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Well, that was an utter waste of time and money.

8/20/2012

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i miss steroids.
The Barrister, feat. Scizz, Outlander and the Apologist

Shawne Merriman. No longer a Buffalo Bill.

Coming off a long and tiring weekend of prep for the birth of my child, I was considering penning a piece on fatherhood and sports and my anxiety level and my fear of becoming a shell of my former self once the sleep deprivation hits. I may still get into that at some point before or soon after Baby Barrister makes his way into the world, but not today.

Ripping on a has-been/maybe-never-would-have-been-without-the-juice and the similarly has-been/maybe-never-would-have-been-without-the-Juice-or-Jimbo team that employed him is way more fun. See what I did there? It’s only Monday and I’m already bringing the awesome.

Science made Merriman a great player. And science probably should have told One Bills Drive that Merriman couldn’t be a great player after being robbed of his special sauce and the behemoth abilities it brought him. Steroids help with recovery time, avoiding injuries, getting unreasonably huge. Without them, Merriman showed himself to be incapable of keeping up with the game. His “Lights Out” dances seem delightfully quaint now, like a high school player celebrating his dominance against a ten year old kid half his size. You didn’t earn it, Shawne, and you couldn’t hack it when the playing field was leveled. The Bills, for their part, look not just a little bit like they're wiping a $3 million egg off their face. Ugh.
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Did I say “delightfully quaint?” ... I meant “utterly pathetic.”

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The Wire's 2011 NFL Draft Day Fallout: Part Two

5/4/2011

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The Wire

4 (122) - OT Chris Hairston, Clemson
With their second pick in the fourth round, the Bills selected arguably the last remaining higher-end prospect available in the draft.  Hairston is big, long, athletic, and most importantly has quick feet for an OT weighing in at 325+ lbs.  He also had a very impressive Wonderlic score.  Hairston played LT at Clemson, but will be part of the Bills' competition/revolving door at RT, which is apparently occupied by none other than Erik Pears (?).  If Hairston develops his technique and demonstrates better ability in space against edge rushers, he could see significant time as a rookie.  Dedication in the weight room is also of utmost importance to curtail his sloppy spare tire
Grade:  B    


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5 (133) - RB Johnny White, North Carolina
North Carolina's Pro Day was a regular "Who's Who" of NFL general managers, scouts, and coaches.  Everyone was there including a few teams' entire coaching staffs.  The Bills were represented by GM Nix, the newly fired Tom Modrak, and two scouts.  In the end, the Bills evaluated 17 UNC prospects and in the fifth round of the draft, officially took their second.  White converted from WR to RB last season when UNC's starting RB Shaun Draughn was injured.  He finished with 800 yards rushing and would have surpassed the 1,000 yard mark if not for a minor injury.  It should come as a relief to Bills fans that White is a hard-nosed, down-the-hill, hit-the-hole type runner.  There is no hesitation in his game.  He plays bigger than his size and given his experience at wideout, can also catch passes out of the backfield.  Moreover, Bills scouts spoke extremely highly of his personality and character.  If White improves his blocking ability, he may see time as a third down specialist.  He will also contribute significantly on special teams, possibly as a gunner, which separates him from the ilk of Xavier Omon.  At this point in the draft, the Bills had bigger needs, i.e. LB, TE, but a couple of their picks each year are dedicated to special teams.  This may have been one of them. 
Grade:  C+  



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6 (169) - ILB Chris White - Mississippi St.
White is another player that made an impression on Bills coaches at the Senior Bowl.  He was a JUCO transfer who progressed significantly during his senior season at MSU.  Bills scouts describe him as a tough, rugged ILB who has demonstrated the ability to run with TEs and thus allows them positional flexibility.  He is an instinctive player and excels at diagnosing run plays immediately upon the snap of the ball.  At 246 lbs, the Bills continue to add size to the middle of their defense.  However, White will always be a sub-par athlete and lacks the speed and closing burst to contribute on a consistent basis.  Nevertheless, the Bills added another special teams piece and needed depth at LB.
Grade:  C-



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7 (206) - CB Justin Rogers, Richmond

Rogers was an undersized defensive back even at the FCS level.  He struggles to wrap up ball carriers to the point of whiffing on occasion.  He also lacks speed and explosion and thus will never match up in man coverage in the NFL.  The Bills were most likely enticed by his great leaping ability, short area quickness, and ability to jump routes underneath.  For these reasons, he has the potential to contribute in zone sub-packages.
Grade:  D





7 (245) - NT Michael Jasper, Bethel (TN)
Jasper has been a pet project for Bills scouts for almost a year now.  At his peak, Jasper weighed in at 448 lbs with an average playing weight of 435 lbs.  At the Bills request, Jasper trimmed down to a sleek 378 over the past four months.  As reward, Jasper received a draft flyer from the Bills with their final pick.  Jasper began his collegiate career as a NT in the 3-4 scheme but played OG the past two seasons at Bethel.  The Bills have indicated he will compete at NT for them.  Any in-depth analysis of Jasper's game is, in fact, over-analysis.  He's mammoth.  He takes on blockers.  Period.  Although fans should check out the YouTube video that documents Jasper's workout; he's impressively nimble on his feet.  The video could rival the hype of John Wendling's high jump clip, although hopefully Jasper sticks around longer to make it worth the entertainment.  With a late seventh round compensatory pick, the Bills might as well draft a freak.
Grade:  B+ 

How much does Jasper look like Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry of the WWE? Nutty!  Anyways, a huge thanks goes out to The Wire for this awesome analysis of the Buffalo Bills 2011 draft class.  Well done big guy.  Let's just hope this round of newbies doesn't end up in the Scizz's EPIC FAIL draft series.  

A Nate Dogg video? Don't mind if I do. REGULATOOOOOOOOOORS! MOUNT UP!
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