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Only Swedes Can Break Your Heart.

3/31/2011

The Yachtsman

This is not a team I particularly enjoy. I don't like the majority of the players (Derek Roy, Drew Stafford, Tim Connolly, Mike Weber, and Andrej Sekera in particular), I don't like the inconsistent nature of the team, and I really dislike the fact that Thomas Vanek is not a guaranteed lock for Captain. Also, I'm pissed that these meatballs are wasting another potential HOF goaltender's prime. With all this in my head, I swore off this Sabre team months ago. My vow held strong through Pegulamania, the winning roadie, and basically all of my friends haranguing me to get over it and start pulling for them again. That vow was holding fast like the krauts at Dunkirk until Jhonas Enroth walked in last night and stole my heart.

'Come to the dark side...'

I'm a sucker for goaltenders. Some people like dekes, jukes, and a sick wrist shot -- my hockey crack is a diving glove save or a goaltender breaking up a two-on-none with a nasty stick check. I actually didn't really pour my heart into the Sabres until Hasek started dominating in the early 90's. My #39 jersey is still the only Sabres jersey I own, and it will probably remain that way until Miller wins another Vezina. I was the weird kid growing up who always wanted to play goal (much to the old man's chagrin....goalie equipment is f'ing expensive). Ryan Miller is my favorite Sabre of the past decade (alongside Chris Drury). With this in mind, little Jhonas Enroth has been slowly forcing me to pay attention to the Sabres again. Goddamn Swede.

Let's give a big round of applause for Sweden!

I really don't think enough has been said about Enroth's performance last night. So many factors were in play: The Playoffs, Miller's Injury, the loss to the Maple Shits, Enroth is 5'10", Lundqvist was across the ice, and our 2nd best (a VERY close 2nd mind you) D Man was out with injury. The fact that he came out and shut the Rangers out at home in a playoff race (yes, the Rangers suck offensively but still) should put to bed all of our reservations about goaltending depth heading into the tournament. Three straight shoot out victories plus a 1-0 shut out? That's this kids resume so far....pretty impressive if you ask this guy. That's why I'm so pissed off...Jhonas Enroth came in and performed in the CLUTCH right when I thought this team was chock full of choke. Prince Jhonas (yeah, that's what I'm calling him) has me reinvigorated and re-energized for another Sabres playoff run. Last night (and it wasn't hard) made me fall back in love with the Sabres. I fully blame Jhonas Enroth and his dominant goaltending. Once we bomb out in the ECF after a heartbreaker to the Flyers in Game 7, I'll look back to this moment, ask myself why I do this to myself, and point the finger directly in Jhonas Enroth's direction. Goddamn Swede.

GODDAMN SWEDES.

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Soccer is Fiiiiiiiine. Just Don't Tell Me I Have to Like It.

3/30/2011

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This is a soccer team I can get behind. HA! WORDPLAY!

The Scizz

Hey Yachtsman, Great post douche-bag. No really, I was entertained and it even got me a little excited for our upcoming Soccer/NASCAR day (don’t ask now, you will soon know). However, after I finished reading the post, I felt the need to defend us dirty Americans who don’t care for the sport. What Yachtsman and other soccer fans fail to realize, is that many of the people who do not enjoy soccer, truly have given it a try on multiple opportunities.

I have NEVER said I do not appreciate the sport. I appreciate all sports. In fact, I have even played futeball on several occasions in my life and soon really appreciated it, due to not being able to breathe after about three full minutes of play (and this coming from a guy who ran the steeplechase in track). Personally, as recent as this past World Cup I have tried to “get into” soccer. And since college, I have taken several opportunities to enjoy the game. One of my best friends is from Ecuador and we often would frequent bars to watch games during World Cup season. I watched games on Fox Sports Net with an old roommate on weekends trying to get excited. After both the 2002 and 2006 World Cup, several friends, as well as myself decided that we would start following soccer more closely.. We would each pick a European club and attempt to follow them in order to appreciate the game more and create a dedication to said team. Three months in, most of us had lost interest.

This is steeplechase. Two miles with giant hurdles and a water-pit. I swear to God I did not make this up, it is a real event.

It happens. Hell, not many people know this, but as a kid, I didn’t even like Hockey that much (GASP!) It was not until the age of 12 or 13 that I realized my true love for the sport. Listen, I’m not some homophobic redneck saying "soccer is for qu**rs". I'm saying, "Tried it. Not for me." Yet almost every soccer fan I know (not exaggerating) sits on a pedastal and immediately looks down on people who disagree about the brilliance of the sport. THAT is what I dislike about soccer. Not the sport itself, but the fact that when I say I don't like soccer, I get an immediate, "well you just don't get it."

Fuck that. I get it, O.K.? I DO NOT FUCKING LIKE IT! GET OVER YOUR SELF YOU PRETENTIOUS MOTHERFUCKER! The same thing happens with fans of bands like Wilco and the Flaming Lips. Oh, and movies like Blade Runner and anything by Jim Jarmusch (Although I do admit, I enjoy the former). Why the hell is someone not allowed to like something YOU love without insults being tossed their way?? Jesus, it is just like anything in politics right now.; “You don’t agree with me, so you’re an idiot and hate America!!!” Screw off, I have seen better debate skills from the evil high priest in Temple of Doom. "KALIMA. KALIMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

I honestly think soccer is the sport where this happens the most. People have told me they don’t like Hockey or American Football, and while I will attempt to convince them that it is awesome, I have never put them down as morons. I may tell them they need to watch it live, or explain that it was better in the 90’s, but the words “you just don’t get it” will never come out of my mouth. Hell, I rarely even attempt to defend NASCAR. I watch it because I grew up with it, but I am the first to admit that the shit is pretty ridiculous. I sure as fuck-sake would never dare call NASCAR drivers better athletes than soccer players. Have you ever seen Jimmy Spencer in his prime???

Everybody with me now: O-VER-RAT-ED, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap

You know what else is funny about this whole thing? I will continue with several attempts to enjoy soccer. If a sport is so popular worldwide, I must be missing something, right? Maybe I am, or maybe the damn sport just isn’t for me. However, if it means an excuse to drink beer at 9am on a Sunday morning, then you better believe I will keep giving it a chance until the day I die.

So soccer fans, next time someone says they don't like soccer. Don't be a douche-bag. Kindly ask them why and maybe have an intelligent discussion instead of insulting their sports knowledge prowess. There is a good chance they may be an ignorant redneck, but they also may have given it several tries and simply don’t like watching it. Hope this brings the sports world closer together. Now go back to your pansy game with silly colored cards, magic spray and fake injuries. KIDDING!!!!

Get up. Only your feelings are hurt.

On a side-note: I could not agree MORE with the Yachtsman on the Terry Pegula/birthday episode. My lord. Act like you've been there Buffalo!!!!

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Sunday Night Songitude.

3/27/2011

2 Comments

To close my evening of Hateration, I'll leave you with the above video. It's Jim James of My Morning Jacket backed by Calexico, covering Bob Dylan & The Band's "Goin' to Acapulco". I first heard this song in the movie "I'm Not There" (if you haven't seen it, get on that shit ASAP). Not exaggerating, I think Jim James has the most beautiful voice in modern music. Holy shit that man can belt.

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Hate Hate Hate...Hate...Hate Hate Hate Hate...Hate.

3/27/2011

1 Comment

Silky Johnson, 2002's Hater of the Year.

The Yachtsman

Warning to all you loveable, soft-hearted Buffalonians who read this blog: this post is covered in Haterade of the Brooklyn kind. Buyer beware.

Alright Buffalo. I've stayed away from one of these posts at the behest of my colleagues because they insist that I'm a professional hater. I tried to not write this. It's been a month or so since he took over the franchise, and I've only muttered these types of thoughts at the end of several pints. I've tried so hard to not be the Debbie Downer, but DAMN IT Y'ALL MADE ME DO IT I CAN'T STOP IT ANYMORE. THE HATE FLOWS FROM MY VEINS LIKE ANAKIN AFTER HE SMOKED THAT VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE!

MANY BOTHANS DIED FOR THIS POST!

This. Shit. Has Got To Stop. I bit my tongue when he cried at the press conference because everyone was digging it. I stayed away from the weirdos obsessing over the daughters and their respective twittage because....well because I stay away from subtle pedophilia like it's AIDS. I stayed away from basically all of Pegula-mania because I just want owners to own, players to play, and teams to fucking win cups. But this birthday shit......this hater CANNOT abide. In the words of my TV doppelganger:

This is a $6,400 suit! COME ON!

I understand everyone is pumped about an underachieving shyte of a team underwhelming themselves to an 8th seed when teams above them with half the talent are cruising to playoff berths or division championships (COUGH - THE BRUINS COUGH COUGH - THE RANGERS). I get that. I get that a billionaire decided his sunset years would be spent questing for the Sabres to get a cup. I get that, and fuck I love it too. But seriously. The guy changed the carpeting in the lockerroom, ditched the slug, and put up a suggestion box. We didn't go out and get Brad Richards. We're not smashing our way to a 1 seed. All we did was start operating like the other 90% of the league. WHEN HE WINS CUPS, I WILL SING. UNTIL THEN LET US NOT ACT LIKE JESUS RAINED MONEY ON DOWN FROM HIGH WITH WHICH WE ARE TO BATHE OUR GRUNDELS.

God love you Buffalo, act like you've been here before.

See? Haterade. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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AR-GEN-TINA! PUT-A MADRE!

3/27/2011

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A demonstration of American strength in an ever-shifting geopolitical landscape.

The Yachtsman

For those of you who understand and appreciate the beautiful game, this post is for you. For those of you who still lack the mental fortitude to understand and appreciate the sport of the world, quietly drown yourselves in a toilet. Cheers.

Growing up between the U.S. & France, the contrasts of my upbringing were always glaringly displayed on the pitch. Stateside, I never really had an issue hanging with the guys I played soccer with, be it organized or pick-up. Some guys were bigger and faster, others were a bit more technically proficient, but overall we were basically on the same level.

The Apologist, Age 12, Buffalo Bisons Delaware Park Soccer League. Humorist. Video Game Enthusiast. Goalkeeper.

However, each summer, when soccer season was REALLY heating up, my mother would "drag" me to France to spend at least 1-2 months with my family over there to make sure I understood our heritage, spoke the language, and generally had a worldly perspective of life outside the confines of the Elmwood Village (the bad village, not the gentrified Spot Coffee Land you've all come to know and love. I'm talking about "hey man what muthafuckin TIME is it" turns into "gimme yo fucking BIKE" within 3 seconds Elmwood Village. Ahh, the early 90s.)

Vive la Difference.

Until I set foot on the dusty park pitches of Europe, I had NO clue what soccer was. I thought I understood what we were doing in Delaware Park, but apparently I had no idea. I saw kids 5-6 years younger than me doing tricks with their feet that I still cannot hope to do today, and I haven't seen them on an American pick-up field yet. Football was in their blood, and it showed. Literally every kid, boy or girl, plays over there. If you're good, you get picked up as young as 9 or 10 to play for an Academy, which then shepherds you through your education until you're good enough to play at an elite level. Here, you're lucky if the farthest you go is a partial college scholarship. There, you're groomed from grammar school into adulthood to play for club & country.

Laugh it up, but these LFC Academy players could probably run through the NCAA Men's Tournament.

With the gross disparity between American Soccer and European (& World) Football, I always rooted for the US Men's National Team with a grain of salt. The 2002 World Cup was spectacular, but I genuinely thought we were lucky to get as far as we did. I thought the 2006 Cup disaster was more the norm. Coming into the 2010 World Cup, I thought we would be outclassed by the bigger, stronger sides we drew in Group play.

If you don't get at least a little bit emotional watching the video above, you have the heart of a serial killer. Congratulations. You're Charles Manson.

But then something weird happened. We started to win. Yeah, we didn't make the semis. The game we lost to Ghana could have gone either way. We beat England. Landon Donovan provided the single greatest moment in USMNT history. For not winning the whole thing, that was the best tournament I've ever watched aside from the 1999 Tournament of Lord Stanley. It changed my entire perception of American footy, from the amount of people who lived and died with every passing minute to the increased interest in MLS after the tournament. I have actual conversations with Americans about soccer now, something I never thought would happen. However, the Buffalonian in me felt that couldn't last. I figured we were like England: the last half decade produced the best crop of players the US has ever had, and we may never be as good as a national squad ever again. I felt like that until last night.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Last night, while Europe played qualifiers for Euro 2012, the rest of the world played International Friendlies. The U.S. faced Argentina, a side blessed with the likes of Cambiasso, Zanetti, Mascherano, Di Maria, Sergio Aguero, and of course, Lio Messi (if you don't know who he is just stop reading this post and go to YouTube, stupid). The last time Sam's Army faced the Albicelestes, we drew 0-0. However, Argentina's dominant performance in the World Cup coupled with the sheer existence of Lionel Messi gave me little hope against our MLS-laden squad. The first half was basically the Argentinian strikeforce VS Tim Howard. Another questionable starting lineup by Bob Bradley had Jermaine Jones, a holding midfielder, starting instead of an attacker. I understand the approach to go defensive, but against Argentina, the only hope you have is to score as many as they do....followed by heavy finger crossing.

'I got this fellas.'

The second half was in keeping with what we've come to expect of the USMNT. Bradley put in Juan Agudelo, the first product of the USMNT Development program to put on a Senior Shirt, and he delivered with a tap in from an impossible angle. For the entire second half, the US looked like it could hang and maybe even beat the Argentinians....that's pretty damn remarkable if you ask me. Oguchi Onweyu and Michael Bradley basically beat the shit out Messi for 30 minutes, and the rest of the team quietly forced the Argentines to play wide, eliminating their ability to shoot dart passes into the center of the American defense. The game ended in a draw, and as much as ties piss the shit out of Americans, I turned the TV off with a feeling of victory. We drew the second best team in the world with a squad of players with only two full time EPL starters (at mid-table clubs, no less). The Argentinians were filled with guys who are the focus or at least key players at top European Clubs: Messi (Barca), Di Maria (Madrid), Zanetti (Inter), Cambiasso (Inter), Aguero (Atletico), Pastore (Palermo), Banega (Valencia), and Milito (Barca). Four Argentinian starters could conceivably play in the Champions League Final this year, and we drew them. With a squad of younger USMNT players. If that doesn't give you hope for the future of US Soccer, then you must be a Bills fan.

Deuce says 'GET THE FUCK UP!'

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EPIC FAIL PART 2 Continued - Emotionally Invested

3/25/2011

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Why do the players I like always let me down? Also, I am MEGA constipated right now.

The Scizz

Apologies to anyone who actually checked the blog last weekend looking for my addendum to my 2007 draft class anaylsis (Ha). I truly sat down to type it up Saturday afternoon, but quickly realized I had way to much to say about the top two picks from this specific draft class, and that entire draft in general. I started remembering a lot about the actual day, as well as my huge expectations and love for both of these players. It was no longer a quick post, but becoming a full blown column, so I figured I would save it for today. Before I get into it too much, a little about the day itself.

April 28th, 2007. McFadden's Sports Bar in New York City. 1 p.m. This was before the NFL realized they could make even more $$$ by moving the opening rounds of the draft into primetime, thus ruining what was always a fantastic day of sports talk with friends and heavy drinking over several hours. I met up with several friends and fellow Bills' fans that day, but arrived with my good friend TomDogg at about Noon in order to get a spot by the bar. It was going to be a good day.

The beer started flowing immediately, and as JaMarcus Russell walked to the podium, signaling another EPIC, EPIC, EPIC failure for the Oakland Raiders, I felt confident. Buffalo was coming off a much improved 2006 season under new Coach Dick Jauron, and more importantly new GM Marv Levy. The draft class from the year before appeared to have some solid sleepers (obviously I was wrong), and the available draftees of 2007 looked incredibly deep. The bar was packed, and as a result of the draft itself taking place in NYC, people that were actually at Radio City started trickling in after their teams had selected. TomDogg and I actually ended up hanging out with a couple of Green Bay Packers' and Arizona Cardinals' fans. It was a joyous occasion for all. In fact, before Buffalo ever selected, my favorite moment of the draft occurred. But more on that later. On to the heartbreak.

How's my Drivin'? Call 1-800-555-THUG

I loved this pick. I don't care what anyone else says. I knew he could be trouble, but everything about him football-wise was amazing. He worked hard, played harder, and was actually thrilled to come to Buffalo. I wanted Patrick Willis more than anyone else, but after San Fran snatched him up right before Buffalo's pick, this was my next favorite choice. And since Marv made the pick, I figured that the worries about his character issues were in the past. Obviously that last part was incorrect, but everything Marshawn did on the field in his 3+ seasons with the Buffalo Bills made me happy. Yes, he had his moments in 2009 where he thought he was an outside the tackles runner, but he eventually reverted back to his power running ways. I could be wrong, but I don't think I ever questioned his heart or work ethic.

The two headed Freddie Jackson-Marshawn backfield was solid. At least this fan/writer/teacher/handsome sonuvabitch thinks so. It could have worked long-term, I really think so. However, the ridiculous drafting of C.J. Spiller ended that pairing before it ever had a chance to REALLY get started. Here there was two players with very different styles and skills in the Bills' hands, and they dropped one for a lousy 4th round pick (which they will most likely fuck up) because "the best player available at the time of the draft" was an undersized specialty player who "could be" a "gamebreaker". I feel like Dr. Evil with all of these quotations, but for God's sake this STILL pisses me off.

Some of my favorite moments watching the games from Calico Jacks in NYC happened to be when Marshawn would bust a 15 yard run up the middle without any hole ever opening up, my friends and I flashing the BEAST MODE sign and going nuts. I know many people loved the Spiller pick originally, and just as many, if not more were fine with the Lynch trade to Seattle. but c'mon people. Tell me you didn't miss Beast Mode even a little bit when you saw this run during the playoffs last year:

In theatres this summer: Marvel's THOR

Just as I was settling into loving that Marshwan selection, someone yells out from the bar "IT SAYS BUFFALO IS ON THE CLOCK!!!" The place erupts in cheers. Everyone in the building with any inkling of knowledge knew exactly what had just happened. The Bills had traded up to the 34th spot in order to select Penn State linebacker Paul Posluszny. It was no secret that experts and fans alike had been predicting that Buffalo would make some sort of move to grab "Poz".

Originally thought to a mid-1st round selection, Poz slipped down the charts and Buffalo jumped at the chance to have a Shane Conlan clone. Conlan anchored the Bills' defensive backfield through the 90's and hell, Poz even wore his jersey number at Penn State in his honor. How could this go wrong? It was a perfect fit. I for one was even more excited because I had just started dating a girl who went to Penn State who was football obsessed, and this gave us a little common ground to enjoy games together. In fact, one of the first gifts I ever bought her was a Poz jersey (and before you make fun of me for that, she loved it, and is still with me today. So suck on that).

How has the pick turned out? A resounding meh. I hate to say it, but Poz has been no better than a run-of-the-mill NFL linebacker. That isn't necessarily a bad thing considering that so many players are out of the league within three years, but he has not lived up to the huge expectations that Bills fans, myself included set forth on him. He also has not exactly been a player of great health. The first mistake was moving him to middle-linebacker in a poor 4-3 defense, but I could go on with that for another 2000 words.

This upcoming season (if there is one), Poz will be a free-agent. Although Buffalo has tendered him an offer, it may mean absolutely nothing if a new CBA is agreed upon. What should Buffalo do? I honestly don't have an answer. Poz had a strong season in the new 3-4 defense, creating six turnovers (which was tied for the NFL lead) and was among the league leaders in tackles despite missing several games AGAIN with injury. But Poz has yet to make a pro bowl, and last year was a contract year.

As you saw from the title of this post, I have been emotionally invested in both of these players. From day one I was a huge supporter. I own a Poz jersey. I own a Marshawn BEAST MODE t-shirt. I absolutely thought that these guys were the future of the team. But alas, I have been let down again. I'd like to say I'm still holding out for Poz to return and have a monster season that I always knew he was capable of, but that would be a lie. I have honestly become quite indifferent about the entire situation (kind of like anything political in the U.S. at this present moment).

Which brings me to my most lasting memory from the 2007 draft. The Miami Dolphins were on the clock with the 9th pick overall. They desperately needed a quarterback and Notre Dame star, Brady Quinn was still available. In a bar with mostly Buffalo fans, everyone was almost certain that Quinn would get snatched up immediately, especially after the commisioner walked to the podium made with time still left on the clock. What happened next was one of the best examples of unintentional comedy in the history of sports:

Ted Ginn Jr. A guy that many draft experts might fall to the 2nd round. Hilarious. I wish I had video of McFaddens when that went down. Tagliabue did not even get the "n's" in Ginn out before the bar erupted in laughter. Amazing. Even my friend TomDogg, who is a diehard Giants fan still considers this an amazing moment. Then again, the Dolphins have made the playoffs in the last 10 years. EPIC FAIL.

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"Bitches Ain't Shit"

3/25/2011

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'bitches can't hang with the streets'

The Yachtsman

The NHL, alongside providing me with fleeting moments of great joy, also provides me with innumerable topics to bitch about: Mario Lemieux's vaunted legacy (he was a dirty douche), any team south of D.C. with the exception of St. Louis, Gary Bettman, and anything and everything about the Versus broadcasts. One thing that drives me completely bonkers about the NHL is the lack of accountability for dirty hits. Guys like Matt Cooke flying around the ice and doucheing the careers of far better players makes me want to stab someone through the heart. That's not to say I'm not a fan of violence (have you met me?), but because I am a fan of justice, revenge, and the American Way.

MULLETS + GUITAR HERO + PISTOLS + CLIPS + AMMO + BANANA HAMMOCKS + BEARDS + SINGLE BEDS + CARPETS + NO SHIRT + NO SHOES + NO PANTS = AMERICA. FUCK AND YES.

I love all the hand wringing by dilettante American columnists who just delve into the NHL when there's a savage injury, or a bad fight, or a blindside hit (seriously, who the shit is gonna listen to someone from Oakland when it comes to hockey? Not this close minded Northeasterner!). They all say the same shit: CRACK DOWN ON THE FIGHTING! END THE HEADHUNTING! Well boys, it's not as simple as that.

'BLAH BLAH BLAH UNEDUCATED PONTIFICATION BLAH BLAH BLAH NONSENSICAL REFERENTIAL STATS BLAH BLAH BLAH I ACTUALLY DIDN'T WATCH THE GAME LAST NIGHT BUT WHATEVER BLAH BLAH BLAH CONCUSSIONS'

The simple truth behind everything concussion related is as follows: the Goon/Enforcer has gone the way of the Dinosaur, but the Pest has multiplied exponentially since the former's extinction. If you're looking for why guys like Matt Cooke can blast 4 different players into concussioblivion in the past 18 months with the only punishment coming from No Balls Bettman, it's because they NEVER pay for it on the ice. Gone are the days of the goon, and we've now entered into the dawn of the Pest. And as far as the Pest vs. Goon argument is going on, I'll take the side of the Goon, every time.

Don't get it Twisted, son.

Back in the day, if a guy like Matt Cooke or Alex Burrows pulled the shit they do EVERY night, the opposing team coach would bide his time until the right moment, and BOOM, lower the hammer with his goon. On-Ice justice would be served. In the era of the Goon (which included the high flying 70s, for all you "it'll bring back the clutch n grab!" people), pests like Rob Ray & Tie Domi had to pay dearly for every pesty hit, tap, jaw, jab, and general annoyance they laid down. But they ate their punishment (in Ray's case, enjoyed it), and with it came the respect of all the fans. Nowadays, Matt Cooke blasts someone from behind, ends their season, and skates into the lockerroom without a SCRATCH. Can you imagine the Big Bad Bruins of the '70s allowing a guy like Matt Cooke to even WALK if he had smoked Phil Esposito for the season with a blindside? What retaliation did Cooke face last year after he put Savard out for the year? A facewash? An illegal elbow? And these are the BRUINS. We're not even talking about a softie squad like the current Sabres. The guy should have been squared up by a guy twice his size, and pulverized into oblivion until the linesmen came in to break it up.

'Hey! I'm the World's Toughest Midget! Don't call ME soft!'

The only way to solve this issue, although completely unrealistic, is to eliminate the Instigator Rule. It's stupid. Fighting was never the problem in the NHL. Fighting has always been a way for players to police themselves. The problem has always been the Pest & the Goon going after better players. Now that the former NBA Attorney with no hockey background has eliminated the Pest's natural predator, the Pest's have free reign to prey on whomever they want, whenever they want. What the NHL SHOULD do is eliminate the instigator rule, toughen the fines/suspensions on blind hits, and allow the return of actual fighting so players can have real on ice implications for taking out guys like Marc Savard, Sidney Crosby, or (gasp) Chris Drury. A balanced approach will see the return of a natural Darwinian balance to the NHL that is sorely missed.

God I love being the guy who advocates fighting....it's so.......barbaric!

Sweeping Statement: If you want this out of the game, you just don't understand hockey. Sincerely, a barbarian.

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"Why The F*#k Did He Just Do That?" and Other Thoughts from the Opening Weekend

3/21/2011

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The Apologist

Sorry for the late post, guys and dolls. Just sneaking in under the wire here. I wish I had some great excuse for the reason why I'm late on this post, but I don't, so I won't waste your time. Let's just dive right in.

Ever since I graduated from college, watching the tournament always gets me feeling nostalgic for the days when I watched the Madness from a dorm room couch. (Sidenote: remember dorm furniture? Like sitting on a block of wood? Comfy!... shut up, I'm reminiscing.) But there were more than a few schools I'm glad I'm not now nor never was a part of this weekend.

Poor, Texas. Jordan Hamilton has pulled the ball down off a blocked shot with 14 seconds left. He and his fellow Longhorns are clinging to a 2-point lead. All he has to do is pass to a teammate or wait to be fouled. So what does he do?

He burns a timeout. Oops. Minutes later, his teammate gets tagged for a shaky 5-second inbounds violation. Arizona ball. 3, the hard way. Ball game. But you've still got Vince Young's Rose Bowl in the horizon of your rear-view so you won't get too much sympathy from we here at DGWUS.

The worst moments of all clearly came in the game between Pittsburgh and Butler. By now, if you're a sports fan, it's hard to imagine you don't know the details of Saturday night's bizarre finish. For those of you who don't know, Jamie Dixon's Panthers wrote a new chapter in their growing novel of tournament heartbreak. Butler had just taken a 1-point lead, with seconds left in the game, when Butler's Shelvin Mack inexplicably ran straight into Pittsburgh's Gilbert Brown with 1.4 seconds left. Brown hit the first try to tie the game. Game tied. Butler has no timeouts and little to no chance of getting any kind of decent shot off, so the Panthers should be AT LEAST guaranteed overtime.

But that was before Brown clanged his second shot and teammate Nasir Robinson lost his composure. He attempted to wrestle the rebound from Matt Howard and Howard, quickly realizing this, threw his arms in the air to draw a foul. He made the first shot and intentionally missed the second, sending Pittsburgh home short of the Sweet 16 for the third time in four years.

These mental mistakes got me thinking a bit though, about an interesting interview I had seen on PTI the week before. In it, Jay Bilas was asked about the strength of this year's field. He said that he not only felt the field was weak, but that the talent level of college basketball has been dropping significantly for many, many years. Obviously, this is due in part to the fact that such a large number of the talented freshman who enter the NCAA are gone within a year.

It's easy to laugh this idea off at first, but it did get me pondering. Bilas is as smart an analyst as there is when it comes to college basketball. Surely he knows there's a more complicated reason than just the "one-and-done" players, but does his basic point hold water. Is college basketball getting worse? The more I thought about it, the harder finding a conclusion became.

The simple answer would seem to be yes. The talent level in the NCAA isn't what it used to be. Once upon a time, players the caliber of LeBron James, Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant would've attended their respective schools for at least 3 years and the game has suffered because they don't anymore.

Of course, I can only remember so far back. The first years of college basketball I can recall were around the Golden Era of Coach K at Duke. I remember my Dad letting me stay up past my bedtime to watch the end of the legendary Duke/Kentucky game. Part of the foundation for my love of sports was formed that night when Angola native Christian Laettner hit that iconic turn around jumper to put the dagger in Kentucky.

But that was almost 20 years ago.

The 90's saw the start of the new era in basketball, where players like Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett not only went straight from playing in high school to playing in the NBA, but also were paid EXTREMELY well to do so. Not to mention the fact that both quickly entered the conversation of the best players in the league at their respective positions. There was no way this could not have an affect on the young basketball players who grew up at that time. They watched as their predecessors succeeded at a professional level without going to college. Needless to say, for players out there who struggle to find a school they can get into or afford, or who just plain old didn't want to go, this seemed like a great idea.

There are other issues that play into this as well, of course. To me, the next biggest one after the "one-and-done" situation is the dissipation of talent around the country. I think it could be easy to confuse the lack of any kind of powerhouses like Krzyzewski’s Blue Devils or Wooden’s Bruins with a lessening in overall quality. I guess what I’m saying is maybe the pool of talent in college basketball used to be a lot more concentrated on the major programs than it is today, therefore you don’t see dynasties as often or as frequently as you once did.

It used to be that a guy as talented as Larry Bird was crazy to want to play for a small school like Indiana St. He went there to get away from the high profile. He didn’t want the bright lights and intense scrutiny. He just wanted to play and be left alone.

And that was possible.

Back then, a player as talented as Larry Bird could go to Indiana St. and escape heavy attention. In this era of 24/7 news coverage and social networking, that’s just not a reality players live in anymore. Even in the days of Laettner and the Fab 5, you didn't have four ESPN's, plus all the regional coverage that the rest of cable offers.

Kids now know they don't necessarily have to go to a major program to get noticed by league scouts and get a shot at the national title. And this has contributed to the growing strength of the smaller conferences. The obvious example of that this year is Virginia Commonwealth University. Every talking head in the sports media world butchered the selection committee for letting VCU into the tournament. VCU has responded by tearing their way through their first three opponents (average margin of victory = 16 pts). And you'd probably have an easier time recognizing their opponents (USC, Georgetown, Purdue) than finding VCU on a map of Virginia.

But I'm wandering away from my basic question. Is the game getting worse?

Let's come back to last weekend. For my money, the most panic inducing from a single player belonged to UNC's John Henson (not to be confused with the host of Wipeout). Washington was down by 3 with seconds to go, when Venoy Overton panicked sprinted to midcourt, seemingly expecting to be fouled, and hurled the ball towards the basket. But his mental lapse was surpassed by John Henson's. Rather than watch the hopeless shot sail out of bounds, Henson reached out and touched the ball, giving the Huskies possession with about half a second left on the clock. Then, on the inbounds play, Washington's Isaiah Thomas hurled up a prayer that was well short of the rim, but Henson leapt to swat at the ball, nearly drawing a goaltending call. Maybe he knew it was only a two, but given the mistake the play before, it's hard to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, why are you bothering to swat it at all? Leave it alone, John.

These pointless moments had no effect on the game, but it was perfect fuel to the fire of what I had been pondering. Was this a sign of the weak state of the game?

Ultimately, my answer is no. It’s impossible to dispute that there'd be far more talent in the NCAA if players stayed there for 2-4 years, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the quality of the game is getting worse. Just because the players aren't as talented as they used to be, doesn't mean that the game they play can't still be played at a high level. I've seen a lot of young kids making many mistakes over this past weekend, but I've also seem some incredible performances over the last few weeks. Kemba Walker's performance through the Big East tournament was incredible. And even Henson, prior to making his mental errors, made an incredibly clutch play stealing an inbound pass from Washington when they had a chance to take the lead. Besides, we all remember Chris Webber's infamous timeout and I'd argue he was as talented a college basketball player and pro as anyone of Durant or Rose's caliber is today. Both can pass him eventually, but let’s not forget, at this stage in his career, Chris Webber was nasty.

Overall, I don’t think the field has gotten weaker, so much as it has become far more even. Clearly the bigger programs are still the heavy favorites for the later rounds of the tournament. But these days for every Florida or Michigan St that makes it to the Final Four, there's a George Mason or Butler waiting to face them. And I think the small schools are starting to catch up.

Just look at the remaining field. Along with the old reliable contenders, UConn, Duke, Kansas, etc., you've got lesser known programs like BYU, San Diego St. and Richmond with just as good a shot as anyone of making it to the championship round. And in a one-game playoff, it's anyone game.

Besides, you tell me. If I told you 21 games in the first weekend were decided by less than 10 points, and of those, 13 were won by 4-points or less, would you tell me that sounds like a bad weekend of college basketball?

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EPIC FAIL PART 2 - The Class of 2007

3/17/2011

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Anybody else have the feeling our kids will be speaking Chinese fluently in 30 years?

The Scizz

Before I jump into the sadness that is another Buffalo Bills' draft class, let me set a scene for you. As some of you may know, I work in education. I will not say exactly what I do or where I do it, but keep in mind that is what I do for a "real" living. I actually really enjoy it 99.9% of the time. I am one of those jerks that truly loves what they do. However, days like today, I decidely want to jump out of a window. Why, you may ask? Several reasons: It is currently 68 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous. It is St. Patrick's Day and I am very Irish. It is also the first full day of the NCAA tournament, which as The Apologist put it, is the first day of the greatest sports month of the year. Where am I? At my school until 10pm tonight because Parent-Teacher conferences (which only happen twice-a-year) are scheduled for this evening. That my friends is an EPIC FAIL. But I'll stop bitchin' and continue onto the....uh....other kind of bitchin'.

THE 2007 DRAFT:

7th round: C.J. Ah You - Defensive End - Oklahoma

Awesome name. My high school buddy Nate was most excited about this pick, just for the possibilities after he made a big play: Aaaaaaaaaaah Youuuuuuuuuuuuu! But alas, it was not to be. C.J. was cut before the season began. In fact, he was one of the very first players cut in the very beginning of training camp. Bad pick, right? Nope. C.J. was picked up as an injury replacement mid-2009 by the St. Louis Rams and has gone on to become a fantastic 3rd down pass rusher. In spot situations this past season, C.J. racked up four sacks on a surprisingly strong St. Louis defense. How many did Chris Kelsay have this season as a full-time starter? 3.5. Better give him an extension.

7th round: Derek Schouman - Fullback/Tight End - Boise State

Derek came out to Buffalo after being one of the heroes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl in which Boise State shocked Oklahoma. You may also remember the post-game in which Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. (Sidenote: The Scizz's better half was best friends in high school with said cheerleader's cousin! Pathetic name-drop!) Moving on, Schouman never amounted to anything in Buffalo, besides a very strong opening game in 2009 that ended in a horrific knee-injury. He also now resides in St. Louis. I sense a pattern.

6th round: John Wendling - Safety - Wyoming

Meh. He was a solid gunner on kick-offs and punts for three years, but when it was time for a new contract, the Bills decided to move-on (which is what Buffalo tends to do with long-snappers too). I'm pretty indifferent. However, he did do this once:

FACT: The Buffalo Bills special teams coaches attempted to have John jump opposing offensive lines in order to block kicks. FACT: It never worked.

4th Round - Dwayne Wright - Running Back - Fresno State

Remember this guy? Of course you don't. He had a forgetful rookie season and was cut before the 2008 season due to fumble issues. Since then his career has included being waived by the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, and the Hartford Colonials of the UFL. He is now on the Toronto Argonauts' practice squad. Ouch.

3rd Round - Trent Edwards - Quarterback - Stanford

Fuck this guy for three reasons:
1.) For his ability to hold onto the ball in the pocket longer than Rob Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, and J.P. Losman COMBINED.
2.) For his career stat line of 30 INTs'-to-26 TDs, 60.5 comp %, and 75,4 passer rating
3.) For actually convincing me at one point during the 2008 season that he was the real deal and would lead us to the promise land that is the playoffs. NO PICTURE FOR YOU, YOU HANDSOME SONUVABITCH!!!!

As you may have noticed, none of these players are currently on the roster. There are two more woooooooonderful selections left, but since I had to stay at my school until 10 p.m., and I am absolutely dying for a Guinness and Bushmills shot, those will have to wait for this weekend. So good news for you! A draft special addendum this weekend for everyone to enjoy! (which according to website statistics, is when only girlfriends and immediate family reads our site) Oh well, I hope you read it, because I'm writing it bitches.

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March Madness is the Greatest Month in Sports and Other Obvious Conclusions

3/14/2011

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The Apologist

(Prelogue: This will be Buffalo sports blasphemy to many, but I know little to nothing about Rick Martin, other than he was the greatest scorer on the greatest line the Sabres ever had. I'd love to do some sort of proper memoriam to him, except that I wasn't alive when he played and I don't know what to say. So I'll leave that to the pros. And by pros, I mean, the Buffalo News. Please don't hate me.)

As I've stated in the past, I watch sports to escape the nonsense of everyday life. I think all sports fans would agree that there's something wonderfully pure about a game's final score. In all cases, when all is said and done, the score is the score is the score. You can debate what went wrong or what should've been done, but the outcome is beyond dispute. This team won. That team lost. Over.

Any other category of life can come with an overwhelming amount of gray area. Whether it be politics, family life or your job, rarely are things ever cut and dry like they are at the end of a game. But that certainly would be nice ('I'm sorry, Boss, but the scoreboard clearly states that I deserve a raise').

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Only Swedes Can Break Your Heart.

Soccer is Fiiiiiiiine. Just Don't Tell Me I Have to Like It.

Sunday Night Songitude.

Hate Hate Hate...Hate...Hate Hate Hate Hate...Hate.

AR-GEN-TINA! PUT-A MADRE!

EPIC FAIL PART 2 Continued - Emotionally Invested

"Bitches Ain't Shit"

"Why The F*#k Did He Just Do That?" and Other Thoughts from the Opening Weekend

EPIC FAIL PART 2 - The Class of 2007

March Madness is the Greatest Month in Sports and Other Obvious Conclusions

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