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A Party Within A Dream...Outlander's ode to the 05-06 Sabres

5/13/2016

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The Outlander

I didn’t think I’d write about this simply because I’ve talked about it so much, written so many words about it while only scratching the surface. I am acutely aware that all of this, the emotional connection I feel to it still today, the memories it elicits comes off both heavy handed and corny. I’m a cynic, antagonistic, dismissive about many things these days (off the top of my head: The election, fake jersey wearers, Rex Ryan, Pennsylvania drivers, my retirement prospects), but this, this was a time where everything- on the surface- seemed perfect. There will be greater moments ahead both in sports and in life but never have they both met in such a beautiful collision for me as what happened in spring 2006. This is that run as I experienced it, as much as I can remember and write without going down the many various tangential rabbit holes that would easily quadruple the size of this piece. If you wanna hear about any of the spinoffs sometime, @ me.

I usually find myself thinking about that playoff run around this time of year and I suppose since you took the time to click this, you do too. However, the ten year anniversary of the 05-06 team has come abruptly, quietly, though I suppose that’s what happens with a team that can’t even claim the most basic banner. They didn’t win their league, their conference, or even their division. Any and all metrics tell us that we should have a greater affinity for teams that came after- in 2007 and 2010 for instance- or before, in the case of 1999 or 1997. Still, The Buffalo News has practically made it a daily feature and even the Sabres twitter account has gotten on board despite the fact everyone in the marketing department thinks the organization was founded in 2010.

This summer is also my ten year college reunion. In what I am sure will shock all of you, none of my friends from Tonawanda High went away to college, and as an only child and the first one in the family to go to college, I felt rather overwhelmed, even at a tiny liberal arts school in Olean. I found some friends but felt awkward, out of place; I loved to drink so that alone got me through a year and a half until I studied abroad. When I returned my junior year, however, it was like a light bulb went off. The day I drove onto campus (drove! Finally!) I went to a party and met the girl that would dominate my memories of that Sabres run and years beyond. I made better and closer friends on campus, established a usual crew, house, bar, a place for the first time as a Bonnie.

Subsequently, after being one of dominant interests through high school, the Sabres found themselves relegated to the back of my mind in college. I’m not even sure we got MSG the first couple years I dormed there (to put it in perspective, I had an actual phone in my room freshman year because there weren’t any cell phone towers); abroad I could only follow the results from checking the TBN website each morning on campus. By junior year and the lockout, I just didn’t care. I was coming into my stride socially, getting acquainted with some of the lovely women on campus, basking in the Red Sox first World Series title in 86 years and for a month in there the Bills actually mattered! Come 2005 and the start of my Senior Year my biggest concerns were, in no particular order:
  1. Breakup with the Long Island girl I’d started dating spring semester for some inexplicable reason
  2. Get into law school at Penn State
  3. Eschew responsibility for fun at every opportunity

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Not a bad setting to take in the 05-06 season imo
​My first actual memory of that season was reading Sports Illustrated’s preview issue (Sabres 28th, Hurricanes 29th); my first firm memory of that season was in November. I was home from Bonas for the weekend and had brought a girl with me for the first time. She was the now-sophomore whom I had met at that party my first night back Junior year. Her age mattered little on this trip since there were numerous dive bars around Tonawanda that would serve a 19-year old without question, even more of which that would serve her accompanying usual customers such as my friends. For whatever reason we watched a game against the Senators in my grandparents' basement, several friends who I don’t exactly recall, me and her. As the Sabres took yet another early season shellacking at the hands of this apparent juggernaut (research tells me it was a 6-1 loss), I shook my head and commented to no one in particular “they are so fucking good.”

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The DGWU Sports CrapTastiCast! Episode 48: Since I Left You

4/6/2016

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The boys are back. In this episode, with a delayed release due to Dubs being equal parts overworked and forgetful, The Outlander, The Commander and The Barrister gather from their disparate locations outside of WNY to discuss, in large measure, the value in recognizing expat stories when we discuss the City of Good Neighbors. We also make bad jokes, curse a bunch and talk about beer, the Sabres and awful sports media, as per protocol. 
Music by Avalanches, streaming below, iTunes subscription through the button below that, download here or here, RSS subscribers hit here. 
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Guys I Blacked Out There For a Minute, What the Shit Just Happened - Bills/Bears - A Week 1 Recap Boner

9/7/2014

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The Barrister


I just woke up. I remember something about Hoboken, a vagrant with a speech impediment and a Bills hat signed by Andre Reed, laughing at the bar as I came to terms with the supposed inevitability of a Bills loss, some masters of Dutch treats, Strongbow on tap, and friendship. The internet tells me that the Bills won a football game, but let's be real y'all ... that kind of nonsense fucks with our narrative and we all know that shit can't happen. Our narrative is sacrosanct. Our narrative is untouchable. It is rationally-developed and rock solid. Immovable. A thing with which one cannot, by definition, fuck. 

Well, shit on a shingle, friends. Apparently pigs do fly. 
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"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" - Saint Doug

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The Legal Limit - Episode 11: Drunk at a Mets Game

6/18/2013

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So we got drunk at a Mets game last week. They lost. We recorded banter. 

Honestly, we talk about enough bullshit with no real direction that I should probably give you some sort of road map but absolutely have no desire to be of such assistance. You'll love it all the same.

Appearances from, as usual, the Barrister and the Apologist, and guest spots from our friend who is a Red Sox fan and my buddy JB who split sometime in the 7th inning. Musical interludes from Jefferson Airplane, The Beastie Boys, Ozomatli, Walk the Moon and Radiohead. 

Oh, and we talk about my homie Rabbi Darkside (from Buffalo, by way of Brooklyn) who just came out with an album. Order that shit on iTunes now!


For the podcast, bitches, download here or here (choices!), hit the iTunes button below, or the stream from the player. Booyah.
The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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The DGWUS CrapTastiCast - Bonus Episode: LIVE from #OccupyNassau

2/15/2013

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#BecauseItsBuffaloWins
The Barrister

Welp. That happened.

We went to the Sabres game out on Long Island last week, we recorded dipshit #hottakes in the midst of our drunkenness, and then I took my sweet ass time editing it all into a nice little package for you. 

At least it's short, right guys?

If you enjoy those moments when we're the most wretched versions of ourselves, you'll love this one. If you prefer us when we're serious sports analysts, go take a nap while reading Buffalo Wins.

Music by the Jambrones, The Edgar Winter Group, The Doors and Eric Clapton.  Download here and here, or stream below.

The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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The Legal Limit, Episode 5: A Triumphant Return

11/18/2012

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Apologist and Barrister, feat. The Continental


Oh dear.... Craft beers. Whiskey. Vanishing dignity.

You may be aware that Apologist and I recently rendez-vous'd (not a word) for the Bills game Thursday night, using the time out at the bar as a perfect opportunity to revive the little-known Legal Limit podcast franchise. You also may be aware that new-to-the-Deeg Continental - of Smarten Up! mailbag fame - joined us, making her podcast debut.

You probably wouldn't have predicted this level of shit show, though. Good good, we are terrible. Actually, really, just the Barrister. He was most definitely over the legal limit, right guys? ... I'll show myself out.

We talk Bills/Dolphins, of course, but also take potshots at Al Gore, celebrate the Knicks move to 6-0 against the Spurs, talk about how the NBA may pick up disgruntled hockey fans during the lockout, commiserate Ryan Fitzpatrick's role in Bills franchise history, laugh about blunts and guns, and then bump into some Hurricane Sandy refugee Chicago Bears fans who happen to also love the Miami Heat. I'd claim it all makes sense in the end, but it most surely does not. Luckily, I'm pretty sure it's about what you've all come to expect from this embarrassment of a website.

Musical interludes include Jefferson Airplane, Oddisee, Bob Dylan and The Beastie Boys.

Stream below, download here, via the iTunes button below, or on our podcast page here. OPTIONS!

Cheers.
The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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Sun Stroke, Route Jumping, Shitty Football, Beautifully Marinated Meats, and Joe Pinzone is Cannoli Jesus. A Week 1 Yachtsman Bills Recap.

9/10/2012

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The Yachtsman


SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT IN ALL THE HATS. Well, pack it in guys, wait until hockey....no can't do that.....well the Knicks start in October.....ugh, fuck James Dolan......well there's always Liverpool....they can't score......well, the Mets start again next March!......OH WELL SHIT I'LL JUST QUIT THIS SPORTS CRAP ALTOGETHER THEN, A HOLES.
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Sad Wizard and his sad, sad beard.
Say a quarterback has a stellar career at a shitty FCS school like Harvard. Then, instead of going into I-Banking and destroying our financial future, he takes his 7th Round NFL Draft selection and decides to make a go of it. He struggles for a few years, getting spot-starts in shitholes like Cincinatti & St. Louis, all via guts, determination, and guile. Throwing the ball the way he's always known how; a self-taught gunslinger. After a few years, this highly educated journeyman lands in the backwater-est of NFL backwaters, Buffalo. He fights through coaching changes, managerial changes, shitty QBs in front and back, finally proving himself to be a competent QB for a team replete with QB failure. In his first year as the bona-fide-honest-to-god-nobody-breathing-down-his-back starter, he rockets out to a 5-1 start and everyone wants to have a million of his babies. He gets injured in a blowout to the Redskins, and everything falls to shit. Weaknesses reveal themselves, games are lost, and hopes are shattered. BUT ALAS EVERYTHING IS MADE ANEW COME THE OFFSEASON, FRIENDS. This journeyman-cum-starter-sum-ostensible savior shows up to camp ready to go and meets a new QB coach. WHO THEN CHANGES EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SELF-TAUGHT GUNSLINGER BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE BROUGHT HIMSELF OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF THE FCS AND INTO A STARTING JOB IN THE NFL ALL TOTALLY WRONG. Mechanics, footwork, vision, reps, progressions....EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT NOW. Oh, but wait, you might ask....who is this brilliant man who felt the need to fundamentally change The Bearded One? Why, he must be a genius who has helped Hall of Famer and First Overall Picks alike! RIGHT YACHTSMAN?!?!!?

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Absence makes the heart... OH CRAP THE SEASON IS LOST

7/23/2012

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One of the many things I missed while I was out.
The Barrister


Cue the milquetoast opener:

Well gosh darnit, fans of the Deeg, I know you've been eagerly awaiting content from the Kings of Fresh Takes and like the degenerates we are, we've opted to tend to our real world lives instead of bloviating about the latest in bread and circus sports entertainment. Why the lull? Well, personally, my answer to that question has three parts: (1) it's July and I've been getting viciously hamzoed more often than I should admit (hooray anonymous internet monikers!!); (2) I've been traveling a lot over the past 10 days, aforementionedly (not a word?) drunk for 70% of it (not true... not not true either), and I've simply been too drunk and/or hungover and/or distracted to sit down for a little chat; and (3) the only bright spots in my sports world are a surging team in a still ignored league (for now) and an utterly unproven team in the best league in America (for now). Forgive me if I don't jump for joy at the prospect of dwelling on shit that makes me contemplate a swift union between my fist and Fred Wilpon's balls.

But more on those Mets in a few. I can't lead of this trainwreck with that much heartache.


Can't you tell this is going to be FUN??? I'm bored and drunk on a train and you all get the fruits of my labor! 


Wait... we need music. 


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This is the Day that the Lord Hath Made.

2/3/2012

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#OCCUPY
The Barrister

Well kiddies, the day is nearly upon us. The day when Buffalonians shed their New York City selves and don their Sabres armor for a journey into enemy lands. Like Frodo and his manservant, our fate is certain and there is no turning back from the kind of darkness that awaits us just 25 miles to the west.

Uniondale, NY is a scary ass place. Orcs, man. ORCS.

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The DGWU CrapTastiCast Episode 13: Boner Jams '03

8/4/2011

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The Yachtsman wanted to write a personal introduction to this episode of the CrapTastiCast, but unfortunately he got caught up with work and had to bail. Check back later, because he may add a glorious addendum about the breakdown of drunken language brought to you by the Scizz during this episode, but until then, this will serve as a brief disclaimer for what we all must consider an unlucky #13.
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Christian Ehrhoff??
Do not adjust your dial at the beginning of the podcast (are there dials on ipods?), that is 100% German techno you are hearing. Just bear through it.  The rest of the podcast I can't even say much about.  Since our highest downloaded episode of the CrapTastiCast is #7 when we were all still hammered from the night before, we decided to try to top it.  What you get is a cornucopia of drunken madness that includes LOTS of name calling, video game integrity, bovine insemination, Captain America, Buffalo accents, terrible baseball teams, the Demon Swede, pedaphiles, the creation of a super punter, and several on-air sing-alongs.  That last one, of course, led to a DGWU group outing to a karaoke bar in Korea town until almost 2am later that night. Why wouldn't it?  When it's the offseason for all Buffalo sports, this what you get; all five us together for a podcast (a first!), with microphones and plenty of alcohol. God help us all.

Download this monstrosity from itunes below or through deargodwhyussports.libsyn.com.  And if you are downloading from the snazzy Apple itunes, take a second and leave us a lovely review....or don't. We know what we are....and we apologize.
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