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Too Many Mooks - A 2014-15 Sabres Primer

11/11/2014

The Commander

Greetings all!! I haven't blogged anything in a very long time, and for that I apologize. You see, when last we left me...I was happy, living in beautiful, warm California...enjoying life as much as I ever had. Funny thing that happens when you're with someone in the medical profession, they have to do internships and residencies for like 15 years after they pay six figures for the privilege of getting their degree. So you end up moving all over the country (and maybe even Canada!) while they're basically paid less than minimum wage and you never ever see them. This sort of vagabond lifestyle leads you to such exotic locales as my current home: Long Island.

So here we are, cold, miserable, and I haven't left my house in like 6 days. What better time to fire up the old blogging URL and wax poetic about our favorite hockey team, the Sabres.

First off, you need to go watch this or else the theme is going to be lost on you. If you haven't seen it, you can probably still follow along...but you should watch that video anyway because it's all sorts of brilliant and funny.

And with that I present...

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Hurricane Will Cross Fade On Your Ass.

4/22/2011

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Oh My God It's a Mirage...I'm tellin y'all it's a....WARPATH

The Yachtsman

Alright party people all up on my bozak, it's time for another edition of "Holy Shit I'm Panicking, The Game Is Only Three Hours Away." If you haven't already checked out our newest podcast, do so now....trust me, listening to us make asses of ourselves for forty five minutes will make puck drop come that much quicker. Shouts to everyone who's bumped us this week, SO awesome of all you cats out there on the interweb to pump us up...we appreciate it and will give back with booze if and when we see any of you people at a drinking establishment.

"What are these, two for one?!"

Tonight has the potential to be a motherfucking old timey hoedown, Hatfield/McCoy style. Keys to the game:
- Look out for a boatload of diving from the Flyers, and for the refs' eyes to be zeroed in on those wearing s-words on their jerseys.
- Chris Pronger is still dead.
- Brian "Bobby" Boucher is set to backstop the Flyers tonight. So hopefully Tyler Ennis can get some more Derek Roy-esque low percentage shots on him to make him look like an All Star again (boo, hiss).
- Patrick "The Doorman" Kaleta is all up in the Flyers collective slightly balding combover'd head.
- Miller is fucking PISSED. I will take an Angry Miller over any goaltender in the league right now. #30 on the ice, #39 in spirit!
- By now, everyone - fans, players, coaches, etc. - are deep in their horrible playoff facial hair spiral. Even the ladies.
- Scott Hartnell is still a little ginger bitch.

Yet another meatball outkicking his coverage.

For those of you NYCers who are interested in watching the game on the Island, the old standards (McFaddens, Kelly's, & Kinsale) will all be showing the game. Since the DGWU crew + significant others have basically all been on a badass bender since the Sabres clinched, we are taking it easy and heading to Beckett's on Stone Street. If their are too many finance douchitudes on the first floor, we will take it upstairs. Keep an eye out for a Goat Hasek Jersey & a Slug Pominville jersey. And that brings us to.....

So easy to hate...so easy to love....

In honor of Patrick Kaleta, today's pregame musical-interlude-for-you-to-punch-walls-to is The Beastie Boys "Sabotage". Not only is this a kickass motherfucking demonstration of beat-badassery, it's also the single greatest music video ever produced. Go Get 'Em, Patty!

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First Round - Game Four Recap: A Compilation of Awesomeness

4/21/2011

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The Scizz

Word on the street is, the above picture from WEDG was taken on Briere's street. I don't care if it is true or not because that is fucking fantastic. I don't think I even need to show the 4:20 stoning of lil' danny by Miller again, but in case you missed it:

Last night was awesome and the fall out has been even more awesome. That's why instead of me rambling on about everything that happened last night, I have compiled a one-stop-shop for all things important (video/pics/links) that went down. Bear with me, I have a lot to show you. First off, the "dirty plays" we all keep hearing about. I've decided to keep it to the following things: Richards' elbow, Gate-gate (as I'm calling it), Kimmo's nut shot, Myers destroying Briere, the Flyers whining and Lindy's subsequent response. Let us begin, shall we?

Go to the 0:27 mark to see the elbow for the first time. I get it Flyers (and fans), Kaleta is a dirty, annoying as hell player, but your telling me that makes it ok for Richards to throw that WWF style elbow up? Eat a dick. To say there was no intent to harm is absolutely ridiculous. Especially because the main argument I'm hearing is that "Kaleta deserved it" and by saying that you are acknowledging there WAS intent. But to show you I am a fair and honest person, I present the next clip.

Gate-gate. Terrible name, I realize this. But I added the second gate because of the way people are up in arms about the whole thing as if it is some huge conspiracy. The refs are out to get you? Did you see any of game two? With that being said, I will totally admit that the whole thing is screwed up and Kaleta can be a real piece of shit. Was it dirty? Yes. Was it intentional? Yes. Was it hilarious? FUCK YES! If anyone has the computer-savvy capability of playing that clip over-and-over-and-over while speeding it up and putting the old Benny Hill music to it, then you my friend will have a long-life pal in one, The Scizz. C'mon people, He opened a bench gate and the guy fell backwards a foot. Unless you are a complete pussy (see Sidney Crosby), then no injury is going to come from that. Career ending? Give me a fucking break. Deadspin called it "the dirtiest hockey play we've seen in awhile". Really? Jump on Youtube and watch any highlights from Matt Cooke, Sean Avery, or Raffi Torres and then talk to me. NEXT!

Ok, so I don't have video evidence available to put up on this site, but you can click here to see Kimmo spearing Gerbe in the nether region. Classy Philly. I keep hearing that Gerbe took a run at Kimmo behind the net first, so again there is that lovely "he deserved it" argument. Going back and forth and saying "he did it first" is classic sports stupidity. I'm sorry, but smacking someone in the BALLS with your stick after the period ended is as grimy as you can possibly get. Unless you are opening a gate for another player to fall...that may be slightly grimier.

Now onto the Briere hate! (lots of links comin', but I told you it's a compilation) I won't go into too many words here because if you really want to know how the DGWU crew feel about him, you can listen to last week's CrapTastiCast, However check out this awesome GIF from Phil at Black & Blue & Gold of Myers owning 'lil danny and then take a listen to Nick Mendola's new rendition of the Elton John classic "Daniel". God Bless both you fine, young gentleman.

And lastly, how have both teams responded? The Flyers keep whining and Ruff calls them bitches. Ok maybe he didn't call them bitches but still. I just find it unbelievable that anyone can say that the refs have been lop-sided this series. I will not argue that there have been some AWFUL calls on both sides, but to say it is lop-sided shows no knowledge of the game of Hockey. Seriously, shoot yourself in the face. Both teams have fought hard, taken some questionable hits, and presented us with some of the best hockey possible. Go back to throwing batteries at your OWN players if you don't believe that.

But let us not end on a sour note! How can we forget Ryan Miller's post-game press conference: “I don’t need to listen to all of the (stuff) that’s out there from people who don’t know how to play goalie. I really don’t give an expletive.” AMAZING! You should also Check out the Sabres 2011 playoff intro. Chills. Then of course there is this picture that Phil from BBG took last night:

Spoke to Phil earlier today and the story behind the picture is great. At the plaza, they have these security points set up so they can oversee the crowd from a bird's eye view. He asked security if he could go up and take a picture of the awesomeness (there's that word again) that was going on outside HSBC Arena. With a security escort, of course, Phil ran up and snapped this. Next time anyone questions Buffalo fans, I'm just gonna pop this sucker out.

Speaking of Phil (he is all over this post!), he will be joining the DGWU crew tonight for the recording of CrapTastiCast Episode 3. Looking forward to having him on to talk Sabres hockey, party in the plaza stories, and of course our favorite topic, BEER. Join us tomorrow for a game five preview from the Apologist and probably more drivel from me. Spring break baby! GO SABRES!!!

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Sabres' New Schedule Released / Kaleta Accepts Offer

7/16/2009

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The Apologist

The Sabres' 2009-2010 schedule has officially been released. The Sabres will open their season at home against Scott Gomez, Jaroslav Spacek and the rest of the new Montreal Canadians.

The most notable thing about the schedule right now would have to be the end. If you're one of the more optimistic Sabres fans who thinks we have a shot at the playoffs this year, certainly you're not foolish enough to think we'll cruise into them. The last couple seasons tell us the Sabres will need to win games down the stretch to get into the top 8. Well, six of the Sabres' final eight games will be on the road. After hosting the Lightening on Saturday, March 27th, the Sabres go to the Bruins, home for the Panthers, then at Leafs, at Candians, home for the Rangers, at Bruins, at Senators and ending it all (well, hopefully not all) in New Jersey against the Devils. If I'm correct in my assumption of the Sabres' eventual necessity to win in the home stretch, that will be a tough road-trip. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Click here if you would like to view the Sabres' schedule as a PDF.

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Too Many Mooks - A 2014-15 Sabres Primer

Hurricane Will Cross Fade On Your Ass.

First Round - Game Four Recap: A Compilation of Awesomeness

Sabres' New Schedule Released / Kaleta Accepts Offer

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