playoff time) that mind bending little goblin that afflicts the Sabres every once in a while has reared its ugly head:  the obsession with the fancy play over just putting pucks on net.  If they don’t come off it quick, the playoff wishes and dreams of the 716 will soon come to a fiery ashen end.
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That’s the one thing that drives me completely and utterly bonkers about this squad:  the top 6 rarely want to chop wood and carry water.   They’re seemingly obsessed with the no-look pass, the spin-o-rama, the Gretzky play.  They forget that Gretzky had Messier smoking someone along the half boards to open up the ice, or Kurri getting blasted in the corner to kick the puck out to the hash marks.
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Ruff always talks about playing out of character, and guys like Matt Ellis and Pat Kaleta are putting on Oscar worthy performances.  The one thing that keeps me from totally throwing in the towel on the series and the season, unlike years past, is the checking lines have become the backbone of this team.   Kaleta seems to have taken a larger leadership role than usual (and jawing more than usual—if that’s possible).  It also seems like Ruff trusts Grier like a son out there, increasing his minutes to 18 and having him out there in more key situations (hell he almost had a breakaway).
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Tonight they face their biggest game of the season (thank God I’m saying that in April rather than February).  If they stick to the system, and minimize mistakes, Miller is a great roadie goalie, and he’ll get them where they need to be to get a split.  He feeds off negative energy even better than when the Hot Sauce Blue Cheese fans are chanting his name (see His Goaliest vs. The World @ the Olympics).  This is the night.  Let’s fucking do this, boys.
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Good Lord, It Has Been A Long Time

4/19/2010

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The Yachtsman

Wow!  It’s been a long ass time.  We haven’t been very diligent over here at DGWU with keeping up with the blog.  So I’ll give you a quick personal update :
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The Yachtsman:  I’m still underemployed, but on May 27th I begin the process of applying to Law School.  I can’t figure out if I want to sell out and try and get into Sports Management or stay true to my roots and toil around in Environmental Law.  Of course, I have to actually get into Law School first.  This post marks me picking myself up out of the dregs of laid-off emasculation to once again direct my negative energy towards the powers that be in the hierarchy of Buffalo Sports.  Also, I moved in with the girlfriend and we got a dog and I could never explain to you how awesome it actually is living together until you do it even if we live in an expensive NYC apartment on a Buffalo budget.  Yes, I needed a Run-on to convey that.
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The Scizz:  He’s completely out of his mind.  After being promoted to a more responsible (and maybe dangerous) position in special higher education, he decided to be a crazy person and go back to school to get a master’s degree.  In the long run it will eventually make him a much more desirable candidate for high administrative positions in the future, and increases his income earning potential at a job he loves, which will only lead to future familial and personal happiness , but fack who wants to incur student debt in this economy?  (pot, kettle, meeting in the back room).
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The Apologist:   Unfortunately, after half a decade living together, and avoiding adulthood, we no longer live under the same roof, the Apologist and I.  Still ruminating about his future, the Apologist is still the guy with the most job security out of everyone I know and will end up coming out of the other side of thirty with the most saved away out of all of my friends, including the iBanker douchetards who read this site (kisses!  You guys are great!).  He probably will be able to open up his own fine establishment of drinking spirits where I will wither away the rent money—hint hint do it do it.  Also, he’s still a hit with the ladies.
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So now that you fine reader(s?) have an update, you can infer as to why we haven’t updated the blog since October, and before that God knows.  Today we’ll start slowly and offer up an analysis of the Sabres/Bruins Series, and hopefully later on we’ll get some Bills news up too.  Thanks for coming back, and I hope we can update the site more often.   Larry Quinn still sleeps with Carl Paladino.
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