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Legal Limit 8: The Legal Disciples of Bob, Ltd

3/12/2013

This is what winning looks like, Sadbres.

The Barrister & The Apologist

When watching your favorite team gets this hard, you need to find ways to make it fun. For most of us, this requires a great deal of alcohol, but here at the Deeg, recording podcasts makes it extra special. And so it was that the other night the Barrister and I stood outside our local pub and discussed a wide variety of topics while the Sadbres played not tough against the Flyers. (Note to Darcy: Just because there's a fight, it doesn't mean you played tough.)

Ok, so we mostly talked about basketball. Discussing the Sabres for more than 30 seconds gives us anxiety attacks at this point. But there are other reasons to listen too. We briefly discuss the brawl at the World Baseball Classic. Our ol' pal, Joe, stops by (he writes for a different blog, I can't remember what it's called). And there are highlights of our Rockupation of the Prudential Center last Thursday.

All in all… it's pretty mediocre.

But hey, it's Tuesday! What the hell else do you have to do?

Download here or here or just stream directly below.

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Hockey & Friends & Drinking & Stuff is Fun

3/7/2013

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Now you're in Neeeeeewark! These streets have an 8 pm cuuuurfew, I hope you know kuuung-fu!

The Scizz

The Buffalo Sabres play in New Jersey tonight. I live in Hoboken, New Jersey, only a short path train ride away. Therefore, I am going to watch the Buffalo Sabres in New Jersey tonight. Simple, right?

Not really. I almost wasn't going. In fact, with my contempt towards the Buffalo Sabres' players and organization at an all-time high I had decided that unless a friend of mine could hook me up with with free or heavily discounted tickets, then I was going to sit this one out. The reasoning was simple really; I'm attempting to horde all the money I can for my wedding and honeymoon in June, I'm coming up on a huge moment in my personal career that has me working crazy long hours, and to be completely honest, this team gives me weekly aneurysms, so why should I give a shit?

Then a couple of days ago a little voice inside my head said, "Hey, you miserable sonuvabitch! You like HOCKEY! You love it actually! GO! You know what else? You love hanging out with your friends AND watching hockey! You know what else you like even more? Hanging out with your friends, drinking heavily on a weeknight, AAAAAAAAND WATCHING HOCKEY!!!!"

The voice inside my head (let's call him Bookshelf Jr.) was totally accurate in his assumptions. I DO love all those things! (Except this Frank guy that's coming, I really hate him) So I went on ticketmaster, found a seat near the rest of the DGWU crew (& friends), ponied up a measly $33 bucks and now I'll be on my way to what will be a fun-filled night with old friends, new friends, and probably a couple of other randos I barely know (and again, Frank).

What's my point? Well besides being excited for tonight and not feeling motivated at work whatsoever, that's a given. I believe it would be to just enjoy sports as best you can even though #becauseitsbuffalo is a constant hashtag in our lives of sporting sadness (which coincidentally will be the name of the MLS expansion franchise in Buffalo). I have found myself miserable from sports way too often the last few years, and rightfully so, but sometimes you have to push through all that shit and just have fun because that's the point, isn't it? I like to think it is. I also hope this rambling stream of consciousness makes sense.

So bring it on Devils fans, bring it on Sabres under-achievers, and bring it on 5 am Friday wake-up because I'm ready for anything you throw at me!

Wait....Enroth is starting? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

eight scotches deep

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Adventures in Journalism!

5/29/2012

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Professional Blowhard

The Barrister

It sure has been a while since I dusted off my gloves and took the media to task for its latest absurdity in the sports world. Sometimes, these venomous hit jobs are directed at The Network - an easy enough target, what with the willingness to sit on apparent evidence of child molestation at Syracuse, only to run the story without even giving the authorities the opportunity to vet that evidence and find that, in sum, it was demonstrably false. And sometimes, these hit jobs are directed at Buffalo sports media - also an easy target, what with the spelling errors, the apparent desire to merely yuk it up with a failing, entrenched hockey coach and the pathetic derision of a blogger community which has arguably provided better and more insightful sports analysis over the past couple years. (Not here at the Deeg, of course. We are more than happy to be the slime scraped out of the bottom of the barrel, presented as food for your more carnal cravings. It's what we do.)

One of the things I've noticed about Buffalo sports fans is that they can tend to believe that their town is getting jobbed at every opportunity. It's certainly no surprise, given the history, but it can leave people with a lingering sense that, in essence, whatever we get in Buffalo is a class below what everyone else gets in other cities. Sports teams? Inferior from top to bottom. Local theater and music? Undeveloped and of poor quality. Government? Corrupt and ineffective in a way unseen throughout America. Schools? Underfunded and forgotten. Cheerleaders? Sixes instead of tens. (This one may be right).

Some of this is true. In many ways, other cities do have it better. In a lot of ways, though, Buffalo has the exact same problems as other cities, but has convinced itself that the grass is greener in New York City, in Boston, in D.C., in Philly. I've found this to be especially true when it comes to how we digest our local sports media in Western New York. There always seems to be a lingering sense that Bucky and Harrington and Hamilton and Sully are on a lower tier than the guys who cover sports in the big markets. With the internet, though, we can verify that this is simply not true, and never was this more apparent to me than during the post-game presser following last Friday's Rangers-Devils Game 6.

Dear God, it was brutal.

So, in keeping with the overlap between "media hit piece" and "mailing it in," here is the transcript of the questions asked to Rangers coach John Tortorella following Game 6. My thoughts are in italics.

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Infinite Sadness - Early Summer Laments

5/25/2012

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Sad. And adorable.

The Barrister & The Scizz

It was a rainy, misty, shitty day in New York City on Thursday. The perfect setting for our second installment of Infinite Sadness, one of the peripheral cogs in the Deeg Podcast Industries. Scizz, still sitting in the solitude of his sobriety, and I, still sitting in my own sweat and overworked misery, got together via Skype to discuss some of the more recent sports news that makes us infinitely sad.

While the arc of our conversation is often tangential, we touch on the NHL playoffs and how it's been to watch hockey suddenly get big in the big market of NYC, and then have a reflective discussion on how unsurprised we are to see that the Buffalo Sabres have not invited us and our stockpile of dick jokes to attend next month's Blogger Summit. Hint: It's Scizz's fault. Second Hint: It's also Alex Sulzer's fault.

This was a ton of fun to make, as always, and includes musical interludes from Incubus, Ben Folds Five and Biggie Smalls. Enjoy by streaming or downloading below.

Cheers.

infinite_sadness_-_early_summer_laments.mp3
File Size:	31707 kb
File Type:	mp3

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Still Standing

1/25/2012

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Fist pump this

The Scizz

I'm going to keep this one short because 1) I'm sick. 2) I have very limited time to write this. 3) Even after a win, it is difficult to write about this Buffalo Sabres team.

I attended last's night OT shootout win against the also struggling New Jersey Devils, and much like I did last time I visited the Prudential Center, these are my thoughts from the game. Please note, just like the previous post, I have not checked box scores, watched any highlights, or spoke to anybody about the game besides those I attended with, so some of this might seem way off the mark. However, I don't get to see many games out here in tri-state, so suck it up and keep reading.

There are a few facts about last night that I must start with. First off, the seats were free. Otherwise, I probably would not have paid to watch this team, because, as you all know, they are dumpsters on skates. Next, the seats were very good. I don't mention this to brag (ok, maybe a little), but rather to point out that I normally don't sit this close to the ice, and some of the observations I'm about to make were possible because of the location. I would have taken pictures to show you where I was, but naturally I forgot my camera, and my cell phone is from 1976 and lacks clear picture technology. Finally, I missed a good portion of the game. The person in our group who had the seats didn't get out of work until 7pm, so we sat down with only five minutes left in the first period, and during the third period, none of the members of my party had eaten since lunch, so we enjoyed most of the third period from the "Goal Bar". Clever name, huh? We could still see the ice from this spot, but I will admit that I was slightly distracted. Moving on to "mail it in" format.

-As mentioned before, I sat down at right about the 5 minute mark, and immediately saw Matt Ellis fire the puck up the ice to Gerbe, who in turn put it in front of the net for Jordan Leopold. I believe this is what happened, as I said, I have not watched highlights or checked box scores. At first, I thought Ellis had skated down and put a rebound in, which of course sent me into a frenzy, but I quickly realized my mistake. Either way, in my first live game with the new Ellis jersey on, seeing him get a point that quickly had me in a pretty good mood.

-Which brings me back to Matt Ellis. Everyone is probably sick of me talking about him, but I will say one honest thing about him. He falls down a lot. I mean, A LOT. It isn't Michael Ryan levels yet, but when he digs for pucks he throws his body into so much that the poor guy just topples over. Noticed a good amount of this last night.

-Ville Leino is SOFT. I recognize that he is having an awful season and looks like one of the biggest FA busts in recent memory, but seeing him up close really revealed the problem. He looks like he is warming up before a pick-up game with a bunch of his buddies. Nothing but half-ass skating to pucks, lazy passes, and slow decision making. GARBAGE. It is so obvious that he flat out doesn't give a shit. I hope he proves all of us wrong, and it is nothing more than a mega slump, but I doubt it. He is the NHL's Mike James. (Kudos to the NBA fans that get that hysterical, yet spot on reference)

-And while I'm on the topic of Leino, how infuriating is it to see him skate with Stafford and Boyes. It's the "Oh hey, we all make $4 million a year, and if you combine our stats it equals what our individual production SHOULD be". Every time I see them on the ice together I pray for the world's first, triple lightning strike into an indoor arena. Put Weber and Sekera on the ice and let's make it a five-way.

-Derek Roy needs to be traded for the sole purpose of keeping members of the Deeg out of jail. Watching him turn the puck over, get pushed to the ice over and over, and taking absolutely ridiculous penalties that cost your team games is enough to make me....I won't even say it for future legal reasons. Trade him now, Darcy. For anything. Do the right thing.

-Luke Adam was beyond winded every single time he finished a shift. I'm wondering if his cut in minutes has anything to do with conditioning. He started the year on the top line and has seen his minutes dwindle down, so maybe the young guy is having a hard time adjusting to the full-time NHL schedule. Or maybe Lindy has no idea what he is doing anymore with all of his constant line changesAHTHANKYOUVERYMUCH!

-Why all the negative? The Sabres did win after all! Alright, so on to the things I liked....

-Ryan Miller looked solid. Again, maybe at home he looked pedestrian, but in comparison to the last time I watched him in Jersey, he appeared much more confident; like old school Miller who owned the Ice and could take over a game. I have no clue whose fault the first goal was, but he dominated in the shootout after getting beat by Kovalchuck.

-Nathan Gerbe and Jason Pominville are incredible to watch right now. I think both are taking these losses personally and it has been fueling them to go 'run-through-a-brick-wall' hard. Gerbe always skates hard, but you can tell the little guy REALLY hates to lose, and unlike other douchebags who appear unfazed (Stafford, Roy, Leino, Boyes, almost everybody else on the roster), he is taking it in his hands to motivate this team to play harder, just like he did in last year's 2nd half stretch. Pominville on the other hand, must be so fed up with being a captain that nobody responds to that he has taken it upon himself to do EVERYTHING. Including Vanek, nobody was looked better in a Sabres uniform than Pommers during these losses. I understand that isn't saying much, and it definitely is not a good thing that the team is most likely not responding to their captain, but at least he isn't giving up either. (I'm looking at you Rivet.) So how fitting was it that the two goals needed to win the game came from these two?

-At the start of the second period, my buddy Bill, who is not a big hockey fan, turned and asked me who the Sabres best player was. Without hesitation I blurted out "Thomas Vanek. Number 26. He's on the ice now." That is the first time in many seasons where that answer was not an immediate "Ryan Miller". Yes, it is obvious right now, but it's just odd to vocalize that for the first time....ever. Here's hoping this game catapults our goalie back to #1.

-The Christian Ehrhoff deal is not a bust. I was one of the first people to cast stones at him for his defensive liabilities, but the weeks leading to his concussion, and now the subsequent games that have followed, have shown me that he cares about winning and at many times looks like the best defender on the ice. I believe this will be one FA signing that Terry Pegula will not regret.

-Finally, if you were wondering how the wings were at the "Goal Bar", let me just tell you they may be the best tasting arena wings I've ever had. With that being said, they are also the smallest wings I have ever had in my life. It was seriously comical. An order of half a dozen wings from Buffalo is probably bigger in mass than an entire bucket of these things. Tiny in stature, but they packed a punch. I called them Gerbe wings! Get it?!? See what I did there? Alright, I'm a fucking idiot so I'll shut up now.

Until next time, follow me on twitter @TheScizz, enjoy the worthless NHL All-Star game, and let's all hope and pray that this win gives these underachievers the spark they need. Go Sabres.

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"Gotta Support The Team" - My First Sabres Game of the Year

12/29/2011

1 Comment

Not surprisingly, I saw none of this last night.

The Scizz

Living in the tri-state area, I don't get many chances to see my "beloved" Sabres play live, so when the opportunity arises, I usually jump on it. When I lived among the five boroughs of NYC, it was usually just for Ranger games at the Garden, and occasionally a road trip out to Nassau or the Meadowlands. However, since becoming the only member of the Deeg to move over the water to Hoboken, NJ, the trip to Newark for Devils games has become much easier. So on Wednesday night, accompanied by the Scizzette's father (a Devils fan), I ventured out to see the Sabres play live for the first time this season.

These are my observations from the game. I have not looked at any stat lines, read any recaps, watched highlights, or even discussed the game with any members of the blogopolis. This is what I saw and the thoughts that followed. You forget how different it is watching live when you don't get many opportunities to do so. Also, I had a lot to drink last night, so some of my recollections are a bit fuzzy. Actually, I remember very little of the so-called "important hockey details". That's what happens when you have a Peroni, Sixpoint Smoked Baltic Porter, Sixpoint Diesel, Coney Island Mermaid Pilsner, two large Stella's, a Ramstein wheat beer, and finally an Elmer T. Lee bourbon as a nightcap. Thank God for Barcade's meat and cheese plate, otherwise I might not be standing right now. Blogger row credentials, here I come!

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First-Glance Expat Thoughts on the Sabres Regular Season Schedule

6/23/2011

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Holy shit balls I am excited.

The Barrister

OH MAN! Hockey is coming back! We have the schedule to prove it!

I know a lot of folks are wrapped up in hopes and dreams for what T-Pegs, Teddy Black and Darcy 2.0 are going to come up with in the NHL Draft this weekend, but the fan in me (i.e. the guy with little to no time or desire to learn about the Muppet Babies I probably won't see on the HSBC ice until 2014 or so) is always more excited about the schedule being released. Calendars are marked, the first seeds of gameday plans are planted, roadtrips contemplated and, for those expats in NYC, six dates become non-negotiable. Each year for the past 6, I've made an effort to make as many of the six local Sabres games (two each against the Devils, Isles and Rangers). A couple years ago I was a perfect six for six, and it was glorious. Last year, I scaled back to 4 out of 6, including one late arrival to the Prudential Center, clad in a pin-striped suit with Miller jersey underneath... never had I been more confident in my own douchebaggery. Many of those games involved great groups of transplanted Sabre fans - the eight of us who met in lower Manhattan to take the PATH out to Newark, only to find another three dozen fans in our section, ready to cheer our boys on to an early-season win against a pathetic Devils team; or the eleven of us who sat in the back row of the upper deck at MSG, right behind a row of 18-22 year old Ranger fans from Long Island who were good-humored when we made fun of their accents and scathingly asked them why they didn't follow the Islanders, and who didn't get bothered by our "We Got a Point" chants, echoed on our way out after the eventual overtime defeat; or the small City Honors crew that drove out to Hempstead armed with nothing more than Four Lokos (the original, dangerous kind! woohoo!) and a dream, and left with a hangover and memories of a disgusting loss to the Islanders in regulation.

As fun as it was, what bothered me a lot about the Sabres schedule last year was that the Tri-State area games were realy jammed into the first half of the season. The Rangers game on March 1st was the latest game in the season, and no other games came after late January. Indeed, both of the Devils games (by far my favorite to go to, given prices and cleanliness of the arena....*cough* *cough* *thecoliseumisashithole*) were within the first twenty games of the season. In hindsight, my annoyance with the situation was really due to the fact that the Sabres turned it on late, and I had no real opportunity to see them during that run. But, more to the point, games late in the season always matter more, so it's nice to see that this year's schedule is a little kinder to us fans in NYC. Actually, taking a look at the schedule, the Hockey Gods are indeed smiling down upon me and the DGWU Crew.

What immediately jumps out at me, as implied above, is that the sequence of NYC area games does not begin until December 28th when the Sabres visit NJ. The five local games that follow come at a pretty steady clip thereafter, with the biggest gap between games coming between the February 25th and March 23rd tilts against the Rags at MSG. Down the stretch, my wishes have been answered, and I'll have plenty of opportunities to see our boys as they make a push for the playoffs.

Also bringing great joy to me is the fact that all four Rangers and Islanders games are on weekends. This will be particularly helpful for those trips out to the Island since (a) getting there is a HUGE hassle (honestly, how Charles Wang has not figured this out is beyond me...you've got 9 million people in the five boroughs, some of whom like hockey and most of whom have no car...you're an idiot for not arranging more streamlined access to games...though, fuck it, the list of idiot things you do is mind-bogglingly long); and (b) my dream remains to rock a party bus - complete with booze and bumpin 80s rock - to take a crew of Sabres fans out to a game in Uniondale. THIS IS THE YEAR. Now vested with the true force of DGWU, I am confident we make this happen.

You know how Canes fans complain about expats invading RBC? We're taking that as a challenge...the gauntlet has been laid, and The Scizz, Yachter, Aps and me are up to the task. And, as you all know, we can be huge, drunken assholes. This much is clear.

Yeah! Lick a taint Isles fans!

As for non-expat-related musings, there are certain things about the schedule that are both bothersome and intriguing. After the Sabres come back from Europe, they get one home game, then four away, and then five back home. While that road trip is not awful, I imagine that it will be a big test for the team in terms of keeping their fitness up after so much travel. Then again, after the road successes last year, including the sense that the team bonded during those trips, we could be looking at a very cohesive unit after those first few weeks.

Also of note are the west coast teams that the Sabres play twice - Detroit, CBJ and Ducks. We lucked out on these - while two of these teams were in the playoffs, I find that the Sabres generally play to a pretty high level against the Ducks and Wings, and those Ducks games always involve a weird and unexpected amount of bad blood. The Blue Jackets games, we can assume, will be the kind of "easy" games that the Sabres manage to blow, but I'll hold out hope for at least the split.

An absurd part of the schedule looks to be the road trip in January, following a home -and-home (though not back-to-back nights) with the Maple Leafs. Those seven games away from home - starting @ Islanders on 1/14, and then continuing through Detroit, Chicago, Winnipeg (!!!), St. Louis, New Jersey and Montreal - should be a doozy, even if geographically logical with respect to route. Five of those seven games are in the span of eight days, with the sixth coming a mere three nights later. The seventh, a week after that, wilI, I imagine, be broken up by a stop back in the 'Lo before the team heads to meet the Canadiens. We at DGWU look forward to attending two of the games on that roadtrip, so it should be a fun and anxiety-producing time.

Looking further ahead, chronologically as I must with my limited ability to multi-task as I coast through the end of my work day (which doesn't mean I'm leaving any time soon, mind you), February looks to be a great month for home games - 9 out of 12, in fact. With Presidents' Day weekend in the middle of the month, one or both of the games on the weekend of February 17th - either the Friday night vs. the Habs and/or the Sunday afternoon Hockey Day in America game against the Penguins - look to be the prime targets for a DGWU Road Trip to HSBC. I went to the Hockey Day game last year - hooked up with NBC broadcast passes, actually - against the Caps, and it was a fun time. While I doubt I'll have the Harbor Club access I did then, the holiday weekend will be a prime opportunity for us to act like drunken assholes without fear of having some dirtbag stick a shiv into our kidneys.

NYC is rough, yo.

The Yachtsman preparing for a trip to MSG. Make sure to remember to sharpen that blade, buddy.

Finally, it goes without saying that the end of the season scares the crap out of me. Good lord, the NHL really did it with that last stretch. I commend them for seeking out a series of great matchups, but it doesn't make me fear it any less. Consider these, the last 14 games of the season:

Starting with three divisional games in five nights, this stretch of games will end up being one of the keys to the team's success. Indeed, of the last fourteen, six are against divisional opponents. Throw in late-season games @ the Rangers and Lightning, both of whom look to be contenders in the East next year (or at least fighting for playoff position), and then a five game stretch to end the season against three favorites to win the East plus the second home and home of the season against the Leafs...well, you get the point. Frankly, I love that we get so many hated rivals to finish the year - the level of hate I have for the Penguins, Leaves, Flyers, Rangers, Canadies and Bruins is astonishing. Really, I ought to be more focused in my loathing, but I have enough to go around. Believe me.

So, there you have it. The Scizz may add an addendum to this post, since I sort of stole it from him, but I think it's pretty clear that this season is going to be EPIC for the DGWU Crew and all Buffalo Expats in NYC. There's a certain beauty in being the jackass road fan who invased another team's arena, and I am really looking forward to making our mark on the Concrete Jungle yet again.