Tom the Cat needs a home.

The Yachtsman

DISCLAIMER: I've lost this post once to the shitty inner workings of Weebly. Trust me the first one was so much better than this. Apologies.

Also, I am not a cat person. I have always been a card carrying dog person. I've always been a huge fan of animals, but the ones who give uninterrupted constant streams of outrageous affection are my hands down favorite. Hence, my relationship with my extremely excitable pit bull is one of the great man/dog friendships of all time (time in accordance with my understanding of it). So this story is extremely anomalous to me as a person...enjoy and then help me adopt this little guy to a good home when you're done reading:

Tom, the Cat.

A few days ago as I was walking home from work, a cat poked his head through the bushes and meowed at me. I stopped to give him a hi-five, then went along my way. After three steps I realized the poor guy was meowing for food, and seeing as how it was going to rain, my guilt wheels started to churn in overdrive. Five minutes later, I picked Tom up, meows of protest and all, and brought him back to our apartment. I built him a little hutch in our backyard to keep him from getting eaten by our Pit Bull and to protect him from the rain. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning to Tom in our bushes, bleary eyed and a little wet. Clearly the hutch was not his jam. The rain held off for the day, so I left Tom in our backyard with some food and water, and went to work. When I returned, he was patrolling the yard with diligence and looking a little less further from death's door than he had been the night before.

Officer Tom.

I took him to the vet after a night's rest, and the vet looked at him the same way I did when I first met him: this cat is toast. She gave me the option of running a littany of expensive tests or making him "comfortable". As I tend to do, I chose the more difficult route. Thankfully, the tests (worms/fleas/mites/Feline AIDS/Leukemia) all came back negative. The diagnosis was Tom was a former house cat (neutered but not catch & release tagged) who was abandoned and didn't know how to fend for himself on the street (hence the skin and bones appearance). Regular feeding and water would have him back to healthy weight (he's 8.9 lbs - 4-5 lbs. underweight). Fast forward to 10 cans of Organic Protein Health Newman's Own, a litter box, and a water dish....Tom the Cat was a temporary member of the Yacht Club.

Tom the Cat, perusing the merchandise.

For the past 2 days, Tom has been living in our bathroom. The door is secure and it properly sequesters Tom for when our dog Scout wants to frolic and try to hump anything that comes within a four foot radius of her. Unfortunately, since Tom is a cat, Scout desperately wants to eat Tom more than anything on the face of the earth. This does not make for an ideal situation in which to bring Tom back to optimum feline performance. Therefore, dear readers, we (the Yachtswoman, myself, and the rest of the crew here at DGWU) need your help. Tom needs a home!

Cuddle King.

Here's some vitall information about Tom: He's neutered. He loves to sleep and cuddle. He enjoys cat food, water, and digging holes in giant bags of dog food. He hasn't been grooming himself until just recently, so he's dirty (result of being malnourished). It will take him a few weeks before his weight will be up enough to take a bath. He enjoys the musical stylings of The Misfits, but is not too fond of anything else I played for him. Again, he loves to sleep. He does not have worms, fleas, mites, etc. He is FHIV/Leukemia free. He's middle aged, so he's much more cuddly than he is playful. He listens to commands, sort of. When he was digging into the food bag and I said "stop" he did. When he doesn't like something he meows loudly or hisses, but doesn't swipe. If he REALLY doesn't like something he'll thump his back paw....which is sort of hilarious (holy shit I'm starting to sound like a cat person). Conversely, he started purring for the first time today, which was great.

Bottom Line: Tom is a great guy. He's cuddlesome and is in some real need of TLC. We at the Yacht Club would take him in permanently, but since we adopted a tail wagging, pooping, peeing, humping, drooling, licking, 60 lb Pit a few years back, there's no way we can keep him. Sequestering two animals is no fun for us, and especially not for the animals. We are looking to get Tom a good home with lots of warmth, food, happiness, and enough soft cushiony space for him to curl up and go to sleep on.

What a guy!

If you're interested in Tom, or can help us get Tom a good home, please contact me via email at [email protected] or via my Twitter account, @Y_vo

We are willing to drive Tom to a reasonable location on the East Coast, and will provide a cage, the rest of our cat litter, several cans of super expensive cat food, debt, gratitude, and high praise to whomever takes him in and gives him a good home. I'll also provide you with his vet records and info as well. Please help this cuddlefucker get a good home to sleep in!