DISCLAIMER: I've lost this post once to the shitty inner workings of Weebly. Trust me the first one was so much better than this. Apologies.
Also, I am not a cat person. I have always been a card carrying dog person. I've always been a huge fan of animals, but the ones who give uninterrupted constant streams of outrageous affection are my hands down favorite. Hence, my relationship with my extremely excitable pit bull is one of the great man/dog friendships of all time (time in accordance with my understanding of it). So this story is extremely anomalous to me as a person...enjoy and then help me adopt this little guy to a good home when you're done reading:
Bottom Line: Tom is a great guy. He's cuddlesome and is in some real need of TLC. We at the Yacht Club would take him in permanently, but since we adopted a tail wagging, pooping, peeing, humping, drooling, licking, 60 lb Pit a few years back, there's no way we can keep him. Sequestering two animals is no fun for us, and especially not for the animals. We are looking to get Tom a good home with lots of warmth, food, happiness, and enough soft cushiony space for him to curl up and go to sleep on.
We are willing to drive Tom to a reasonable location on the East Coast, and will provide a cage, the rest of our cat litter, several cans of super expensive cat food, debt, gratitude, and high praise to whomever takes him in and gives him a good home. I'll also provide you with his vet records and info as well. Please help this cuddlefucker get a good home to sleep in!