Swag.
El Yachtero
"If the #bills let stevie walk and get no one better than manningham I will, in fact, turn in my fan card and root for someone else"
- @matthew1stewart, of BuffaloWins and some fucking blog I wasn't invited to, on twitter discussing the impending Stevie Johnson "issue" at One Bills Drive.
"A league source told The Buffalo News that Johnson isn’t expecting to receive the franchise tag from the Bills, and despite swapping contract proposals recently the two sides are far apart on negotiations. The franchise tag option hasn’t been discussed during negotiations with Johnson, the source told The News."
- Rodney McKissic on TBN's "BillBoard" blog.
So the latest we have on Stevie Johnson is that there is no latest. But realistically, the fact that there is no latest and we have to wait until the combine to get the latest and by that time the latest will probably not be the greatest, but the worst, I'll just start the assumptions here: Stevie isn't going to be a Buffalo Bill next year. The fans back home don't enjoy the swag, the coach doesn't enjoy the penalties, and the bank doesn't enjoy the expenditure.
Ugh.
Weakest.
Ever.
"If the #bills let stevie walk and get no one better than manningham I will, in fact, turn in my fan card and root for someone else"
- @matthew1stewart, of BuffaloWins and some fucking blog I wasn't invited to, on twitter discussing the impending Stevie Johnson "issue" at One Bills Drive.
"A league source told The Buffalo News that Johnson isn’t expecting to receive the franchise tag from the Bills, and despite swapping contract proposals recently the two sides are far apart on negotiations. The franchise tag option hasn’t been discussed during negotiations with Johnson, the source told The News."
- Rodney McKissic on TBN's "BillBoard" blog.
So the latest we have on Stevie Johnson is that there is no latest. But realistically, the fact that there is no latest and we have to wait until the combine to get the latest and by that time the latest will probably not be the greatest, but the worst, I'll just start the assumptions here: Stevie isn't going to be a Buffalo Bill next year. The fans back home don't enjoy the swag, the coach doesn't enjoy the penalties, and the bank doesn't enjoy the expenditure.
Ugh.
Weakest.
Ever.
Mic Drop.
This is one of those classic Buffalo problems that drove me from bitching to my girlfriend about things she doesn't care about to lamenting (infrequently) on a page. There is not a dollar amount the Bills can pay that will be "too much" for Stevie Johnson. Insane, you say? Well, let me attempt to rebut you:
The "Too Much Money" Argument:
- First......is it your money? No. The Buffalo Bills exist to win football games and championships, and have...throughout their mediocre history....demonstrated an inability to compete (think about it.....yes......I'm right). Stevie Johnson puts them in the unique position of being able to have a #1 WR without having to defy the odds to get one. They have been worse than inept this past decade, so attracting talent via Free Agency (of which, truly, there aren't any good free agents) or drafting immediate impact talent (of which they have yet to prove to me they are even capable of understanding how to evaluate talent). The cost of overcoming these two drastic flaws within the organization is frankly priceless. However, the market has done a wonderful job of putting a price tag on priceless...right around the $8-10 million mark. SO THAT'S WRAPPED UP NICELY FOR YOU RALPH. Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather be the useless prick who cheers for a team of underpaid shitty no talent hacks than a team with a guy who may be overvalued by a few million dollars but at the end of the day allows your offense to look serviceably competent despite the lack of talent surrounding him? You WOULD like to be that useless prick? Kindly drown yourself.
The "He's Too Flashy/The Terrell Owens Problem" Argument:
- This argument aggressively burns my taint. Yes, he tweets inappropriate things to whatever diety the majority of you believe exists. Yes, he gets celebratory penalties that cost us yardage which can loosely be translated into games if you really want to make a horrendously weak and lazy reach. Yes, he made a truly tasteless yet awesome dig at Plaxico Burress in one of his celebrations. (SIDENOTE: um, that was fucking HILARIOUS, beeteedubs. THE GUY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE LEG AFTER HE PUT A PISTOL IN HIS OWN SWEATPANTS WAISTBAND. Literally acres of unintentional comedy there, and Stevie simply had the audacity to harvest his own little plot. This is NFL Football, not the fucking League of Nations.) Off the field I'm pretty sure all he does is play video games, tweet, and get tattooed while having his hair cut interestingly. The 90s Bills were notorious alcoholics who probably played a Superbowl drunk, but they're sainted because......Thurman lost his helmet? UGH WHATEVER GET OVER IT. /good argument.
The "Too Much Money" Argument:
- First......is it your money? No. The Buffalo Bills exist to win football games and championships, and have...throughout their mediocre history....demonstrated an inability to compete (think about it.....yes......I'm right). Stevie Johnson puts them in the unique position of being able to have a #1 WR without having to defy the odds to get one. They have been worse than inept this past decade, so attracting talent via Free Agency (of which, truly, there aren't any good free agents) or drafting immediate impact talent (of which they have yet to prove to me they are even capable of understanding how to evaluate talent). The cost of overcoming these two drastic flaws within the organization is frankly priceless. However, the market has done a wonderful job of putting a price tag on priceless...right around the $8-10 million mark. SO THAT'S WRAPPED UP NICELY FOR YOU RALPH. Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather be the useless prick who cheers for a team of underpaid shitty no talent hacks than a team with a guy who may be overvalued by a few million dollars but at the end of the day allows your offense to look serviceably competent despite the lack of talent surrounding him? You WOULD like to be that useless prick? Kindly drown yourself.
The "He's Too Flashy/The Terrell Owens Problem" Argument:
- This argument aggressively burns my taint. Yes, he tweets inappropriate things to whatever diety the majority of you believe exists. Yes, he gets celebratory penalties that cost us yardage which can loosely be translated into games if you really want to make a horrendously weak and lazy reach. Yes, he made a truly tasteless yet awesome dig at Plaxico Burress in one of his celebrations. (SIDENOTE: um, that was fucking HILARIOUS, beeteedubs. THE GUY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE LEG AFTER HE PUT A PISTOL IN HIS OWN SWEATPANTS WAISTBAND. Literally acres of unintentional comedy there, and Stevie simply had the audacity to harvest his own little plot. This is NFL Football, not the fucking League of Nations.) Off the field I'm pretty sure all he does is play video games, tweet, and get tattooed while having his hair cut interestingly. The 90s Bills were notorious alcoholics who probably played a Superbowl drunk, but they're sainted because......Thurman lost his helmet? UGH WHATEVER GET OVER IT. /good argument.
"A for effort, Yachter!....but let's be honest we all know you can do better. LLAP."
I'm going to go with Stewart on this one. I don't think I'll be able to root for this team if they let Stevie walk. I have a great girlfriend, a hilarious dog, wonderful friends, an overpriced yet lovely apartment, and a great job. Why should I let the brain drain at One Bills Drive put a damper on all that? I've asked that question year in and year out. Finally, I have an answer: if they don't demonstrate a commitment to winning, I'm not going to demonstrate a commitment to watching. Simple. Let Stevie walk, and I'm done. No more Bills for me. Kneejerk? No, not really. It's been brewing for years.
Let us know what you're going to do in the commentariat.
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Let us know what you're going to do in the commentariat.
Follow me on the twitoscope.
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