Blog Archives

The substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.

10/31/2013

The Commander

In scanning Twitter the other day, I had noticed a Tweet from a different blog with the title “Did Lindy Ruff deserve better from the Sabres?”. After choking back the rage and bile, I decided there was no possible way I could read this piece without wanting to drive carpet tacks into the head of my dick repeatedly. Since I’m fairly new here, I don’t think I’ve discussed the absolute disgust I have for Lindy Ruff at any sort of length. If you've followed me on Twitter for awhile, you won't be surprised by what's below - I loathe the man as much as the city insanely loved him. So let’s dig in a little.

First off, I don’t understand the thinking that this guy got a raw deal from the Sabres. Let’s be brutally honest, the guy should have been fired YEARS before last season. He was afforded multiple chances, with about 3 different sets of core players, 3 ownership groups, and 2 different sets of rules to get the job done here. I think that’s a fair shake. 15 years is about 8 times the lifespan of the average NHL coach. (I didn’t actually look this up, it’s a guesstimate) On what fucking planet isn’t this a “fair shake”?? There were plenty of times you could watch a Sabres game and see a listless, boring team going through the motions. Most every player who’s left here has had nothing kind to say about his coaching tactics, not to mention the guys who spoke up when he left here.

In the midst of Vanek's departure, massive Liverpool and Red Bulls wins, and a righteous hangover, this is a tough one to manage. Alas, I must. - A Bills/Saints Recap with some other stuff tossed in.

10/28/2013

The Barrister

If ever there was a mixed fucking bag of a weekend for me and my sport-watching-and-commenting brethren, it was this one. A tremendous Liverpool win, a Sporting KC win forcing the Red Bulls to do the same in order to get their first taste of hardware, a predictable Bills loss at the Superdome, replete with frustrating football and officiating alike, the Red Bulls getting that win and that shield, and Thomas Vanek.

If you're not into the Sabres and came here for Bills-only takes, my not-apologies, fuck you and wait a minute while I opine.

We expected this for Vanek - a guy who all but said he wasn't interested in sticking around this shit bag franchise anymore - though the swiftness with which the trade came late on a Sunday, months before we really expected it, was jarring. You want to be able to steel yourself up for a moment like this; a moment where a player so dear to you and the entire fan base is allowed to go, for now, to a place where things look discernibly brighter and more optimistic; a moment where a player is allowed to walk away, leaving his fans pining for the "could have beens" from a frustrating six years of Sabres hockey. He was a guy you wanted to be wearing the Blue and Gold when this ship eventually (please?) gets righted, but the impossibility of that scenario - Vanek staying and the rebuild occurring with some degree of speed - was unmistakable. He really couldn't stay if all the shit needing fixing is going to get addressed.

A fact that doesn't make it feel any better to see a talent like him depart the club we support.

Vanek has been the sole reason this team was able to fake it for so long, convincing fans and owner alike that the team could figure it out and become a contender; that the deals for Stafford and Myers and Leino and whoever else you want to point to wouldn't be fatal; that perhaps Buffalo could win in spite of those decisions proven to be mistakes by disappointing play and empty nets missed, by out-of-shape camps and defensive gaffes, and by games missed ad infinitum.

Vanek is a talent that seemed to make anything possible, but nevertheless never did. No titles. No Cup runs under his leadership. No true moments where you could really, reasonably think that he was taking the team somewhere other than consecutive sequences of mediocrity with brief pauses for ultimately inconsequential brilliance.

Perhaps I've spent more than enough words on a guy who has won nothing, but received our love anyway, and who is now simply gone. I'd say good luck, but let's be honest, I want all that luck for the squad he's leaving behind.

Crest. On. The. Front.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) October 28, 2013

Fuck it, let's talk about our Bills.

"Husband? Wait a minute... what was all that 'one in a million' talk?" - Bills/Saints - Week 8

10/25/2013

That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?

The Apologist

It’s hard to hold out much hope for the Bills this weekend. Right now, the New Orleans Saints look like the heavy favorite to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLVIII and we look at best like a heavy favorite to battle for a 7-9 record. EJ is still out and Spiller looks like he’s 50% at best. And even though our defense has clearly turned a corner, recently they've had slow starts which could add up to an early blowout this Sunday.

But all in all, the Bills have made every game exciting this year, with no game decided by more than one score. So even if our odds are no better than Lloyd Christmas winding up with Mrs. Samsonite, this is a game worth getting excited about.

TRANSITIONS!

Three Things To Be Excited About:

1) Mario Williams

Sh, sh, sh... go to sleep.

The Deeg Podcast Industries present... A Podcast to be Named Later #1 - Taking Commander's V-Card

10/24/2013

Barrister chats with new-ish Deeg member and previously virginal podcaster, The Commander.

They talk about the Sabres being terrible, the Bills being fun again, media stuff, soccer (?) and try to keep this short but fail ever so miserably. Whatever, The Commander needed to get his feet wet with something long (giggity), and our podcast hoster hasn't been used in over a month.

Lots of music with this one - Ugly Duckiing, Homeboy Sandman, Phil Collins, Gorillaz and 2Pac.

Download here or here, RSS feed here, stream below, itunes subscribe below.

What the shit was that glorious victory? Let's hash it out - Week 7 Recappythinger - Bills/Dolphins

10/21/2013

This was WAY too easy to find, god bless you internet and god bless us, everyone!

The Barrister

Well I'll be fucking damned. I slept off some Pabst and the wonderful emotion of a road, divisional win and, yep, I'm a touch hungover but still fucking amped at what we all saw yesterday. Well, not quite all of us. Some of us turned it off sometime late third early fourth quarter because, well, there really is no reason to believe that this team will win a close game. Those of us in this category are stupid, jaded assholes since, these days, there's also really no reason to believe they'll lose a close game either. Predictions are thrown out the window with Jerry Sullivan's racist testicles - legit, they're a three (three??) person hate group as per the Southern Poverty Law Center, read a book or something - and we have yet another game to show that this team can not only hang with the league's supposed best, but are capable of surprising some of those squads along the way.

Going into New Orleans next week, even if there is no reasonable hope that the Bills can pull a win out of their collective asses, this team has firmly established itself as a squad able to put together a decent game of football every week, regardless of their opponent, and keep their fans glued to the TV wondering which way the result might go.

This is fun as hell.

"Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie?" - Bills/Dolphins - Week 7

10/20/2013

High Point of Dan's career.

The Apologist

Long before there was hatred for Rex Ryan or Bill Belichick, there was Don Shula. A certain amount of respect was required for the only coach in football history to have a perfect season, but then Brian Cox would run into the stadium giving everyone the finger and our respect for anyone wearing the *ahem* orange, aquamarine, and white would vanish quite quickly.

Since that rivalry's birth in the late 80's, I haven’t reveled in beating anyone the way I’ve enjoyed past wins over the Miami Dolphins. Pick a reason: their terrible fans, their terrible stadium, their terrible new jerseys, Dan Marino. It’s just fun to watch them lose. And not just the games, but the abject failure of their organization to do anything right. They might’ve drafted their quarterback of the future last year. What’s the next smart move? Let your left tackle walk. Good call.

But somehow the Dolphins manage to wiggle their way into rose-tinted glasses status year after year. They just made Chad Pennington’s noodle arm their starting quarterback? That’s a playoff squad! Bill Parcells is stealing a paycheck? Watch them win the Super Bowl in a couple years! Ted Ginn Jr. was their first overall pick!? …Ok, no one thought that was smart and it was by far my favorite schadenfreude moment of the last decade. Clearly Brady Quinn would’ve given them nothing, but you used the 9th overall pick on a kick returner. Awesome.

I'll recap this shit a day or two late, whatever, it's going to be just fine. - A Bills/Bengals Joint

10/15/2013

some things are inevitable

The Barrister

And so it fucking goes, like the sands of time through my asshole, these are the things we spend time doing on a Sunday afternoon, then rationalize away on Sunday night and into Monday morning.

"They really played pretty well and pushed a likely playoff team to the brink" or some such tweet, sent into the ether of our shared understanding that this still feels pretty shitty, however we opt to sugarcoat it. Hoping for motherfucking better days has never worked out quite as well as we've hoped, but still... admitting that the present, assured reality is a waste doesn't feel too good either.

Welp.

We buck the fuck up, as always, and raise a glass to the Bills in Week 6 ... pretty ok, great for a few brief seconds separated by really bad at times, but way more fun than any of us feared, and achieving that all for another week of football.

#blessed

"Nancy, I'm not a doctor, but it's got no pulse, it's not breathing and it's cold as a Popsicle. Believe me, honey, whatever he is, he's definitely dead!" - Bills/Bengals - Week 6

10/11/2013

Scizz usually does these. I'm filling in again because the asshole is traveling out to Happy Valley to watch the Nittany Lions get eaten alive by the eminently more powerful Wolverines. We hope he has fun and drinks as much as is humanly possible and doesn't start picking fights with strangers. Oh to dream.

The Barrister

The Buffalo Bills are a car and we fans are a giant, hairy beast that got hit by the car and taken into captivity only to be tricked into loving it there despite the fact that he had complete freedom before being run over and was probably fucking mad hairy beetches in the woods.

Wait, no.

The Buffalo Bills are the hairy beast, living blissfully in the forest until the NFL drives into it, ceasing the beast's existence in the naive world of the woods, replacing said existence with the harsh reality of (1) people knowing it exists, (2) people knowing it's head would look good stuffed and mounted on a wall, and (3) people wanting to shoot it in the kidneys (does Harry have kidneys?) at the earliest possible moment. In this scenario, we are the Hendersons, except the only way we know to protect the beast is with some stupid fucking hashtags like #TheLegendOfKikoAlonso, #RockTheRalph, #LeadTheCharge or some other such bullshit.

And the role of John Lithgow's character in this morality play goes to The Outlander because of the hair thing.

These Bills went from "ok, let's go" to "Jesus H. this is not good, let's go home" in the blink of an EJ Manuel trying to get an extra couple yards and being a big fucking idiot. This subject has not been discussed enough. You make us love you, Erik James, and then you prove to be a stupid kid. I know you're a kid, but I really don't care. That was unavoidably asinine. Step out of bounds, you prick. Because of you I can't justify going to bars for games anymore this season and soon I'll probably have to go shopping with my wife on Sundays since she'll inevitably use her crazy lady mind powers to discover what I already know... this season is a goddamned waste.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Yearning for that alternate reality paradox

10/10/2013

The Barrister

0-4-1.

It's getting to be that time where dreams come true, our frustration assuaged by a single decision by Pegula.

Shit is long overdue.

Get the fuck away from our hockey team you goddamned joke.

....

When people tell the story of this piece of garbage's reign of mediocrity in Buffalo, it's gonna be a simple narrative.

God fucking dammit. This team is really bad.

We Deserve Better (lol j/k it's Buffalo, fuck you)

10/8/2013

Hey gang, Commander here. I decided to forego a “season preview” of sorts for the Sabres based on what we’ve seen already. I don’t think anyone hasn’t figured out that they’re going to be fucking terrible.

I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t log on, type up “The DEEG 13-14 Sabres Preview” and just post “They fucking blowwwwwww” in 36pt font, because that covers things pretty nicely. (At least not yet, give me a few more months and some job security and that might be funny).

Is it fair to demand better from the Sabres?? I’d say absolutely. But I’m not talking on ice product. Let’s face it, we’re not a storied franchise like the Bruins or the Blackhawks. There’s no real history of success to draw from here. Your best hope for the on ice thing to work out is these kids ending up pretty good, a sprinkling of vets when they are good and one or two of them to be great. It’s the same recipe that created 05-07. Right now you’re in like 2003, this is going to go on for a few years and that’s fine. They flat out told everyone it’s the plan. Later on in the year we’ll talk about how it’s going, but for right now we need to take a look at the bigger problems in Sabreland.

Face it, the Pegula Era came with a lot of hope and promise and we all had the warm fuzzies that things were going to be FUCKIN RAD from now on.

We’re so far away from there that I’ve seen people wondering what Larry Quinn is up to.