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CrapTastiMania! with Joe and Barrister

6/4/2014

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Hosted by Joe from Buffalo Wins, this synergistic podcast is focused on the Bills news of the day - namely Marcell Dareus, Jerry Hughes and their fast cars, and how we feel about #99 given his recent arrests and their closeness in time. We ramble and rant and ultimately get to talking about the future of the Bills and what kind of legacy we're wading through following Ralph Wilson's death.

Stream below. iTunes link below. Download here or here. RSS feed for all DGWU Sports podcasts here. 

Music from Wu Tang, Bloc Party and Gnarls Barkley. Cheers.

- The Barrister

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You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude.

11/5/2011

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The Scizz

I started with a cheap shot foot joke at Rex Ryan this week. So what? I don't want to be original. I want to be a mean spirited guy that makes fun of other's shortcomings, so I say fuck him and his clogged arteries. I WANT VICTORY!!! 

In my week 9 Bills preview, I have decided to very simply break down all the things I LOVE about the Bills so far this year and HATE about the Jets. After last week's performance, the Bills deserve no animosity from me, however, that could all change this week BECAUSE IF THEY LOSE TO THE JETS I WILL DISOWN THEM AS A FRANCHISE AND MOVE TO CANADA! NOTHING LESS WILL BE ACCEPTED AAAAAAHHHH RAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOORM I HATE THE JETS!!!!

Before I blow a gasket, let me count the ways I adore the 2011  Buffalo Bills:

1. Fred Jackson is arguably the best running back in the NFL this season and should be a legitimate early MVP contender. Of course Aaron Rodgers, Calvin Johnson, and Patrick Willis are getting all of the attention, as well they should be, but blowhards on the radio and ESPN are talking up Eli FUCKING Manning as an early candidate. Just stop. Seriously.

Jackson has already rushed for 721 yards, with 1074 yards from scrimmage in ONLY SEVEN GAMES! Toss in a 5.5 yards per carry average and 6 TD's and that's pretty fucking incredible. The only other RB's that even touch him this year are AP (Vikings suck), and Matt Forte (Mike Martz). As mentioned on this week's CrapTastiCast, Freddie is by far the best RB this team has had since Thurman, and the organization needs to lock him up NOW! If the team makes the playoffs, hence lifting my ban of purchasing Bills merchandise, #22 is an easy purchase....after he extends his contract.

2. Marcell Dareus is going to be a beast for years to come. Yachtsman touched on this earlier in the week, so I won't exhaust it, but JESUS H. CHRIST did you see him move out there last Sunday? I don't give a shit if it was the Redskins or any other team, franchise players dominate bad teams. That's what he did, and I want to kiss him on the mouth. Picture that....go ahead, do it. You know you want to.

3. The collective of random players making big plays is mind blowing. Fitzy and Stevie Johnson have become quite the impressive combo, but how about Scott Chandler and his 6 Touchdowns? How did Chan and Buddy find this guy? CHANDLAARS!!!!

Throw in David Nelson, Naaman Roosevelt, George Wilson, Kirk Morrison, Bryan Scott, and I could keep going. Gotta love the Goonies.

4. The offensive line is the most ridiculously over-achieving group of players I have ever seen. Even with Demetrius Bell resting, the group has created a fortress of solitude around the Amish Rifle, the likes of which no one has seen in Buffalo since 1994. 

Can you name all the starters? Here they are: Andy Levitre, Jim Richter, Mike Ludders, Fred Dukes, and a marble pillar. The more you know.
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SMART
Now onto the Jets hate. Fuck 'em.

1. The fans (for the most part) are cut from the mold of satan's asshole. Besides a few close friends who know football, it is next to impossible to have intelligent conversations with these monsters. Every time I travel to the Meadowlands or watch football in New York, I get Johnny Pepperoni and big Sal telling me how great the Jets are,  and how the Bills and everybody else in the NFL suck, despite them only knowing that Mark Sanchez is their QB, Rex Ryan is the coach, and bunch of black guys they would normally hate are the rest of the team. Yes, I'm calling many of them racist. Head to the Meadowlands, you'll see.

Remember how much these guys loved Eric Mangini? The Mangenius? Remember all of the shit talking these fuckheads did when he was the coach? Another rage storm approaching....

The worst part is that this fat fuck Rex Ryan has bumped up their sense of accomplishment. I don't mind fans being confident in their team, BUT ONLY IF THEY CAN BACK IT UP!!!! If you can't name the starting defense or even know the name of your coordinators, then get the fuck away from me and go back to watching Soprano's re-runs and talking about how you could beat up Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Uh oh.....RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!!!!
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This Deeg interlude brought to you by a crying, steroid fueled d-bag

Alright, I"m better now. I swear. Deeeeeeeeeeeep breath, and here we go:

2. Darrelle Revis is so fucking good it makes me angry. I'm not sure how to justify this, but the guy is the game changing coverage corner that I have always wanted the Bills to find. Having him on the field gives the Jets an insane boost, no matter who they are playing. I WANT HIM ON MY TEAM GOD DAMMIT! Oh wait, we have Leodis. Joy.

3. Mark Sanchez is slightly better than Trent Dilfer. He is not a star QB. He is a good looking asshole who knows how and when to say the right things, but as a player he does "just enough". The reason that Baltimore won a Super Bowl in 2001 was their defense and running game, and that's how the Jets manage to succeed (although the running game has struggled the last couple of seasons). Trent Dilfer's job was to not screw up; same as the role Sanchez has taken. Sure, he has shown flashes of star power, but overall the guy is mediocre. This isn't a bad thing for the Jets, but the fans, media, and his teammates need to stop treating him like super star. He's no Browning Nagle.

4. I hate Rex Ryan. I hate his fat face. I hate his dumb foot fetish. I hate his loudmouth predictions that nobody holds him accountable for. I hate his doofy smile. I hate his brother. I hate the fact he gave up on his team and talked shit about them, yet when THEY turned it around, he took all of the credit. I hate that he is a known horse rapist. I hate that he laughed when Steve Jobs passed away. I hate that he drinks Cosmopolitans. I hate that he runs a dog fighting ring. And finally, I hate that he never even considered coaching the Bills.

But that no longer matters because Chan is the man! 

Until a blowout loss tomorrow, and then of course I move to Canada and start my new Toronto sports themed blog, Dear Lord, what aboot us, eh? 

(Or enter your own bad Canadian joke here)

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Calmer Than You Are, Dude

9/16/2011

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The Scizz

I guess this is our week two preview of the 2011 Buffalo Bills season, but I'm not sure how much of a real preview it is. If you want your typical pre-game rundown, you can go to forty other Bills sites to get all your links to the same articles and posts about injuries and all that other bullshit. I could care less.

First things first. Everybody needs to calm the fuck down. I was just as excited as anybody else to see the madness that occurred last week, and I'd be a damn liar if I said that it had no effect on my outlook this week, but the Bills are a team that is still a looooooong ways away from making a major impact. I'm not trying to be a purveyor of doom, in fact, I pray to God that I'm wrong and this team cruises to a 11 - 5 season and a wild card birth. But this is still the same exact team that the majority of knowledgeable fans were predicting to go anywhere from 5 - 11 to 8 - 8 only a week ago. This team still has major issues, so sit back, take a deep breath, and R-E-L-A-X.

Are they better than we thought they were? Fuck to the yes. Am I telling you not to enjoy the game Sunday and be feel hopeless? No sir. All I am saying is stop with all this "Chan is taking us to the promise land" Bullshit, or even better, let's lock up Fitzpatrick to a long term deal. I love Fitzy. He is a goddamn gunslinger. He has a beard that makes Brian Wilson jealous (not the beach boy, Mom). He has maybe the greatest nickname in the NFL, "The Amish Rifle". However, Fitz has been anything but consistent in his career. Take a look at his stats from last season.
Passing Rushing
Rk G# Date Age Tm Opp Result GS Cmp Att Cmp% Yds TD Int Rate Y/A AY/A Att Yds Y/A TD
1 3 2010-09-26 27-306 BUF @ NWE L 30-38 * 20 28 71.4% 247 2 2 92.4 8.82 7.04 3 18 6.00 0
2 4 2010-10-03 27-313 BUF NYJ L 14-38 * 12 27 44.4% 128 2 0 83.6 4.74 6.22 7 74 10.57 0
3 5 2010-10-10 27-320 BUF JAX L 26-36 * 20 30 66.7% 220 3 0 121.5 7.33 9.33 2 4 2.00 0
4 6 2010-10-24 27-334 BUF @ BAL L 34-37 * 29 43 67.4% 382 4 2 106.9 8.88 8.65 4 20 5.00 0
5 7 2010-10-31 27-341 BUF @ KAN L 10-13 * 24 48 50.0% 223 1 1 61.4 4.65 4.13 6 43 7.17 0
6 8 2010-11-07 27-348 BUF CHI L 19-22 * 31 51 60.8% 299 1 2 67.4 5.86 4.49 2 9 4.50 0
7 9 2010-11-14 27-355 BUF DET W 14-12 * 12 24 50.0% 146 1 0 83.0 6.08 6.92 1 -1 -1.00 0
8 10 2010-11-21 27-362 BUF @ CIN W 49-31 * 21 34 61.8% 316 4 2 107.0 9.29 9.00 1 11 11.00 0
9 11 2010-11-28 28-004 BUF PIT L 16-19 * 23 45 51.1% 265 1 1 67.4 5.89 5.33 2 4 2.00 0
10 12 2010-12-05 28-011 BUF @ MIN L 14-38 * 15 25 60.0% 158 1 1 75.1 6.32 5.32 4 5 1.25 0
11 13 2010-12-12 28-018 BUF CLE W 13-6 * 14 23 60.9% 142 1 0 93.0 6.17 7.04 4 49 12.25 0
12 14 2010-12-19 28-025 BUF @ MIA W 17-14 * 16 26 61.5% 223 2 1 98.7 8.58 8.38 3 19 6.33 0
13 15 2010-12-26 28-032 BUF NWE L 3-34 * 18 37 48.6% 251 0 3 37.1 6.78 3.14 1 14 14.00 0
13 Games 255 441 57.8% 3000 23 15 81.8 6.80 6.32 40 269 6.73 0
Provided by Pro-Football-Reference.com: View Original Table
Generated 9/16/2011.
Take a look at week 3 and 4. Memorable games where Fitz looked like the man even despite the loss, right? Now look at week 5 and 6, where his numbers dip, and if you remember correctly, the offense was giving fans seizures of frustration with their inability to move the ball. Now remember back to the shellacking they gave Cincy in week 10. The following three weeks, Fitzpatrick was less than impressive. Sure, Buffalo almost won the Pittsburgh game, but the Amish Rifle also made some key mistakes that could have helped Buffalo avoid overtime, and thus the loss. Also keep in mind how awful he looked in week 15 against New England. Still has to face them twice this year.

My point, if not already painfully obvious, is that I think everyone needs to wait a few weeks before we start anointing this guy the next Jim Kelly. As fans, we jumped the gun with Flutie and Johnson. We jumped the gun with Bledsoe. And disgustingly, we jumped the gun with Trent Edwards. Let's all agree to just keep our feet on the ground for a few weeks before we go make some rash decision like trading Philip Rivers straight up for Fitzy in fantasy football, or maybe buying that $300 authentic game-day jersey from the Bills store. Baby steps people, baby steps.

This all brings me to my next point. IF this team continues to over-achieve and win big games, they are doing so IN SPITE of Ralph Wilson, not because of him. When he tries to take credit for any success this team might have this season, fans should drive to his office at One Bills Drive and collectively give him the finger....then drive home and mail him a box of human feces. Take a look at this gem he dropped on the Buffalo News yesterday:

"Buddy and Chan have done a fabulous job in identifying players that have been cut by other teams and working with them," he said. "They're doing a heckuva job. I'll tell you, we wouldn't be where we're at today if we had Buddy 10 years ago."

No shit, Ralph, you senile son-of-a-bitch. Maybe if you had any idea how a professional sports team is run we wouldn't be in this situation. GGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRR! Every time I read that quote I feel like smashing my head through a brick wall. I need scotch, hold on.......
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Back. Now that I'm alcohol infused, I will try to get to the positive crap. After all, we are 1 - 0 and just got done beating a division winner 41 - 7. Not too shabby, and better than any realistic fan could have hoped for. Last week as the DGWU crew gathered in Yachtsman's man-cave, we watched in complete shock as this team looked like the real deal. On several occasions, captain naysayer himself repeated the lines "I don't like this. I'm not supposed to be this happy on Sundays". 

The best thing to come out of the whole game was the sheer effort the entire team put forth. You could see how hard the team was playing on every down. That hasn't been present on a Bills team in years. Dicky J's lackadaisical attitude screwed this team up big time, but now they finally appear to be moving on. Marcell "Biggie Smalls" Dareus and Kyle "random white rapper name" Williams were pushing lineman all over the field, Freddie Jackson tore up the ground like a starting RB should, and the receiving corp, oooooooooh the receiving corp! Fuck Lee Evans. Stevie Johnson is a stud, plain and simple. That is one comment I will not hold back on after that win. Lock that that kid up now. David Nelson is a mini-stud. The 6'5" bad-ass made some fantastic catches and should easily fill my prediction of over 50 catches and 6 TD's.  Finally, Scott Chandler is everything I have hoped and dream of since Pete Metzelaars left, and I'm begging for big things from the waiver wire pick-up.  Again, not getting too excited. everybody remember Mark Campbell's big, three touchdown game? 

This week's home opener should be interesting. Saying that Oakland is a much better team than Kansas City defensively is an understatement. Richard Seymour and Matt Shaughnessy are beasts off the line, and despite no Asomugha this season, veterans Chris Johnson and Michael Huff (if he plays) force QB's to take the secondary seriously.

On offense, Jason Campbell is nothing more than serviceable, but worse QB's have smoked our Bills before. It does help that top threat, Jacoby Ford is ruled out for the game. At least I think he is. I'm too lazy too check. The real problem will come from Darren McFadden and Michael BUSH BUSH BUSH! (Disclaimer: you will only get that last joke if you attended Binghamton University from 1999-2003. So that means maybe three of you)  Both players could give the defense fits. Keep in mind that Buffalo's offense last week allowed their own defense to face mostly pass plays due to K.C. being so far behind. Depsite that, Jamaal Charles still gained 56 yards on 10 carries. 5.6 per carry from the Raiders duo would spell doom for Buffalo. Best to avoid it and let Chris Kelsay take one for the team on the first play from scrimmage, and take a knee shot on McFadden. I'm O.K. with it if you are. Actually, I'm O.K. with it no matter what you think. 

I also asked the rest of the partners at DGWU for some pre-game comments. At the time I was ready to post, I only received a response from the Barrister. Surprise. The guy who has written our last three posts comes through again. Many similar, yet superiorly written thoughts follow:

"Scizz wants a pregame comment from the Barrister, huh? Jesus, dude, how lazy can you get? And if you cite work, I swear I will smack you right in that pretty face of yours. 
 
Moving on, as I must, I think this Bills game will come down to whether the Raiders run defense can be contained or, more to the point, whether the Raiders actually stick with it enough to give a talent like McFadden a chance to get going. Maybe the Bills run D is actually worlds better, but we don't know, because KC basically abandoned it (though, when  you're down 20 in the 2nd quarter, you kind of have a knife to your throat....or a tomahawk...fucking racist fucking team name...eat a dick Kansas. And you too, Missouri).  Oakland's O-Line is much better than the Chiefs, and if they start running all over the Bills, this could be a shit-show of an afternoon.  However, I think its pretty clear that the Bills offense is clicking in a big way, and I expect that it will be able to put enough points up on the board to give the team a chance to win. If those points go up early, the main test for the Raiders is going to be whether they stick with the running game enough to hurt the Bills, or whether they start relying on Jason Campbell's arm.  If they choose the Campbell option, Bills win. If they choose the running option, we'll see what kind of impact Dareus and Barnett actually have on this team.


 And finally, it should be noted that last time I went to McFadden's for a Bills game, I had seventeen beers and five plates of wings.  I was 25 years old.  Sunday is going to be an exploration in how badly I've aged.  Can't wait." 


Aw, he thinks I'm pretty! On to my prediction for this week: 14 beers, 4 shots, 2 lbs of wings, and a hangover at 9pm. I don't make football predictions, but I usually have a pretty good handle on how drunk I'll get. Which reminds me! On Sunday, the DGWU crew will be recording episode 15 of the CrapTastiCast from McFadden's Saloon on 42nd and 2nd in NYC. Matt Kabel of the NYC Bills backers is an old friend, and has been awesome in making this happen. Get ready for another on location podcast! If you live in the tri-state area, we fully expect you to stop by and say hello. Don't look Yachter in the eyes though. He will either bite, scream obscenities at you, or both. And definitely DO NOT mention if you are from Rochester. Bottles will be thrown.

The recording will start around 11am for pre-game and we will be staying after to watch the game, and perhaps get some fan reactions. We will be the old guys in the front of the bar staring awkwardly at younger women while getting aggressively intoxicated.

I leave you with one of my favorite Rap Groups of my college years, The Beatnuts. Enjoy the entire video, however skip to the 2:32 mark to see my man Greg Nice dancing the same exact way I fully expect the Barrister to be dancing by halftime. That right there would be worth the price of admission.
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Ready Or Not, Here They Come.

9/9/2011

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The Scizz

Ah yes! You smell that in the air? That is the faint glimmer of optimism that secretes from the pores of DGWU every September. True, we bitched and moan all summer about the franchise, specifically our inept front office and our senile, Foghorn Leghorn owner, but that is all chicken wing grease under the frier, baby! We are just a few short days away from the return of our beloved Buffalo Bills!

The football excitement has hit all of us here at DGWU. The Barrister is fired up to actually watch all of each game this year after missing most of the second halves due to "prior commitments", which I can only assume has something to do with a Turkish bathhouse. The Apologist has recently posted thoughts on these final days to kick-off, in which the love of football starts running into your veins and fighting it only makes you want it more. And of course that soccer-loving dingleberry, the Yachtsman, is even hosting the DGWU crew on Sunday with his newly acquired NFL Sunday Ticket. He may deny it, but I brought up some young Buffalo players this past weekend and I saw his eyes light up. As cynical as all of us are, we still LOVE this team. Everything I wrote here still rings true, though as I mentioned in that post, I will still cheer for this team to the bitter end. I may not get as angry when they lose as I use to, and I may not "freak out" if I can't find a certain item of Bills clothing before game-time, but I sure as hell know that when that first kick-off flies through the air, I will be a screaming idiot hoping for a 16-0 season. Which reminds me, go fuck yourself WGR.
Now I can move on to my very brief and totally unorthodox Buffalo Bills preview. I am not going to call it a "season preview" because that would be unfair to all the great blogs that did fantastic season previews, and I am not going to call it a "game preview" because the only game-specific item that is truly newsworthy is Matt Cassel's banged up ribs. Therefore, these are just a few ridiculous tidbits I would like to see come true this 2011 season for the Buffalo Bills In particular order:

1. Marcell Dareus needs his nickname changed to "Biggie Smalls". It may possibly be because I started work back in Brooklyn this week. It could also be that three straight Biggie songs came on my iPod during a run last night while getting a high five from someone who saw my Bills hat. But, really it is because the guy is HUGE but still moves with the agility of a smaller guy, say a free safety or Aaron Maybin circa 2007. I like his current nickname, "Crimson Elephant". It is a cool handle that suits Dareus just fine. But imagine you are sitting in the Ralph, and every time he records a sack or makes a big play, this comes on the JumboTron:
YES! I'm picturing the crowd singing along to "Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see" right now. I love it and this needs to happen. I'm making a phone call. I'm awesome.

2. Marcus Easley, Donald Jones, or David Nelson blow up for at least 50 catches and 6 TD's. This one has potential, so stop laughing and here me out. Last year NOBODY expected Stevie Johnson to blow up like he did, and contrary to the idea that Lee Evans getting double teamed is what freed him up, go back and watch the second half of the year when Evans was either hurt or being covered by the opposing team's nickel back the entire game. Johnson has made himself a legitimate threat to other defenses, and who's to say that teams won't double team the shit out of him this season. Open door for one of the young fellas above. I'm not sure which one will be the break out star, but don't be surprised when one of them becomes a great fantasy football pick-up.

I should also mention that with the Amish Rifle throwing the ball, ANYBODY could see their numbers shoot up. Love him or hate him, Fitzy is the new Sexy Rexy. "Fuck it, I'm throwing long".

3. Terrence McGee will have a bounce back year and reestablish himself as the team's top corner. Crazier things have happened, and with all the off-season chatter about his nagging injuries and rising age, I could see him running wild this year. Chances are slim, but I have always like McGee and I would love to see him return to old form. Speaking of old form....

4. The Bills sign free agent Pat Williams to back-up Kyle Williams the rest of the year. That is all. And yes, you can insert your own Ted Washington joke here.

5. Finally, I pray that C.J. Spiller does something for this squad. Outside of week 3 against New England, Spiller was non-existent. If this organization truly wants me to believe in Buddy Nix and Chan Gailey, then last year's first round pick needs to be bust-free. After Buffalo traded my boy Marshawn (by the way, that chick deserved it, she wasn't watching where she was going), I was pretty upset, but if anyone can make me forget about him, then it's C.J. The kid has talent and is ridiculously explosive, it all comes down to how you use it. Let's pray he is more Chris Johnson, and less Rashaan Salaam.

Enjoy the game on Sunday everybody. The DGWU crew is heading to the Yachtsman's man-cave in Brooklyn as I attempt to speed home from Happy Valley Sunday morning after PSU-Bama. If you are new to NYC and have no place to watch, head to McFadden's on 42nd and 2nd to enjoy one of the reasons I stayed a "New" New Yorker. Look for a really tall guy named Matt and tell him the Scizz sent ya. Oh...and get really drunk and make bad decisions too. That's usually the best part. HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!! LET'S GO BUFFALO!!!

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While I Was Away....

8/29/2011

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Marcell love you long time
Apologies. The last time I posted was the August 12th preview of our insane road trip to Watkins Glen. Since then I have spent little to no time in my actual apartment. After retuning from the Glen, I spent a full day editing Ep. 14 of the CrapTastiCast and then left for six beautiful days (and one shitty one) in the Dominican Republic. That was awesome and much needed.

While I was gone, the Barrister not only won a trial, but kept this site up and running, so a huge thanks goes out to him. (Which by the way, where the fuck are Yachtsman and Apologist? Do they even write for this site anymore??) The plan was to return and start throwing up some posts about football, hockey, NASCAR, and even soccer. Hit the ground running if you will. But due to some bitch named Irene, the plan changed. You see, while I was in D.R., Irene started to develop in the Atlantic and on August 22nd she hit the resort I was staying at. It was more of a grazing rather than a direct hit so I'm not going to whine about it.  The only inconveniences were having to stay in my room all day drinking beer and then a delayed flight the following day. No big deal. However, after putzing around Wednesday and Thursday by watching Dr. Who and catching up on laundry, I was forced to realize that the SLORE Irene had followed me back to the mainland. Ugh.

So began my adventures this weekend of preparing my apartment for the SAME hurricane and heading out to the girlfriend's parents to take up shelter. Upon returning last night, this is what my street corners looked like:
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Fun times. Luckily there was minimal damage to the apartment building and everything is fine. So here I am Monday morning, one week left in my summer vacation and I have not posted any ramblings or rants in over two weeks. Brace yourselves for this statement.

I'm excited about football starting. There I said it. I know the rest of the crew is going to give me shit for this but I can't help it. I talked college and pro football all weekend with my girlfriend's family and now I am legitimately excited about football coming back. I just love the sport too much to not show any emotion before opening kick-off. It's like a drug that was introduced to me at a young age, and although the new version of it is watered-down and leaves me feeling strung out, I just can't help myself in the long run. I need it. But let me make one thing clear; I'm excited about FOOTBALL, not necessarily the terrible coverage I will have to endure and I am certainly not getting over-excited about....

The Buffalo Bills. Oh lord the Buffalo Bills. Pre-season has shown exactly what I expected to see from this team. The offensive line is arguably one of the worst in the NFL. The run defensive is equally as embarrassing (ran over by Chicago and Jax who rested their starters). The offense that looks the exact same as last season; at times electrifying and dominant, and at other times anemic and unable to accomplish the simplest goals. Preparing my best Denny Green impersonation aaaaaaaaaand, THEY ARE WHO I THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!! Scene.

Yet as angry as I am about Ralph still owning this team, the pathetic run-defense, and the consistently neglected O-line, I will take this time to mention THREE positives I have taken from the team thus far. I am reeeeeeeeeeally trying here people.

     1. Marcell Dareus is a beast and we have a pass rush. Dear lord do we have a pass rush. I'm not getting my hopes up too much, but the worst thing about watching the Bills of the last several seasons has been QB's sitting in the pocket, taking their time to pick our secondary apart. Dareus has been pushing linemen out of his way, Merriman looks to be all roided up again (metaphorically of course - *loosens collar*), and young players like Antonio Coleman and Alex Carrington have the potential to be major factors. On top of it, throw in the Kyle Williams extension and I am loving what I am seeing out of this group. Now if we can only find a way to implicate Chris Kelsay in an illegal cock-fighting ring.

     2. Fred Jackson is the starter. Bottom line. Thank God Chan didn't screw that situation up anymore than he already did. Freddie has been one of the lone bright spots on this team the last few seasons and he could be an All-Pro on a team that used him correctly. If I was still purchasing Bills Gear, his jersey would be an easy choice. The whole situation should have never happened and I totally understand that they need to give C.J. Spiller more confidence, but c'mon!Jackson has shown time and time again that he deserves to be the starter on the squad, so let's keep it that way.

     3. Marcus Easley? Really? Wow. I know it was only one game but he looked great. Running strong routes, moving DB's out of his way, and even throwing a key block on a big Freddie Jackson run. He looked exactly like what James Hardy was supposed to. Then again, I don't believe Easley ever pulled a gun on his father. If you listen to the CrapTastiCast then you know my love for David Nelson, but maybe he needs to stay as a #3 or #4 if Easley can show some consistency. Fingers crossed, but not holding my breath. And for the love of God don't start with the "Marcus makes it look Easley" bullshit. He hasn't actually accomplished fuck-sake yet. Relax Berman-ites

There you have it, a quick and mostly positive look at the 2011 Buffalo Bills. A first here on this site. I am so proud of myself....or is that shame? I can't tell yet but I'll get back to you. I also may have written this only because I am fearing for my life from the Bills Mafia. Although I have a feeling that if they attempted to carry out a "hit" it would just involve a teenage girl yelling at me and saying I support Cancer. But more on them another time....
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The Wire's 2011 NFL Draft Day Fallout: Part One

5/3/2011

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DGWU Crew would like to welcome its newest guest contributor, The Wire. He is a proud ex-pat of WNY who now resides in New Haven, CT, so very close to us in NYC.  A childhood friend of the Scizz, The Wire brings a college football/draft expertise like no one else. The analysis is a little late to the party, but totally worth the wait.  Trust me. You will get more info from the first paragraph of this post on the Buffalo Bills' selections than anything else the rest of the DGWU Crew has said....combined.  While we were Sabres-obsessed, he was reading every draft guide known to man. So let us welcome The Wire with open arms in a sexual chocolate style bear-hug (kudos to the podcast listeners who got that joke).
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The Wire

1 (3) - DL Marcell Dareus, Alabama
Presuming Auburn QB Cam Newton would be off the board to Carolina, the Bills were set to pick whichever impact front-seven defender Denver passed on; Dareus or Texas A&M pass-rushing specialist Von Miller.  With Miller selected at #2 overall, Dareus was the logical, prudent choice and consistent with the philosophy touted by GM Buddy Nix that the Bills would select the best players available on their board at positions of need.  Dareus was a consensus top 3 prospect and NFLN's Mike Mayock's and ESPN's Todd McShay's top player overall.  Dareus is big, powerful, and surprisingly athletic; an ideal fit as a zero- or five-technique in the 3-4 scheme and also capable of playing on the guard or center in the 4-3.  He immediately legitimates the Bills' defensive line next to Kyle Williams and allows last year's draft picks Torrell Troup and Alex Carrington further time to develop.  Any concerns about Dareus' weight are off-set by his superior character and work ethic. 
Grade:  A

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Yeah, that's 2010 NFL Rookie of the Year Sam Bradford writhing in pain. Good on ya' Aaron.

2 (34) - CB Aaron Williams, TexasIt seems the Bills can't help but select a defensive back (or two or three) in every draft year.  Whether that be due to the nature of the position or a crippling obsession with Tom Brady, is for another debate.  At 6'0" 205, Williams is a big, physical, aggressive CB also capable of playing free safety.  His most useful attribute is the ability to play on both the outside wideout as well as on the slot receiver.  As a rookie, depending on McGee's health and McKelvin's general incompetence, Williams could see time as either a starting CB or as an impact #3 in the Bills' nickel package.  In effect, with their top two draft picks, the Bills selected two players who can start at five different positions.  Williams' primary weakness is straight-line speed as he may not be able to keep up with faster wideouts 30 yards downfield.  No matter, his versatility and strength are key, and with the Bills possibly losing Donte Whitner, Drayton Florence, and Ashton Youboty in free agency, the secondary had become a major need mostly overlooked by fans.
Grade:  B+


3 (68) - ILB Kelvin Sheppard, LSU
The Bills' defensive coaches had the pleasure of working with Sheppard at the Senior Bowl, which was followed-up by a glowing visit to One Bills Drive.  From that point forward, many fans had this marriage pegged.  Sheppard is a big, strong, and cerebral inside LB who made all the defensive play calls at LSU.  He was considered their emotional leader.  Sheppard, who has been compared to former Bill London Fletcher, is a good insurance policy for pending free agent Paul Posluszny.  If Posluszny re-signs in Buffalo, which he has indicated he will, Sheppard should have little trouble beating out deteriorating Andra Davis for the other starting inside spot.  In pre-draft reviews, many analysts were concerned with Sheppard's speed from sideline to sideline.  However, Bills' coaches stated that Sheppard, at 250 lbs, performed better in this regard at the Senior Bowl than he had on previous game tape.  Considering value and need, this was the Bills' best pick of the draft.
Grade:  A

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As long as he isn't celebrating a tackle 40 yards downfield after getting torched, then this is acceptable.

4 (100) - S Da'Norris Searcy, North Carolina
The Bills kept with the theme of defensive versatility with the selection of Searcy, who is capable of playing either strong or free safety.  At 5'11" 225, Searcy is a big safety with fluid hips who appears to play faster than his clocked dash times (4.5s).  Oddly, pre-draft reviews on Searcy were mixed; some labeling him as tough and physical against the run and others documenting an apparent reluctance to engage with ballcarriers.  Most significantly, Bills coaches and scouts have complimented his willingness to get in the box against the run, and his potential to contribute as an emergency kick returner.  Of all North Carolina players involved in last year's academic scandal, Searcy's role has been downplayed, suggesting that administration and bureaucracy, rather than anything substantive actually led to his brief suspension.         
Grade:  B-  


Good stuff, right?  Join us tomorrow for Part TWO of The Wire's 2011 NFL draft day fallout, in which he breaks down Buffalo's late round picks, including a brand-new DGWU favorite (please refer to earlier Sexual Chocolate joke).  What's the best part about having The Wire on board? His college football knowledge you say?  Naw. Excuses to play videos like the one below.
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The Intimidating Chameleon, F-U Whitner, and the Little LB that Could

4/30/2011

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The three stooges and some huge asian guy


The Scizz

Let's have some draft analysis, shall we? I'll start by making one thing clear.  Due to the Sabres playoff run I have never been less prepared going into a draft.  I normally have a minimum of three draft guides in my work-bag and bathroom stand (where most of the got read) and I know every player available.  How obscure? When Buffalo picked Xavier Omon a few years ago out of Northwest Missouri State, I actually knew who he was and that one of his strengths was his up-hill running ability. I'm not kidding. Draft day has been a holiday of mine since college.  I use to load up on beers and park myself in front of the TV for the entire thing. That actually lead to me blacked out and with a concussion after the 2003 draft, but that is a story for another day.

This year I wasn't totally lost, but nowhere near as prepared as usually.  I knew the basics. Who the top few prospects, who the best available QB's were, and most importantly that there were no top-rated athletic RB's that Chan and Buddy would reach for.  So please forgive me for my lack of accurate analysis here today. I still need to take a crack at it.
Please check out that video of Marcell Dareus above. Fantastic charisma.  Before the draft I was sure Von Miller was going to be the guy. Yes, I was enamored by Cam Newton's athleticism (and I'm still confused on what are future plans for QB are), but in know way did I think that Denver would pass on this beast.  When Goodell announced Miller to Denver, I was fired up.  And then Buffalo did something they usually don't do.  They didn't reach.  The brought in a game-changing D-lineman that is going to look phenomenal next to our sole Pro Bowler Kyle Williams.  He's a chameleon baby and he intimidated management to select him. I love it. Only time will tell how good Dareus will actual be, but the future of the D-line looks bright that big smile and Alabama charm disrupting backfields. Welcome to Buffalo Dareus
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Aaron Ross, anyone?
Sitting with hundreds of Bills fans Thursday night, it was very apparent nobody wanted a defensive back with the first pick.  Just the idea of Patrick Peterson going to Buffalo had fans dropping angry rants before the game. At first I was totally inclined to agree with this, but after stepping back to think about it, it would not have been that bad.  Many people still believe we have a strong secondary but look at it; McGee is always hurt, Leodis is obviously not turning out to be a 1st round corner, Florence may leave in free agency, and Corner and Youbuty are nothing more than dime backs. At safety, I like Byrd, Scott, and Wilson, but fuck that d-bag Whitner.  Stop celebrating 37 yards downfield after making a tackle. 

So when Buffalo selected Aaron Williams yesterday I got excited for thee reasons. 1. He was projected to go as high as mid-1st round and depending on who you talked to he was a top-3 DB.  2. Everything I read about him says how well-rounded he is and how complete his game is. I can't remember the last time Buffalo drafted a guy that scouts labeled with no glaring weaknesses.  Oh wait, we did in the first round.  3. This may be the final F-U to Donte Whitner.  Williams can also play free safety and could be a great fit to takeover that role for the Bills. Please Lord let that happen and my next jersey purchase is Aaron Williams. Sing it with me to Donte everyone....Fuck You! OOO-OO-OO!!  I'm mature.
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I don't know very much about Kelvin Sheppard.  He is definitely no little like I mentioned in the title of the post, however the way his draft stock has risen shows me his perseverance.  According to a friend of mine (great source, huh?) in early draft reports Kelvin was projected 5th or 6th round, but after LSU pro-day and the combine it appears his stock rose. All of a sudden he was a 4th round pick.  But Buffalo fell in love with him at the Senior Bowl (which the staff coached) and he became our 3rd pick.  Some may call it a reach but according to DGWU future draft expert "The Agent", fnas have been calling for this pick on Bills message boards for months.  The smart message boards, not the dumb ones. I have no idea what that means.

What I do know is the Bills chose players the DGWU crew have been calling for them to do for years. DEFENSE DEFENSE DEFENSE!  Yes, we need a QB, TE, and the offensive line still needs plenty of work, but every facet of the D needs it too.  I for one look forward to seeing Mr. Dareus, Williams, and Sheppard in action soon. Enjoy the draft today folks and check back later today or Sunday for some more updates.  GO BILLS!
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