Blog Archives

The DGWUS CrapTastiCast - Episode 24: Blaming, Understanding, & Forgiveness

2/27/2012

Yachtsman. Apologist. Round One. FIGHT!

The Deeg

This week's episode was recorded from the Scizz's apartment in Hoboken, and is a mishmash of sports talk that, honestly, is way below our normal quota of offensive jokes. But you know what? Even the Deeg can get serious once in awhile.

Now don't get it twisted, there are still PLENTY of the inappropriate, spit-take inducing moments you have come to know and love, but they are put on the back-burner to some actual *shutters* sports-related discussions. What you get are three very different segments from all members of the Deeg.

Segment one includes a lightning round of talk, including Jason Pominville's captaincy, re-signing Stevie Johnson, and a hilarious moment when the Yachstman gets the Barrister's hopes up, only to rip the soul from his body.

Segment two is almost all NBA talk, which we realize is usually saved for the Apostles of Bob, but after watching the Heat take apart our beloved Knicks, Yachter and Aps have a heated discussion about Lebron's talent and Legacy.

Segment three brings you Sabres talk about the state of the franchise, being a small market/deep pocket team, and trade deadline chatter that will only make us look stupid after Darcy's surprising moves today. Finally, what do John Williams, Mos Def, and Amy Grant have in common with this podcast? You guessed it, the weirdest musical interludes yet. Get the podcast through this Libsyn link, or through iTunes or streaming option below. This episode has been Cody Hodgson approved! (Barrister's Legal Disclaimer: It has not.)

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Aps and Barrister Present The Legal Limit (a Working Title)

2/26/2012

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This will make sense after you hear this instant classic

The Barrister

If you've read this site for any significant period of time, you are hopefully somewhat aware that the Apologist and I enjoy linking up for Sabres games (and often without our two other Brothers in Deeg), and we stupidly tend to think highly enough of ourselves to conclude that it is a good idea to do an on-the-spot streetcast, often times while Aps enjoys an intermission cigarette and more often while we're both stumbling over prepositional phrases with a delicate touch that only drunken fools can.

Well, belated as this post may be (yet another sad symptom of the busy-ness of our non-Deeg lives), last Tuesday was no exception as we watched the Sabres prevailed over the Islanders. As per usual, we watched the game at Kelly's Sports Bar on Avenue A in Manhattan, and as usual we shifted prominently between making solid, well-reasoned arguments, and drunkenly mumbling about some supposed point of interest. However, unlike other StreetCasts, we were joined by some "friends on the street" - aka our friend Matt, who happened to walk by during our first segment, and later on a drunken, cracked out homeless guy who interrupts us at about the 18:50 mark, inspiring a musical interlude of "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane. Seriously, people, even if you think that Aps and I are big idiots (and kudos to you for coming to that ever-so-obvious conclusion!), you need to listen to the five or so minutes that this guy talks to us about topics that are simply to amazing and incoherent to describe.

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Back to Wembley for Liverpool and Why You Should Care

2/24/2012

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Goosebumps, children.

The Barrister

It goes without saying that there has been precious little happy thoughts to muse upon here at the Deeg of late. Sure, Scizz and Yachter have firmly pronounced their excitement about NASCAR and Linsanity, and Apologist is - if he cared to share here - fascinated with the NBA season's progression beyond just the could-be-flash-in-the-pan Jesus loving Asian-American from Palo Alto, but these are not matters of sport life-and-death (to the extent there is such a thing... which there is...). Even Yachter, the Deeg's Crown Prince of Hyperbole and Contrarianism, would admit - as he has already - that watching the Knicks these days is fun, not fanaticism; the joy increased, in aggregate, by the absence of any true possibility of pain.

Of course, it goes without saying that the true, shared foci of our fandom are little more than utter disappointment of late, leaving an understandably jaded tone to much of what we might say here about our Bills or Sabres.

Which is why, at the tail end of a tiring week of work with moments of excessive drinking mixed in, I'm overjoyed to talk a little bit about the Liverpool Football Club and their upcoming shot at taking home the League Cup.

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The DGWU CrapTastiCast - Episode 23: The Family Circle

2/21/2012

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Comedy

The Deeg

AND WE'RE BACK!!! The CrapTastiCast returns for episode 23, full of debauchery and inane ramblings as always. The Apologist was absent this week, but the Yachtsman, Scizz, and Barrister pick up the slack with a must-listen episode. And yes, we realize it's "Family Circus", not "Family Circle", but we were already shit-canned by the time this thing got started.

This week's discussions include, but are not limited to: Metta World Peace, the Sabres shellacking from the Flyers, the rising probability they miss the playoffs and not giving a shit about it, Ted's vs. Louie's, a drinking game called "Buffalo", tourists, brewing a DGWU beer (seriously happening), a game of "what's better than watching the Mets or waking up to Bucky Gleason?", a hilarious and AMAZING breakdown of Yachter's airport attire, and finally, a super awkward story from the Scizz that involves the L train and a Joe Cribbs jersey.

Musical interludes are indie rock themed this week and brought to you by Grizzly Bear, Dawes, and MGMT. You know what to do. Go here for Libsyn, or enjoy the options below. Tell your friends!

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He Goes, I Go.

2/20/2012

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Swag.

El Yachtero

"If the #bills let stevie walk and get no one better than manningham I will, in fact, turn in my fan card and root for someone else"

- @matthew1stewart, of BuffaloWins and some fucking blog I wasn't invited to, on twitter discussing the impending Stevie Johnson "issue" at One Bills Drive.

"A league source told The Buffalo News that Johnson isn’t expecting to receive the franchise tag from the Bills, and despite swapping contract proposals recently the two sides are far apart on negotiations. The franchise tag option hasn’t been discussed during negotiations with Johnson, the source told The News."

- Rodney McKissic on TBN's "BillBoard" blog.

So the latest we have on Stevie Johnson is that there is no latest. But realistically, the fact that there is no latest and we have to wait until the combine to get the latest and by that time the latest will probably not be the greatest, but the worst, I'll just start the assumptions here: Stevie isn't going to be a Buffalo Bill next year. The fans back home don't enjoy the swag, the coach doesn't enjoy the penalties, and the bank doesn't enjoy the expenditure.

Ugh.

Weakest.

Ever.

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The Apostles of Bob: Episode 3 - Enter Jeremy Lin Pun Here

2/20/2012

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The Yachtsman & The Scizz (featuring the Barrister)

With Jeremy Lin dominating the court and the national media, of course the Apostles of Bob had to get together and record a new episode. This past week, the Yachtsman and Scizz got together at the Brooklyn headquarters to get drunk on 18.2% alcohol content beer and discuss b-ball and all things Jeremy Lin. Naturally, everybody and their mother have chimed in on the Linsanity phenomenon, but nobody does it quite like the Deeg.

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A Redneck Jamboree: Part 2

2/17/2012

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Family values

The Scizz

Yesterday after posting my ode to NASCAR which included a very detailed preview of all the three and four car teams in the series, the Yachtsman blog-bombs me by tossing up a post immediately after. DAMMIT, THE SEVENTEEN PEOPLE WHO LIKE NASCAR AND READ THIS SITE DESERVE MORE RESPECT!!! /shot guns beer. //punches family member.

It's totally cool though. I get it. NASCAR is the uneducated, racist hick of the sports world, and I will never expect anybody to understand why I love it. But I have a blog, and I'm going to write about it all I want! (Said in very whiny voice). So strap in, strap on (wha?), and get ready for some racin'! Here is part two of a Redneck Jamboree, taking a look at all of the two car race teams, and those poor souls who only run one car. "READ MORE" to be knowledgified, college boy!

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Fuck Nascar, let's talk about the real issue at hand: Jeremy Lin, I am teenaged girl for you.

2/16/2012

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The Yachtsman

I know, right? It's me, your favorite irascible naysayer who writes sporadically for the website he founded in the early 1980s with three (now) dead men and The Scizz. Well, I'll tell you...as I've written, screamed, grumbled, and/or sobbed quietly to you Deegers so many times before...it takes a lot these days to get this scribe to loquate (not a word). The Sabres are doing everything in their power to make me not watch/like them, i.e. actually trying, not blowing up the roster, allowing Darcy Regier to have a say in personnel management, reaping the financial benefits of Pennsylvania-earth destroying hydro-fracking, existing, etc. The Bills, of course, aren't much better /softly whispers "power of attorney" into the wind. So what's this all about, why all the hoo-ha, you ask?

Is it the racist Liverpudlian football squad I'm a bit embarrassed to support these days? Have they mastered the game of Soccernomics and turned Anfield into Fenway U.K.? CAN WE GET 3,000 BREATHLESS WORDS OF FANDOM OUT OF ME FOR THAT!?!?

Nay, little girls. You'll not get a treatise on what it's like to be a fan of this that or the other here. I leave that to the professionals.....okay The Barrister....it's his realm of expertise.

** sidenote: one of my favorite things in life is to watch The B (on Twitter and here) get so breathlessly worked up about a squad, make excuses on why it's okay to root for a shit sandwich, then come crashing down to earth and get frustrated over his squad shyte-ing all over his dreams yet again. This man is a lawyer, with expertly honed logic skills. To watch him fall apart like a house of cards is pure magic. This is the only part of his life that is not totally awesome and together - fuck me, sports is a bitch. PS I love you man. You know this.**

What's led me to write on this shitty little corner of the internet is the following quote from one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE HYPERBOLE HYPERBOLE BASKETBALL PLAYERS (for reals though I love him) Yao Ming:
"His attitude is so peaceful, but there is strength to him. It is not a violent strength like fire or something aggressive. It is like the ocean, very peaceful, very quiet when you look at it. But you can never underestimate the power that is in there."

- Yao Ming on Jeremy Lin

Of course we all know who Jeremy Lin is by now. He's the guy, you know, not white/black, not from D1/Lottery Pick, EXPANDING ALL OF YOUR BASKETBALL HORIZONS WITH HIS MAGICAL POINT GUARDIAN ABILITIES LIKE THE LUKE SKYWALKER OF JAMES DOLAN'S EVIL EMPIRE. Oh my god....this is turning into a breathless fan post. FUCK. I knew this website was a fucking trap.

"What's that, Lou? It's a what? Oh SHIT! It's a-"

ANYSHIT. For reals, Jeremy Lin has taken the nation by storm, and rightly so. This story just doesn't happen. Everything nowadays is down to such a pure, adroit, infinitesimal science that anomalies simply don't occur at this high of a level. Yeah, you can throw Tim Tebow at me....but how anomalous is he, really? Rivals Elite 11 QB, Heisman Trophy Winner, SEC/Nat'l. Champion, 2nd Round Pick, Anti-Semite (I don't know that) - compared to Lin he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Josh Hamilton? Okay, but before he started giving rim-jobs in the bathroom for travel size Scope bottles, he was an elite Prospect and had a cup of coffee (w/ Jameson obvs) with the Rays before he went to hell and back (skirting with alcoholism myself I feel the need to joke to cope, so lay off Nancy Grace). Jeremy Lin went to HAHVAHD FACKIN YAHD. That doesn't exactly scream Rookie Symposium Invite to me. He was picked up by Golden State to appeal to their Asian fan base, but when they realized they had Steph Curry, Nate Robinson, and Monta Ellis (in a pinch) ahead of him, he was cut like rose stems (time-sensitive metaphor). Then he went to the Rockets 5 years too late, right guys? /Yao joke. After being dispersed by the Rockets ON CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE (see what Karma looks like, Daryl Morey? SABREMETRIC BASKETBALL MY TAINT), the severely hemorrhaged brain trust at 1 Penn Plaza picked him and the rest is now history.

My friend wrote this headline, BTW. Awesome. And no, it's not racist, it's wordplay. He's Asian and Amazing. Deal.

Holy mother of shit I've turned into a breathless Linnite now haven't I? ARE YOU READING BARRISTER! I BLAME YOU. Nevertheless, let's get to some astute basketball analysis, of which I am well qualified what with my 3 years of Elementary basketball followed by 2 years of CYO and not trying out for my high school team because I am a maladroit tit of a basketball player. ANYWHENCE. In a vacuum, Lin:

PLUSSES:

- He's WICKED FAHCKIN CAWNFIDENT. I could cite you several instances against Derek Fisher, John Wall, et. al, but all you need to know about his confidence is pictured above. Chandler kicked out the rebound, he called off the pick, and drained a three in Calderon's face with .05 left. If that's not confidence, The Scizz doesn't have rage issues.

- VLINSIONARY. I'm not good at wordplay. Anyway. His vision is tremendous, as demonstrated by two double doubles in his first 6 career starts (stupid. just fucking stupid). When you run the dribble/drive offense, you....dribble...and...drive...and he's good...at...both? Yes. He is. The Knicks, for the first time since The Rooster left and took Ray Felton with him, have demonstrated SPACING, and it's due to Lin's court vision combined with tremendous movement. Subsequently, D'Antoni's offense has clicked and our beloved Blue N Orange are in the midst of a 6 game linning streak (had to). MOVE THE BALL AND ROTATE. WHAT A FUCKING CONCEPT. It only won D'Antoni a million games in Phoenix.

- TOUGHNESS is a strength that is difficult to quantify and more difficult to identify correctly. Lin oozes (grossest sports word ever) it. He's taken key charges, driven against guys like Bynum & Cousins, and even played with an awful open wound for three games (that band-aid on his chin was gnarls). If you're going to run a dribble/drive 7 Seconds or less offense, having a guy who's willing to sacrifice his elderly walking potential is key. /Lazy Steve Nash comparison.

NON-PLUSSES:

- HOLD ONTO THE G-D BALL JEREMY. His turnovers are somewhat troubling, but when your PG is only 23, doesn't have a history of playing vs. top-level talent, and is running a dribble/drive offense where he is the key cog, it's understandable. As a matter of fact, I'd rather watch Lin run the offense and worry about turnovers then have defensive stalwart & ball-responsible Toney Douglas clanging ill-advised three balls off the rims of various Eastern Conference hoops night after night.

- CONLINSTENCY. Again with the wordplay. This isn't a negative so much as it's a question mark. Being a fan of teams such as the Bills, Sabres, and Knicks, I am used to a general level of abject failure sprinkled with bouts of flash-in-the-pan. The level of quality Lin has demonstrated HAS to come down for no other reason that my Karmic deficiencies preclude me from cheering for legitimate winners and All-Stars without drastic bandwagon inspired allegiance shifts. So there's that uber-depressing/ego-maniacal/soul-crushing aspect.

"Donte Whitner Division Champion?? NOOOOOOOOOO!" /too easy

As much as I keep trying, I haven't figured out an effective way to quantify how fucking great this story has been. The Knicks were on the verge of starting another shit storm winter where Bob Raissman and Filip Bondi furiously masturbate themselves so hard with negativity they make Bucky Gleason and Jerry Sullivan look like Brownie Scouts. All I know is that Lin has brought my girlfriend down to the den to watch Knicks games with me, whereas most times we would be watching Real Huswifes (yeah the colonial spelling...suck it Johnathan Edwards) of Salem Witch Trials or something.

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A Redneck Jamboree: Part 1

2/16/2012

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Are you as excited as this gentleman? I hope so.

The Scizz

Here at DGWU Sports, the Yachtsman hates many things, two of which are NASCAR and two part posts. I'm dropping both on the blogosphere today because what the fuck else is there to write about, the Buffalo Sabres? Fuck that. It's almost racing season and I have only written about the "sport" twice since we started this handicapped blog; once while previewing our Deeg road trip to Watkins Glen (and the subsequent CrapTastiCast #14) and my farewell to Formula One legend, Dan Wheldon.

I have taken the liberty of organizing the preview by NASCAR teams, which for all of you new or non-fans, means cars that all have the same owner....idiot. Today I'll take a look all the four and three car teams, and tomorrow I'll drop a much shorter look at the double and single car teams. You will also notice that as I present each team, I include the car number, final position in points at season's end, sponsor, last season's wins, and a little something called AvFn, or average finish. This stat has become very important in the new era of NASCAR due to the "Chase for the Cup", which serves a 10 race playoff systems in which the top 12 drivers get to qualify and race for the season championship. There many other details, but honestly, if you chose to read this, you probably already know them. LAZINESS! Anyways, AvFn has become a key stat because drivers are now more likely to focus on getting consistent top 10 finishes rather than push their car to the limit every race in order to win. Just think Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights and you'll get the picture.

So with out further ado, I bring you the Redneck Jamboree: My 2012 NASCAR season preview. Read more if you dare....

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A Sabres Season in Pictures.

2/14/2012

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The Barrister

Happy Valentines Day, fellow masochists. For now, though, enough with words. Tonight, it gets said in pictures.

Credit to anyone who can follow. I may or may not be drunk right now.

See what I did there?

And while we're on the topic, so do I. Hope is a tenuous and potentially embarrassing thing to indulge in. Fuck me for giving in last week, and fuck me for getting sucked back in next week when these dumb shits throw together a couple wins straight. I am awful. But the Sabres are awfuler.

In the meantime, my venom is flowing fast tonight.